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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down (66777 Views)
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Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by Lawz20(m): 10:58am On Feb 29, 2016 |
Good day my fellow Nairalanders, I have a very serious problem which I so much believe that with your kind and generous advice, I might take the right step. I met this girl around April 2012 at my work place and since then we have been together after I proposed to her last year. The fact is I love her so much and I thought she also loves me. I went down with her to her village around April 2014 to see her parents formally and they were so happy, her mum, dad, grand parents and even her siblings welcomed me wholeheartedly and I was so happy. I stayed with them for two weeks just to see if I can picture out any bad behavior but seriously, non was found. The problem am having with her is that she has too much male friends and most of them are always sending her love messages both on 2go and Facebook. I once stumble on her Facebook inbox and I found a chat between her and another guy and he was just thanking her for coming to spend good time with him, bla bla bla and how he enjoyed her. I was so mad because during this period she went to the village alone and promised to return in a week but she didn't until after 3 weeks, this is what she always do, she travels like 4-5 times in a year and never return on time. When she returned, I confronted her and she said she is not the one that did that chat with the guy, I tried asking her who did but she never gave me a good answer. Later that week, she gave me her phone to help her charge it in a barbing saloon, then a strange number called and I picked, the person hissed and cut the call, he later sent a message saying, "you're picking my wife's call and asking me who it is" I replied him that he should check the number that he might be wrong, he then mentioned her name. I went back home to ask my fiancee who own that number then she said its that guy I saw his chat and I should not worry, she will fix it. Recently again, she has travelled and up till this moment, she is not back, she promised she won't stay upto 2 weeks but yesterday makes it 5 weeks. That same yesterday, my mum's pastor asked my mum to call me that he has a message for me which I later went, he greeted me and say, while he was praying for me because of my mums request, that he was shown that the lady I am planning of marrying is not mine alone, that if I go ahead to marry her, she will wreck me and leave me, he said she travelled now and I said yes, he said she was seeing someone else in the village, he said if I doubt him, I should go ahead. It was then my mum now said, my younger sister told her of a dream she had, that I caught my fiancee with another guy and it leads to a fight which the said guy killed me. I myself have had such dreams too. The pastor gave me 3 days fasting and prayer. I am confused, despite all her cunning ways I still love her but what should I do and how do I go about leaving her. I will be 30 by 5th April, am not getting any younger. Please advice. 57 Likes 11 Shares |
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by Nobody: 10:59am On Feb 29, 2016 |
Bros do you even need a pastor or prophet to tell you what exactly is happening? You've seen it all, you've heard it all; it's obvious she's got another man (maybe even engaged to him) somewhere else. You are just her city runz. I personally don't think I have anything to advise you cuz what you should do is just too obvious for the blind to see and the deaf to hear. The solution/answer is right in your front. Do what you gotta do and don't be a pvssy Cheers Lalasticlala coman see o 625 Likes 29 Shares |
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by McCarlito(m): 11:02am On Feb 29, 2016 |
I don't have a problem with my lady's inbox messages....The only place I have a problem with her is about her outbox (sent messages that's where the truth is found). Picking her calls without her consent and spying on her with intent to catch her cheating is wrong... She gave u her fone to charge and u switched it on waiting for who to call her and u gladly picked her calls expecting to be respected by the caller ![]() ![]() ![]() She travels for weeks without u querying someone in her family about her frequent visits to her village and wait their replies.. As she's not her village town crier.. Concerning ur pastors revelations and tastings and prayers..... don't forget many homes have been ruined and relationships ended because of "My Pastor said this syndrome" Bro.... don't rush to get married because of age as that is not a great reason to marry... Since u still love this lady as u said above; u have to call her to a quiet place and have a heart-to-heart convo with her to identify what is it that u are not doing or u are doing that is making her live a nomadic and promiscuous lifestyle... Don't be surprised Bro.... the problems might be u.. or some other factors u are overlooking..... My sincere advise would be for u To move on with ur life SIMPLE Cheers... 120 Likes 11 Shares |
