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8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Toks2008(m): 9:43pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
[size=14pt]Malachi 2:16:“For I hate divorce!”says the Lord, the God of Israel.[/size] "I want a divorce" is a word that tend to be common when it seems one of the two married couple wants to opt out of an affair and it has become a regular lyrics in many homes but the question i tend to ask is this: Is divorce always the solution? Today i want us to look at 8 lies and propaganda surrounding these words: [size=13pt]1.Irreconcilable differences[/size]: This is the funniest excuse ever because most of what people complain about have always been there but because they believed he or she will change,they went into the marriage just to get disappointed when the person refuses to change. As long as you are two different entities,there will always be.Even twins from the same womb has differences.The problem is that when a couple decides to have a deaf and dumb affair,irreconcilable differences will never be reconciled but if you can learn to be very observant even before you say i do,i guess most irreconcilable differences would have been resolved. If you like change spouse a million times,there will always be irreconcilable differences and until you learn the act of tolerance i guess you should just stay clear from marriage. [size=13pt]2.Infidelity: [/size]I know many people will wonder if there is a lie about this but what you are about to read will shock you/ As a man i really don't see any need to divorce a "repentant" wife who commits the act of adultery especially a woman you love because of what use will it be if you divorce her against all odds and you bring in another woman who might even be worse than her and does it make sense to push a woman you love away into the waiting hands of an irresponsible randy man? Yes Jesus instructs that a man divorces his wife on teh condition of adultery but he also preached about forgiveness.The act of sex is not all there is to marriage so i guess guys should just give the wife another chance and only divorce an unrepentant adulteress. As a lady i am happy to be the one to tell you that there is no where in the bible that suggests that a wife divorce her husband because of adultery. Yes many bible scholars have accepted that the Bible is not gender specific and wherever "he" is mentioned,it also refers to she but definitely not in this case and i want us to read together right from the start of Jesus speech. Matthew 19:8 "8He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. 9“And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” [size=13pt]3.Ill luck: [/size] Some men can be so myopic. Yes we know this is a dark continent where crazy spells are casted on some men but most times,men are the architect of their own failure and they readily put the blame on the wife as the one responsible for their bad luck especially when the man seems to be doing so well before meeting the lady. This is indeed a very funny mindset and men should stop this odoriferous act. Even if you marry a witch or ogbanje,love and cherish her and she will use those powers to help you rather than destroy you. [size=13pt]4.Family troubles: [/size] I have heard of many divorce cases because of this and i kept asking why will a amn or woman use this as an excuse for divorce? In any marriage it is you and your spouse before anything and as long as both of you are good, every other factor remains secondary. [size=13pt]5.Interference by spiritualists: [/size] Any one who tries to divorce a spouse because one pastor said they are not meant for each other,such person should be sent to evil forest to be eaten by wild animals.Some ladies have fallen prey to many false prophets,imams and pastors in the name of seeking spiritual help where they are told rubbish about their spouse and they just believe like fools. They will suddenly tell you your wife is a witch or your hubby is evil and before you know it,they are done just to remarry and experience real evil marriage. [size=13pt]6.Childlessness[/size]:This is a very unfortunate one that has destroyed many marriages but the truth is that this is no longer a biggy in today's world but you should rather explore many options available and pray for finance or solicit for funds if needs be so that you can have a successful assisted conception rather than try another partner out of frustration and risking being the father of another man's child or the lady having an embarrassing child outside her marriage.With prayers and decisive steps by you,a child will definitely come in no time. [size=13pt]7.Finance[/size]:This is one big issue that has destroyed many homes and will destroy even more. Many ladies put money first before true affection and if the money is no more,apparently they have no need staying in the marriage anymore. And some go into marriage with high expectation that the man will make a headway within an expected period of time and as time passes and this expectation is not met,the lady becomes so frustrated and starts to hate the man and start comparing him with his rich mates even when he is so loving and caring. This has made me conclude that the best thing any lady can do to avoid this possible frustration is to love a man in a condition that will not frustrate her in years to come even if the man does not get better and they should also strive to be financially independent but pray for a better situation and not just marry a rich man or a struggling man with a die hard hope that he will make it big in no time. [size=13pt]8.Domestic violence[/size]:In my world,this is the only logical reason for divorce because i will never advice a lady or a man to stay in a marriage that may send him or her to an untimely death but let us wait a sec and ask this frank question:"Is domestic violence preventable"?in most cases the answer is an emphatic YES. Ladies are more at the receiving end but If every lady can learn to be very very calm and silent during any form of crazy argument by the man,i believe the case of domestic violence will not come up.Some women can make an angel beat them up with their parrot mouth but nevertheless no man should raise his hands to beat a woman except he is a beast that deserves to be in the jungle. I believe that in most cases when people opt for a divorce,they are actually looking for flimsy excuses to be with a new partner but after a period of time with the new partner, they tend to realize that there will always be a reason to divorce anyone we have in our lives no matter how perfect they seem to be at the begining. For people who insist on divorce i always wonder that If you can't make your first marriage work then what is the assurance that you will maintain the second one if same problem crops up? Staying married to one partner is not about feelings but a conscious decision we must make. Hope this epistle makes sense. 53 Likes 10 Shares |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by GJames(m): 9:48pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
I don't support divorce, but Toks get married first before you castigate divorcees If my wife commits adultry, I will forgive her, then send her packing. I should keep an Ogbanje as wife and show her love and she will bring us good fortunes. Quit reading fairytales Toks. You have created so many threads that made sense, but seriously I don't entirely agree with this piece 53 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Barezzi(m): 9:56pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
Too long! ![]() Summary dude... Edit: Okay, read abit... You need to add Financial Troubles Tis one of the leading cause of divorce in this indomie generation 3 Likes |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by ClassCaptain(m): 10:04pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
This is going to be a quite controversial topic but the fact that f |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Greene66: 10:08pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
Total nonsense. An adulterous wife should be divorced and even **** Yes! 9 Likes |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Fulaboy(m): 10:17pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
Too long Ain't even married sef ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Nobody: 10:24pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
