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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How Do I Get Him To See Whats Important? (793 Views)
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How Do I Get Him To See Whats Important? by nowwhat: 8:51pm On Jan 30, 2016 |
So please help me to keep my head above water.. 6 years apart, moved back together last summer, but then he was unexpectedly admitted to m. Engineering program in Calgary 10 hrs away. He is very occupied, understandably but just some small gestures of love would mean so much to me. 7 yrs of struggling and caring for our children alone makes me weary at times. I am happy that in a year or so when he's done he will be set with his mechanical/petroleum engineering degree and hopefully can finally contribute to the finances and move back.. But how do I hold on when our reconciliation was just fresh, then he moved away again, (with my support however) All I'm asking for is maybe some flowers delivered once every blue moon, maybe a letter in the mail, or a small gift.. I don't need much, just small touches of love n appreciation. Do I have to outright ask for this of him? I wish he would think of it on his own! |
Re: How Do I Get Him To See Whats Important? by Cutehector(m): 8:53pm On Jan 30, 2016 |
I think u are depressed.. u should see a therapist. |
Re: How Do I Get Him To See Whats Important? by thorpido(m): 9:14pm On Jan 30, 2016 |
You're not clear with your story. |
Re: How Do I Get Him To See Whats Important? by edwife(f): 9:14pm On Jan 30, 2016 |
@ nowwhat What you call romantic(chocolate,flowers,candle-night dinner) might not be your husband ideal.Perhaps his own way of being romantic is his selfless love, genuine loyalty or companionship.Be thankful with the little thing he does to express his love. If you want him to be romantic why don't you take the lead and be romantic? Send him little gifts,write him letters or send him text or call him to say "I love you". Surprise him with unexpected visits(if you could find someone to watch the kids while you spend a day with him).He will feel uncomfortable and reciprocate your gestures. Your husband might not catch on your desire for him to be romantic,so you need to tell him things you like.Be a bit vocal about the things he does that you love,you don't expect him to read your mind about what you want or what romances you. You also need to calm down and take things one step at a time.You stressing for nothing; You have been holding on just fine for years so i will really ask you to hang in there for a little while. Just occupy yourself with the kids and work-in no time he will be back. Goodluck dear and please don't stress-you sound a bit depressed. 2 Likes |
Re: How Do I Get Him To See Whats Important? by Miami11: 9:32pm On Jan 30, 2016 |
Some people are not the affectionate,romantic type talk to him about your concerns |
Re: How Do I Get Him To See Whats Important? by nowwhat: 10:05pm On Jan 30, 2016 |
Thorpedo, what's not clear? All I'm asking for is s little TLC, is that too much to ask? It just seems his school is first, his work, and then somewhere along the way I might get a little bit of the leftover attention. I'm not a selfish pushy person, maybe a bit needy, but just wondering how guys feel if they're woman asks them for flowers, letters, etc?? I do text him loving msgs, etc but maybe I just have to accept a life with no romance? |
Re: How Do I Get Him To See Whats Important? by Nobody: 2:55pm On Jan 31, 2016 |
nowwhat: Na romance be your problem. Not love. Your problem is an overrated concept? You never ready. |
Re: How Do I Get Him To See Whats Important? by naijathings(m): 3:48pm On Jan 31, 2016 |
nowwhat: sorry booo... not all men are wired that way but some men are fast learners especially when they really love you. maybe yooo need to make mockery of him with these things and let him see he is dulling you in the area of showing love & affection. most men tend to wake up when you make jest of them with the things you really want to tell them. they might act like they didn't hear you but somewhere in the register of the mind, it is noted. do not tell him directly, he might start acting a boring romance movie. make jest of him without making comparisons or making a big deal about it, give him clues. and wait for reaction. 1 Like |
Re: How Do I Get Him To See Whats Important? by mutter(f): 4:37pm On Jan 31, 2016 |
@ poster...A big hug and lots of love from me. I know just how you feel. TLC I used that so often myself. Some men just don't know how to send that across. They may love but not much comes across. Being a mother and coping with kid's alone is a tremendous task and it saps one too. Sometimes we women just need to feel loved and appreciated . It helps us cope. Don't go down on your standard. Every woman needs love. |
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