I swore I won't post threads on this section no more, but like all resolutions I simply break them. Anyway this is an exception because I really need to say this.

This trend I have observed to be more prominent amongst the yoruba and least prominent amongst the Igbos.

A man decides he is tired of cooking, cleaning and sleeping alone on a cold bed, plus the first girl after a thousand that finally accepted to date him because her personal crush is dulling. The next thing you see would be pictures on nairaland front page of the mumu proposing and because marriage is pretty cheap for them. You see them married and In the no distant future, a thread like the rubbish on the front page "I think my wife is cheating on me".

How won't she cheat on you when you used a girl who was supposed to be a girlfriend for an exalted position of wife. How won't he keeping malice and having insecurities when you picked a boy instead of a man for the exalted position of husband. Shey una think say God is crazy when the bible said a man shall live his family and become one with a woman. He never said a boy nor did he say a girl.

How could you be married to a girl who has not shown loyalty to you, proved her loyalty to you, demonstrated her submission to you and above all stuck with you in ups and downs.

How could you marry a man who has not proven his loyalty to you, proven capability to handle manly affairs, proven capability to be unshakeable amidst fear as well as ability to be family oriented.

In the quest for Nigerians to copy everything western, we leave and ignore the engine of a vehicle and purchase based on the beauty of the outside body. Yet we forget na the engine go keep the vehicle moving for life and the body must fade.

You use a girl who ordinarily should have remained a gf, who ordinarily should have been a phase to be forgotten, you go on and wed her. Because you have been made a pussy who listens to all the nonsense women say about owing marriage to a lady because you slept with her. I doubt you are surprised now she keeps her phone secret and you wondering where to find the guts to demand loyalty.

Boys aren't meant to marry, they are meant to hustle, many girls aren't mean to be ur wife, they are meant for our girlfriends. Why not wait till you grow into a man before marrying, why not wait till the boy you are dating becomes a man before marriage. Why not wait till you both have decided that above the love that exist amongst urself that loyalty surpasses.

Loyalty is a preserve of the mature and ready, even the mature and ready struggle at it, talk less the boy - husband or the our - wife - who - should - have - just - been- girlfriend.
.
Stop marrying women you are supposed to date/ court first to determine their loyalty and compatibility, stop saying yes to those small boys who wanna be romantic like the movies the watched yester night and thus feel marriage is an achievement.

Loyalty is that which stops a man or woman even though tempted from cheating on their spouse or from being uncaring and callous to their spouses.

Cheers.

Nice one

A very nice one eddy..


God wasn't so foolish when he wrote, he who finds a wife, finds a good thing..

Of course he knew wife materials are scarce, hence the "good thing"

Nice one

Cutehector:
A very nice one eddy..
God wasn't so foolish when he wrote, he who finds a wife, finds a good thing..
Of course he knew wife materials are scarce, hence the "good thing"

Both are scarce. Good husbands and wives. Don't make it look like every husband is a good one but good women are scarce. The Bible times women we're treated like scum. Wives could be married in dozen, chased out at will and treated anyhow. thus God was telling the people to treat their wives well ESP If she is good to you. Thus it said he that findeth A WIFE finds a good thing and obtains Gods favour. Those days, there were no boyfriend/girl friend so, the bible wasnt looking at things the way we see it now.
Wife was wife and they should be considered a good thing and a blessing and should be treated well.Some qualities of good wives we're even listed and the worth of such a good woman was said to be far above rubbies. Back in Biblical times women we're the yes sir yes sir kind. A good wife was one who even married a man that let's her explore her strength and make things happen without him being jealous. A good wife will never be productive being married to a bad husband who will frown and chase her out should she decide to build a house or buy a car or get more income from her business than her husband. A good wife has to marry the right man for her star to shine in peace and harmony. Just as in Islam men are asked to treat their daughters well and they will get really blessed for raising them well. because in their time, daughters we're considered a burden and worthless Hence the admonishment.

Good

Nice one.
This even got more complicated with d baby mama thing.
Marriage requires all round maturity. Physical, mental, pschological, emotional, financial, spiritual etc. It isn't meant 4 boys nd girls.
Nice point

delishpot:
Nice one







Both are scarce. Good husbands and wives. Don't make it look like every husband is a good one but good women are scarce. The Bible times women we're treated like scum thus God was telling the people to treat their wives well ESP If she is good to you. Thus it said he that findeth a good wife found a good thing and obtains Gods favour. Just as in Islam men are asked to treat their daughters well and they will get really blessed for raising them well. because in their time, daughters we're considered a burden and worthless Hence the admonishment.

you are hundred percent right delishpot. I agree with u

Cutehector:
A very nice one eddy..


God wasn't so foolish when he wrote, he who finds a wife, finds a good thing..

Of course he knew wife materials are scarce, hence the "good thing"

Some people are too lazy to search.

You see people marrying the man or woman they met in the city without investigating the person'st life and family background then when poor happens they will scream hoes ain't loyal/men ae dogs.

