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So closed ** - Family - Nairaland

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My brother is driving me nut - How Should I Handle This Family Issue? / My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife / MY BROTHER IS Cheating On His Wife (2) (3) (4)

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So closed ** by humbledbyfaith(m): 12:27pm On Feb 28, 2016
Re: So closed ** by maxti: 12:29pm On Feb 28, 2016
.. I think it's too early to conclude. Weddings cost a lot and your bro might also have some other challenges.
Give him some time n never stop praying for him.

4 Likes

Re: So closed ** by Artistree: 12:29pm On Feb 28, 2016
Your mind might just be playing a fast one on you, relax and watch a little more.
Re: So closed ** by PresVA: 12:29pm On Feb 28, 2016
Visit Your brother and have a talk with him.. He maybe facing other challenges unrelated to his wife...

Good luck. .. I hope he continues fending for you. ..

Meanwhile, you can also find ways to help yourself. . You can do some lil businesses or something. ..
Re: So closed ** by humbledbyfaith(m): 12:34pm On Feb 28, 2016
maxti:
.. I think it's too early to conclude. Weddings cost a lot and your bro might also have some other challenges.
Give him some time n never stop praying for him.
i know weddings are costly that is why i gave him a reasonable amount of time frame to rebuild...

Hmmm..

Thanks for your advice though
Re: So closed ** by humbledbyfaith(m): 12:39pm On Feb 28, 2016
PresVA:
Visit Your brother and have a talk with him.. He maybe facing other challenges unrelated to his wife...

Good luck. .. I hope he continues fending for you. ..
hmmm.. I hope you are right though..
Re: So closed ** by Chidoks(f): 12:49pm On Feb 28, 2016
Have a chat with him, and whatever be the outcome make a move towards make making money for yourself. I've heard of people that saw themselves through school. Depending on your course of study, you can take up part time jobs or holiday jobs. While in school I walked into an eatry and saw a hot babe I had been admiring serving, story had it that she was self-sponsoring.
Who knows if and when you get something doing, he may feel challenged and take your schooling as a priority
Or he may be going through a tough time.
It may have nothing to do with wifey.
Re: So closed ** by Chidoks(f): 12:52pm On Feb 28, 2016
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Re: So closed ** by humbledbyfaith(m): 12:55pm On Feb 28, 2016
Chidoks:
Have a chat with him, and whatever be the outcome make a move towards make making money for yourself. I've heard of people that saw themselves through school. Depending on your course of study, you can take up part time jobs or holiday jobs. While in school I walked into an eatry and saw a hot babe I had been admiring serving, story had it that she was self-sponsoring.
Who knows if and when you get something doing, he may feel challenged and take your schooling as a priority
Or he may be going through a tough time.
It may have nothing to do with wifey.
thanks so much my sister....
I will definitely have a chat with him..
Happy sunday
Re: So closed ** by Chidoks(f): 1:00pm On Feb 28, 2016
humbledbyfaith:
thanks so much my sister....
I will definitely have a chat with him..
Happy sunday
Thanks, may the future smile at you.
Re: So closed ** by Rixy007(m): 1:17pm On Feb 28, 2016
am in a similar situation
First before judging d wife look back on your brothers past... Was he d very caring guy who paid much attention to the family if he Was then u really av to take him from the wife
She has d power to take his face off the family
She will av him take the responsibility of hear own family while neglecting his
You need d lords intervention

1 Like

Re: So closed ** by Nobody: 1:23pm On Feb 28, 2016
He's now married, money no go de flow as b4.

3 Likes

Re: So closed ** by lesbiangirl(f): 2:00pm On Feb 28, 2016
humbledbyfaith:
Happy Sunday House..

I have this very pressing issue...

My immediate elder brother got married last year and since then his attitude towards his me and my brother had changed...
He is our bread winner (my parents are both late)

He brought this his wife about 7 months ago and we immediately accepted her into our family as we wanted our brother to be happy...
At first she acted all nice and friendly, then suddenly ,after her traditional marriage with my brother, she suddenly became cold..
I didn't notice but when my younger bro told me ,i Watched closely and i noticed it too...
After 2months they did their white wedding and all was happy..

After a month of their wedding, i called my brother to ask hum of my bro's school fees as it was due..
He rudely told me that they is no money blah blah blah that i should wait a little longer ...

I didn't even remind him of my own school fees which was accumulating because i felt he had just married and had used a large chunk of his money for the wedding...

I called him yesterday and his wife picked..her voice was cold as she told me my brother wasn't around and all that.. I gently told her that i would call back..
Many thoughts ran through my mind as my brother never ever forgets his phones at home...
I reasoned she was lying and all but waved the thought away..
My head is in disarray right now...

Bills are piling up and my brother doesn't seem to care one bit..
Could It be that his wife is responsible for our turmoil or what....

God!!


