Stats: 3,187,073 members, 7,931,691 topics. Date: Monday, 26 August 2024 at 10:48 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. (33137 Views)
Avoidable Things Couples Do Which Lead To Divorce / Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision / "My Husband Uses ‘Aboniki’ Balm As Lubricant" – Woman Files For Divorce (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (Reply) (Go Down)
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by akike: 9:10pm On Apr 09, 2016 |
seaga: Actually culture is dynamic. people can insult the whites from morning till night. The ere are something you can or still can't do Culture/Tradition is not set in stone. if i decide that my family eats just oats in the morning...it is a form of tradition There is no reason whatsoever why they can't eat a proper sandwich That is exactly why I have issues with you. You want to apply logic when it comes to bride price, but washing your underwear, mbanu ![]() 1 Like |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by akike: 9:12pm On Apr 09, 2016 |
Fanirandele: Some of them are just stvpid. i agree with them ![]() men can cheat but women have to do it secretly ![]() You will be nagged for cheating but the wife would continue to live in peace until she is caught with a BIG IF 1 Like |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by seaga: 9:16pm On Apr 09, 2016 |
Fanirandele: I am also yoruba,so tell me is money the only form of payment?Now tell me were any form of items received for whatever reason if yes,that means trade by barter was the order. Unless you want to tell me there wasn't any form of exchange but given out on a platter of Gold |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Fanirandele: 9:17pm On Apr 09, 2016 |
seaga: Gifts were exchanged by both families so no one can say they bought anyone. Both families gave equal gifts and as they wished . Marriage is about 2 adults deciding to spend their lives together and not exchanging your child for material goods 1 Like |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Fanirandele: 9:21pm On Apr 09, 2016 |
akike: I just laugh at Nigerian women. The married women in more office are most notorious than the singles ones sef ![]() ![]() 1 Like |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by akike: 9:22pm On Apr 09, 2016 |
Fanirandele: I wouldn't have believed it if I didn't have a working mother and a school mother.....come and see stories Our men are men, strong men. ![]() |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Lecturebidz(m): 9:24pm On Apr 09, 2016 |
Toks2008: Don't make me cry....I forgave again & again & again but she didnt stop. Even after the 1st time,twas dead hard to trust her,,,well am single and sad but proud dat i cud breakup. Cheating happens 1s den 2ice bt wen u discover,its always de 1st tym. |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by seaga: 9:24pm On Apr 09, 2016 |
Fanirandele: Well you re not been quite honest ,because traditional marriage in this part of the world depicts a woman is handed over to the man. |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by akike: 9:25pm On Apr 09, 2016 |
Fanirandele: @seaga, even if they didn't exchange gifts Traditionally, the wife's family provide the food, venue etc ![]() |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Fanirandele: 9:26pm On Apr 09, 2016 |
seaga: I really understand don't how someone can tell me he knows better about my own experience than me ![]() |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by akike: 9:27pm On Apr 09, 2016 |
Toks2008:I like this new Toks2008 What changed? |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Bookiemart01(f): 9:28pm On Apr 09, 2016 |
Is a woman a piece of item that she should be owned? I laugh at boss. The bible said a man is the head and not a boss. A head without shoulder and other parts of the body is useless. Ask people who have successful marriages, they DO NOT boss their wives around. Boss kor, actor ni Greene66: |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Fanirandele: 9:30pm On Apr 09, 2016 |
akike: Lol Nigerian women have learnt the game from the men and overtaken them sef Sometimes fear catches me sef when I see some of th supposedly responsible married women's runs |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by seaga: 9:37pm On Apr 09, 2016 |
Fanirandele: Since you want to play coy,let's take it to the religious point of view. You believe in God and his words ?without arguing on his will ,even if unfavourably to your ideology ?if yes what does the bible say about union of a man and woman. |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by seaga: 9:45pm On Apr 09, 2016 |
akike: Yes that's norm for the bride''s family to host their guest who is paying enormous bride price.What is changing if to be noted is the groom to provide funds also to the bride''s family to assist with their responsibility of hosting. |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by akike: 9:49pm On Apr 09, 2016 |
