sundayslim:


Is he a Fulani herdsman?

Wow seriously? She's asking for advice and you come up with this dumb question only f00ls come up with? Is your head working?

@fulanigirl, sey munyal! It's always important to have patience as it is a virtue. As someone mentioned earlier, try to hit him up on video calls, smile demonstrate your charm and happiness. Talk in a positive manner. If he starts getting angry for no apparent reason, simply ask him why has his tone of voice changed towards you? No need for 2 people to get upset at one another, be the bigger person. Show that you are a mature lady and ready for marriage. Remember, you are no longer the "fulanigirl", you are now the "fulanilady".

layla129:
So, ayam a packet of salt??

Lmao

Like seriously is this the best you can do.

Josephamstrong1:
Sm1 said here, outta sight is outta mind.
R u dz crass? wat happens to absence makes d hrt grow fonder. Read my friend, read!
sm1 nided advice on hw to salvage a distance relatnshp and u're here blabbing coz u had a failed one or dat u ain't faithful coz of ya 6G conji level.
@Fulanigal, Trust, remove pride, stay humble and faithful. see, wen u're... show it. men don't joke wt Fidel women. even if he plays around wtout u kwin, he'll stl turn around. Communication, i said communication. discus and talk abt evrytn. Create d tym and plz, learn to say...I'M SORRY.
weda u're wrong or not. settle ya ish within 2days, don't use pride and don't let it linger. Then b busy too buh don't sleep off any day wtout chatting or callin' to say I LUV U.
Finally, kw ya man. Use ya instinct, ya God given to kw if dz guy is ryt for me, b sensitive enuf to kw him each tym u guys r together. b a fast learner.
Anybody can b in distance relationship... we dnt kw whr life is takin' us. u'll undastnd better wen u marry.

Layla129 has said it all....plz thread close!

Sure. It can't always go wrong for everyone

Fulaman198:
@fulanigirl, sey munyal! It's always important to have patience as it is a virtue. As someone mentioned earlier, try to hit him up on video calls, smile demonstrate your charm and happiness. Talk in a positive manner. If he starts getting angry for no apparent reason, simply ask him why has his tone of voice changed towards you? No need for 2 people to get upset at one another, be the bigger person. Show that you are a mature lady and ready for marriage. Remember, you are no longer the "fulanigirl", you are now the "fulanilady".

thanks for this thumbs up

park ur cloth go meet am there aimple

Candyaib17:
thanks for this thumbs up

Huh?

layla129:
It can be really frustrating and boring at a point i tell you but a distant relationship that survives only grows stronger. I'll share some of my personal tips from experience with you which has helped and is still keeping us going.
1. Visit each other; if you're lucky to be in the same country, visit each other. And if in different countries, still visit. Spend time and money on travels.

2. Video calls/ chats; being able to see each other regularly and talking about EVERYTHING develops intimacy. Send photos, take shots specifically for him.

3. Make an effort and be determined to make things work; if he's a very busy dude like mine, my sister you have to really try. U jst have to pin him down to get things sorted. The longer issues linger, the gap becomes wider.

4. Keep yourself busy; focus on your life too, develop yourself... apart from the personal benefits you gain from this, it tends to take your mind off the thoughts of him for a while. And i'm sure he'll even respect u more for that.

5. Set some rules; in my case, i made it a standard that we should never sleep over a disagreement. We must settle it before it before we both go to bed...i've gone to bed 3am on an occassion because we just had to straighten out things.
We know each other's schedule for the whole day

6.talk dirty to each other and be very romantic; you know what to do
Plus, tell him when you're angry or unhappy about anything because he is not with you physically to see your expressions.

These are the ones i remember for now, i hope they were helpful? Hang in there sis

.


As if u know what's on my mind. Am in it too right now. We spend at least two hours on day time call n at least three hours midnight call. We do all that it takes to get closer dou wide apart. Funniest thing is that she is a deeper life member bo talks dirty just to keep d relationship glowing.

layla129:
It can be really frustrating and boring at a point i tell you but a distant relationship that survives only grows stronger. I'll share some of my personal tips from experience with you which has helped and is still keeping us going.
1. Visit each other; if you're lucky to be in the same country, visit each other. And if in different countries, still visit. Spend time and money on travels.

2. Video calls/ chats; being able to see each other regularly and talking about EVERYTHING develops intimacy. Send photos, take shots specifically for him.

3. Make an effort and be determined to make things work; if he's a very busy dude like mine, my sister you have to really try. U jst have to pin him down to get things sorted. The longer issues linger, the gap becomes wider.

4. Keep yourself busy; focus on your life too, develop yourself... apart from the personal benefits you gain from this, it tends to take your mind off the thoughts of him for a while. And i'm sure he'll even respect u more for that.

5. Set some rules; in my case, i made it a standard that we should never sleep over a disagreement. We must settle it before it before we both go to bed...i've gone to bed 3am on an occassion because we just had to straighten out things.
We know each other's schedule for the whole day

6.talk dirty to each other and be very romantic; you know what to do
Plus, tell him when you're angry or unhappy about anything because he is not with you physically to see your expressions.