That's a huge assertion one you shouldn't just conclude unless you talk to your elder bro face to face to avoid wahala. You'll be fine sweetie...life's too short to worry about money kiss

1 Like

Re: So closed ** by Evina(f): 4:10pm On Feb 28, 2016
humbledbyfaith:
i know weddings are costly that is why i gave him a reasonable amount of time frame to rebuild...

Hmmm..

Thanks for your advice though

Is one month a reasonable amount of time frame to rebuild?

3 Likes

Re: So closed ** by armyofone(m): 4:34pm On Feb 28, 2016
I hope new generation Nigerians will stay off having too many children than they can care for. Imagine you and your brother's school fee on top a married man's head shocked
We are no longer in the age of putting responsibilities on someone or first born take care of the rest syndrome.
Parents should be the one caring for their own children so have small family.
If you have the money help is what you give and no one should make it your responsibility or force you to do something you cannot bearing in mind limited resources.
Op, he has a family now and soon their own child to focus on so remember that. You never know they have a baby on the way or paying back wedding loans.

10 Likes

Re: So closed ** by armyofone(m): 4:44pm On Feb 28, 2016
Just imagine that... undecided please op, look for a job. Look for a part time jobs at your school and work. You guys say no job ummm oh yeah. Tutoring, cleaning campus toilets and cafeteria jobs etc are done by American students. So look for those kind of work. I'm sure your bros would be happy to hear something like hey brother I have 40 k from my hair braiding business or my small job and would need 40 k to make up same with Dave etc
Happy Sunday.
Evina:


Is one month a reasonable amount of time frame to rebuild?
Re: So closed ** by johnson232: 4:55pm On Feb 28, 2016
lesbiangirl:


That's a huge assertion one you shouldn't just conclude unless you talk to your elder bro face to face to avoid wahala. You'll be fine sweetie...life's too short to worry about money kiss

u are not serious...
Re: So closed ** by PresVA: 5:31pm On Feb 28, 2016
armyofone:
I hope new generation Nigerians will stay off having too many children than they can care for. Imagine you and your brother's school fee on top a married man's head shocked
We are no longer in the age of putting responsibilities on someone or first born take care of the rest syndrome.
Parents should be the one caring for their own children so have small family.
If you have the money help is what you give and no one should make it your responsibility or force you to do something you cannot bearing in mind limited resources.
Op, he has a family now and soon they will have his own child to focus on so remember that. You never know they have a baby on the way or paying back wedding loans.
Her parents are late, didn't you read that?

Besides, nothing wrong with helping your younger ones.. if you're successful, it's good you help your siblings succeed too; if it's in your power. .. Nobody is asking you take care of them all their life; it's just for a few years till they stand their feet.. Not by force though and I don't think op is forcing her brother. .

Your sibling may be one to help you tomorrow. ..

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Re: So closed ** by armyofone(m): 6:17pm On Feb 28, 2016
My post was for those starting up...not specifically for her.
Nothing wrong but see the double requests coming his made him shy away.

PresVA:
Her parents are late, didn't you read that?

Besides, nothing wrong with helping your younger ones.. if you're successful, it's good you help your siblings succeed too; if it's in your power. .. Nobody is asking you take care of them all their life; it's just for a few years till they stand their feet.. Not by force though and I don't think op is forcing her brother. .

Your sibling may be one to help you tomorrow. ..

3 Likes

Re: So closed ** by Nobody: 7:19pm On Feb 28, 2016
Op, i understand how u feel.. But your brother has to marry, irrespective of whom he married. And when marriage comes, more financial responsibilities sets in for him. At least he has tried all these while. And one month is too short, to offset wedding bills.. At least 6months, he shouls be balanced by then.. But for the maintime, look for menial jobs to do.. Learn a skill and earn yur own money by the side.. The economy is very tough.. Everyone who is wise is looking for a way to.make an income..
Theres a bricklayer i use to know, thats for a guy o... Because u r female.. This guy is now a graduate .. He sponsored his way through school by doing bricklayer job. Now hes a graduate of estate mnagement .. Hes not relenting .. Hes working his way to the top.. And this one his parents are alive ooo, but too poor to help him through school.
So try look for small jobs around..
I know of a popular newscaster that was clearing bushes, growing around banks to train himself.. He goes to various banks, as at then to clear their bushes for a specif amount weekly.. From clearing of bush, he delved into buying of abandoned cars, make deals with mechanics and rewire and panel beater.. When the car is in workable order and looks good, he places it for sale , with high profit.. Then he settles everyone who worked on the car, keep the remaining as his profit.. Thats how he trained himself to school.. His father never believed in training children.. So he had to train himself.. If u see him, hes highyl respected worldwide.. Financially ok, takes trips abroad with his wife and kids every year.. If i mention his name here.. Everybody will shout.. But such is life..
Try and be self reliant.. Its goes a long way.

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