This is my first topic on Nairaland.
As I'm writing this post now, I'm not smiling. Neither is my Chi smiling.

Last year I wrote Jamb and was admitted into one fecking school. The school is full of bullshit so I had to write another Jamb.

I didn't read or make any preparations for this Jamb, except for the Forcados High School literature, because I'm very confident in my Chi (*My Star* as Napoleon Bonaparte would call it). Moreover, my subject combinations were fecking easy. Maths, Eng, Eco, and Gov. And again, I had never failed jamb. Back to Back, i conquered it.

So yesterday was my exam. I went into the exam hall with 8.0 grade of happiness. I was going to conquer Jamb again. Though I didn't read, I set my target; Engligh: at least 70, Economics: at least 65, Government: at least 70, Maths: maybe 40 (remember, I didn't read). Altogether I was expecting to score at least 245 marks.

But by the time I would come out of the exam hall, my happiness grade had reduced to 4.0.

Firstly, the exam that was supposed to begin at 6:30 am, started by 10am.

Secondly, out of 50 questions in maths, I was able to answer just 26 questions before the center shut down their server. And I still had about 1hour 20 mins left on my time.

I complained to them that it wasn't fair, that I still had about 1 hour 20 minutes on my time. But no. It all went to deaf ears. They said the other candidates slated for 9:30am had to start theirs Asap, as it was already past 11.

To cut the story short, when I got home I had to readjust my expectations;

English: I killed it. Feck! Out of the 10 questions from Forcados High school, I was able to answer 9 correctly with 100% assurance. The other questions from english were breeze! I killed it all. So my expectation from english still remained at 70 marks (at least).

Economics: The economics was woeful. And to think of it that I'm an Economics Major, shame! Shame on me! I spent 10 minutes to answer a simple coefficient of price elasticity question! So my expectation from economics was reduced to 50 marks (at least).

Government: Even though I was a science class student in secondary school (before I decided to be an economist), I had read the whole government text book. No one in arts or commercial class could beat me at any government exam. So government too was a breeze! My expectations remained at 70 marks (at least)

Maths: Maths was very woeful! Out of 50 questions, I was able to answer just 26. And from those 26, I could only boast of getting a maximum of 17 questions correctly (MAXIMUM). So I reduced my Maths expectations to 30 marks (at least).

Altogether, I hoped to get a score of at least 220 marks.

My result came out:

Economics: I got 56. Bad for an 100 level economist student. But nevertheless, it was expected.

Government: Even though 70 marks was my least target, I had hoped to score above 80. But nonetheless, I got 72

Maths: I was amazed. I got 44! Even though I answered just 26 questions. Wow! Did jamb dash me some marks? I kept wondering.

English: I cleared my eyes again to check the mark. Still the same thing. Haha? Or am I the one that is not seeing well? So i asked my friend, who was busy playing FIFA 16, to have a look at the "Mark I'm seeing". He came over to the sofa, collected my phone and confirmed that truly my eyes had not deceived me. From anger I collected the phone from him and smashed it on the wall. If JAMB had said I scored 20 marks in their fecking Maths exam, I wouldn't have doubted. But telling me I got 28 Marks in English is a Blatant lie. And I'm really angry. The thunder that will fire JAMB and their Cohorts is still in hell tormenting Osama Bin Laden!

They have only Jammed themselves. I applied to a private university. But scoring 200 in jamb is totally unacceptable for me.

U fecking killed jamb and jamb fecking killed you..50:50

Brezil:
This is my first topic on Nairaland.
As I'm writing this post now, I'm not smiling. Neither is my Chi smiling.

Last year I wrote Jamb and was admitted into one fecking school. The school is full of bullshit so I had to write another Jamb.

I didn't read or make any preparations for this Jamb, except for the Forcados High School literature, because I'm very confident in my Chi (*My Star* as Napoleon Bonaparte would call it). Moreover, my subject combinations were fecking easy. Maths, Eng, Eco, and Gov. And again, I had never failed jamb. Back to Back, i conquered it.

