My wife is graduate not working,I have the opportunity of helping her get a job,but she will collect 2times my salary is it advisable,currently I'm on level 12 with the state govt,plz ur comments

nwanne mulukwa anya



na u know for urslf

There's absolutely nothing wrong with it..you are a govt worker and have job security...she's your wife and a part of u,get her the job...theres nothing to think about...

If u are enemy of progress 'No' but if are not Yes!

mayorkyzo:
There's absolutely nothing wrong with it..you are a govt worker and have job security...she's your wife and a part of u,get her the job...theres nothing to think about...

thanks for ur comment,my fear is that she might be disrespectful and become egocentric

victor2008:
My wife is graduate not working,I have the opportunity of helping her get a job,but she will collect 2times my salary is it advisable,currently I'm on level 12 with the state govt,plz ur comments

Are you for real So you would rather your wife stays at home instead of collecting a bigger salary

Wetin person no go read bikonu

victor2008:
My wife is graduate not working,I have the opportunity of helping her get a job,but she will collect 2times my salary is it advisable,currently I'm on level 12 with the state govt,plz ur comments

Go ahead and help her, she is your wife whom you married helping her with a job again means you have done alot for her and any responsible woman will always respect the type of husband you are! Including your in-laws, because its not easy to get a good job.

i will take the job and have her replace me, if possible. Otherwise i will let her take the job. But after much it makes no difference who earns more, it all comes back to the same house.

victor2008:

thanks for ur comment,my fear is that she might be disrespectful and become egocentric

yeah but she's your wife and you should know if she has the traits..yes,having more money might make her change,but it also depends on how you handle the situation...in all just get her the job and pray she doesn't change for th worse...wish you the best..

OP so people like you really exist? you won't ask this question if you knew who you married, why you married and what marriage is!

Denying your family of a better life because of your own selfishness and insecurity is not what any responsible family man will do. Can't believe some men reason like this .

Why don't you even get the job for her first lets see to what extent her egocentric and arrogance can go.
Or don't you want to know her other talents? ?
Do something scary try new sh!t

I honestly don't understand this question. Strife even in marriage? So people still reason like this in this time and age?

I don't know the kind of relationship that exist between the both of you but if it's the type there is in an ideal marriage, I think this shouldn't be a problem.

victor2008:

thanks for ur comment,my fear is that she might be disrespectful and become egocentric

Is that the kind of woman you married and she has shown you these traits or you are just fearful of the unknown and something she hasn't even done?

What is marriage?
Why are you married?
Who did you marry?
Who are you?

I dont even know what to say again
oga do what you like
your family, your marriage
I dont live with you

victor2008:

thanks for ur comment,my fear is that she might be disrespectful and become egocentric

You should know the kind of woman you married.
Get her the job.It's more income for the family.
When you get to the bridge,you will know how to cross it.

Please, for the sake of that poor woman, don't get her the job. Your thinking bespeaks of your prejudice against women who earn more than their husbands. This implies that if you get her that job, you would place her under intense, unbelievable pressure to say 'Yes' to you always. Even things she used to do before which were not regarded as disrespectful would begin to appear so.

Again, don't get her the job. If she gets a higher paying job on her own, fine; that way, your pressure and expectations from her would most likely be less.

Forgive me, but I feel sorry for her already, hence my appeal.

#saynototraditionalmen

Oboy eee

Choi! Person husband asking whether to help am, chai nwanne'm!

Poor woman.

Gaborone:
Please, for the sake of that poor woman, don't get her the job. Your thinking bespeaks of your prejudice against women who earn more than their husbands. This implies that if you get her that job, you would place her under intense, unbelievable pressure to say 'Yes' to you always. Even things she used to do before which were not regarded as disrespectful would begin to appear so.

Again, don't get her the job. If she gets a higher paying job on her own, fine; that way, your pressure and expectations from her would most likely be less.

Forgive me, but I feel sorry for her already, hence my appeal.

