obiorathesubtle:
I've waited for sth like this..



Okay, here goes.. This girl yea.. We're cool n ish.. She's about 3years younger.. Buh our chat is mostly x-rated..


So one day, she says I should come over, I dress up, buy a stuffed dog, swallow my viagra.. Sachet of condoms in my rear pockets, check my breath, do some sit ups....


I get to her house all charged up and ready to _fuck her brains out.. Yea.. So I see her cousin with her(a boy).. They laughing and talking about nonsense, and my eyes twitching, steaming with anxiety and whatnot.. I give her the dog, she loves it, she hugs me.. I look at that ass and imagine all the good time I'm gonna have when her cousin leaves..


30minutes later and her cousin's still sitting on the couch telling bland annoying jokes.. Urrrghh.. I wish I had a gun!!.. Not too long after, he gets up and is about to leave.. And just as he steps outside the door.. You wouldn't believe it.. Her mother walks in.. Now I'm sweating more than when they told gandhi he about to die.

So her mum walks in.. I'm sitting like a good boy(lucky I wore jeans, covered my hard upstanding dick).. So, she introduces me to her mum as her senior in school(fair enough.. But I still get to suck your soft boobs and _fuck your wet vagina)..


So.. Her mum was looking at me different, like I'm some kinda bad boy.. Pfft.. So.. After much talk.. I'm feeling kinda uneasy.. I had to leave, find an alternative.. Cos the viagra aint smiling with me.. I bring out my wallet, so I can take out my transport fare back home.. The condom falls out on the ground.. ohgoodGod! The awkward silence was sth else.. I almost left the condom on the floor.. But I squat'd and picked my rubber up(like a boss) without looking at her mama's face..



I left, and ever since.. Stephanie has never talked to me.. Maybe her mum beat her.. Iono

NigerianScholar:

Abeg, weytin b d title of the film

zubby29:
hahahaha. u nearly killed me with laf

Michellla:
i hope not......we got four bulldogs though.beware

Four bulldogs? .. So you hate me this much?

iambibi:
Exactly...!!!!

kinglekan:



Four bulldogs? .. So you hate me this much?

ireneony:
mmm

kinglekan:

Four bulldogs? .. So you hate me this much?

they are trained.no worry _

tosyne2much:
Nearly every guy has at least once in his lifetime experienced a memorable awkward moment when he was brutally embarrassed for visiting a lady either by the lady's parents, her brothers, uncle or her boyfriend whom she never told you about.

*Let me share mine*

A few years ago, I was in a long distance relationship with a very pretty lady. After several months of regular chats, calls and SMSes; I planned on how to meet with my supposed girlfriend and of course, our wishes came to reality as I travelled down to meet with her.

She entertained me with pictures and we started discussing those nasty things we used to say on the phone and how we have both been fantasising about the day we will meet, make fun and perhaps, make love. We discussed at length and later ran out of gist after which I went to the bathroom to have my bath and she followed suite after I was done. (She lived in a self-contain apartment)

We further had a little gist, we became quiet and started looking at each other just like a puppy that has not been fed for days. That was when I knew it was time for the show to begin when someone knocked on the door. She headed towards the door and opened it and here came this young man of an average height, dark sinned and a bit mancho. He didn't greet me but as a perfect gentlemen, I greeted him but I noticed he didn't respond (whether you answer of not, na ur own wahala be that, I said to myself).

What I noticed was the sudden facial expression of contempt registered on his face and the first question he asked her was what I was doing in her room and I was like wtf !! "Shey dis one dey craze ni?, who be dis dog wey no get rope for neck?" Be like say this guy no know me, even Goodluck Ebele Jonathan no fit pursue me comot for here" .... I just throway face dey reply my BBM PINGs as I no kuku get business with am

When I got the greatest shock of my life was when she introduced me to him as an ex classmate way back in secondary school and that I only came to say hello to her and would be leaving soon.. The dude started shouting calling her all sort of names and demanded I leave the room before he's forced to do what would hurt me I couldn't just stand the humiliation and was forced to leave that night after which I passed the night in an uncompleted building.

She later called and start pleading that it was her uncle and that he had gone so I should return back. I got furious and heaped curses on her never to call me again..

I later deleted her number, blocked her on whatsapp and unfriend her on facebook.

I have never felt embarrassed like this in my life all because of punni

Guys, don't be shy, share that embarrassing moment of yours and spread the fun

BumBae:

U don pop person cherry yet u dey here dey play ..

Oya gerra out of here n go n get a chic god dammit .. Lekin.z 2 more weeks orelse u gotta do it fo me ..

