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Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? - Romance (4) - Nairaland

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Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by Mosesoly(m): 10:56am On Mar 23, 2016
Op because you are HIV negative doesnt really mean you are safe for now,Because the disease has a 3months window period,this is when you will know if you are actually negative or not,So you just have to go for the confirmation after 3month to know your status,for your fiancee tell her not to see it as the end of life,she should get anti retroviral drugs and eat more of fruits,then she will leave like normal human being.
Op just thread carefully,use ur rain coat if you feel like nearing her.
Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by modupewealth: 10:57am On Mar 23, 2016
GogetterMD:
Your sequence of events should go thus.
1. Repeat your screening in 3 months time
2. Like someone said, it wouldn't harm for her to repeat her test somewhere else
3. If you love her, marry her. There are a lot of serodiscordant couples out there(pne partner negative and the other positive), and they are able to keep it that way, even having kids.
4. Being positive is not the end of the world. You could live a near normal life provided you get quality care, which is provided almost for free in many states in the country.
u are soooo on point
Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by pek(m): 10:57am On Mar 23, 2016
Atlantian:
get are anti-retroviral drugs
Guess you are a Yoruba person. You wrote the word as you pronounce it.
Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by Emarc16(m): 10:58am On Mar 23, 2016
Pls take her to church e.g tb Joshua or my prophet Emmanuel makandiwa of Zimbabwe and the story will change..Shalom
Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by repogirl(f): 11:00am On Mar 23, 2016
OPOP,just to be double sure, you should also go on anti retrovirals for a month and then confirm at the end of three months if you are indeed safe.

As for her, it's good that you have decided to stand by her. Don't chicken out. HIV isn't the end of her existence. It doesn't change her life, she can still marry and have children and be anything she wants to be.
Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by Nelkoko: 11:00am On Mar 23, 2016
Make d doctor repeat d test
Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by Melkizedek(m): 11:01am On Mar 23, 2016
missyadorable:
Op,if you have ever had unprotected sex with her and tested negative doesn't mean you are indeed negative.Do a confirmatory test 3 months after...you could be in the window period.

Don't rejoice yet!

This is why God admonished us to stay from from fornication and adultery but people of the world will not agree
The risk associated with sexual immorality is not just worth the few minutes of pleasure, it is just not worth it! Well the deed is done, and none is perfect.
Op I'm not trying to rain on your parade but you have to go back in two months time for another test..
Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by octopusfreaky(f): 11:01am On Mar 23, 2016
So much discrimination here, Youths should learn to abstain from fornication cox when the chips are down ,the only shoulder to lean on is God ..

1 Like

Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by optional1(f): 11:01am On Mar 23, 2016
iSellUsedCars:
Fellow Nairalanders, my 22yr old fiance who came to my place just a day ago got a call from her family doctor that her attention was urgently needed prior to some tests that were conducted on her 2 days back. I had to tell her to go see her doctor immediately as it could be something very important, so she left.

She calls me up some hours later to tell me her doctor says she's HIV positive. My head spun and I started thinking of where I must had gotten it from! We've been intimately together for 4years, and we make love as often as we feel like although our busy schedule hasn't made us see for up to a month now.

As I got the news, I felt so restless and just had to go join her at the hospital so they could carry a test to confirm my status. It came out negative. I promised her to always be by her side and wouldn't leave her cos of the disease. I trust her a lot and I believe she must have contracted it through sharp objects her makeup business exposes her to like razor blades.

Dear nairalanders, I need your advice. It's 3am in the morning, and she's called thrice already; she's depressed and suicidal right now. Pls air your matured and helpful opinion. God bless you.
Guy she cheated on you not razor blade cut.



Move 4ward u cant marry her jor.

4 Likes

Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by AsYouSaid: 11:02am On Mar 23, 2016
Atlantian:
Hahaha there is 5 minutes test-kits in pharmacy everywhere though. Looks like pregnancy test-kit.
It's fresh, she'll probably need only antibiotics as simple as septrin and she'll never suffer any setback as having contracted the disease. Counselling and care is free at Lagos General Hospitals. Her CD4 count should be probably high, she can leave a normal live, bear children and wouldn't be a transmitter. Meet me up at Ijede Health Centre, Ikorodu or relate well with your doctor.
Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by 3rdlegxxx(m): 11:03am On Mar 23, 2016
Kbeaut:
Comfort her. Let her know that her illness doesn't define or change who she is. Not only that but it's 2016 & with the advances in medicine she can live a long normal life, so she shouldn't worry. & also you can take prep so you can still have sex but will NOT be affected. So there is nothing to worry about as long as you both are responsible. & most importantly let her know that your love for her will not change and you will get through this together. The most important part is for her to understand that having HIV doesn't make her any less than anyone else. We are all human, we all bleed the same. Even with HIV her blood is still the same color as yours, no?