#saynototraditionalmen

why are you ranting.for the husband to ask this question means he know the kinda wife he married.the kinda woman that doesnt respect her husband at his low time..even for the husband asking this question means he needs re assurance that his wife wont disrespect him because of money.so advice is all he needs not your stupid ranting.let for some men,they wont even bother asking because they wont help their arrogant wife..

You feel sorry for her,why wont you when you keep telling her husband not to get her the job.enemy of progress oshi

Now now!! Are you seeing what I am seeing
A brother in this trying time is better off in penury than have his ego bruised.
A man who will jeopardize an eventual great income to his family because of a perceived fear of what may happen if his WIFE earns higher than him.

Young03:
nwanne mulukwa anya



na u know for urslf

mulukwa anya how?

Get her the job.
Do not be interested in whatever she is earning.
Infact never you mention her salary.
Continue to bring what you have been bringing to the table as if she were not working.
You will gain your integrity.
And there will be no "I provide everything in this family "talk from her.
Women are powerful...me inclusive ooo.

Handle this issue with great care.

If your woman is wise,she will contribute he quota to the family without been told.

Mind your salary...remember.
Do not talk about hers.
cheers mate!

You don't like your wife's progress? An opportunity for extra income for the family and you are debating,

The heart of man sha

Are you not ashamed to post this?

A woman somewhere will always earn more than you do whether you like it or not.

But I understand your thoughts. Not all men would honourably go to the market to buy food stuffs, while women like Omotola flaunt their curves around the globe and even brag about it in the media.

However, I believe you know the woman you marry, so act in the best interest of your family.

I am not surprised at OP's question. I had a similar experience with a married man.

I was teaching in a school immediately after NYSC and there was this computer teacher who is a married man. We were in the staff room one day when someone called him that there's a job somewhere but the clause is the person should not be more than 28 years.

He was 30 as at then,this man came to ask my colleague and I and we said give us the mail lets apply then I remembered his wife and I asked casually is your wife more than 28 years, he said no, I now said why not let her have the opportunity then he said you know women now once they start making money they will feel pompous and start behaving somehow.

I was shocked , the job pays 4times the peanuts all of us were earning and this guy can borrow money ehn(simply because the salary is not just enough for a family) His wife was a housewife with no business oo.
Now he saw an opportunity that will relieve your family just because of insecurity he let it slide.

OP the fact that you are even thinking about it says a lot. If it was the type of job, stress she will undergo, location of the office that you were thinking about its understandable. If it was a job that pays half your salary I guess you won't hesitate/think about it.

It is well ooo.


Now I understand the prayer they pray in my church "May you not marry your enemy"

byvan03:
OP so people like you really exists? you won't ask this question if you knew who you married, why you married and what marriage is!

Denying your family of a better life because of your own selfishness and insecurity is not what any responsible family man will do. Can't believe some men reason like this .

.CALM DOWN!!!! YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND THE CULTURE,RELIGION AND THE ORIENTATION HERE.IN THIS SOCIETY,A MAN IS RAISED AND NURTURED TO BE THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE EXCLUSIVELY.A WOMAN TOO IS RAISED AND TRAINED TO BE THE SECOND IN COMMAND TO THE MAN.
SO,IF A WOMAN WHO IS TRAINED TO BE IN SECOND POSITION FINDS HERSELF IN FIRST POSITION,SHE WILL SURELY REACT TO THE CHANGE JUST AS THE MAN TRAINED TO LORD IT OVER A WOMAN NOW SEES HIMSELF SECOND IN COMMAND FINANCIALLY TO A WOMAN WILL FEEL THREATENED.THESE FACTORS ARE THE THINGS THAT MADE THE MAN ASK THE QUESTION.IT HAPPENED IN MY OWN FAMILY TOO AND THE ISSUE IS STILL ON.ISSUES LIKE THESE IS A NON ISSUE IN WESTERN WORLD BECAUSE THEIR CULTURE LAY NO EMPHASY ON WHO BRINGS WHAT.MARRIAGE IS DELICATE.
I HAVE SEEN A WOMAN DROP A MAN BECAUSE THE MAN DOESNT ORDER HER ABOUT OR BEAT HER.YOU CAN IMAGINE THAT.
MY WIFES FRIEND TOLD HER SHE IS NOT GOING TO MARRY A MAN BECAUSE THE MAN LOOKS WEAK AND DOES CHALLENGE HER DECISION.YOU SEE LIFE.LOLSSS.THATS WHAT CULTURE CAN DO.

yetseyi:
I am not surprised at OP's question. I had a similar experience with a married man.

