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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Guys Who Married Single Mums: How Did You Convince Your Parents (3471 Views)
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Guys Who Married Single Mums: How Did You Convince Your Parents by opendo89: 2:47pm On Apr 24, 2016 |
Hello all. I have been dating this lady for a few months now. She crosses the t's an dots the i's of my ideal wife and we are very much in love with each other. I feel a lot happier and at peace when i'm with her. The only but is she has a little daughter who I have become fond of. The only problem now is: How do I convince my parents to buy into this idea of me marrying a single mum with little drama 1 Like |
Re: Guys Who Married Single Mums: How Did You Convince Your Parents by donfemo(m): 2:51pm On Apr 24, 2016 |
opendo89: The topic is quite confusing. It should be guys who marry single mums not single ladies. |
Re: Guys Who Married Single Mums: How Did You Convince Your Parents by opendo89: 2:57pm On Apr 24, 2016 |
donfemo:Corrected:- Lol, Guess I still see her more as a lady than a mum 1 Like |
Re: Guys Who Married Single Mums: How Did You Convince Your Parents by Nobody: 3:14pm On Apr 24, 2016 |
Mum: "Opendo hold ya ears!!... Hold eet well!!" "Opendo do you want to kill me before my time??" "Opendo why do you want to Disgrace mee??" "All the women in our Women's meeting wee say My son has been bewitched!!" "Opendo ooo.. Don't lemme hear Tis nonsense again o!" ![]() Expect something like tis first....so You won't be too suprised... BTW Ts really mostly your decision.... Whichever way you usually convince her on other things.... Do the same.... Try not to make it a big deal when you mention the daughter "Ah mummy... Your boy has seen the woman of his dreams o... Am ready to marry mummy" Mum:"Really? Wow!... Tell me about her!!" You: "Mummy, she's all I want.. Beautiful,nicebody,Respectful... Very humble... Easy to talk to... Her daughters name is *hope*...very cute girl, infact mummy I loVe her o... I will bring her officially to come see you" Mum:"wait!!.....She has a daughter?? Abeg I didn't hear you well" .... From here... Explain as calmly n matter-of-factly as possible.... Goodluck bro... Mums are always overprotective of their boys... ![]() #teamMummy'sboy ![]() 15 Likes |
Re: Guys Who Married Single Mums: How Did You Convince Your Parents by ifex370(m): 4:01pm On Apr 24, 2016 |
slyIsaac: Especially with other ladies |
Re: Guys Who Married Single Mums: How Did You Convince Your Parents by justcallbuki(f): 4:11pm On Apr 24, 2016 |
MAYBE you should't tell her.
She is a third party in ur rel/marriage. My opinion. 1 Like |
Re: Guys Who Married Single Mums: How Did You Convince Your Parents by hanubarbie(f): 4:16pm On Apr 24, 2016 |
For ur own sanity and peace of mind,Do Not I repeat Do Not tell your momma she has a kid!! ![]() 5 Likes |
Re: Guys Who Married Single Mums: How Did You Convince Your Parents by opendo89: 4:45pm On Apr 24, 2016 |
hanubarbie:But sooner or later she will find out na 1 Like |
Re: Guys Who Married Single Mums: How Did You Convince Your Parents by hanubarbie(f): 4:49pm On Apr 24, 2016 |
opendo89:By then,it will be left to you to decide if,u want to defend your woman or you want to obey momma ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Guys Who Married Single Mums: How Did You Convince Your Parents by nickishire: 5:12pm On Apr 24, 2016 |
Well, it depends on your relationship with your mother. But i'll advise that you tell your mum now. It is better for her to know now and accept her for who she is than for her to find out later, then all sort of issues start coming up. 6 Likes |
Re: Guys Who Married Single Mums: How Did You Convince Your Parents by opendo89: 5:44pm On Apr 24, 2016 |
I had this idea. Let me introduce her to them, and see if they both accept her for who she is first. Then somewhere along the way (probably a few months after) when I sense they've approved. I'll just throw that line in. It's more difficult to reject who you've become acquainted with, than a total stranger. God help me with this coup oo! ![]() 10 Likes |
Re: Guys Who Married Single Mums: How Did You Convince Your Parents by Dyt(f): 5:49pm On Apr 24, 2016 |
Ehhh ehhhhh Drama |
Re: Guys Who Married Single Mums: How Did You Convince Your Parents by opendo89: 5:51pm On Apr 24, 2016 |
Dyt:Kilode |
Re: Guys Who Married Single Mums: How Did You Convince Your Parents by Dyt(f): 5:54pm On Apr 24, 2016 |
Re: Guys Who Married Single Mums: How Did You Convince Your Parents by shaybebaby(f): 6:22pm On Apr 24, 2016 |
I would say go full throttle. It is apparent that you have accepted her so no need to feel defensive when speaking to your parents. It is what it is, be matter of fact about it. |
Re: Guys Who Married Single Mums: How Did You Convince Your Parents by bravitudenatura(f): 7:32pm On Apr 24, 2016 |
I go dey read comments. I have seen a family the guys parent destroy a very wonderful budding relationship like that. Na you wan marry,your mom or dad won't live with you. Know how to present the issue to them 1 Like |
Re: Guys Who Married Single Mums: How Did You Convince Your Parents by Nitefury: 9:46pm On Apr 24, 2016 |
