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Suicide On A Birthday! by endehT: 10:15pm On Apr 02, 2016 |
Hello all. Been a guest on NL for years,but based on recent happenings and goings-on in my life,I have decided to do a parting-shot-kinda note. Straight to the point! I lost my job with an MNC sometime in May 2015,due to 'restructuring'. Slightly before the down-sizing happened,I got a soft loan from one of the financial institutions,which I had been servicing monthly. Since May 2015,my life has NOT been the same. I Attended series of interviews,but nothing was forthcoming. Eventually,around September 2015, I got a job with a firm(with a staff strength of 4people). For the 3 months i worked,I was not paid a dime,as the CEO kept giving one excuse or the other,which meant I was transporting to n fro from the little proceeds from wife's income(seamstress),and the little hustlings i could get around. I have been doing some menial jobs since January 2016,but they haven't been able to take care of the family's pressing needs. I have a 2year old baby,and it's really been tough providing his needs. I go days without food,just to have enough to get baby's needs. All the while,the loan I was servicing had to stop,as there was no constant flow of income any longer,and the savings I had,had to go for rent,utility bills etc. Just today,I had an interview,and while I was there, my wife called me and told me my Creditors were at home,causing a scene within the compound(because I had not paid for 2months). This is coming on the heels of me, constantly keeping in touch and updating the account officer about my job status. I was disorientated and confused when my wife called to inform me. Got back home and met her(wife), crying and feeling highly downtrodden. I thought about the whole thing, and I could only think about Death as a succour. And Since my Birthday will be coming up in a few days,I have decided to end it all on that very day. I have never,until now felt this whole suicide urge come over me!!! It's a shame,' am aware, but I apologise to my wife,my family and most especially,my baby,for not waiting for him to know me proper,before I ended it. I always want the best for my family,and since I cannot provide it any further,I would rather do the honourable thing. I seek for God's forgiveness over my decision,sins and soul. Adieu |
Re: Suicide On A Birthday! by mysticgal(f): 10:22pm On Apr 02, 2016 |
Hey op, my heart goes out to you, but do you think committing suicide wouldn't make your wife cry and sad? Now a question I'll ask, is if you love your wife? because if you do, you'll rather fight life and smoothen the roughened edges and tops. Don't be a coward, if not for yourself, fight for that kid and his mother , knowing that, at least that there is a backbone, supporting and working for them. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Suicide On A Birthday! by Femich18(m): 10:26pm On Apr 02, 2016 |
Xo sorry about all that have happened. But to be frank with you killing yourself is not the solution. Why take a life that you can't create. FYI there are thousands of people are passing through hell and they have never for once have that kind of thought. Please we are all passing through ours, but the difference is that we are not giving up. Never give up in life and success will smile on you. Finally, Your baby needs you more than what you cant imagine and please keep the struggle on and definitely there will be light at the end of the tunnel. Shalom 2 Likes |
Re: Suicide On A Birthday! by endehT: 10:34pm On Apr 02, 2016 |
mysticgal: mysticgal: mysticgal: Thank you very much ma,but at age 34(in a few days), it really hurts to know i can't boast of 100NGN(one hundred) in my account!!! I really love my family,and would rather be dead than see them suffer for a day. I can't stand it. It gets really worse when people start distancing theirselves from you ,not picking up your calls etc,because they presume your calls come with a request. It is shameful and hurtful. I will rather be selfish,and end it all,than being 'generous',with nothing to show for it. Thanks once again ma. |
Re: Suicide On A Birthday! by endehT: 10:40pm On Apr 02, 2016 |
Femich18: Thank you very much sir. The truth is,certain things hurt more than a knife-cut. I have tried, reasoned and remained hopeful,but believe me,it gets really harder by the day. God knows i have done everything humanely possible(from my end),to end this strife,but NO,it's not working,the situation gets extremely critical by the hour. Thank you sir once again 1 Like |
Re: Suicide On A Birthday! by mysticgal(f): 10:43pm On Apr 02, 2016 |
endehT:Now op, what do you want, specifically, say it. 2 Likes |
Re: Suicide On A Birthday! by Femich18(m): 10:47pm On Apr 02, 2016 |
endehT:U welcome...Gods grace is sufficient for us |
Re: Suicide On A Birthday! by IdisuleOurOwn(m): 10:57pm On Apr 02, 2016 |