So yesterday was my exam. I went into the exam hall with 8.0 grade of happiness. I was going to conquer Jamb again. Though I didn't read, I set my target; Engligh: at least 70, Economics: at least 65, Government: at least 70, Maths: maybe 40 (remember, I didn't read). Altogether I was expecting to score at least 245 marks.

But by the time I would come out of the exam hall, my happiness grade had reduced to 4.0.

Firstly, the exam that was supposed to begin at 6:30 am, started by 10am.

Secondly, out of 50 questions in maths, I was able to answer just 26 questions before the center shut down their server. And I still had about 1hour 20 mins left on my time.

I complained to them that it wasn't fair, that I still had about 1 hour 20 minutes on my time. But no. It all went to deaf ears. They said the other candidates slated for 9:30am had to start theirs Asap, as it was already past 11.

To cut the story short, when I got home I had to readjust my expectations;

English: I killed it. Feck! Out of the 10 questions from Forcados High school, I was able to answer 9 correctly with 100% assurance. The other questions from english were breeze! I killed it all. So my expectation from english still remained at 70 marks (at least).

Economics: The economics was woeful. And to think of it that I'm an Economics Major, shame! Shame on me! I spent 10 minutes to answer a simple coefficient of price elasticity question! So my expectation from economics was reduced to 50 marks (at least).

Government: Even though I was a science class student in secondary school (before I decided to be an economist), I had read the whole government text book. No one in arts or commercial class could beat me at any government exam. So government too was a breeze! My expectations remained at 70 marks (at least)

Maths: Maths was very woeful! Out of 50 questions, I was able to answer just 26. And from those 26, I could only boast of getting a maximum of 17 questions correctly (MAXIMUM). So I reduced my Maths expectations to 30 marks (at least).

Altogether, I hoped to get a score of at least 220 marks.

My result came out:

Economics: I got 56. Bad for an 100 level economist student. But nevertheless, it was expected.

Government: Even though 70 marks was my least target, I had hoped to score above 80. But nonetheless, I got 72

Maths: I was amazed. I got 44! Even though I answered just 26 questions. Wow! Did jamb dash me some marks? I kept wondering.

English: I cleared my eyes again to check the mark. Still the same thing. Haha? Or am I the one that is not seeing well? So i asked my friend, who was busy playing FIFA 16, to have a look at the "Mark I'm seeing". He came over to the sofa, collected my phone and confirmed that truly my eyes had not deceived me. From anger I collected the phone from him and smashed it on the wall. If JAMB had said I scored 20 marks in their fecking Maths exam, I wouldn't have doubted. But telling me I got 28 Marks in English is a Blatant lie. And I'm really angry. <<The thunder that will fire JAMB and their Cohorts is still in hell tormenting Osama Bin Laden!>>

They have only Jammed themselves. I applied to a private university. But scoring 200 in jamb is totally unacceptable for me.

Lwkmd

Wow dats fecking mean

OP, 28 in English? That's fecking hilarious. But it could be your real score you know

this ur "feck" got this post funny ....na comedy be this abi na wetin...


anyway


#RemarkJamb2016.

FrontPageBoy:
OP, 28 in English? That's fecking hilarious. But it could be your real score you know

I don't think so bro. English is my first language. It comes instinctively.

Brezil:


I don't think so bro. English is my first language. It comes instinctively.

Even if english is your language of communication, as long as u live in Nigeria its not your first language. Btw which uni did u choose in jamb?

^^ I grew up in the UK bro. I've only lived in Nigeria for 3 years.
Babcock University

Brezil:
^^ I grew up in the UK bro. I've only lived in Nigeria for 3 years.

Babcock University

Even native Brits fail English. You are here entertaining us. Study

Brezil:
This is my first topic on Nairaland.
As I'm writing this post now, I'm not smiling. Neither is my Chi smiling.

Last year I wrote Jamb and was admitted into one fecking school. The school is full of bullshit so I had to write another Jamb.