Bumbae go easy on me nah

Chaiii two more weeks bah? With God all things are possible.

wristbangle:
Two years ago, similar experience happened to me when I paid a courtesy visit to my girlfriend who complained that I am not the caring type (hmm honestly women are complicated beings, this is someone I had to miss a job offer just to satisfy her selfish attention; chai lalasticlala can bear me witness that I have suffered in the hands of Women, he should push this article to FP so that guys can learn from my story )

BACK TO THE STORY

So eventually I visited her but the greatest shock of my life was when my girlfriend told me to hide in the roof because she claimed that the male visitor knocking @ her door is a cultist.

I had no choice than to give in to her advice. Apart from the fact that the roof terribly stained my shirt, rats, cockroaches and mosquitoes were busy making jest of me by romancing my body anyhow . Now the real shocker was when I peeped through the roof to view what was going on between the cult guy and my girlfriend, my eyes went red when I saw the guy giving my ex girlfriend doggy style intimacy.

I couldn't hold the heartbreak, deceit and tears rolling from my eyes and when I shouted "Tola has killed me oo". I fell from the roof, hit my head against the floor and fainted immediately. I woke up in the hospital when the doctor told me that I have been unconscious for several days.


Hmmm women!

@ ireneony and falconey, weldone oo

wristbangle:
Two years ago, similar experience happened to me when I paid a courtesy visit to my girlfriend who complained that I am not the caring type (hmm honestly women are complicated beings, this is someone I had to miss a job offer just to satisfy her selfish attention; chai lalasticlala can bear me witness that I have suffered in the hands of Women, he should push this article to FP so that guys can learn from my story )

BACK TO THE STORY

So eventually I visited her but the greatest shock of my life was when my girlfriend told me to hide in the roof because she claimed that the male visitor knocking @ her door is a cultist.

I had no choice than to give in to her advice. Apart from the fact that the roof terribly stained my shirt, rats, cockroaches and mosquitoes were busy making jest of me by romancing my body anyhow . Now the real shocker was when I peeped through the roof to view what was going on between the cult guy and my girlfriend, my eyes went red when I saw the guy giving my ex girlfriend doggy style intimacy.

I couldn't hold the heartbreak, deceit and tears rolling from my eyes and when I shouted "Tola has killed me oo". I fell from the roof, hit my head against the floor and fainted immediately. I woke up in the hospital when the doctor told me that I have been unconscious for several days.


Hmmm women!

@ ireneony and falconey, weldone oo

ireneony:
FTC

This Thread will not pass me by.
I know am not a guy. Abeg make una dash me like.

Let me share mine even though I'm not a guy.
There was this guy I love so much.
I have this feeling he was going to marry me.
He took me to his friend's birthday party.

In front of everyone in knelt down facing me, before he could utter any words, I jumped and screamed! Yes!!! I will marry you! Unknown to me , the reason he knelt down was that he was trying to lace his shoe. The next thing he said was babe what! I am not ready for marriage .

I was so embarrassed ...
Before I could face the audience, I woke up from my dream

wristbangle:
Two years ago, similar experience happened to me when I paid a courtesy visit to my girlfriend who complained that I am not the caring type (hmm honestly women are complicated beings, this is someone I had to miss a job offer just to satisfy her selfish attention; chai lalasticlala can bear me witness that I have suffered in the hands of Women, he should push this article to FP so that guys can learn from my story )

BACK TO THE STORY

So eventually I visited her but the greatest shock of my life was when my girlfriend told me to hide in the roof because she claimed that the male visitor knocking @ her door is a cultist.

I had no choice than to give in to her advice. Apart from the fact that the roof terribly stained my shirt, rats, cockroaches and mosquitoes were busy making jest of me by romancing my body anyhow . Now the real shocker was when I peeped through the roof to view what was going on between the cult guy and my girlfriend, my eyes went red when I saw the guy giving my ex girlfriend doggy style intimacy.

I couldn't hold the heartbreak, deceit and tears rolling from my eyes and when I shouted "Tola has killed me oo". I fell from the roof, hit my head against the floor and fainted immediately. I woke up in the hospital when the doctor told me that I have been unconscious for several days.


Hmmm women!

@ ireneony and falconey, weldone oo

Michellla:
they are trained.no worry _

Trained to come after me abi? I knew you never liked moi. But this, serving me as a meal to bulldogs is heartwrenching.

stanisbaratheon:



you went to a lady's house, hoping to spend the night without a contingency plan?? haba oga

Na wetin mess me up be that oooo

ireneony:
FTC

This Thread will not pass me by.
I know am not a guy. Abeg make una dash me like.

