ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
© ANGEARL INITIATIVE


PROEM

I'm starting this diary with a mixed feelings, the joy of being in love and the pain of his delay. I need to ease this burden off my heart cause it weighs heavily.
I think am confused about what I feel. Sometimes I feel I really want him to stay while most times I feel its just a fling I want. However the former feeling dominates me and that makes me feel I don't want the latter.

I resorted to making a diary cause I know it won't judge me. Its listening ears are all I need.

The content of this diary is a fiction inspired by true feelings. (Whatever that means)

I love comments and criticisms.





PAGE 1

Make A Move:
(say you love me cause i love you too)

Take a glimpse of me
I'm a damsel not a statue
Hurry up and take over my being
I won't last forever, am turning blue

Make me feel better
Whisper all those sweet nothings
Cause you do them better
I want just you, not one more thing.

Take my arms darling
Cause it was meant for you alone
Don't leave me hanging
I have waited more than I can condone

Say my name sweetly
My senses crave to feel the warmth
For your voice embraces me so gently,
Making harder the part of me that's soft

Grasp my hands and take me to mama's heart.
Zero worries dear, I'm as endearing as a dove
Make that decision and let's walk that path
I am, I only have and I can only offer you love.

Make me your bride
Hold me down and let's fill up our ribs
Then watch the glow of my pride
As i knit some beautiful bibs.

So NYC..making sense

Thanks.

PAGE 2

Hey diary. My heart is heavy. The spirit behind the latter feeling has completely overshadowed me.


The thought of him makes me do this...
"Give me the minstrel's seat"
Now listen.
Sometimes I wish I could say "I love you" kiss your cheeks and....
uhmmm your lips
I wish our hearts could be in love just our hearts
I wish I could have you when I want you, control your ups and downs, posses you and I want to own you (like some bag of cash). YES!! I want to be the LORD of your life.
I just wish I could rule your heart, mind, soul and body.
BUT
You can't have me,
You can't control me,
You can't have my loyalty,
I don't want commitment
I just want to have you when I want you.
Yes, I know it's SELFISH but that's how I feel.

PAGE 3

Hey diary. Now I think its the real spirit that's in me. I have a new gist for you.
The wind stopped for a second, the sun became brighter. I saw the moon smiling and the stars dancing as the clouds beat the drums. Then the rain sang in a loud voice. All these happened just now because;

He Just Passed By!

I'm beaming with smiles, I can't hold back the excitement. My cheeks ache cause of the wide smile I'm wearing. My heart aches cause of the weight of my love for him.
This is a sweet pain though I can like to die in this pain.
I am elated....
And my joy flows like a fountain!!
My heart dances to its beats
as the butterflies in my tommy sing.
All this excitement is because 'our eyes met'.

He Looked At Me!!

For the first time ever. "Yes I know am weird".I know it meant nothing to him, but to me, it means he has made the first step towards Making A Move.
(The first two lines of the poem 'Make A Move' is dusted)

" Take a glimpse of me
I'm a damsel not a statue"

I will be back as soon as possible to update you. I hope he takes the next step soon. Ok. Love you.

PAGE 4

Hey diary,
So sorry I haven't been here in a long while. Its partly not my fault cause nothing has happened since the last time I saw him. That's sad right? I know you feel my pains.

I just want to use this opportunity to tell you about him. 'It feels so good writing this'.
His name is Prince. He is tall, dark. and......... handsome. Well it seems I'm the only one that holds this view cause all my friends 'puked' at the sound of 'he is handsome'. 'He is handsome' I know you agree with me.
I love him and I want him for me.
This is what my heart wishes to say to him.
Oh my Prince, Earl of my heart
The sun that brightens my day
And the moon that guides me at night
Glorious day to the king of my heart

I'll be back soon. much love❤

beautiful i must say.... dont kill d passion... either for poetry or writing.