I was teaching in a school immediately after NYSC and there was this computer teacher who is a married man. We were in the staff room one day when someone called him that there's a job somewhere but the clause is the person should not be more than 28 years.

He was 30 as at then,this man came to ask my colleague and I and we said give us the mail lets apply then I remembered his wife and I asked casually is your wife more than 28 years, he said no, I now said why not let her have the opportunity then he said you know women now[b] once they start making money they will feel pompous and start behaving somehow. [/b]

I was shocked , the job pays 4times the peanuts all of us were earning and this guy can borrow money ehn(simply because the salary is not just enough for a family) His wife was a housewife with no business oo.
Now he saw an opportunity that will relieve your family just because of insecurity he let it slide.

OP the fact that you are even thinking about it says a lot. If it was the type of job, stress she will undergo, location of the office that you were thinking about its understandable. If it was a job that pays half your salary I guess you won't hesitate/think about it.

It is well ooo.


Now I understand the prayer they pray in my church "May you not marry your enemy"

MADAM,YOU HAVE NOT HANDLED THE ISSUE OF WHAT WOMEN DO ONCE THEY START HAVING MONEY MORE THAN THEIR HUBBIES.WE SHOULD ALSO CONSIDER THE TYPE OF CULTURE HERE.MEN IN AFRICA ARE BROUGHT UP TO BE THE HEAD IN ALL THINGS,SO THEY FEEL THREATENED WHEN THEY BECOME SUBORDINATES TO WOMEN.I SEE THESE HAPPENING IN MY OWN FAMILY TOO.MY DAD IS A TEACHER AND MY DADS UNCLE GAVE MY MUM A FEDERAL GOVERNMENT JOB.MY MUM HAS ALL THE MONEY AND AT A POINT SHE WAS LIKE THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY.SHE TRIED HER BEST ON US THE CHILDREN BUT WOMEN ARE WHAT THEY ARE.SHE OVERBLOWN IT AND IT BECAME A BIG ISSUE.HEADS OF BOTH FAMILIES HAD TO STEP IN.IF YOU ARE MARRIED,YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THESE THINGS.MEN AND WOMEN ARE NOT WIRED SAME WAY.
BUT IF NA ME HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY I WILL LET MY WOMAN KNOW.I ALWAYS TELL PEOPLE IF MY WIFE HAVE MONEY MORE THAN ME NA FAAJI OF MY LIFE.I GO DEY SPEND THE MONEY NI.KOKANYE!!!

omoiseselagba:
MADAM,YOU HAVE NOT HANDLED THE ISSUE OF WHAT WOMEN DO ONCE THEY START HAVING MONEY MORE THAN THEIR HUBBIES.WE SHOULD ALSO CONSIDER THE TYPE OF CULTURE HERE.MEN IN AFRICA ARE BROUGHT UP TO BE THE HEAD IN ALL THINGS,SO THEY FEEL THREATENED WHEN THEY BECOME SUBORDINATES TO WOMEN.I SEE THESE HAPPENING IN MY OWN FAMILY TOO.MY DAD IS A TEACHER AND MY DADS UNCLE GAVE MY MUM A FEDERAL GOVERNMENT JOB.MY MUM HAS ALL THE MONEY AND AT A POINT SHE WAS LIKE THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY.SHE TRIED HER BEST ON US THE CHILDREN BUT WOMEN ARE WHAT THEY ARE.SHE OVERBLOWN IT AND IT BECAME A BIG ISSUE.HEADS OF BOTH FAMILIES HAD TO STEP IN.IF YOU ARE MARRIED,YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THESE THINGS.MEN AND WOMEN ARE NOT WIRED SAME WAY.
BUT IF NA ME HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY I WILL LET MY WOMAN KNOW.I ALWAYS TELL PEOPLE IF MY WIFE HAVE MONEY MORE THAN ME NA FAAJI OF MY LIFE.I GO DEY SPEND THE MONEY NI.KOKANYE!!!

