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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Marriage: Should Husband And Wife Have Secrets (2168 Views)
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Marriage: Should Husband And Wife Have Secrets by fogechi: 6:52am On Mar 04, 2016 |
it baffles me when i hear people especially ladies say i lock my phone because of my husband. Guys too lock their phones but should there be secrets in marriage? Husbands and wife took oath to love each other for better and for wosre so why should we have secrets. I read on nairaland where a guy lambasted another guy for going through the wifes phone. For goodness sake what is wrong with that. mugabe said people sleep together,touch each other private parts but when it comes certain issues you hear "its privat to me please respect my privacy" i think in marriage we should be open to each other, no secrets and nothing like its my privacy. I stand to be corrected that most problems in marriages are caused as a result of these secrets and privacy. A wife should be opened to her husband, likewise the husband. Marriage is sweet. |
Re: Marriage: Should Husband And Wife Have Secrets by fogechi: 6:54am On Mar 04, 2016 |
I know people will bash me but its allowed. I hve said my own |
Re: Marriage: Should Husband And Wife Have Secrets by halfricanadian(f): 6:58am On Mar 04, 2016 |
fogechi: But wen d other party finds out about the truth it becomes a problem Marriage means both of you are now one marriage has failed it cause in d world now When u guys are one body one soul u keep secrets? Wen d oda party finds out gets hurts they divorce? Smh for u i hope u not married please if not im sure d marriage is noy up to 10years cos i kno u will lie to me only liars keep secrets 1 Like |
Re: Marriage: Should Husband And Wife Have Secrets by halfricanadian(f): 7:01am On Mar 04, 2016 |
Every body thinks marriage is one man one woman that just love each other. Marriage is the union of a man and a woman who becomes one body one soul that walks the journey of life together procreates and so on Why wud u keep secrets from ur oda half ? I cant marry someone who is more than willing to keep secrets from me i hate that kind of marital life i reject it |
Re: Marriage: Should Husband And Wife Have Secrets by fogechi: 7:08am On Mar 04, 2016 |
halfricanadian: my dear which truth when there is no secret. Problem arise when the other partner discover the other has been keeping secrets. my question is why the secret in d first place. |
Re: Marriage: Should Husband And Wife Have Secrets by emerged01(m): 7:08am On Mar 04, 2016 |
halfricanadian: Yes! Not everything you tell your wife. Micah 7:5 Trust ye not in a friend, put ye not confidence in a guide: keep the doors of thy mouth from her that lieth in thy bosom. 2 Likes |
Re: Marriage: Should Husband And Wife Have Secrets by Adonis3: 7:10am On Mar 04, 2016 |
lol I don't subscribe to that Why should I get married to someone I can't be open to or can't be open to me ![]() #Adonis3HasSopken |
Re: Marriage: Should Husband And Wife Have Secrets by halfricanadian(f): 7:13am On Mar 04, 2016 |
fogechi: Thats what im trying to say why keep secret in the first place well mayb i dont get it Reasons i wana stay miles away from marriage i cant handle carefree guys who just do things no matter the consequences they are d type of guys ready to keep secrets dats bad very bad |
Re: Marriage: Should Husband And Wife Have Secrets by halfricanadian(f): 7:15am On Mar 04, 2016 |
emerged01: It says friend not wife bible acknowledge a man can be a friend to a woman even jesus made mary magdalene his friend and lazarus sister We are talking about wife here Even adam and eve did nt hide anything from one another eve gave adam d apple all im trying to say it no matter d consequences secrets damage alot even if its for a good cause it wud damage a lot |
Re: Marriage: Should Husband And Wife Have Secrets by fogechi: 7:25am On Mar 04, 2016 |
emerged01: pls tell me the things a man shouldnt tell his wife |
Re: Marriage: Should Husband And Wife Have Secrets by emerged01(m): 7:25am On Mar 04, 2016 |
halfricanadian: Oh! You are a lady. I know it will be difficult for you to believe. "Keep the door of thy mouth from her that lieth in thy bossom". Only one's wife not female friend can lie in one's bossom. |
Re: Marriage: Should Husband And Wife Have Secrets by emerged01(m): 7:29am On Mar 04, 2016 |
fogechi: A true man should be wise enough to know what not to tell his wife. It depends,as the situation arises. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Marriage: Should Husband And Wife Have Secrets by halfricanadian(f): 7:29am On Mar 04, 2016 |
emerged01: God meant from bashing her with hurtful words geez ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Please i tink adam nd eve illustration is enof God cud av made it in such a way only eve wud av eaten d apple nd dats final But she gave it to adam u kno adam wud av warned her severly bou d forbidden fruit. Shr didnt tink of d fact adam criosly warned her she knew d implication bt yet still told adam d truth dont u get it Its an illustration dat thou shall b open to thy partner atall times From adam to abraham to all d mighty men of God how many hid d truth from their wives? Even wen dey all wanted to take in new wives sleep with their wives servants they were open they told their wives before dey did so ok?? 1 Like |
Re: Marriage: Should Husband And Wife Have Secrets by PresVA: 7:33am On Mar 04, 2016 |
It all depends on the couple involved. . Whatever makes them happy ![]() However, nothing like 'privacy' in my own marriage.. I have access to everything concerning my husband including all bank details and investment details. .. Then, people shouldn't let the media influence their marriage or relationship.. Don't practise everything you read online.. Learn to do what's best for you and your spouse alone and not what people think or say! 1 Like |
Re: Marriage: Should Husband And Wife Have Secrets by halfricanadian(f): 7:34am On Mar 04, 2016 |
PresVA: WORD!!!! PREACH SISTER HELP ME PREACH O |
Re: Marriage: Should Husband And Wife Have Secrets by emerged01(m): 7:38am On Mar 04, 2016 |