Thanks Louiskay. I really appreciate your comment❤

anitapreeti:
Thanks Louiskay. I really appreciate your comment❤

Thanks Too... u are wonderful.

anitapreeti:
Hey diary,
So sorry I haven't been here in a long while. Its partly not my fault cause nothing has happened since the last time I saw him. That's sad right? I know you feel my pains.

I just want to use this opportunity to tell you about him. 'It feels so good writing this'.
His name is Prince. He is tall, dark. and......... handsome. Well it seems I'm the only one that holds this view cause all my friends 'puked' at the sound of 'he is handsome'. 'He is handsome' I know you agree with me.
I love him and I want him for me.
This is what my heart wishes to say to him.
Oh my Prince, Earl of my heart
The sun that brightens my day
And the moon that guides me at night
Glorious day to the king of my heart
I'll be back soon. much love❤

You're so sweet. Don't worry, he'll notice you and he'll love you as much as you love him.

And he'll make you feel special because you ARE special.

Just don't give up on love.

OneManLegion:




You're so sweet. Don't worry, he'll notice you and he'll love you as much as you love him.

And he'll make you feel special because you ARE special.

Just don't give up on love.

thanks dearie. I appreciate your comment

PAGE 5

Hey you!!
Exactly! something happened. I really want to erase this memory but it has stuck in my brain like ABC.
Just as I was picking my favorite chocolate in one of those shelves in De Belle's supermarket. Something strange happened.
I felt so light, I could only feel my legs shaking. Something strange over shadowed me and as I looked up.

Smiles. You guessed right. He was standing there. I felt like disappearing or on a second thought I wished the earth could open its big and insatiable mouth and swallow me.
But none of these happened. I stood like a pole starring him straight in the eyes. I am certain I can sketch his face despite my very bad drawing skills. I took cognizance of all his facial features. His dark brown eyes, his semi pointed nose his full lips, the birthmark under his nose then his handsome face. I imagined kissing him. I even imagined..... Until I heard.

"Sorry, you can have it" as this melodious, angelic and calm voice rang in my ears, my senses returned from wherever they flew to. I just realized the reason for the strange feeling. We reached for the chocolate at the same time but i was faster than him and his hand landed on mine. I looked down, then he immediately withdrew his hand.

I couldn't utter a word. Millions of thoughts raced through my mind. 'Say 'Hi', No! 'no you can have it' No! 'I love you' ok, now that's out of it, 'alright thanks' uhmmm.... I felt dumb. I watched him walking away. I stood motionless with my hand still on the chocolate.

Oh my Prince! I said immediately I saw the last of him. Then I regained consciousness. Picked up the chocolate and made my way to the cashier's desk.
Right now, am on my bed, eating the chocolate, reminiscing, wishing, hoping, imagining....... I picked up my pen and allowed the ink to indite whatever my heart says......


MY OBSESSION
It's about my obsession
I wish to make a confession
It has been my passion
My secret admiration
An unforgettable situation
Face to face with my attraction
I had a choice of possession
But the fear of rejection!
Took away my attention
My eyes though still on my mission
My heart fled in apprehension
For the fear of rejection!!
I lost my possession.
My obsession
Stood filled with expectation
Fear of rejection!!!
Back to my world of my obsession
Where I lack satisfaction.

I'll be back soon. Much love❤

You're doing a wonderful job here, pls don't stop writing....



And I hope he takes the next step too

so really nice.... u sound so melancholic....

funny enough, the guy felt same way.... but was just timid or felt it should just slid that very way....

Fijumokesayo:
You're doing a wonderful job here, pls don't stop writing....



And I hope he takes the next step too

Thank you for ur comment I appreciate. I really wish he will do so asap.

I love how she writes
fiction or not! how bout this damsel making a move...

she might turn blue waiting for her prince, who perhaps shares same mutual feelings... but cant make a move .

just a thought.

louiskay:
so really nice.... u sound so melancholic....

funny enough, the guy felt same way.... but was just timid or felt it should just slid that very way....

thanks for the comment.

afrikaa:
I love how she writes
fiction or not! how bout this damsel making a move...

she might turn blue waiting for her prince, who perhaps shares same mutual feelings... but cant make a move .

just a thought.