Hello! There are some certain things I'd need to know about you before I start, which are; where do you live? Your environment matters a lot in this case of yours. Talking about can't boast of 100 naira at the age of 32. Are you religious? Try visiting your pastor/ parish priest or Imam for advise/counselling? What are your qualifications? |
Re: Suicide On A Birthday! by endehT: 11:06pm On Apr 02, 2016 |
mysticgal: I just feel i have to end it all,and I feel my birthday would be a perfect time for such(shameful and painful tho')! |
Re: Suicide On A Birthday! by endehT: 11:12pm On Apr 02, 2016 |
IdisuleOurOwn: Thank you very much sir. I live in Lagos state,Egbeda precisely. I am a Christian. I am a graduate of Economics,and i have done some Courses,Trainings and Programs too. |
Re: Suicide On A Birthday! by akinloluwao: 11:20pm On Apr 02, 2016 |
You are a coward. You are not fit to be called a husband and a father. Now you want to commit suicide and leave your wife and son to face this situation alone? I am very sorry for you bro. Though times don't last, only tough people do. These challenges will soon pass away. Now you have to set your priorities right. Any time you have little challenges, face it like a man that you are. You are suppose to lighten the burden of your family, not to add more to their problems. Just talk to yourself and man up. You are coming out with testimonies. 8 Likes |
Re: Suicide On A Birthday! by Nobody: 11:21pm On Apr 02, 2016 |
Brother, my heart goes out to you. But...I feel what you propose to do is NOT going to make things easier for your young family. This is Nigeria, where creditors can chase your next of kin for a debt. Don't do this to your family, rom what you're proposing, there is no going back. Make a list of your immediate debts, in order of priority, and give the total. I am willing to help, and I'm sure the good people of Nairaland will chip in. Of course there will be some verification details to take care of, but first things first. 3 Likes |
Re: Suicide On A Birthday! by IdisuleOurOwn(m): 11:24pm On Apr 02, 2016 |
endehT: Don't tell you can't boast of #100 when they are menial works out there. Have you tried/try working as a labourer for a bricklayer? Just for the time been, to cater for your family. Have you seek for financial assistance from families and friends? Did you seek for advice from your pastor? 3 Likes |
Re: Suicide On A Birthday! by endehT: 11:44pm On Apr 02, 2016 |
akinloluwao: Thank you sir. But for me to have resolved to such, then it shows i have done and tried all that is possible from my end. I might sound like a coward,but really,I pray you don't experience anything of such,as you might have to re-define who a coward is. |
Re: Suicide On A Birthday! by akinloluwao: 11:51pm On Apr 02, 2016 |
endehT:I have experienced much more difficult situation. If I tell you my story you will cry on my behalf. Guess what? I came out stronger and better. I still have challenges here and there but my God is bigger than all my problems. I rather trust in Him. If u kill yourself now, will u also kill yourself when you get to hell? God forbid. Just be strong. You are coming out a better person. 3 Likes |
Re: Suicide On A Birthday! by endehT: 11:54pm On Apr 02, 2016 |
Siena: This just brought tears to my eyes. Sir, I am available for any form of verification to be done. May you find God's favour in all you lay your hands on sir. |
Re: Suicide On A Birthday! by endehT: 11:57pm On Apr 02, 2016 |
akinloluwao: God bless you sir and every other person that has shown concern in a way or the other on this particular issue. Thank you sir |
Re: Suicide On A Birthday! by Agbaletu: 11:58pm On Apr 02, 2016 |
I think it would have been better to seek help than to end your life. Ask for job Ask for your debt to be taken care of. Let me tell you this, if you end your life now God will not forgive you. Your wife will be in trouble and when your son grows up he will never forgives you. Your son will spit on your grave. 1 Like |
Re: Suicide On A Birthday! by Nobody: 11:59pm On Apr 02, 2016 |
endehT: Amen bro. |
Re: Suicide On A Birthday! by endehT: 12:13am On Apr 03, 2016 |
IdisuleOurOwn: Yes sir,I work(menial) at a construction site,somewhere around Seliat Bus/stop. I resume around 8am,and I leave 4/5pm sir. I lift Mixed cement and fetch water with the other construction workers. Even tho',the Site Engineer feels really awkward anytime he sees me on the site,with the pan on my head. What I get there is not enough to get food items,toiletries,utility bills etc(saving becomes a luxury),but it is way better than being at home all day,with bills mounting. My siblings are the 'don't worry,I will assist' kind. Same with my Pastor. But I really can't hasten or blame anybody for my woes or predicament! |
Re: Suicide On A Birthday! by endehT: 12:31am On Apr 03, 2016 |