I didn't read or make any preparations for this Jamb, except for the Forcados High School literature, because I'm very confident in my Chi (*My Star* as Napoleon Bonaparte would call it). Moreover, my subject combinations were fecking easy. Maths, Eng, Eco, and Gov. And again, I had never failed jamb. Back to Back, i conquered it.

So yesterday was my exam. I went into the exam hall with 8.0 grade of happiness. I was going to conquer Jamb again. Though I didn't read, I set my target; Engligh: at least 70, Economics: at least 65, Government: at least 70, Maths: maybe 40 (remember, I didn't read). Altogether I was expecting to score at least 245 marks.

But by the time I would come out of the exam hall, my happiness grade had reduced to 4.0.

Firstly, the exam that was supposed to begin at 6:30 am, started by 10am.

Secondly, out of 50 questions in maths, I was able to answer just 26 questions before the center shut down their server. And I still had about 1hour 20 mins left on my time.

I complained to them that it wasn't fair, that I still had about 1 hour 20 minutes on my time. But no. It all went to deaf ears. They said the other candidates slated for 9:30am had to start theirs Asap, as it was already past 11.

To cut the story short, when I got home I had to readjust my expectations;

English: I killed it. Feck! Out of the 10 questions from Forcados High school, I was able to answer 9 correctly with 100% assurance. The other questions from english were breeze! I killed it all. So my expectation from english still remained at 70 marks (at least).

Economics: The economics was woeful. And to think of it that I'm an Economics Major, shame! Shame on me! I spent 10 minutes to answer a simple coefficient of price elasticity question! So my expectation from economics was reduced to 50 marks (at least).

Government: Even though I was a science class student in secondary school (before I decided to be an economist), I had read the whole government text book. No one in arts or commercial class could beat me at any government exam. So government too was a breeze! My expectations remained at 70 marks (at least)

Maths: Maths was very woeful! Out of 50 questions, I was able to answer just 26. And from those 26, I could only boast of getting a maximum of 17 questions correctly (MAXIMUM). So I reduced my Maths expectations to 30 marks (at least).

Altogether, I hoped to get a score of at least 220 marks.

My result came out:

Economics: I got 56. Bad for an 100 level economist student. But nevertheless, it was expected.

Government: Even though 70 marks was my least target, I had hoped to score above 80. But nonetheless, I got 72

Maths: I was amazed. I got 44! Even though I answered just 26 questions. Wow! Did jamb dash me some marks? I kept wondering.

English: I cleared my eyes again to check the mark. Still the same thing. Haha? Or am I the one that is not seeing well? So i asked my friend, who was busy playing FIFA 16, to have a look at the "Mark I'm seeing". He came over to the sofa, collected my phone and confirmed that truly my eyes had not deceived me. From anger I collected the phone from him and smashed it on the wall. If JAMB had said I scored 20 marks in their fecking Maths exam, I wouldn't have doubted. But telling me I got 28 Marks in English is a Blatant lie. And I'm really angry. The thunder that will fire JAMB and their Cohorts is still in hell tormenting Osama Bin Laden!

They have only Jammed themselves. I applied to a private university. But scoring 200 in jamb is totally unacceptable for me.

and you dey find FP ko?, Allah ki'aei. Afteral mah hard earned 178 though those fraudsters' stil owe me 80+ atleast if dem fit pay 60 join that one he for no pain me much, is better than ur bonus 200.

That is not fair! Despite your efforts, JAMB "fecking" jammed you.
I must commend you, you "fecking" have a good sense of humour.

JAMB has really jambed students this year but its not funny

YOU DIDN'T READ
YOU FAILED.
SIMPLE

Oboy! OP wan kill me with laughter
What the feck! Why the feck would this fecking jamb people feck with you? Don't they fecking know who the feck you are and where you fecking come from. I can't stand this feck anymore. FECK IT!

glimpse33:
YOU DIDN'T READ

YOU FAILED.