Thank you.
I think I will follow ur advice.

PAGE 6

Hey diary.
I'm here again with a heavy heart, *sobbing* I have grown gray hairs waiting for him. It's been 6 weeks since the last time at the mall. I haven't even caught a glimpse of him. Maybe I have lost him. 'Opportunity comes but once' isn't such a falacy. I had the opportunity and I blew it.
Now all hope is lost. Just like random guys I had crushed on, this feeling is burning down like a heated wax. It's a mere mirage! The more I long for his arms the farther away it moves.
My friends called me 'cheap' when I considered making a move. I'm frustrated. I'm in such a delima! Stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea. The pain of enduring his delay and the pain of my inability to make the move because I need to safeguard my pride as a woman. I desire to make the move but the society will condemn me because of our orientation on this matter. 'A woman never makes a move, the men do' Obsolete and ridiculous!

I think I see a light at the end of this tunnel, a sting of hope.
And that is...........

GIVING UP ON LOVE
I have been thrown in the towel;
I will just pick up the towel,
Wipe my body and cream it
I have to face this defeat.

Love! Are you for real?
I have fought, exhausted my zeal.
You still tell me to be patient
Well listen, I am sapient!!

You are blind, they say, now I know
How can you see my pains or know?
When you are equally deaf!!
Do you have senses left?

Oh! You think you can feel; Feeling fain.
Can't you feel my pain?
My heart aching for a lost passion?
And my eyes raining an ocean?

Love! Ain't you powerless now?
Just accept your fate and bow.
Let me wine and dine in peace
Paying no dime but just a kiss.

I want to be free from your shackles,
happy, flexing and soaring like eagles
Being as wise as a dove
For I have seen through your deceit, oh Love!


much love ❤

PAGE 7

Hey.
I'm sure you can tell how broken and depressed I am. Yes, I was really frustrated but last night in my depression, I thought about a lot of things. And I felt I was too harsh on myself, Prince and Love. I'm not trying to be spiritual cause am not even worthy to gather the crumbs under his table. But I have been alive, I really don't lack a thing, I have a big happy family, I am on a first class, my peers wish to be like me......... It could only be for a reason. God Loves Me. Yes He does. As I laid down these words popped up in my heart

I can only imagine
Two became one and there was one.
In your likeness one was made one.
Like the seed of a farmer,
I prospered like a tree by the water.
I see your light under the sun;
And sing for joy for all you've done.
I breathe your peace under the moon;
And hear of ur glory in the noon.
I think of your goodness and wonder;
And feel your love so tender.
I can only imagine the depth,
Of your love. Even to death,
You loved me. I can only imagine,
How you love me. I can only imagine.

Love exists after all. I'm giving love another chance. I. Love. Prince. These three words need a chance to exist in my life.
I will simply let love be in between I and Prince.
Wish me well.

Earlier this morning, dad called me to say he doesn't like the fact that I have spent two months out of my 3 months vacation doing nothing but sitting at home. "But dad I....." I tried to protest but he shut me down. "Young lady, you have to follow me to my office. You will graduate soon and you need to learn the rudiments of law"
This is not unlike my dad though, he recites same lines every Monday morning before going to his office. As a successful lawyer in Lagos, dad really wants me to be like him even better. I smiled at this thought. I watched my dad adjusting his tie. He came to my mind but I immediately dismissed the thought. 'Why would dad always force me to toil his path?' I wondered. I am not interested in Law, but dad won't hear a word of that. He forced me to study Law, as if that's not enough I'll have to practice like him. This is disheartening!!
I could have chosen to fail and be laid off from the faculty but for her words. "Whatever you find your hands doing, do it well, to the best of your abilities" Mum said as she dropped me in my hostel in my first year. My lovely mum has been my strength in my law degree pursuit. "Young lady, you are resuming tomorrow, enjoy your day...." dad said as he walked out of the house. Now I know he is really serious.
"Sh*t!!!" I angrily shouted. Back in my room as I sat in front of my mirror, a thought flashed through my mind 'Maybe it's not such a bad idea, at least I'll get busy with whatever dad wants me to do in his office as I patiently wait on love.