The funniest are those who pray God to give them their Mr. or Miss right. Yea! God will help in your search but what effort are you putting in?

I call it indomie generation marriage. The loudness of their proposals sef go tell you the decibel of their complaints when dem marry finally. Very fake purposeless marriage

OP you raised important points often times most boys think being a man is by age and some girls feel I just want to marry at a particular age not thinking about life after marriage.

What can I say, me sef never marry. So I can't talk about why people end up in such married cos I haven't being there.

Until then, make I da gather sense more more.

Tallesty1:
Some people are too lazy to search

I am searching, they are tagging me woman wrapper.


Men don't wish to be tagged woman wrapper tallesty

Cutehector:
I am searching, they are tagging me woman wrapper.


Men don't wish to be tagged woman wrapper tallesty

Your own dey different oga.

.

Guy i agree with u on this one,some guys wil strugle trying to make money while d girl wil be doing olosho up and down from one alaji to another politician,at the end of the day the olosho wil retire at the strugling guy house and be eating the guy money as her pention all in the name of mariage,even with that she wil stil cary out her legendary work,now as an ambasador.men wise up

Tallesty1:
Your own dey different oga.

hw my own take ddey different? Eh..no b u wey yarn say dem neva search well? Ehh?


Man has to go out there and look for his wife! And dat is what I am doing.. it's very legal.. and christain!

Love is the least thing needed in a relationship. Relationship demand regards from both partners.

''Treat me how u wanna be treated'' thats d scope

Cutehector:
hw my own take ddey different? Eh..no b u wey yarn say dem neva search well? Ehh?


Man has to go out there and look for his wife! And dat is what I am doing.. it's very legal.. and christain!

My mind dey tell em say nah free meal you dey search for.

Calebosko:
Guy i agree with u on this one,some guys wil strugle trying to make money while d girl wil be doing olosho up and down from one alaji to another politician,at the end of the day the olosho wil retire at the strugling guy house and be eating the guy money as her pention all in the name of mariage,even with that she wil stil cary out her legendary work,now as an ambasador.men wise up

Na this one tire me pass

It's just unfair to the guys

emperorchedda:
Na this one tire me pass
It's just unfair to the guys

sure,but guys need to wise up

It is Juvenile thinking, parochial ideology and to say the least comical that a man would come to NL seeking for advice on how to get his wife's phone to ascertain whether she's cheating or not.

@OP, you're spot on, a man who can't demand loyalty from his wife, I wonder.

Na love de shack am, I fear insecurity doesn't get the best of him.
Saw one trending topic which read "a guy who can't give you 50k every week to make your hair, is that one a boyfriend at all"
That's 100k in a month and 1.2m in a year.
Let's calculate her life span and see if it's worth that much. Tomorrow person go carry that one put for house cos they you enter the ultra sensitive area, therefore you forget your sense inside. God punish satan

Thank you for this wonderful piece. Five(5) gbosa for you jhor.

Tallesty1:
My mind dey tell em say nah free meal you dey search for.

my brother, na wife I dey find... take it or leave it

Well op


Marriage is a really big issue very sensitive its the begining of every unit of life a marriage affects a home ,
A home affects d environment, the environment affects the society the society affects the economy as a whole.

well it all depends so i will really want to bring up an amazing kids with an amazing life.


Back to the topic marrying someone is so sensitive some people has abused marriage people made marriage d difficult institution i swear nd it has affected d whole economy world wide why will u marry someone and not be sensible enough to b loyal about d submission part it all depends on d outcome of d man * you cant belittle me hurt me physically nd so on* nd u demand submission all i will giv is respect not submission .

Before u marry kno urself ryt now i kno all my flaws dats all dat matters

Cutehector:
A very nice one eddy..

God wasn't so foolish when he wrote, he who finds a wife, finds a good thing..
Of course he knew wife materials are scarce, hence the "good thing"

So true ...

The institution of marriage was established by Almighty...Gen 2:18 and until mortal beings (Man) accepts and understands this very concept adequately...marital issues will continue to fall apart especially when couples venture into the stage of marital turbulence and challenges...here comes in d issue of ur topic...Societal pressure Social media and modern world has painted the institution of marriage in a very wrong view...and this has unfortunately bastardized marital issues...little wonder rate of divorce is growing exponentially...

Hmmm mm

This is where we get it wrong,thinking that age has to do with loyalty and submission to an average extent,lots of men and ladies who look and act responsible are not who they pose to be. Getting married young doesn't mean you won't be able to handle it,and marrying a 45yrs old man won't guarantee his loyalty and respect for you.

Couples to be should court well,know each others flaws,take corrective measures where necessary,leave tedious ones and adapt and lastly,decide to stay or leave. When both parties work towards this,its gonna be gr8. If one isn't Cooperating,issues upon issues will keep arising.

Some people miss their real spouses because they are not ready for any emotional commitment, past broken relationships or even because of the hottest girl/dude around.

it was a nice threas until you added tribal stuff to it.