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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Am I Wrong? (957 Views)
Am I Wrong Fighting My Husband's Younger Brother's Side Chick? / Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? / Am I Wrong For Asking My Husband To Choose? (2) (3) (4)
Am I Wrong? by Dammed93(f): 10:41pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
I WRONG? PLEASE JUDGE ME. COPIED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am an Accountant in one of the leading banks in Nigeria. I married 12years ago. I never had any problem in my marriage not until I told my husband that we need to build a house of our own. This is how it happened. I brought this idea before him, he was very happy but asked me where he's going to get the money to buy land not to talk about building on it." You know I am not financially stable " he replied. I told him not to worry, that was going to be of help to him. A month after, my husband told me that there was a plot of land to be sold. We arranged a meeting with the owner of the land and we were taken to the place. I saw this plot of land by myself and I like the area where the land is. We talked about the price, and the owner of the land said the land was to be sold 1million naira. The following day, when I was coming from work I cashed the money and gave it to my husband as the head of the family, to pay for the land. The money was diverted by my husband for another purpose. I was mad but what can I do as a wife who doesn't want her home to tear apart. I over- looked it and move on with my life. A year after, I brought the same idea to my husband again because I don't like the bogus amount we spent on rent yearly. I gave him another 1million to get another plot of land. To my surprised, my husband could not account for how the money was spent and did not buy the land. This time around I did not take it easy with him. He knew he was guilty, he begged me and promised not to play on me again. At this junction, I felt I should give him a surprise by getting the land myself. I bought a plot of land without his knowledge and later told him. He did not take it likely with me. He considered me to have taken his place in the family. As I am speaking to you now there is rancour and acrimony in our home because he has decided to back out. How to handle this issue I don't know because it has gone beyond me, and I don't want to lose my home purposely because of my children. I need you to judge me if I was wrong with my decision because, I don't feel I was wrong. Advice me where necessary, and tell me the way forward, plea......se! |
Re: Am I Wrong? by Olami90: 10:45pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
Op, u haven't done anything wrong at all if all you said is true. I am sorry to tell you that your husband is one selfish $ egocentric person. I so hate people that doesn't accept fault but play smart by making u feel guilty. It is wickedness. Op, relax ur muscles. If u av tried to sit him down to talk things through and he is hell-bent or not givin listening ear, go talk to somone u know he respect a lot(his dad/mum/mentor or a true man of God) and explain things. Hopefully, he should be able to come back to his senses. 3 Likes |
Re: Am I Wrong? by MzPecs(f): 10:48pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
Hmmmm |
Re: Am I Wrong? by Nobody: 10:49pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
Madam, lemme tell u d truth.. Your husband made a convenant not to ever own a house in his life...This convenant was made years before you guys got married. His life depends on it. if he continues to stay in that house, knowing he would soon own a home, he would die.. I know you don't want him to die.... so this is what u should do....sell d land u bought...to save ur marriage n so that you won't be a widow... when your husband comes home, look for a bible believing church and start going..Ask the pastor to conduct deliverance for Oga, after which you can now buy as many lands as u want... dalu. 1 Like |
Re: Am I Wrong? by Marlvin(m): 11:01pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
DDeliverer: er you drunk ? |
Re: Am I Wrong? by Cutehector(m): 11:01pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
Chei madam ur husband needs to see TB Joshua.. 1 Like |
Re: Am I Wrong? by Marlvin(m): 11:14pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
The fact that he apparently squandered 2milli is baffling and shocking ! something isn't right here, you're really such a nice woman , having the best interest of your home n family et hrt. If you can talk to your husband's best friend or someone he listens to, let the person find out what really is in the cupboard, it's obvious to everyone here that you've done nothing wrong to warrant such out burst , do back it up with prayers . 1 Like |
Re: Am I Wrong? by Nobody: 11:19pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
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Re: Am I Wrong? by Udochee(m): 11:19pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
Dammed93:madame u did no wrong in making plans towards owning a house.the ingenuity & doggedness of some reasonable wives are the reasons some men own houses now.your husband is scared of the cost it might incur.not to worry just find one his friends that is also a house owner & discuss with him. please don't make him feel 'financially inferior' & always carry him along with every plan |
Re: Am I Wrong? by UnknownT: 11:20pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
God don't ever make me behave like the op's husband, who without shame 'duped' the wife of 2million naira and now trying to blackmail her with the 'I'm the head' emotion. Just keep ur land op, fence it and leave it like that (or lease it to a mechanic). After he is done sulking( it could take him years) , he will come back to his senses 1 Like |
Re: Am I Wrong? by Nobody: 11:21pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
Habah! This is wrong!! 2milla wasted ![]() ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Am I Wrong? by Topestbilly(m): 11:36pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
Why do some men feel too bossy sef? At times ma'am some issues ar not might to be treated softly... how on earth will someone not be happy to own a house? Probably because d money is not coming from em. Ma'am u need to start working on dat land now dat d money is coming n u still got d strength. Your children are most important. 1 Like |
Re: Am I Wrong? by MRBrownJ: 11:39pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
@Dammed93 isnt it obvious?! your husband can ONLY start this land/building project "if" and/or "when" HIS money pays for it. that man's ego is in the way and you will never find happiness unless that ego is surgically removed from his brain. you can even bring the land + house built on it and he will still reject it. that man doesnt have your family's wellbeing in mind when he does all his nonsense, he only has himself and his low self esteem bs EGO in mind. i can already hear that man:"how dare his wife will pay for the house where his family will live" sadly, you are also to be blamed for this nonsense... how come you have 1milla (thrice) that your struggling husband doesnt know about?! what kind of family unit is this?! |
Re: Am I Wrong? by JhimmySpark(m): 11:55pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
Hope u didn't buy the land in his name sha!!..coz dis ur magarism dey fear me. Person wey no dey financially stable, carry one million waste, u still carry another one million give am again im waste am. U com buy d land stil with ur own money. The man vex comot for house. U com dey here dey worry...................May God heal ur marriage 1 Like |
Re: Am I Wrong? by temi4fash(m): 9:48am On Feb 24, 2016 |
Dammed93: Madam, Don't let your man intimidate you, there some things that have to be done by force. Your husband's ego is getting a hold of him, he will come around. Just be strong, organise the money and start building. I no alot of my mum friends that are were once in your shoes, they didn't build and now they built but it was late and it was not as easy as it would have been back then. The so called husband that didn't want them building the house now stays in the house with them. My opinion is don't back down, if you need to code it so that the he doesn't no so that there will be peace do so but don't stop the project, do it in your name, and continue cos nothing last forever. That the advice I would give my sister. You don't want to start building house at old age.. My 2 cents. |
Re: Am I Wrong? by Sunnypar(m): 10:20am On Feb 27, 2016 |
No, you ain't wrong. |
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