Why the capital letters?

For u to even ask this kinda question says a lot about the kinda person you're...Egocentric man Shior!!

omoiseselagba:
MADAM,YOU HAVE NOT HANDLED THE ISSUE OF WHAT WOMEN DO ONCE THEY START HAVING MONEY MORE THAN THEIR HUBBIES.WE SHOULD ALSO CONSIDER THE TYPE OF CULTURE HERE.MEN IN AFRICA ARE BROUGHT UP TO BE THE HEAD IN ALL THINGS,SO THEY FEEL THREATENED WHEN THEY BECOME SUBORDINATES TO WOMEN.I SEE THESE HAPPENING IN MY OWN FAMILY TOO.MY DAD IS A TEACHER AND MY DADS UNCLE GAVE MY MUM A FEDERAL GOVERNMENT JOB.MY MUM HAS ALL THE MONEY AND AT A POINT SHE WAS LIKE THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY.SHE TRIED HER BEST ON US THE CHILDREN BUT WOMEN ARE WHAT THEY ARE.SHE OVERBLOWN IT AND IT BECAME A BIG ISSUE.HEADS OF BOTH FAMILIES HAD TO STEP IN.IF YOU ARE MARRIED,YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THESE THINGS.MEN AND WOMEN ARE NOT WIRED SAME WAY.
BUT IF NA ME HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY I WILL LET MY WOMAN KNOW.I ALWAYS TELL PEOPLE IF MY WIFE HAVE MONEY MORE THAN ME NA FAAJI OF MY LIFE.I GO DEY SPEND THE MONEY NI.KOKANYE!!!

If you really look at the root source of the problem in your parents' marriage, you may discover it's not really your mum, but your dad!

A man who is used to being waited on hands and foot by a full time housewife may find it difficult to adjust to coming home to an empty dining table, because his wife is still at work or she just got back and too tired to head straight to the kitchen.

There is no reason why he shouldn't make adjustments since the core reason why he is being inconvenienced is to help relieve his financial burden!

Omotala recently got a huge backlash from the Nigerian Internet community because she said her husband goes to the market for her. I personally did not like the way she said it, but there is nothing absolutely wrong with a man going to the market. A typical Nigerian man will feel insulted if his wife even suggested he goes to the market. God forbid she earns more than him, she will be termed egoistic and proud!!!

What about personal preferences? He may be used to buying all 'Samsung' electronics because he's a big fan, even though your mum is not. So when your mum decides to buy herself a Water dispenser and goes for am 'LG' against his preferred 'Samsung', he may feel disrespected.

I still maintain that there is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman earning more than a man. It will definitely require a great adjustment from BOTH parties.

Men usually hold financially power over women like a bone over a dog . . . when the situation reverses, they get scared of retaliation for their previous actions!

There's no need to limit your family's finances for your own selfish insecurities!

Acidosis:
Are you not ashamed to post this?

A woman somewhere will always earn more than you do whether you like it or not.

But I understand your thoughts. Not all men would honourably go to the market to buy food stuffs, while women like Omotola flaunt their curves around the globe and even brag about it in the media.

However, I believe you know the woman you marry, so act in the best interest of your family.

Honestly, ever since the whole Omotala saga, my husband has refused to go to the market; something he used to enjoy doing. It all started when I had my first baby with no help/nanny, eventually the burden to going out to buy food items fell on him. Sooner or later he started enjoying it and I was so glad because I utterly detest shopping of any kind.