halfricanadian: It seems you find it difficult to understand king James version. Let me help you with this: New Living Translation Don't trust anyone--not your best friend or even your wife! I'm out! |
Re: Marriage: Should Husband And Wife Have Secrets by halfricanadian(f): 7:43am On Mar 04, 2016 |
emerged01: WHY WOULD YOU MARRY SOMEONE YOU DONT TRUST? ARE YOU NOT THE CAUSE OF YOUR OWN PROBLEM |
Re: Marriage: Should Husband And Wife Have Secrets by PresVA: 7:53am On Mar 04, 2016 |
halfricanadian:Lol.. When I read comments like: why did you invade his privacy by using his laptop or phone. .. I will just laugh because I'm probably using my husband's phone/laptop at that moment. . ![]() Some comments are meant to be ignored.. Besides, many people echoing privacy ettcc will still go behind to check their spouse's phone/laptop; Humans are naturally curious... |
Re: Marriage: Should Husband And Wife Have Secrets by halfricanadian(f): 7:58am On Mar 04, 2016 |
PresVA: Yes we are naturally curious especially me ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Well bou secrets i av been dealt with in d past so i automatically assume ones there is secret im d loosing party. All d relationships av ever been except my present one * love boo ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Marriage: Should Husband And Wife Have Secrets by Nobody: 10:40am On Mar 04, 2016 |
A married couple ARE allowed to have secrets - within reason. Any issues that are LIKELY to affect you, your spouse or your relationship may be exceptions. Being married does NOT automatically mean you must share everything. Sometimes, certain confidences you have been entrusted with are NOT yours to disclose. An example - a female friend of you wife is cheating on her husband, your wife is not aware, neither is the woman's husband. It is NOT your place to expose this woman to your wife, far from it. Another example - a family friend is terminally ill, and you are aware of this, though no one else is privy to the patient's condition. The friend confides in you, and pleads with you not to reveal his condition to anyone, including your spouse. Again, it is NOT your place to reveal this to your spouse. Boundaries need to be respected. Supposing you were in a position of trust - you're a paralegal, doctor, attorney, PA etc. Does being married mean any confidences you are privy to MUST be shared with your spouse? 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Marriage: Should Husband And Wife Have Secrets by fogechi: 9:23am On Mar 06, 2016 |
Siena: i disagree with u, secrets are not allowed. That secret you are keeping from hurting your partner will turn out to have a damaging effect in future. So its better to discuss the issue than keeping the secret. |
Re: Marriage: Should Husband And Wife Have Secrets by Nobody: 10:25am On Mar 06, 2016 |
fogechi: You read my response, but you didn't comprehend. I said secrets that are likely to affect your spouse, or your relationship are exceptions. Other confidences that you are privy to - confidences entrusted to you at work, a client's transcript, a patient's medical history (even if the said patient is a friend of your spouse), A mutual friend's infidelity etc are NOT for you to share with your spouse. These confidences are NOT yours to share with anyone including your spouse, under ANY circumstance. In most cases where an officer of the Law needs access to certain details of a client or patient, a court order has to be applied for. Have you heard of the Confidentiality Clause? Doctors, attorneys, psychologists, church officials, stockbrokers and a whole bunch of other professional individuals (who may be married) are bound by this. If you feel you must share EVERYTHING with your spouse, then I will say one thing - I'm glad you're not my doctor or attorney, else I wouldn't sleep to good. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Marriage: Should Husband And Wife Have Secrets by xendra: 10:51am On Mar 06, 2016 |
this secrete thing, people take it too far and hurt themselves. I read a post by a man(a hopeless romantic) complaining that he just learnt about his wife's past and how she was deflowered, now he cant sleep because she gave her self away too cheaply and the guy was a jackass he knew years back. I just wonder why people don't understand that it is not everything you need to know about. Now he is having problems with his marriage of over a year and his wife doesn't even know it yet. stay away from unnecessary questions please and save your spouse from themselves by nicely not telling them when they ask questions they don't need answers to. |
Re: Marriage: Should Husband And Wife Have Secrets by Nobody: 11:08am On Mar 06, 2016 |
xendra: Spot-on! I don't know you, yet I like you already. My wife will not ask questions regarding my clients, work issues, or details of third parties etc. Unless she thought some of the details may hurt our relationship. I do the same too. If you trust your spouse, you wouldn't be hung up on them not betraying a confidence, or putting them in an awkward position by asking for details of things that common sense says they have a moral (and sometimes legal) cause to NOT share. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Marriage: Should Husband And Wife Have Secrets by Nobody: 11:33am On Mar 06, 2016 |
fogechi: I actually missed this part. Why would you go through your spouse' phone? It's no different to intercepting the postman, so you can grab your spouse' mail and rip them open. I guess it's okay to go through your spouse' emails and diary. Everything is wrong with that guy going through his wife's phone! He does NOT respect, or trust her, simple! I myself have NEVER gone through my wife's phone, emails or paper mail. I don't care to know her Social Media passwords either. One thing is certain - a sly cheat will always find a way. Before the advent of cellphones, internet etc, cheating and dishonesty still existed. If you can't trust your spouse, cut them lose! Because stifling and crowding them will surely drive them away. 1 Like 2 Shares |
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