Acidosis:
How many times have you instructed the boy to fetch you water?

Has he ever turned down your request?


Are you a perfectionist? I asked because some men and women can never be satisfied when they outsource. There is nothing you can do that will ever satisfy a perfectionist.

Its either you arrange the plates wrongly, or you sweep poorly, the plate is slippery, you use too much soap, the TV is too loud, you placed the remote wrongly, etc. When I meet such people, I run!

So may be the boy sees you as a perfectionist and he's trying to avoid home duties.

Examine yourself ma, and speak to him. Do not expect a 17 year old boy to read your mind. He has been living with you since he was 12! Where else do you expect him to learn home training?

Train the boy and stop frustrating the efforts you've never attempted.

op,forget everything you av heard on this thread and follow this advice.i think this poster is a psycologist.

purityannabel:
my brother in law staying with us is driving me crazy. ....many at times when he comes back from school ...He will just keep his school bag and leave the house without my knowledge ooooo..... He won't even bother to fetch water just from the tank oooo.....if I want to cook I will go down stairs and fetch it before doing the cooking. then if he later come back he will ask me for food........
Am just tired of this teenage boy.....I dont know what to do ........Pls your opinion will be appreciated. ......

no one can read mind.most times,males withing that age range are just driven by testosterone.so just sit him down in front of your hubby and talk to him nicely,if he refuses then fetch water and cook your hubby's food and deny him food if he ask for it.but am sure he will change after talking to him..take note.never expect a teenager to read your mind.

thelish:


So, if d boy was living with his mom, he will
need some form of communication before doing house chores? It seems nowadays kids are different ooo. How can I be in a house, and not do anytin? In this case, d boy have been doing it until he clock 15 yrs. When dem don dey carry small small girls, na so e dey be. Useless open eye

That's the difference isn't it? He's in someone's home and even though he's wrong not to help out, the woman should try and make her feelings known to him and to do that, she needs to talk to him and not expect him to magically read her mind. He has been with them since he was 12 for f'cks sake and if that woman can't talk to him yet, when will she do that?

utenwuson:
I grow up wt my elder bro, we live 2geda b4 he even get married, I don't c y d wife should send me on errand, I do things I want 2 do, like take my bro cloths to laundry, wash his car @ tyms, I even cook cos she was friendly, d moment she started seeing it dt is mandatory I help her I quit helping her, I will voluntarily mess up d whole place dts how we guys tend to grow, even mum cnt send me wen she s hard on me, but I can do anything 4 her wen she sound nice n friendly

voluntarily? You mean deliberately? Lol. Funny you. Maybe you are ready to marry your bro. Smh!

utenwuson:
I grow up wt my elder bro, we live 2geda b4 he even get married, I don't c y d wife should send me on errand, I do things I want 2 do, like take my bro cloths to laundry, wash his car @ tyms, I even cook cos she was friendly, d moment she started seeing it dt is mandatory I help her I quit helping her, I will voluntarily mess up d whole place dts how we guys tend to grow, even mum cnt send me wen she s hard on me, but I can do anything 4 her wen she sound nice n friendly

That's not proper even if I was angry, I can't stand to leave house chores to women when am around, maybe it has nothing to do with being a man and more to do with being the man.

thelish:


So, if d boy was living with his mom, he will
need some form of communication before doing house chores? It seems nowadays kids are different ooo. How can I be in a house, and not do anytin? In this case, d boy have been doing it until he clock 15 yrs. When dem don dey carry small small girls, na so e dey be. Useless open eye

u may be right ooooo .......that has been his work in the house but just totally changed. ......
the phones he bought that my husband seized was loaded with blue films and phonographic pictures

Acidosis:
How many times have you instructed the boy to fetch you water?

Has he ever turned down your request?


Are you a perfectionist? I asked because some men and women can never be satisfied when they outsource. There is nothing you can do that will ever satisfy a perfectionist.

Its either you arrange the plates wrongly, or you sweep poorly, the plate is slippery, you use too much soap, the TV is too loud, you placed the remote wrongly, etc. When I meet such people, I run!

So may be the boy sees you as a perfectionist and he's trying to avoid home duties.

Examine yourself ma, and speak to him. Do not expect a 17 year old boy to read your mind. He has been living with you since he was 12! Where else do you expect him to learn home training?

Train the boy and stop frustrating the efforts you've never attempted.

pls I have never been harsh on him......I use to give good advice on living a decent life......but since he start watching porn videos. ...it has never been the same....he can stay all day in the house without talking to me unless he sees me he will just greet and that is all....

pcguru1:

That's not proper even if I was angry, I can't stand to leave house chores to women when am around, maybe it has nothing to do with being a man and more to do with being the man.

1st male to quote me! bro try n read all my write up! I love cooking, I hardly see any woman who can match my cooking skills dts y I do d. cooking most tym but wen u do all ds, most women will tk u for a house boy n wanna send u on every single errand no knowing u re wt ur own brother

utenwuson:
I grow up wt my elder bro, we live 2geda b4 he even get married, I don't c y d wife should send me on errand, I do things I want 2 do, like take my bro cloths to laundry, wash his car @ tyms, I even cook cos she was friendly, d moment she started seeing it dt is mandatory I help her I quit helping her, I will voluntarily mess up d whole place dts how we guys tend to grow, even mum cnt send me wen she s hard on me, but I can do anything 4 her wen she sound nice n friendly

....

@OP, report him to your husband, if he still doesn't change, make sure you cook for yourself and your husband alone. You women can be funny at times, so you do not know how to deal with someone like that?

Inform your husband about his addiction to pun, if possible show evidence, also make sure you tell your brother - in-law the things you expect him to do in the house as a teenager, keep your husband updated on these things and inform him when the boy refuses to do them.

purityannabel:

u may be right ooooo .......that has been his work in the house but just totally changed. ......
the phones he bought that my husband seized was loaded with blue films and phonographic pictures

I know them pass u. I have his kind around me. He dey carry girls wey get d same tin wey u get, so why d respect for u?
Even if u don't give him food, he won't be bothered. We arrested my nephew last month cos of his useless attitude, The police dem threaten am seriously, and he signed an undertaking to always go to school n be of good behavior. Since then, he's been cool.
we got to know that, he's not been in school for almost a term, and he dey comot with uniform for morning, come for evening.

parrotibaba:
That's the difference isn't it? He's in someone's home and even though he's wrong not to help out, the woman should try and make her feelings known to him and to do that, she needs to talk to him and not expect him to magically read her mind. He has been with them since he was 12 for f'cks sake and if that woman can't talk to him yet, when will she do that?

My question is, Why did he suddenly stop? he's been doing it. This reading of mind dey provoke me.

thelish:


My question is, Why did he suddenly stop? he's been doing it. This reading of mind dey provoke me.

She should find out why he stopped and to do that, she needs to talk to him. Teenagers are always headstrong, and we were all teenagers once. The feeling of being a man and the rush of all those hormones coursing through the body, the feeling of independence, and all the other stuff about being a teenager changed him. Maybe he feels he doesn't get enough attention or respect from the woman, trust me, my little sister is right about the age of this boy and she's worst. She needs to talk to him, not like a boy anymore but like a man, she should also ask if she has pissed him off in anyway and maybe work on her attitude towards him if bad.

thelish:

I like u because, u nor dey disappoint me. lol

Hahahahhaa! I trust you too babe