These are the ones i remember for now, i hope they were helpful? Hang in there sis

I love this. Cos most ladies don't give themselves good advice when it comes to relationships. Some would tell her to forget d guy as he would be somewhere chilling with another girl and all sort of that. But this girl just gave a sincere advice. Nice one

fartkay:
.


As if u know what's on my mind. Am in it too right now. We spend at least two hours on day time call n at least three hours midnight call. We do all that it takes to get closer dou wide apart. Funniest thing is that she is a deeper life member bo talks dirty just to keep d relationship glowing.

Lol

You need to change that your name because can never and will never pass God. It is an advice

MoneypassGod:
The bobo go dey where im dey dey bleep any how, u go dey there dey mumu urself. U think say body na firewood??

Krismart:
I love this. Cos most ladies don't give themselves good advice when it comes to relationships. Some would tell her to forget d guy as he would be somewhere chilling with another girl and all sort of that. But this girl just gave a sincere advice. Nice one

Thanks *taking a bow*

Rooneyboy:

Hahaha, this your question mark is cracking me up, chai, Nairaland Una go kee person with laugh, is like it was an off contribution from the dude.Lol

fulanigirl:


We were together for the first year but the second year has been long distance. He visits and he is in touch, it's when he's away we fight a lot.

i guess its coz u miss each other a lot

...do you trust him while he's away, does he trust you while he's away? that's where you should also look at

nuggarito:
Leave if you still can, once your very present self is not there, its nothing , just a waste of time and energy. I've being there.

what kind of senseless advice is dis one??

The simple truth is; whatever God had destined to happen will happen; Even if you are apart for ten years. Seeing each other daily for 8 years doesn't mean you'll end up getting married to each other. And a union that has focus/vision will look beyond whatever barrier(distance/misunderstanding/bad reports from haters, etc). Must you be canal to uphold a relationship; "talk dirty"? I've seen some senseless girls who had turned themselves into sex machine while trying to "satisfy" their men, with the view to keeping the relationship alive. And eventually they were dumped like a sac of dirts. Let me share my story at this junction;

By the grace of God, I met my jewel while she was about entering 100L(LAUTECH, Physiology). I finished from the same school(Accounting). It took me 6months to gain her love; I didn't give up because she got my attention with her virtues/inner beauty! We were used to each other because a day hardly went without seeing each other. I was ahead of her but took some semesters out from school, plus some flaws, so we eventually finished the same year. I'm sure you would ask; 100L ke? How did she cope with her studies? And even me? Well, that's where focus/vision comes in. By the mercy of God, she finished with a strong 2:1(one of the best in her dept) and I also finished with 2:1(but not as strong as hers)

We finished early last year and in May she had to travel. We didn't see each other till around October when she came for her clearance(2/3days). Then, she traveled to Kebbi for NYSC(October 23rd, stream 1). I was posted to Rivers stream 2. Honestly, I'll encourage you to develop yourself and get as many virtues as possible. Facial beauty can get you into a man's heart, but character/attitude/virtue will retain you therein. Let me come out straight to you here; it takes a man/woman who had decided to honor God with his/her life/body/time/future/heart(through the Help of His Spirit), to stay focused and keep the bed "undefiled". A good and precious lady don't have to maneuver/work herself into the man's heart. Even bad boys advised me never to let her go. She ad done several things for me and it becomes practically impossible for me to stop thinking about her. She's always fresh in my heart. A girl that fasted and prayed for me(on several occasions)to get closer to my creator? A girl that stood with me when it looked as if I can never become anything in life? A girl who turned working class down, because she had decided to give her heart to a guy who has no bearing? A girl who fed me for several semesters and gave me money on uncountable occasions? A girl who took breathtaking risks for me?

The question is; what will your man remember you for? Just your big breast/sexy boot? Do you know how many girls flaunt them around him? Is it the artificial face(bombarded with pancakes)? Is it different styles in bed that only 500H can give him where he is? Is it sexy voice that even an illiterate can give? Or has your physical beauty/stature or intelligence and family background getting into your head and making you pompous/heady? No sensible man(who are kings in the making) ever give their loyalty and life in to such "chicks". Rather, they give it to ladies who are fashioned after the manner of a palace. Ladies with womb(to take and conceive issues, without spreading it around), ladies with respect and dignity, ladies with inner beauty(that talks with wisdom). The little times we kissed each other, I forced her to do it. Since we started,even while I slept in her room(before I could get another place to stay) we never had sex. I was a bad guy and she knew, yet, she stood with me and insisted I was going to become a vessel in God's hand. To God be the Glory, I have decided completely for JESUS!