Whaaaat!! like seriously babe, who are you and where did you get all that wisdom from? shocked shocked wow, loved your response, if 60% of Nigerians think like you and had the right attitude towards diseases, killing and more, this country will be a lot better. thumbs up dear, nice one

1 Like

Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by Akerekoroabijawara(m): 11:04am On Mar 23, 2016
If you truly love her marry her then adopt children and enjoy ur life with her using condom always God can heal her now.
Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by bayulll011(m): 11:05am On Mar 23, 2016
missbronze:
I am not HIV positive, but, if I happen to fall in love with a HIV positive man, believe me, I will gladly marry him.


Then, take your decision.

Best advice so far,if truly the girl is not a cheat and contracted it through sharp object,I see no reason why the girl to should be sentenced to life of injustice,those girls now adays are not to be trusted,u are the only matured lady that knows more about relationships,not all these kids on NL that cannot wash their pants or construct single sentence without grammatical blunder.nice one your fellower just increased by one
Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by Nobody: 11:06am On Mar 23, 2016
iSellUsedCars , she could be testing you. A lady has done such to me before....lol

1 Like

Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by 3rdlegxxx(m): 11:07am On Mar 23, 2016
agarawu23:
why did you quickly came into conclusion that was where she contacted it from ? [size=15pt]do not trust ladies[/size], its one of the 10 commandment but God forget to put am.

Questions for u.
1. Since both of you have been together for 4 years, have u guys been having sex without or with protection ? I know the answer already and that made u rushed to the hospital to know your status.

2. When did she join the make up business? , is it after you guys didn't meet close to a months cos that space might be little but unexpected things can happen between that period. Who knows if she had a quickie with another guy lipsrsealed

3. Do u ever think this might even be a 'test' from her. Cos I respect her boldness for telling u the real result of her HIV test. Is the doctor yours or hers?

4. Can you marry a HIV positive lady?

You still need to go for another HIV test weeks later to be sure you are negative abi you no nack her after you guys haven't seen each other close to month?

HIV/AIDS is real. Always use CONDOM, e no cost na #50

Mr agaruwa abi wetin be your name, u sure say u dey ok so angry na baba God u dey talk say forget to add 'don't trust ladies' guy no let me sama u slap on behalf of bros j (jesus) ooo grin grin
Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by Mike008(m): 11:08am On Mar 23, 2016
Propose to her.
Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by Nobody: 11:09am On Mar 23, 2016
.....and to all y'all saying "she probably contracted it through sharp objects", plus the op, I'm amazed at your dumbness. I know it's quite possible but stop giving hoes the escape route without first ascertaining she didn't get it through sexual activities. Smh

2 Likes

Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by Melkizedek(m): 11:10am On Mar 23, 2016
Barayeks:
the chances of getting HIV from a sharp object is highly negligible.... except the sharp object in her case is a deeek... You better go to church and shout 70 hallelujah to God for saving your life.
There is always one crazy moniker lurking around with a hilarious post in the bag.. grin
Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by HRich(m): 11:11am On Mar 23, 2016
Lexusgs430:


Where would you usually wear a condom and for what activities do normal people use or wear a condom?
We are saying the same thing. I don't know the position of which you want him to wear a condom before asking to know what is truth.
Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by 3rdlegxxx(m): 11:11am On Mar 23, 2016
refiner:
so sad!


op pls do be careful!...aids no be beans ooo






my fellow youths pls do stay away from premarital sex!...d demerit outweighs d merit!

babe he said HIV not AIDS, 2 very different things, a person can have hiv and with the right drugs live a healthy life for 20, 30 or 40 years but AIDS is the advanced stage where, once anyone gets to that stage, it's only a matter of months if not weeks
Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by freeage7(m): 11:12am On Mar 23, 2016
In all honesty I do not think it is wise to bring a critical and sensitive issue like this to the forum.