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by BerryScott(f): 11:04am On Feb 29, 2016 |
nawa oo brother, jst do d 3days fasting 1st. we culd start wif dt 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by jmichlins(m): 11:06am On Feb 29, 2016 |
You are dating an olosho who is using you as maga and your claiming bf. A guys is using her phone to chat up his gf cause her phone is a chat center (we had call center before). Keep doing it after all oloshos need a man to call theirs but when HIV comes calling, do remember that US has reduced their support for ARD so this time you will spend much 142 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by Sexytemi(f): 11:09am On Feb 29, 2016 |
i think i agree with berryscott on this. pls do the 3 days fasting with serious prayers, then i believe God would surely show u d right part. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by MeloGist(m): 11:15am On Feb 29, 2016 |
My brother better run for your life (before the do do the do) ![]() ![]() You may try the 3 days fasting and prayer sha, it might or will be of help to you.... ![]() 26 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by zealot4me(f): 11:15am On Feb 29, 2016 |
Op collect ur ring and move on 16 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by Nobody: 11:17am On Feb 29, 2016 |
Lawz20:did ur relationship board sosoliso flight, crashing indeed.. 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by MeloGist(m): 11:20am On Feb 29, 2016 |
zealot4me: Which ring?? and he should move on with what? |
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by lezz(m): 11:21am On Feb 29, 2016 |
Hmmn, you're on an emotional whirlwind!!! You mean with all you've seen you still need advice from us? Keep enjoying the relationship if there's fvck involve and look for a lady more compatible with you. Your girl has a lot of baggage she obviously can't shake off. And she's playing you like the mugu you are! 37 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by Dreament(m): 11:22am On Feb 29, 2016 |
Let me say, u are now aware that ur fiances is hidding things from u. Dont be suprise that her parents might be aware of her relationship in the village. If i were you, i will take my mind off that girl and start searching for another one. Break up with her when u finally get a woman of ur choice. I would hv say to break up with her now, but is not going to be easy because u love her. U need someone to rely on before u can take ur mind off her. 19 Likes |
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by 9japrof(m): 11:26am On Feb 29, 2016 |
your story lost credibility to me when you started this pastor ish, your pastor saw this and that bullshit. when would we make decision and Bleep the decision of these so called Fake Men of God. When the consequences come tumbling down it is you that would suffer it. That said, the babe is not honest with you, you are playing with fire, a babe who is not honest with you shouldn't be wifed , else you are heading for the rocks. The babe has numerous other male friends who you compete with in shining her Congo and the truth is that this babe have made you too gullible that you believe all the bullshits that she throws to your face. Bros retract from your self induced slumber, quit any investment on her cos Na bad ROI, and start looking for a better half. 25 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by ClassCaptain(m): 11:26am On Feb 29, 2016 |
. Have u tried calling them and making findings from them anytime your girl travels to the village. Have u at anytime reported this behaviour to her family. Unfortunately, it seems the girl family is in support of this . U travelled and spent two weeks with them in the village and they welcomed you warmly yet she comes to the village and spends time with some other guy, yet they refuse to act. . I am pretty sure her family knows about the relationship with the other guy in the village and they perceive you as the milo,bournvita and yards of ankara bringing other guy who supplies food for the family. A bad wife can be managed, but bad inlaws cannot be handled. 29 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by Topestbilly(m): 11:28am On Feb 29, 2016 |
Bros even dat fasting is not needed on dis mata.... Me ke? Just one silly text from a guy to my gal, am gone.. U don't marry out of pity or one-sided love. »»»»»»»»»» move on »»»»»»»»»» 24 Likes |
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by Nobody: 11:32am On Feb 29, 2016 |
Jeeez...Sissies everywhere! 7 Likes |
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by Pheals(f): 11:38am On Feb 29, 2016 |
Leave her now or which advice again u need? ![]() 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by TheBossLadyK(f): 11:42am On Feb 29, 2016 |
Wetin ur girlfriend dey find for 2go ![]() ![]() ![]() She get village husband u Na city mags..... Everything clear for ur eye u dey find advise... ![]() ![]() ![]() Nonsense.... 18 Likes |