seaga: In Yoruba land, you do not pay enormous bride price and you only bring the stuff on the D-day. that means if you do not meet up to the list, you are still going to get married. Bride price=resources for hosting the ceremony. I think that is as equal as it can get. |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Joy1706(f): 9:53pm On Apr 09, 2016 |
emperorchedda:Bride price is like 10 pence in my place. Is that enough to purchase a human being? My family also did their share. Infact in my place the Wife's family covers the traditional marriage expenses. Talking about bringing her to HIS house. What's that supposed to mean. Once we get married it becomes OUR HOUSE. Or would you agree to come live in my house so that I'd hear word? He feeds her with HIS money? Seriously? He doesn't eat himself? Was she starving before she married him? You know women work right? And they contribute to the running of the home. Abi ur still stuck in the 15th century? One reason why she isn't owned by the man eh? When you buy a slave, can the slave just up and leave at anytime and refuse to serve you? A wife can say she's not marrying again and you can't do jack about it. Number 2...... Your parents have spent so much on you... feeding, education, health bills, miscellaneous and you're not their property. Where do you get off calling a woman youve not spent half of what her parents spent on her your property? Men of these days are just daft 1 Like |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by seaga: 10:00pm On Apr 09, 2016 |
akike: So this is daretodiffer , if I had known wouldn't ve responded because you re.... as for the underwear i applied logic to that topic too,which you obviously didn't and still don't understand. She mentioned it for a reason. ...but like I said she was wasting her precious time because those who needed to learn from her humility are so lost. Adios |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by bigiyaro(m): 10:01pm On Apr 09, 2016 |
Specialbaby:d man owns the woman, he pays d dowry, she even has to change her name to his own. |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by DavidEsq(m): 10:04pm On Apr 09, 2016 |
GJames:I very much agree with u; especially "domestic violence". Toks, u call domestic violence an avoidable excuse for a divorce? One would have guessed that d angle u would pursue here is the fact of prior knowledge of a spouse's propensity for violence, which was disregarded by the oda spouse. Rather, blamed the woman for being the cause of her being battered. A woman may be terrible with her mouth but doesn't that make it incumbent on the men to develop or exercise a strong sense of self-control? Its unfortunate that a person who has earned so much accolade as u shld support the criminal by blaming d victim for d crime. Chai! ppl are rarely who they appear to be and you are a good example of this fact. 1 Like |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by seaga: 10:05pm On Apr 09, 2016 |
akike: Speaking of hosting a lot of groom still contributes to that and most time even pay for the venue, except in few cases the brides family is buoyant, even wedding gown who pays for it..besides hosting isn't a form of payment. You host guest irrespective |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Gaucho(m): 10:20pm On Apr 09, 2016 |
Been married for three years after courting for 22 years. We have two lively kids aged 10 and 8, a girl and boy respectively. Love my wife and our kids and ready to lay my life to protect them. Two years ago,she starting cheating with her boss in the office and I have this premonition and confronted her,but her constant denial wasnt going away. Last two months,caught her sexchatting with the same guy on phone and I know they have had sex series of times. She almost packed out but later forgave her,but before that time her mom knows about it and encouraged her because of what she is getting from them. Spiritual attack from left right and centre,but forgave her all the same because I love her and my kids. Not easy but God is God! 2 Likes |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by akike: 10:20pm On Apr 09, 2016 |
seaga: She mentioned to show that to tell us how she shows love. Ask yourself why would a woman who could afford the best washing machine, wash her husband's underwear...there are million ways to show love. She made her choice! She chose one that she could afford to do. Is it not the same topic that a married man claimed that she was lying and it was impossible? That is logic for you. You should take in all factors, every factor not just one! It is like telling me that Hilary Clinton stayed in her marriage because she cared for her husband. It does not make sense to wash it, but she did because of what..... But as for me, i can't. I will rather cook efo riro everyday to show love. ![]() All these humility, respect etc do not work for me because it works both ways. you respect one another, you are humble to one another, you love one another, you treat your partner the way you want to be treated. |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by akike: 10:22pm On Apr 09, 2016 |