PAGE 8

Hey.
My internship at dad's office has been eventful. The long drive to and from the office has been so much fun as I get to talk and play with dad while we are stuck on the third main land bridge traffic. Dad told me a lot of stories and interestingly he told me how he met mum, that day as he recounted his love story I was lost in thought. Prince. I imagined telling our child my story. How sweet.

It's been two weeks since I started working with dad. I enjoy my task which is researching for our matters. I occasionally go to court with dad or his associates. Dad's firm is quite big and notable. He has six lawyers working with him and two law school interns. My dad is a successful lawyer. I enjoy each day I spend here and now I don't think it is a bad idea to learn the 'rudiments of Law' as dad describes it. Smiles.

Today I don't have much work that's why I am here. Dad traveled to Port Harcourt with mum today against aunty Helen's wedding tomorrow. You know what that means, I have to huzzle for a bus on my way home and today being friday the roads are definitely going to be busy.... This is not like I can't drive, I just enjoy being driven. Well I can't even imagine driving so early in the morning, 'I might drift off to the dreamland' and Lagos traffic is capable of causing that, so then I picked a taxi cab in the morning. But trust me, I have it all planned out, I'll leave the office around 3pm so as to beat the traffic. Terrific!

The thought of being home alone tonight scares me to my bone marrows. Not like I'll be 'alone' 'alone' the domestic staffs are there but no family is around. I tried to beg Abigail to come over for the weekend but guess what I got "I'm going out with Jay tomorrow, I can't come home". That was her response, I don't blame her, anyways it's not the girl's fault, she has a two year old perfect relationship going on and I can't spoil her show. Sometimes I wondered why my younger sister will be so lucky in this love game but am not. That's by the way. I'm definitely going to be alone tonight, Audrey and Austin are not options. Glorious Academy prohibits students from leaving school apart from mid term breaks, holidays and on extreme cases where parents specifically requested their wards exit, speaking from experience. I miss my family. Not as much as I miss Prince. 'Yeah! I do'.

Wow! Its 2:30pm already, I need to go. I'll be back soon. Much love❤

afrikaa louiskay fijumokesayo OneManLegion joanee20
Thank you for your feedbacks so far. That has been my drive.
To my other viewers please kindly drop a comment. Thanks

anitapreeti:
afrikaa
louiskay
fijumokesayo
OneManLegion
joanee20

Thank you for your feedbacks so far. That has been my drive.

To my other viewers please kindly drop a comment.
Thanks

Seriously, You are really creating a phenomenon over here.... you diary conjoined with poetry is extremely superb....

anitapreeti:
PAGE 5

Hey you!!
Exactly! something happened. I really want to erase this memory but it has stuck in my brain like ABC.
Just as I was picking my favorite chocolate in one of those shelves in De Belle's supermarket. Something strange happened.
I felt so light, I could only feel my legs shaking. Something strange over shadowed me and as I looked up.

Smiles. You guessed right. He was standing there. I felt like disappearing or on a second thought I wished the earth could open its big and insatiable mouth and swallow me.
But none of these happened. I stood like a pole starring him straight in the eyes. I am certain I can sketch his face despite my very bad drawing skills. I took cognizance of all his facial features. His dark brown eyes, his semi pointed nose his full lips, the birthmark under his nose then his handsome face. I imagined kissing him. I even imagined..... Until I heard.

"Sorry, you can have it" as this melodious, angelic and calm voice rang in my ears, my senses returned from wherever they flew to. I just realized the reason for the strange feeling. We reached for the chocolate at the same time but i was faster than him and his hand landed on mine. I looked down, then he immediately withdrew his hand.