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by Booty4me: 12:23pm On Feb 29, 2016 |
Since you don't want to heed to what your pastor said. Marry her then since you love her. After all love conquer s all 3 Likes |
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by Smellymouth: 12:26pm On Feb 29, 2016 |
Bros, u re just her side - boo ![]() 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by babyjanye(f): 12:28pm On Feb 29, 2016 |
@ op,kindly leave that lady,she is not your wife. I mean everything you need to know is already staring at you. Please for God's sake you wife will come,forget the number of years you guys dated 'it is not how long but how well". From above post she is not faithful at all. Think about your love ones,mum,sisters and other above all your career. So why will you kill yourself over one unfaithful lady. Ask God to direct you to your wife,am sure you will have nice story to post here. God bless you. 35 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by GoldenJAT(m): 1:54pm On Feb 29, 2016 |
From a realistic perspective, it's hard and hurts very much 2c d 1 u luv take u 4 a ride..... Bt as its stands.. Evrtin is 2 open 4u 2 pretend nt 2 know wats going on... ALLOW THE PAIN GET TO U, ADMIT SHE AIN'T THE 1 FOR U, AND I PROMISE YOU, EVRTIN WILL BE OK AT THE END. 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by Nobody: 2:45pm On Feb 29, 2016 |
Sexytemi:oh please everything is prayer and fasting, this is a simple issue! All these girls be forming holy meanwhile ure inside a guys house 8 Likes |
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by halexito(m): 2:49pm On Feb 29, 2016 |
Hello brother, I know you're confused and in deep pains because of the deep love you have for her. Whatever advice is given here, the decision is still yours to make. BECAUSE IT IS YOUR LIFE. It's obvious she's lost the trust you have in her. And trust is one of the pillars of any relationship. Do you want to marry someone you can't trust? The warning signs are right under your nose. Spiritual warnings and the physical ones you've seen with your korokoro eyes! The warnings are coming at this time for a reason, you're not yet married. Please, don't be the stubborn fly that follows the corpse to the grave. That woman is a sweetened poison. Don't because of the sweetness of your love foolishly take poison. Here is LIFE, here is DEATH. The choice is yours. But you have been warned. 14 Likes |
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by pharmagba: 2:54pm On Feb 29, 2016 |
I understand your situation very well, you love her so much and it is very obvious. 2 observation I think your fiancee is not employed I think the relationship has drag for too long without tiieing the knot What do you do? Sit down with her in a serene and jovial atmosphere and 1-first ask her for her fears and reservation about the relationship 2-then Ask her to tell you all what she did not like about you 3-then tell her to tell you what she likes about you 4- tell her you want to settle with her the next 3month and see her remarks These are the revealing answers 1-if the fears are only about you- and are not what you can do. It is quit time 2-3 if the things she dislike about flow easily And the one she likes are not easy to re numerate- it means you are in the wrong rxtnship 4- if she is not ready in 3rmonth- she does not want you if she only said no without a reason 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by Nobody: 2:56pm On Feb 29, 2016 |
I don't know what to say since your man of dog has already told you what to do. |
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by NaMe4: 4:12pm On Feb 29, 2016 |
Well, since you'll be 30 this year and u're becoming an old baba, just marry her na and face what ever happens next 3 Likes |
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by Sexytemi(f): 5:48pm On Feb 29, 2016 |
2BB4CB3E: what do u expect me to type?, that he should break up with her ![]() And for your info, i don't form holier than thou o, am strictly myself online, no fake personality.....and na my house i dey no b man house. 6 Likes |
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by Nobody: 7:13pm On Feb 29, 2016 |
Sexytemi:. Yes he shld break up with her! Wats pourin sand in someone's garri when somtin is wrong its wrong! And whats my biz if ure at ur house 4 Likes |
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by Sexytemi(f): 7:18pm On Feb 29, 2016 |
2BB4CB3E: well, that's left for him to decide o, he asked for our opinion and i stated mine.. i don't think i did anything bad. and re-read your post to know y i said am in ma house. 7 Likes |
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by Nobody: 7:24pm On Feb 29, 2016 |
Sexytemi:when I said that ure inside a guys house I didn't mean that you're there literally |
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by Sexytemi(f): 7:55pm On Feb 29, 2016 |
2BB4CB3E: ohhh..okay 3 Likes |
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