seaga: That is iboland In Yoruba land, it is not. You contribute because you want to. I was hoping you would insist on not contributing because it is culture. Culture for you must be rigid because it is culture. No excuses! It is wrong to be flexible or considerate! |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by seaga: 10:30pm On Apr 09, 2016 |
akike: So the act in isolation of the public wasn't a show of love and respect, so had to wait so many years after to come to the public to show her love to her husband by telling us all.Damn it's worse than I thought. Just listen to yourself.I am not doing this with you ever again |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by akike: 10:32pm On Apr 09, 2016 |
seaga: Why would I go through that trouble with all the money? Listen to yourself! Clearly, it was a choice! Do you know that the prophet used to wash and mend his clothes himself? ![]() I think none of his wives loved him! ![]() |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by ourchoice(m): 10:51pm On Apr 09, 2016 |
Bookiemart01:Your question can best be answered by nature ![]() Nature bestowed in women, the responsibility to keep the world sexually sane and averagely populated just as nature uses natural disasters, pestilence, war, epidemic, etc to control earth's population despite man's advancement in medicine, peacekeeping, human right, environmental protection, etc. These things are beyond our human comprehension....we can't change some things....we can only live with it or die worrying ourselves.... As you grow up as a girl....naturally, you begin to develop breast, hips, etc and men start to admire you....make advances on you and as early as 10, most girls start to get boyfriend and even accept gifts and favors from the opposite sex while their male counterpart are neglected and only concentrate on their football and childsplay...the girl child already knows her sexuality...she already knows that brother Tunde likes her...she starts to feel like queen because she gets unnecessary attention and favor that her male age mates aren't getting....do the boys complain at those stage ![]() Now as years rolls by....the boys mature....they start to acquire the attributes the female gender admire - muscle, beard, expanded chest, material possession, money, popularity, academic wisdom, business success, smartness, etc, and ladies start to get attracted to them in numbers....their own time of life adventure begins while that of the girl child diminishes gradually....this thing is a natural course.... It is human's quest for equality that's making women to feel cheated....naturally, men are born polygamous...take it or leave it. You mentioned white men....now let me tell you what you don't know. White men are the same with black men in terms of polygamy and cheating...just that out of carelessness in the past decades, their forefathers made some laws out of sympathy to protect their daughters that makes them scared to cheat or practice polygamy in their country....fear of their law. But once these white men step out of their country and enter a more liberal country with lesser law against cheating, etc....they become dogs.....watch all the white men in Nigeria....I speak because I once worked with them and was so close to top class white men working here in Nigeria...who have also worked in Africa for decades.....and guess what ![]() These white men have more than 1 wife; some have one in Nigeria, Ghana...SA, Senegal, etc.....coupled with their uncountable number of concubines plus the call girls they call at will when they need a new girl to have fun with. So stop using white men as example of men that don't cheat....white men cheat more but fear of their law make them to pretend and hide it...and even travel outside their country to cheat. I speak from personal encounter, not hearsay. ![]() |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Izen: 12:11am On Apr 10, 2016 |
GJames: You can only send her packing if she didn't contribute to renting or building that house or else you must pay her back as she is packing out. |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Izen: 12:12am On Apr 10, 2016 |
Greene66: Christ owns me. I don't know what you're talking about. |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by ckc(m): 5:51am On Apr 10, 2016 |
Toks2008:Leave all this talk abeg! it is easier said than done when u r not married. |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Jetjacky(m): 7:03am On Apr 10, 2016 |
tooks2008 I'm copying this oh! Out of Nairaland. Love it and wana share ![]() |
Re: 8 avoidable excuses people use as reasons for divorce. by Nobody: 7:35am On Apr 10, 2016 |
seaga:Its not how a couples marry but what couples do after the wedding that leads to divorce. So I yes,It's the better. Are you feeling a bit national ![]() Because before you found out I was Afro American you sounded like you where for no bride price. In fact you posed the idea. |
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (Reply)
One Year On : Remembering The Footprints Of A Nairalander - Freeman David / An Awkward Moment At The Office Today / What's The Most Annoying Or Shocking Thing A Kid Has Ever Told You?
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 86 |