2 Likes

Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by pre88: 11:12am On Mar 23, 2016
I'm into HTC and currently doing free Testing and Counseling in Abj. If u luv her, go ahead and marry her. If you encourage her to take her drug which is free, u guys can have children that are negative. You are not the first person in such condition. we know of a couple in your condition and they went ahead to marry, now they have two children, the children are negative and the husband is still negative.

2 Likes

Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by cr7lomo: 11:12am On Mar 23, 2016
Rub away from her... 4k luv , cos she will do same ... Women are naturally selfish and wicked... She wud hv dumped you and accused u of cheating on her, she wunt giv u a chance bliv me... As long as u are positive and she is negative, u will b dropped like a very hot plate

1 Like

Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by Totfulguy: 11:13am On Mar 23, 2016
menix:
OP, u need slap just i needed some years back..
She said she was HIV positive nd i was lost in love probably because i neva collect kpekus, had 2 days sleepless night because i wanted to convince myself to continue.

As i tell am my mind, she just dash me slap cry comot..

my advice; u know u cant marry her abii, just give her the support she needs now while preparing to take a long walk..

oga, u will be deceiving urself if u say u trust a gal in this 21st century, sharp object ko invisible needle nii......

He asked for mature advice. Not silly ranting.

1 Like

Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by Ayomidegbenga1(m): 11:13am On Mar 23, 2016
Are you mad?which kind question be this,You better Runnnnnnn Awayyyyyyyyyy!
Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by 3kay945(m): 11:13am On Mar 23, 2016
tayooluwole:
Don't dull

grin
That pic cracked me up
Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by Kgdavid(m): 11:14am On Mar 23, 2016
Snipes009:
.....and to all y'all saying "she probably contracted it through sharp objects", plus the op, I'm amazed at your dumbness. I know it's quite possible but stop giving hoes the escape route without first ascertaining she didn't get it through sexual activities. Smh

Actually unless you are actively using a blade to cut someone and then immediately cutting yourself, infection from sharp objects other than needles is highly unlikely. Highly. So that is just a story and she needs to tell the man the honest truth. HIV infection does not occur that easily.

HIV at the age of 22 tho?? dang!

3 Likes

Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by samsard(m): 11:15am On Mar 23, 2016
missyadorable:
Op,if you have ever had unprotected sex with her and tested negative doesn't mean you are indeed negative.Do a confirmatory test 3 months after...you could be in the window period.

Don't rejoice yet!

This is why God admonished us to stay from from fornication and adultery but people of the world will not agree
Yes, religious peeps again! why didn't he (god) talk about HIV in his holy book(s) & provide a cure instead of just giving a law against premarital sex (coz we know even married peeps can get HIV)? what about the millions that died in the dark ages from the black death plague (is it also coz of having premarital sex which god warned them against)? am guessing no, coz the bible was written by ignorant goat herders who knew zilch bout the universe.
Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by unite4real: 11:15am On Mar 23, 2016
missyadorable:
Op,if you have ever had unprotected sex with her and tested negative doesn't mean you are indeed negative.Do a confirmatory test 3 months after...you could be in the window period.

Don't rejoice yet!

This is why God admonished us to stay from from fornication and adultery but people of the world will not agree

But the OP was not rejoicing in any way. why talk like this. your advice was ok but that he should not rejoice yet was very unfair of you.

1 Like

Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by vislabraye(m): 11:16am On Mar 23, 2016
sben2308:
Am still lost cuz how could she and u not have wen u been intimate .I suggest u go to another clinic for test cuz there maybe a mix up along d way .It may be d doctor or nurse mistake .

Getting infection is a probability. It's possible he's negative.
Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by 3kay945(m): 11:16am On Mar 23, 2016
pre88:
I'm into HTC and currently doing free Testing and Counseling in Abj. If u luv her, go ahead and marry her. If you encourage her to take her drug which is free, u guys can have children that are negative. You are not the first person in such condition. we know of a couple in your condition and they went ahead to marry, now they have two children, the children are negative and the husband is still negative.

I just dey read your comment with smiling face
Re: Help! My Fiance Is HIV Positive, I'm Not; What Do I Do? by M4gunners: 11:17am On Mar 23, 2016
Sharp objects lol.

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