SIMPLE

This annoying child.

chillax bro, at least u knw that u're good whatever b d case... jamb don let person comit sucide 4 one article wey i read

Yeah..11th 194 ... I don't need them to add any "Fecking" mark I need a "Fecking" remark of my script + scholarship conpensation. Everything seemd funny to me since I saw my result even the guy dh commited suicide was funny. Cuz I knw what I deserve and so have no reason to be sad.

i wrote jamb 3 times the first one i studied very hard and got 170 the second one i studied very very hard and got 150 but the third one i did not read anything and i got 210

You didnt read and you got 200. People that read like there's no tomorrow scored -180. And you're here ona meaningless tirade. Na ur papa invent English ni? If to say you no book true true, you for don enter uni with ur last score na. Prolly your score was so bad even private unis had to reject you. Instead of you to be dancing, you're here saying crap. You smashed your phone on the wall, shey make we contribute buy another one for you ni, abi wetin concern us? Oponu oshi.

MzEspoir:
You didnt read and you got 200. People that read like there's no tomorrow scored -180. And you're here ona meaningless tirade. Na ur papa invent English ni?

Even if I didn't read, is it possible to have just 28 marks in English? Have you ever seen anyone with 28 marks in English? Last year I got 74. And I didn't read. Not even Forcados high school.

If to say you no book true true, you for don enter uni with ur last score na. Prolly your score was so bad even private unis had to reject you. Instead of you to be dancing, you're here saying crap. You smashed your phone on the wall, shey make we contribute buy another one for you ni, abi wetin concern us? Oponu oshi.

Feck! What the heck is wrong with this girl? Your blood is on fire. You need to chill.

I'm already in school, like I said. And btw, I got 268 last year.

Do you know that the end of high school denotes the beginning of your journey down the road of your educational career?Are you the type that develops incessant headaches when having a thought of what step to take next? Are you among the numerous number of candidates that have been denied admission in countless number of time?

IJMB is an A'level prog, it is run by Ahmadu Bello University in Zaria. It has an affliated centre in Ilorin. The prog is a sure way of proceeding into 200l in any university of ur choice without the hassles and the stress of UTME.

The prog last for only nine months.Deficiency in O’Level result is also not a problem as there are exams that can be enrolled for during the prog to complete it.

Please visit www.ijmbadmissions.org for more info or call 08068940428, 08189529845

Brezil:

Even if I didn't read, is it possible to have just 28 marks in English? Have you ever seen anyone with 28 marks in English? Last year I got 74. And I didn't read. Not even Forcados high school.



Feck! What the heck is wrong with this girl? Your blood is on fire. You need to chill.

I'm already in school, like I said. And btw, I got 268 last year.

What school are you in bro ?

jephri:

What school are you in bro ?

Madonna

Shey because you got 240,p.jamb will tell

glimpse33:
YOU DIDN'T READ

YOU FAILED.

SIMPLE

Brezil:

Even if I didn't read, is it possible to have just 28 marks in English? Have you ever seen anyone with 28 marks in English? Last year I got 74. And I didn't read. Not even Forcados high school.



Feck! What the heck is wrong with this girl? Your blood is on fire. You need to chill.

I'm already in school, like I said. And btw, I got 268 last year.

just because you scored 72 last year doesnt mean you will pass this year na. And people get f9 in english in o levels. So its not a new thing

I killed English, phy and biology die.. d idiots gave me 23 in English.. d shit is annoying. I was like "WTF is this naa"

NicestDude:

Really, 23? Or are u just being sarcastic

Brezil:

Really, 23? Or are u just being sarcastic

i thought u were joking when i first read the post, but now i think u ain't o...but don't want to conclude yet without being sure, Are You Fecking Joking or You Fecking Serious

Sexytemi:



i thought u were joking when i first read the post, but now i think u ain't o...but don't want to conclude yet without being sure, Are You Fecking Joking or You Fecking Serious

Lolz. I'm De Niro serious! Seems deadpan though.

Aw diz one take help man utd's FA cup replay against westham