I couldn't utter a word. Millions of thoughts raced through my mind. 'Say 'Hi', No! 'no you can have it' No! 'I love you' ok, now that's out of it, 'alright thanks' uhmmm.... I felt dumb. I watched him walking away. I stood motionless with my hand still on the chocolate.

Oh my Prince! I said immediately I saw the last of him. Then I regained consciousness. Picked up the chocolate and made my way to the cashier's desk.
Right now, am on my bed, eating the chocolate, reminiscing, wishing, hoping, imagining....... I picked up my pen and allowed the ink to indite whatever my heart says......


MY OBSESSION
It's about my obsession
I wish to make a confession
It has been my passion
My secret admiration
An unforgettable situation
Face to face with my attraction
I had a choice of possession
But the fear of rejection!
Took away my attention
My eyes though still on my mission
My heart fled in apprehension
For the fear of rejection!!
I lost my possession.
My obsession
Stood filled with expectation
Fear of rejection!!!
Back to my world of my obsession
Where I lack satisfaction.

I'll be back soon. Much love❤

Nice One

# In between...

Well! I watched all your moves at De Belle's Supermarket, what you failed to realise was that the water-drop-of-my-soul was standing behind as she watched closely... Any attempt to make a move will definitely cause a scene...

Beauty, they say is nothing but a gray of shade... I'm sorry to stirred at you more than I can hold... It's just that I can't contend with the elegant appearance of yours, oh! In my fantasy, I desire you much but not in my obsession because I already have my own...

...To Be Continue.

louiskay:


Seriously, You are really creating a phenomenon over here.... you diary conjoined with poetry is extremely superb....

Thank you. I'm honored.

tuns2s:


Nice One

# In between...

Well! I watched all your moves at De Belle's Supermarket, what you failed to realise was that the water-drop-of-my-soul was standing behind as she watched closely... Any attempt to make a move will definitely cause a scene...

Beauty, they say is nothing but a gray of shade... I'm sorry to stirred at you more than I can hold... It's just that I can't contend with the elegant appearance of yours, oh! In my fantasy, I desire you much but not in my obsession because I already have my own...

...To Be Continue.

Beautiful piece. I'm glad you are tuns2s not Prince. I would have been working on my suicide note.

anitapreeti:
afrikaa
louiskay
fijumokesayo
OneManLegion
joanee20

Thank you for your feedbacks so far. That has been my drive.

A kinda love diary with a touch of poetry...and oh dear! she z killing it! always a nice read

"A woman never makes a move the men do" REALLY!!

that quote has killed many would have been perfect love tales, and she z taken a stand already. okay i give up!.

SUICIDE NOTE!! LMAO

hope he comes around ur way soonest,kip it comin

anitapreeti:
afrikaa
louiskay
fijumokesayo
OneManLegion
joanee20

Thank you for your feedbacks so far. That has been my drive.

To my other viewers please kindly drop a comment.
Thanks

You are welcome sweety and u are doing a great job, keep it up

Nice piece. Even though I tried to decode d message... d sky is ur starting point dearie

afrikaa:


A kinda love diary with a touch of poetry...and oh dear! she z killing it! always a nice read

"A woman never makes a move the men do" REALLY!!

that quote has killed many would have been perfect love tales, and she z taken a stand already. okay i give up!.

SUICIDE NOTE!! LMAO

hope he comes around ur way soonest,kip it comin

thanks *blushing*

suicide note for real! didn't u read his comment? Lolz

I really appreciate your comments. God bless you!

remzor:
Nice piece. Even though I tried to decode d message... d sky is ur starting point dearie

thank u.

anitapreeti:


thanks *blushing*

suicide note for real! didn't u read his comment? Lolz

I really appreciate your comments. God bless you!

You so welcome, and yea God bless you too.

Dont dwell so much on the prince guy though, Love can be wicked and decide you dont cross paths anytime soon

.... so spare some thoughts for that chyker next door who knows

Peace.