So anything household item/foodstuff shopping was being done by him, while I handled shopping for the kids, diapers, clothes, formula e.t.c.

Yesterday he managed to go buy some foodstuff, after I begged him for 2 full days, he came home to say everyone in the market was staring at him like I was 'sending him on an errand', the way Omotala does her husband!

I really wish this whole thing will end already . . . Nigerians and their judgmental nature!

Ujoan:


Honestly, ever since the whole Omotala saga, my husband has refused to go to the market; something he used to enjoy doing. It all started when I had my first baby with no help/nanny, eventually the burden to going out to buy food items fell on him. Sooner or later he started enjoying it and I was so glad because I utterly detest shopping of any kind.

So anything household item/foodstuff shopping was being done by him, while I handled shopping for the kids, diapers, clothes, formula e.t.c.

Yesterday he managed to go buy some foodstuff, after I begged him for 2 full days, he came home to say everyone in the market was staring at him like I was 'sending him on an errand', the way Omotala does her husband!

I really wish this whole thing will end already . . . Nigerians and their judgmental nature!

Wow! I feel your pain/concern ooo

Some men do this conveniently, but Omotola's views sound so appalling. I've listened to that interview were the statements were made, and all I saw was a sheer display of arrogance.

"I don't go to the market, because I can't"

Haba, more men would, in fact, withdraw from the market. I never knew women dislike shopping until recently. I think you can encourage hubby if you go along with him to pick the household needs. Think about the strange looks from everyone in the market

omoiseselagba:
.CALM DOWN!!!! YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND THE CULTURE,RELIGION AND THE ORIENTATION HERE.IN THIS SOCIETY,A MAN IS RAISED AND NURTURED TO BE THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE EXCLUSIVELY.A WOMAN TOO IS RAISED AND TRAINED TO BE THE SECOND IN COMMAND TO THE MAN.
SO,IF A WOMAN WHO IS TRAINED TO BE IN SECOND POSITION FINDS HERSELF IN FIRST POSITION,SHE WILL SURELY REACT TO THE CHANGE JUST AS THE MAN TRAINED TO LORD IT OVER A WOMAN NOW SEES HIMSELF SECOND IN COMMAND FINANCIALLY TO A WOMAN WILL FEEL THREATENED.THESE FACTORS ARE THE THINGS THAT MADE THE MAN ASK THE QUESTION.IT HAPPENED IN MY OWN FAMILY TOO AND THE ISSUE IS STILL ON.ISSUES LIKE THESE IS A NON ISSUE IN WESTERN WORLD BECAUSE THEIR CULTURE LAY NO EMPHASY ON WHO BRINGS WHAT.MARRIAGE IS DELICATE.
I HAVE SEEN A WOMAN DROP A MAN BECAUSE THE MAN DOESNT ORDER HER ABOUT OR BEAT HER.YOU CAN IMAGINE THAT.
MY WIFES FRIEND TOLD HER SHE IS NOT GOING TO MARRY A MAN BECAUSE THE MAN LOOKS WEAK AND DOES CHALLENGE HER DECISION.YOU SEE LIFE.LOLSSS.THATS WHAT CULTURE CAN DO.

After all said and done, if a man's worth in his family is based only on his ability to provide , then there is a problem. What happens if he can't provide at all? A man is worth much more that a Provider. As for the cultural illustration, is really to whom it may concern. Sure way to get headache is to try thinking about these shamelessly flawed cultures, then you hear the hammer men knocking your skull in .



Ser

When I got my dream job and showed my husband the packages that came with the job, my husband kept saying Alhamdulillah! Bolseas, you deserve it.

I had to take.over most of.the home expenses just because of.the way he reacted to my appointment.

Now he is out of.job, but I didn't make him feel it at all. Fortunately he has a cat fish farm he has been managing before he lost his job.

Op, why not give your wife the benefit of doubt. Like someone advised, continue carrying out your own.financial obligations, let her be the one to say, don't bother, I will handle most of them.

Best of luck.