Let me share mine even though I'm not a guy.
There was this guy I love so much.
I have this feeling he was going to marry me.
He took me to his friend's birthday party.

In front of everyone in knelt down facing me, before he could utter any words, I jumped and screamed! Yes!!! I will marry you! Unknown to me , the reason he knelt down was that he was trying to lace his shoe. The next thing he said was babe what! I am not ready for marriage .

I was so embarrassed ...
Before I could face the audience, I woke up from my dream

wexyee:
hehehe sharp gurl.. I really like ur type. So hw we go do nah

ilyas26:

Liar, i've watched the film too, it's think like to man

FlawlessRebirth2:
chai

MAKA TALK MY EXPERIENCE.....


DER WAS THIS GUY I WAS DATING,,NA SO HE CARRY ME GO HIM HOUSE OOO...(,,HE CAME DOWN TO MY BASE FOR A PROJECT,)WE SAW AND STARTED DATING...NAZO I FOLLOW M GO HUZ OO,NA WE CUN DE HIM ROOM WE CUN DE TALK,SMALL TIN CUN LEAD TO ANODA,,,,,WE STARTED KISSING AND TOUCHING......AS I CUN SAY MK I GIVE M "head" AS I JUST DE ZIP M DOWN NA I JUST HEAE ONE VOICE SHOUT,,,,"EMMA,,,,WHO IS INSIDE THAT HOUSE WITH YOU?EMMA WHAT ARE YOU DOING?.....NAZO I SHOCK ASK M WHO DE TALK....HE TELL ME SAY HIM SISTER CUN VISIT....NA SO D WOMAN DE SHOUT MK HIM OPEN D DOOR....AS HE OPEN D DOOR NAZO SHE JUSR JUMP INSIDE DE ASK ME QUESTN.....MY DEAR WHY ARE U DRESSED LIKE THIS?(I WEAR SIGLET AND TROUSERS OO)....WHAT ARE U DOING IN MY BROTHERS HOUSE(THIS GUY S 26 FOR GODS SAKE...)NAZO ME I DE LOOK LIKE WHO LOST.....D GUY GOT ANGRY...CUN ASK ME MK I STAND UP MK HIM GO DROP ME....NAZO I CARRY MY SELF GO HUZ DAHT DAH





I WEEEE NEVER FORGET

ireneony:
im coming with mine. .right away.

open female edition, lets share me has too

wristbangle:
Two years ago, similar experience happened to me when I paid a courtesy visit to my girlfriend who complained that I am not the caring type (hmm honestly women are complicated beings, this is someone I had to miss a job offer just to satisfy her selfish attention; chai lalasticlala can bear me witness that I have suffered in the hands of Women, he should push this article to FP so that guys can learn from my story )

BACK TO THE STORY

So eventually I visited her but the greatest shock of my life was when my girlfriend told me to hide in the roof because she claimed that the male visitor knocking @ her door is a cultist.

I had no choice than to give in to her advice. Apart from the fact that the roof terribly stained my shirt, rats, cockroaches and mosquitoes were busy making jest of me by romancing my body anyhow . Now the real shocker was when I peeped through the roof to view what was going on between the cult guy and my girlfriend, my eyes went red when I saw the guy giving my ex girlfriend doggy style intimacy.

I couldn't hold the heartbreak, deceit and tears rolling from my eyes and when I shouted "Tola has killed me oo". I fell from the roof, hit my head against the floor and fainted immediately. I woke up in the hospital when the doctor told me that I have been unconscious for several days.


Hmmm women!

@ ireneony and falconey, weldone oo

Mprepz:

Guy Omo you just made my day! mek laugh no km kill me here

The thread funny die.. I just dey laf since ystdy

kinglekan:



Bumbae go easy on me nah

Chaiii two more weeks bah? With God all things are possible.

olayinkaayinde:
It was my first dating experience and I met this girl through an old secondary school mate. Her parents were so strick that I only met her once aside from the day I first saw her.
After several pestering and efforts, she finally invited me over to her house as she can't leave her house to anywhere under the strict supervision of her parents. Fast forward to the day I dress up nicely the best way I can't think of then and headed to her house the yawa con gas when I was about like 6 blocks away from her house, unknown to me that the girl is already waiting for me at a saloon as I was not supposed to go straight into her house, I stopped by under a tree and started re-dressing cleaning up my shoes, combing my bushy hair, clearing my throat and re-applying my perfume while the girl and her friends starred at me, I got the shock of my life when I called her and see her coming out of the shop right beside and I can even notice some of her Friends laughing having watched some episode of my first date drama.

Bwahahahahaha yeeepaaaa ! E go be like say make ground swallow you up