justcallbuki: Put yourself in his mom's shoes.. And you later find out your son kept such an important detail hidden from you. She's not a third party, she's his mom hence, she has a God given (and defined) role to play in his life. Wife is wife, mother is mother, no need to blackmail. Fact is whether we admit it or not, a child from a previous relationship is very important and should be handled with care. "How come about the child? Why is she not with the child's dad? What role does the child's dad have in the child's life? Is he very much around? Is he violent? Does he visit the child? If yes, will he be coming over to their home when they eventually get married?" These are some of the pertinent questions that must be dealt with (even by the Op himself). Single mom's still get married every Saturday. But one has to be sure there'll be no drama from the child's dad (or his relatives) later when these two get married. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Guys Who Married Single Mums: How Did You Convince Your Parents by OgaMadam(f): 9:16am On Apr 26, 2016 |
If you really love her it will even itself out over time. Finding thatbperson your really well matched with is a blessing. |
Re: Guys Who Married Single Mums: How Did You Convince Your Parents by Qualer: 10:35am On Apr 26, 2016 |
hanubarbie:
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Re: Guys Who Married Single Mums: How Did You Convince Your Parents by misreal(m): 1:45pm On Apr 26, 2016 |
Nitefury:i almost screamed when i read the counsel she gave..so his mother is a stranger and his fiancee is not...thanks man,u just nailed it.. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Guys Who Married Single Mums: How Did You Convince Your Parents by misreal(m): 1:46pm On Apr 26, 2016 |
justcallbuki:no offence but are you a single mother?? |
Re: Guys Who Married Single Mums: How Did You Convince Your Parents by Swissheart(f): 5:34pm On Apr 26, 2016 |
Hmmn.. ... .. I believe parents always love and accept ppl who cares for their children. If she makes you happy and it is obvious. ... . Your folks will likely not flare up. Convince them by emphasizing how much you care about her. Let them meet her first then you study how they feel about her. If they are genuinely excited about her... . Throw that in like 'Mum dyu know Banke has a 5 old boy?.. .. Then smile...' except I tell you, you won't know blah blah'. Goodluck. |
Re: Guys Who Married Single Mums: How Did You Convince Your Parents by Nobody: 6:27pm On Apr 26, 2016 |
You don't need to convince anyone. If you are sure you know what you're doing simply inform your family and request that they understand. They might or they might not, doesn't matter. Divorce courts are brimming with couples who had no baggage before marriage. Success in marriage no be by virgin. |
Re: Guys Who Married Single Mums: How Did You Convince Your Parents by justcallbuki(f): 6:53pm On Apr 26, 2016 |
misreal:NO.......married with children. |
Re: Guys Who Married Single Mums: How Did You Convince Your Parents by misreal(m): 7:59pm On Apr 26, 2016 |
justcallbuki:well i hope your kids dont treat you like a stranger someday. 1 Like |
Re: Guys Who Married Single Mums: How Did You Convince Your Parents by justcallbuki(f): 9:04pm On Apr 26, 2016 |
misreal:mr man free me abeg, i dot reply mention,thought u had smthing better to say,as for my opinion its totally my biz...i always take my time to reply to topic........ Everybody has their reason for posting what they post. |
Re: Guys Who Married Single Mums: How Did You Convince Your Parents by mostyg(m): 9:14pm On Apr 26, 2016 |
Your wife no matter who she is can still leave you for another man. Your mother no matter what continues to be your mother. |
Re: Guys Who Married Single Mums: How Did You Convince Your Parents by misreal(m): 9:14pm On Apr 26, 2016 |
justcallbuki:true.whatever your reasons are...lol |
Re: Guys Who Married Single Mums: How Did You Convince Your Parents by frozenSun(m): 4:12am On Apr 27, 2016 |
hanubarbie: then what type of relationship will exist between the mom & new wife after the mother finds out by herself and starts to react or act due to shock and surprise ? see advice oh. how can you even hide such from anyone? why should you? it is better you stand as a man and tell whoever cares to know that she has a daughter but she is the one you have chosen. |
Re: Guys Who Married Single Mums: How Did You Convince Your Parents by Nobody: 7:35am On Apr 27, 2016 |
@op....it's best you let your mum knows now to avoid drama in the future....you are not telling her cos she's the one to marry her (of course in Africa, the bride is marrying the 'whole family')... suprises in this context can make her stand her ground that you're not going to get married to her. Pray....seek the face of the Lord and apply wisdom. Since the lady fits in to your choice of a prospective wife/life partner, now is the best time to stand by her and prove that your love is an action word... But you need to ask yourself, are you willing to stand by her through thick and thin...most men find it difficult to handle a women, not to talk of a woman with an extra 'baggage'.....are you willing to accept the child as yours and play the role of a father actively?? ..won't you segregate her when your own kids start rolling in?? cos these are things that might cause issues in the future What most Nigerian mothers don't understand is that having a child out of wedlock/single mum doesn't make you a bad person/irresponsible fellow, neither does remaining a 'tear nylon' till marriage makes one decent or better off. Above all...pray...think well....and apply wisdom. |
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