Agbaletu: Thank you sir. I really appreciate you taking time out to chip in words of encouragement and advice. Between 1st January 2016 and 1st of April 2016,I had called and sought help from over 260 contacts,connections and acquaintances sir,and the responses have all been alike (No problem bro,I haven't forgotten you). I understand i might have to try harder,but sir,atimes,when there doesn't seem to be a glimmer of hope,then the only other option would be a permanent,lasting,rest! Thank you sir once again. I do appreciate you and every other person that has viewed,read,and contributed one way or the other. May you never have 'larger than life' issues. |
Re: Suicide On A Birthday! by Nobody: 1:52am On Apr 03, 2016 |
This is serious. You said you had sought help from over 260contacts on your phones,yet no good responses. It might sound funny,why not seek a spiritual help from your pastor,or Imam. And please don't commit suicide,suicide is for cowards. If you see,or hear other people's tribulation,you will thank God. Winners don't quit. |
Re: Suicide On A Birthday! by mysticgal(f): 6:28am On Apr 03, 2016 |
Op, please could you do as the Mr siena says, list your debts then total it, so that willing people could help |
Re: Suicide On A Birthday! by Nobody: 7:15am On Apr 03, 2016 |
I think there are some menial jobs that could fetch up to 3000-5000 Naira daily. I embarked on a project recently and I know how much I had paid the labourers. Don't be a coward by leaving your family to suffer, when you can still fix the problem. Forget the past glory, focus on fixing the present, for a better future. 2 Likes |
Re: Suicide On A Birthday! by Nobody: 7:29am On Apr 03, 2016 |
I am not the type that goes all spiritual but for this time, I will tell you to rely wholly on God.. Pray all you can, convert your starvation to fasting Death is not a sure way out.... Maybe it would have been more honorable if you cried out on NL for food or money than to say you want to attempt suicide... I have seen very rich men crash and very poor men grow so keep hope alive |
Re: Suicide On A Birthday! by LewsTherin: 7:32am On Apr 03, 2016 |
It's so sad how you have gone through so much pain and suffering with no help from anyone. It's so sad you have suffered so much that you think the only way is to end your life. It's so sad that you love your family so much and cannot provide for them. It's so sad you love your wife so much you want to condemn her to being a widow. It's so sad your family have refused to help you but will very easily condemn your wife to pain, shame and hopelessness with you dead. It's so sad you want to condemn your son to a life of abject poverty he may never get out of. It's so sad you want to remove any chance of your getting out of this mess by putting an end to it yourself. But ayway, it's even sadder that I don't really believe your story. |
Re: Suicide On A Birthday! by LeJeun3: 7:56am On Apr 03, 2016 |
Bro I greet you once again.... Suicide should never have crossed ur mind...... U think the people who don't care about you would suddenly start caring once you are gone?? Fallacy!! This is Lagos and I swear it to you, I hv been in worse straits than you.... Pick urself up!! Redeem ur thoughts and Mind!! And watch as help comes your way. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Suicide On A Birthday! by endehT: 8:07am On Apr 03, 2016 |
Yomieluv: Thank you sir for your time and words. |
Re: Suicide On A Birthday! by endehT: 8:10am On Apr 03, 2016 |
mysticgal: Thank you ma'am, will do just that in the course of the day. |
Re: Suicide On A Birthday! by endehT: 8:15am On Apr 03, 2016 |
GENIUS18: Thank you for the advice sir. I will look around for something better(perhaps),however,if that particular project is still on,then I wouldn't mind coming on board sir. Thank you sir |
Re: Suicide On A Birthday! by thorpido(m): 8:16am On Apr 03, 2016 |
endehT:If you are doing the bolded above,then you are not lazy but indeed you need help from what you have written. You are a family man and I understand how tough it can be.Nevertheless,suicide is not the solution.You will be passing the burden on your wife which will not be fair on her and your son. Siena has offered to help and i'm willing to contribute too and I'm sure there are others that will be willing to chip in something when your case is verified. You say you stay at Egbeda,that's along my path so I could check you out if you're ready. 1 Like |
Re: Suicide On A Birthday! by endehT: 8:25am On Apr 03, 2016 |
favoured234: Thank you very much ma'am for your words. The truth is,this was meant to be a note and not in any way written to draw sympathy nor empathy. However,the words,advice,suggestions and gestures i have seen so far,are way too moving and comforting. If it was about food and money alone,I would NEVER have had any suicidal thoughts running on my mind. But it's a whole lot more worse than those. Thanks once again for your suggestion. |
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