Sorry to bother you all with my teenage drama but I really need help. I am the last child of my family, I'll be 18 this year, I live in South Africa, found your blog on Google search and I need some advice please.


I just concluded in my head and mind that I'm my mom's least favorite child. I know a lot of kids think this, and I might be overreacting but it's something that
has been a serious issue for me. I started noticing this different treatment from my siblings when I was 10. I always feel really worthless in my moms eyes and mind too.
So, my elder sister is 24 and very accomplished in life. She did excellently well in high school, was very popular, did loads of extracurricular activities, went and made a living for herself, and on top of it all she's absolutely gorgeous. She's basically every parents dream child or so I think.

Then there's my elder brother, who is also another dream child. He is very good looking, talented, got a scholarship to a prestigious university and now lives in the United States. He was bullied a bit when he was younger but my mom shut that down pretty quickly maybe because He was pretty much a child prodigy.
And then there's me. Clumsy, freckled, plain, "lumpy" as my mom always puts it,I score average marks in School, and overall I will assess myself as pretty underwhelming.

Just the way I look different physically and academically, I want to do something different, I don't want to go to university (or at least until I know what I want to do with my life for sure), I absolutely love children, so right now what I'm aiming for is to go volunteer to work with children in some underprivileged communities or work in an orphanage until I can figure out if I want to do something different butt my mom doesn't support that. she wants me to go to university, read Medicine or Engineering and follow in my two siblings footsteps. I understand that she might just be trying to do the best for me but it doesn't feel like it. It feels like she just wants another little prodigy to show off to the world and her loud circle of friends. I've tried to talk to her about favoring my sister and brother but whenever I try to bring the topic up she screams at me straight up and tells me that I'm lazy.

Lately my mom has been getting more and more harsh on me. Constantly saying I need to lose weight, that I'm too fat for my age. I'm 135 pounds and 5 foot 5. She says I'm lazy and constantly compares me to other more accomplished teenagers. I try my best at everything I do and yet it's never good enough. When I cook something, she'll find something wrong with it. When I clean up the house for her, she'll scream at me for something else. I have extra curricular activities 6 days a week including some weekends. Sunday is my only time to relax and socialize. She's started a new punishment system, for everything I get wrong she'll add 3 new chores to my already over loaded schedule and ban me from socializing until she's impressed at my actions. Currently I have to clean the whole house everyday on top of study time and after school activities. Just this morning she told me to write a two page essay from my English Language text on top of everything. When I asked her if I could hand it in tomorrow she told me to "stop being a lazy bitch". When I then said "Please mom, I'm only asking because I have a lot to do today and I;m pretty much exhausted" , she used the "F" yOU word, putting me down and making me feel like I'll never be good enough. I'm just a teenager for crying out loud.
I was once so motivated and happy about life, a bubbly young girl who loved life, and one day it just disappeared. I have no motivation to do anything anymore. I'm constantly tired and I've been getting sick a lot lately (my mom thinks I'm faking the ill health and still calls me lazy). She swears at me and tells me I look like a LovePeddler or a slut when I want to wear something that makes me feel good about myself or confident in my body. I've never been in a relationship and I'm terrified because of my mother.

I feel so tired and angry at my dad who sees all this happening and pretends he doesn't see just to not look for my loud mouthed mom's trouble. It's gotten to the point where I'm afraid to try anything new because I know (feel) I'll fail anyway. I read a few Nigerian blogs and can tell that Nigerian moms are very caring and kind, I just wish that for myself. I told my friends this but they didn't believe and thought I was making up the sentence. to make mom look bad but she actually says this to me ... Always says I'll never survive in the real world without her, that I'll always come back to her because I'll never be able to accomplish anything. I'm trying to be independent so that I can get away and far away from her , I've been saving whatever I can for the past one and half years and hopefully by the end of this year I'll have just enough to leave her home.

I have already worked out a financial plan and have found a suitable place to live in an affordable neighbourhood here in South Africa, I just need other people and other parents and mom's opinions on my decision. Am I overreacting? Is my plan to leave a stupid idea? If so do you have any other suggestions? I really need to be away from my mom and be truly happy in life. Thanks.

Source: http://www.wivestownhallconnection.com/2016/04/my-mom-prefers-my-siblings-and-she.html

Awwww

Cutehector:
Awwww

U read am finish?

ifex370:



U read am finish?

Yup. Any problem?

Cutehector:
Yup. Any problem?

No oo bros .. Notn

Thank God this ain't naija

Your idea isn't bad. It will give you peace of mind.if I were you, I will sit my are down and read to pass SAT. You could then apply to universities in the US. There you will find your passion, confidence and freedom.

U ain't overreacting... Evry1 has their path 2 create and follow, set ur priorities, and strive 2mk urself happy.. That she is ur mum doesn't mean she shud luv u.. Though it ought 2b so.. And again... Knw u ain't in COMPETITION with any1.It is well with u.

my dear, wotever u go tru in ur home will make u a better person, i will support u leave d house if dat will make them listen to u. some parents need such b4 they understand thier child.

.. Always says I'll never survive in the real world without her, that I'll always come back to her because I'll never be able to accomplish anything.
Source: http:/ and /www.wivestownhallconnection.com/2016/04/my-mom-prefers-my-siblings-and-she.html[/quote]


with this shows the kind of woman she is..

yes...leave her house and try to build your confidence back,your self worth and yourself esteem

you can't do this if u are surrounded by negative people.... people who do nofin but trying to bring you down.


I once had a boyfriend who told me that if I ever leave him,I will be a total failure.. that I am worthless, have nofin to offer(ingrate),nobody will accept me,that am ugly and just total failure.
I was scared because I tot everything he said abt me was true until we broke up.

guess wat....I have a lot of materials that I have written by myself...some come to me for advice and some look up to me now.

how? I decided and choose to surround myself with positive people.

all those things are temptation...u are a star,so don't let any one put you down.