...that she has a married lover?

What is the psychology behind telling you?

Poju o

If you think you know the answer, just say it, instead of muttering there.

If your brain cannot understand the import of the question, let me break it down for you.

Even when this friend has mentioned a boyfriend, she didn't just say, "I have a boyfriend". I would have been thinking, "And? "

When she has mentioned a boyfriend, it would be in passing. For example, we'd be talking about a film, and she would mention that her boyfriend liked it.

So, to be suddenly told out of the blue that she is seeing a married man... why would a girl mention that?

uzeless pipuls

uzeless womans

can't even explain der own nonsense

Some ladies got balls

sinequanon:
...that she has a married lover?

What is the psychology behind telling you?

Bros na ashawo be dat.

She just dey ask make she know as people dey take am for their mind. D people wey knw.

Greene66:

Bros na ashawo be dat.

No. This was something else. But I am not completely sure what.

Greene66:
She just dey ask make she know as people dey take am for their mind. D people wey knw.

oops. pidgin fail. my pidgin isn't that good.

Can somebody break it down. Thanks.

One of my friends practically blurted out to us an affair he's been having with a married woman for the last year.

She either let it out accidentally, or needs an outlet (with these kinds of things, most people do) and deemed you trustworthy or "safe" enough (far removed from the person and/or herself) to tell you. She may want or need your admonishment. She may not.

EnlightenedSoul:
One of my friends practically blurted out to us an affair he's been having with a married woman for the last year.

She either let it out accidentally, or needs an outlet (with these kinds of things, most people do) and deemed you trustworthy or "safe" enough (far removed from the person and/or herself) to tell you. She may want or need your admonishment. She may not.

I think that you are absolutely right, and this was a large part of it.

I didn't think much about it at the time, but the horrible thought that crossed my mind eventually was that it may have also been an accusation.

We were definitely interested in each other, but she would play hard to get, and I am someone who just goes with the flow. So we just stayed friends. She may not have seen it exactly like that, but may have seen it as me toying with her. Then, when she wound up in this unsatisfactory relationship with a married man, the downside of which was hurting her, she may have been wanting to put the blame on somebody else.

She definitely knew me to be somebody who doesn't cheat at all, and who can say no to the wrong sort of girl, even if I am single. So, to admit to me that she was not only cheating, but doing so with a married man, must have taken some effort on her part.

sinequanon:


I think that you are absolutely right, and this was a large part of it.

I didn't think much about it at the time, but the horrible thought that crossed my mind eventually was that it may have also been an accusation.

We were definitely interested in each other, but she would play hard to get, and I am someone who just goes with the flow. So we just stayed friends. She may not have seen it exactly like that, but may have seen it as me toying with her. Then, when she wound up in this unsatisfactory relationship with a married man, the downside of which was hurting her, she may have been wanting to put the blame on somebody else.

She definitely knew me to be somebody who doesn't cheat at all, and who can say no to the wrong sort of girl, even if I am single. So, to admit to me that she was not only cheating, but doing so with a married man, must have taken some effort on her part.

I don't think so @ accusation. She can hardly blame you for it, so I think it was more about needing to fess up and have some kind of outlet.

With my friend, I knew something was up the entire time and I knew it was girl/relationship-related, but, man, I never would've guessed. Suddenly, he was out with it 'when he could keep it in no longer', as he put it. He's in wayyy over his head.

EnlightenedSoul:
I don't think so @ accusation. She can hardly blame you for it, so I think it was more about needing to fess up and have some kind of outlet.

Sorry to say this, but I find that women don't always use logic, and often speak in riddles.

What got me thinking about this was what happened at her wedding. I had moved, and we'd only kept touch with the odd e-mail. Then I suddenly got an invite to her wedding. She has a nice place in France, and I new it was going to be good. Then things started to go wrong...

I seemed to be missing from various lists and things. Consequently, I almost spent the night stranded at the airport. Also, she had moved me out of the main hotel into one god awful dingy place. And I missed the main dinner. The whole thing spelled the end of our friendship.

Her best friend was the maid of honour at the wedding. It was the first time I had actually spoken to her one to one, and she said some things that were quite bizarre. First, she told me that men and women cannot be friends unless the man is gay. She must have been trying to say something about my friendship with her friend. And she also told me that she used to like stringing men along and hurting them. But, now that her boyfriend has just broken up with her, for the first time she is the one who feels hurt.

Again, women speak in riddles. But was she trying to tell me that she thought I had been stringing her friend along? Or maybe she was just confessing too? Maybe I look like a pastor or something?

EnlightenedSoul:
With my friend, I knew something was up the entire time and I knew it was girl/relationship-related, but, man, I never would've guessed. Suddenly, he was out with it 'when he could keep it in no longer', as he put it. He's in wayyy over his head.

I was surprised with this girl, too. But only because the dude was married, but it makes sense now.

She had been dating what she call azzholes, and she freely admitted that she was attracted to azzholes, and needed her head examined. I am the complete opposite, and I have no idea why she liked me. I think I only ever saw one of these azzholes, the bf she was with when we first met. He was abroad, and she was very flirty with me, even though she was waiting for him to pop the question. He never did.

From time to time she would complain about one azzhole or the other. I think she was looking for romance and love, and azzholes are the best pretenders. Eventually, she moves onto this married man - more stable, and the disappointment is upfront and less harrowing for her,... or so she must have thought. It still hurt her deeply. So, I think she told me, not only to fess up, but to complain about her situation.

She must be saying " you are too stingy".

Alaanyihaji:
She must be saying " you are too stingy".

I don't see the connection, at all.

Anyway, as it happens, this girl didn't care about money.