Greene66:A question I have ![]() Should a adulterous husband be killed also 33 Likes |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Greene66: 10:29pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
KingCheezyPuff: Of course not. A man own the woman. The woman is his prop. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Specialbaby(f): 10:31pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
@toks2008 are you married?if yes,will you forgive a cheating partner? The bible said,divorce on the ground of infidelity is justified,stop misquoting the bible please!! 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Specialbaby(f): 10:32pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
Greene66:this is just crazy,a man own which woman?? 18 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Greene66: 10:38pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
Specialbaby: A man is the head. Yes. The man owns the woman. The man is in charge. He is the boss. The king. The everything. Live with that fact. Your husband own you. 16 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Toks2008(m): 10:39pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
Specialbaby: I am not married but if i am and my wife cheats on me and she is repentant i will forgive her for real. What sense will it make for me to drive my wife away to another man's hands? and what is the likelihood that the next woman will be that chaste? This is one fact many guys dont know. As for the quoted verse please reead again and you will see my points. 17 Likes |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Nobody: 10:41pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
Greene66: Greene66: ![]() 6 Likes |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Greene66: 10:42pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
KingCheezyPuff: Call it anything. It's the truth. 5 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Nobody: 10:44pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
Greene66:Lies you do tell.It's the farthest thing from it! 4 Likes |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Greene66: 10:48pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
KingCheezyPuff: Give me just 1 reason, why a wife is not owned by husband 5 Likes |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by kaziblake(f): 10:49pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
Greene66:I owe you two slaps. Remind me when I see you. 36 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Nobody: 10:52pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
Greene66:She a human being an try as many have you can't own a human ![]() Their partners,equals an belong ta each other. How can you not know this. ![]() 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Nobody: 10:54pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
1 Like |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by ronald4lif(m): 11:04pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
Wow. This is an interesting piece and very unlike the author. I must commend you for this balanced and brilliant write-up. The number 5 and 6 makes too much sense and those who have ears should hear. On a lighter note though, I don't think divorce is a bad thing as widely believed. When a couple has deep issues and all moves to reconcile their differences fails they should move on. But that doesn't mean they shouldn't put in their utmost best to amend things. I think that with the increasing lack of tolerance, impatience and avaricious nature of human's today, more marriages will keep collapsing. We're too self-centred and lacks perseverance unlike our parents and great grand parents who never even knew what divorce was. In today's world, little issues spring up and that might be the end of the marriage. 12 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Michellla(f): 11:07pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
Toks2008:you say that cause you've not been married before.its hard to forgive a cheating spouse. 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by nikkypearl(f): 11:10pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
Nice writeup ... But unfortunately,even couples with the best intentions still end up in divorce court!Divorce is suppose to be a last ditch decision for Troubled marriage.. Tthe fact is that once you begin to appreciate a reality different from your own,then you are on the way to de_escalating conflict and finding solutions 2 Likes |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Toks2008(m): 11:10pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
Michellla: I dont know how to explain this but i know what marriage is all about because i was technically married for 5 years but unfortunately i can't explain more than this. |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Toks2008(m): 11:13pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
ronald4lif: You have said it all. I honestly want to stop asking lalasticlala to see my threads anymore but some threads are worth sharing. |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Greene66: 11:17pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
KingCheezyPuff: Equals? After paying bride price? Excuse me 8 Likes |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Nobody: 11:22pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
Greene66:Even then! .....But I'm not Nigerian so the bride price thing I don't particularly get or care for. |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by ronald4lif(m): 11:24pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
Toks2008: This one is educative and FP worthy. He knows better and would do the right thing. |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Toks2008(m): 11:35pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
ronald4lif: I dont trust lalasticlala again. |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Specialbaby(f): 11:41pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
Toks2008:talk is easy but i will advice you not to say now until you are face with such,it a hard decision and until you get to the river you wouldnt know how to cross it! Forgiving a cheating partner is easier than forgetting a partner cheat and as long as such image stuck in the memory,things can never be same again!!! 3 Likes |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Holmes07(m): 11:52pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
Toks2008:In matt 5 vs 32 it says ''But i say unto u,dt whosoever shall put away his wife,saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery...'' The Biblical condition for divorce is ''fornication'',as confusing as it may sound a married fellow who cheats commits adultery nt fornication. So what the bible is trying to say is that ''what God has join together let no man put asunder'' and the only time they can go their separate ways is wen they're in courtship phase,that wen the issue of fornication comes in, when u notice ur partner who is cheating during courtship. One can also divorce nd remain unmarried. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Toks2008(m): 11:54pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
Specialbaby: I totally second your standview but we must start learning to adjust to this fact. look at this scenario..i have been with you for years and i have invested so much love ,time and resources then you got carried away for whatever reason and after you are found out you apologize. Does it make sense for me to drive you out against all odds? Except the man does not love the lady i guess it will make it easier for the guy but if you love a woman,you will certainly not want to send her out to the hands of one crazy slowpoke who will now calm down and really do her well..please does that make sense? Who knows if the new woman you now bring home is even worse than a female dog. An unrepentant adultress is very different from a strAyed one. 3 Likes |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Specialbaby(f): 12:01am On Mar 20, 2016 |
Toks2008:ok,i respect your stand and i really hope you will do as you just said if face with such!! But then again,ask yourself,will you ever trust your wife again even after forgiving her? TRUST is very delicate,onces broken,it very hard to regain,what is marriage without trust? 3 Likes |
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