5. Set some rules; in my case, i made it a standard that we should never sleep over a disagreement. We must settle it before it before we both go to bed...i've gone to bed 3am on an occassion because we just had to straighten out things. We know each other's schedule for the whole day

I won't be surprised if 3 of the ladies here are seeing same man

First and most important thing, let trust be d foundation of d relationship. Even if u hear rumor abt him still trust him. And always tell him u miss him and wish to be with him. Find out time to visit him and treat him like a baby. And if u trully Luv him.... Dear pray for him it's ur responsible. No man is perfect BT u can make urs to be. Do nt back off cus d devil u kw is better than d angel u hv nt seen. My dear be wise. It's well with u.

MrHackmed1:
hmmmm, not always easy but seriously, first thing is trust yourself, then money is needed to sustain it because only best way is constant communication. And meaningful talks not boring talks oh!

Let me share my experience; back in 2013 September



She graduated last year, now serving and We got married last week Saturday and settled in Abuja

Congratulations and happy married life to you

EggovinMma:
.

My dear, it's like that.We fight like everyday, on phone, on air and in the sea.But man wey one marry you go marry you, just keep calling, send lovely message and once in a while intentionally make him angry, that shakes him up a little.



Like me, I can just wake up in the morning, and start like this,"so baby last you didn't bother to call me because you went to club, that ya penis wey no reach wetin dem fit add for 50 naira indomie as protein. ....."Fight don start be that.

Hahaha I'm trying to stop the fighting. That's funny though

fulanigirl:


Hahaha I'm trying to stop the fighting. That's funny though

It's not easy believe me.I have broken off mine several times than I can count because of the consistent fights.Its quite a challenge but I believe what will be will be.

Dyt:

I won't be surprised if 3 of the ladies here are seeing same man

Dyt, you no well o

BackOff:
Fulanigirl

I quite understand your current state.
However, I want to let you know that it is something that can be controlled.

One major reason why you both fight when apart is that one or both of you have trust issues. Believe me it can destroy any relationship (both long distance and close relationships).
If one keeps bringing in comments that tend to question the other's commitment, either the other is guilty or not, they'll find a way of exonerating themselves. It may be by just getting angry or doing some silly stuffs or even putting in some kind of provoking reply, and fight begins.

So what should you do?

1. Do you have defined purpose or goal concerning the relationship? Yes, I know you said you're both planning to get married. But is the purpose for your intended marriage clearly defined?

2. Is he trustworthy? Marriage is a long-term relationship. So you must at least be sure of certain traits in your would-be spouse; one of them is trust.

3. Are you trustworthy too? You can lie to everyone but you cannot lie to yourself.

4. Are you sure you are not the annoying one in the relationship? Check yourself very well to be sure. If you are, quickly make amends; that way, he'll see the changes in you and your relationship would have been saved.
If he's the annoying one, and you're sure the things you did at those times you've fought each other shouldn't have provoked him, then he needs special counseling.

If your purpose is clearly defined, both of you can find a way of trusting one another and fix the issue of asking needless annoying questions, it'll most probably work out for you two.

In long distance relationships, you must completely trust one another irrespective of what outsiders say.
So, stay if you can both trust each other and leave if one or both can't.

Add the things Layla said in the earlier post and you're good to go.


All the best dear.

PS: I'm also in a long distance relationship and this thing works irrespective of what majority might say; but it only works when both parties are committed to it.

All the best dear.

Thank you

Lexusgs430:


Since he moved away a year ago, how often do you see physically?
How often do you communicate on the phone and other communication platforms?
What do you usually fight about?

I've seen him twice. We talk every single day multiple times a day. We fight about silly things that always come down to misunderstanding and communication

ilawanson44:


Is fulanimafia your boyfriend?

If he is, call him on phone and shout "Sai Buhari" and he'll reply "Sai Baba" till next july!

Afterall buhari na una brother...can you now leave us alone?

Sometimes not saying anything is better than saying something

mikolo80:
what do you fight about?

Anything. I was rude, he's being mean etc. It's worse now because I'm very busy and he's not and he expects me to spend all my time on the phone with him like I used to. I work full time and I study full whereas he's not doing anything so he feels like I don't spend a lot of time with him and we are growing distant. We talk in the morning and at night. When I can I even call him during my lunch break but it's not really enough for him.

When he's angry about something that happened throughout his day he takes it out on me. I'm quite impatient and get offended and we fight instead of talking about it.

EggovinMma:
Or when I noticed he hasn't called me for hours like he use to,I will just naked,,place my phone on the floor and set the timer . Of course spread my legs apart, and send it to his whatsapp.




Believe me, the pings afterwards is legendary!
"Baby I'm harrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrd he would say.

All rants!! No substance.. You've become a woman without substance.. This is your life happening to you right now

layla129:

Thanks *taking a bow*

For your mind o

fulanigirl:


I've seen him twice. We talk every single day multiple times a day. We fight about silly things that always come down to misunderstanding and communication

MISUNDERSTANDING is a process, that should eventually lead to UNDERSTANDING!!!!
Communication skills is paramount, to overcome the communication impasse!!!

EggovinMma:


Dyt, you no well o

Yimu


But honestly that's a clear truth