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Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by Happywoman(f): 12:31pm On May 08, 2016 |
YOU WILL DIE IF YOU STAY With an abusive husband. This morning I am adressing all married women out there whose husbands beat them and is violent with them. I am not going to beat around the bush and gently counsel you, I am tired of doing that and I am even too angry for that this morning, so I'm gonna give it to you straight. Hear me and hear me well. If you stay with a man who abuses you especially physically , who beats you up and inflicts injury on you, you are not being a faithful, committed and good Christian wife, you are being a foolish and unreasonable unchristian woman and believe me, you will finally die, he will kill you, if not now, very soon. Now, the painful thing is that after you die, you will also go to hell and why, because your death will not be murder, it will be suicide because it was your choice to stay with an animal and be mauled to death! I don't mind a lady staying with and tolerating an irresponsible or even adulterous husband, but I draw a line over violence and abuse! Don't stay with a violent man who beats you! Read my lips, LEAVE that house! Get out!, take your kids and run as far as possible and don't tell me you have no where to go, you do, there is always a way when there is a will. And please, Pls and Pls, no one should throw war room into my face, I am still trying to control the holy anger in me this morning, so Pls don't mention war room and remove the holy from the anger. Iv watched war room and in as much as prayer works, it is the living who has hope to pray, there is no hope of prayers in the grave where you will find yourself if you remain in an abusive marriage. If you want to build a War room for the mad man you are living Wth, go and build that war room in another place where you are safe to pray but LEAVE that house NOW! Don't stay and die, he will eventually kill you and it wouldn't be intentional that day, he will be beating you as usual and things will get out of hands and you'll be dead and on your way to hell. GET OUT NOW!! I don't know who God is trying to save today by this post but you know yourself, I beg you, do not take my words lightly. And yes, you can share this write up, just acknowledge the writer. Based on request I add this: this article is written by ADETUTU OSOFOWORA. 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by doublewisdom: 12:41pm On May 08, 2016 |
Honestly I am tired of hearing and reading about men and women losing their lives to domestic violence. Walk away from your marriage if it's not working! Life has no duplicate. 3 Likes |
Re: Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by mamawin(f): 1:23pm On May 08, 2016 |
women are always of the opinion that the man is going to change, 'the first one was a mistake and I caused it', until things got out of hand. I still remember Kolade and titi's case. violence against women should be totally condemned by all. op you tried 4 Likes |
Re: Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by mamawin(f): 1:25pm On May 08, 2016 |
violence against women should be condemned by all. women should stop blaming themselves and believing that the man is going to change, until the deed is done. I wonder why a man would raise his hands and hit a woman he claims to love, God help us all 3 Likes |
Re: Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by Happywoman(f): 2:04pm On May 08, 2016 |
We all should lend a voice to dis . it's real and happening sometimes right under our noses. Let's stop this tragedy. 3 Likes |
Re: Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by Nobody: 2:17pm On May 08, 2016 |
Happywoman: Easier said than done, kindly provide the ways out of the dilemma in this economic climate the country is in. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by Happywoman(f): 3:45pm On May 08, 2016 |
Mindfulness: Times are really very hard and biting for every1. But staying in an abusive relationship because of hunger is worse. It's only som1 that is alive that can actually feel hunger. Now Ronke is dead , won't the kids or wateva or whoever made her to continue bearing the maltreatment, forge ahead ? Ronke didn't have to die first. no ,not at all. 4 Likes |
Re: Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by Nobody: 3:59pm On May 08, 2016 |
Happywoman: I am the last person to tell a woman to stay and endure violence in the name of 'till death do us part'. I don't believe that marriage is supposed to be endured, it is supposed to be JOY and FUN for the MOST part. I have never been in a violent relationship and I never will but I am the last person to judge a MOTHER who has to decide whether she will endure violence or expose her kids to the danger of the streets, hunger and diseases. So kindly suggest constructive solutions instead of telling these women that they will end up in hell. These women do not need judgment. They need love and support. If you see one, kindly offer her shelter or start volunteering for a NGO that supports women who suffered domestic violence. 3 Likes |
Re: Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by Jahblessme: 4:14pm On May 08, 2016 |
Until financial compensation,child support etc become within reach of divorced mothers/fathers many will keep dying in abusive environs. If u say leave-demon.If they stay- death. If they leave some tend to go back especially if suffering hardship,if the children have been taken away from her etc. Very complicated..the main thing is to have finances sorted first.If you have money in your pocket then leaving is a very viable option..without cold hard cash and a supportive family,it's back to the abuser and we all know how that normally ends up. 1 Like |
Re: Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by Kimoni: 4:57pm On May 08, 2016 |
Mindfulness: 2 Likes |
Re: Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by Happywoman(f): 5:33pm On May 08, 2016 |
Mindfulness: Am happy both of us are on the same page 1 Like |
Re: Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by bukatyne(f): 5:48pm On May 08, 2016 |
@OP: I think most of these divorce and leave threads are just initial gra gra and will die down in 2 weeks time. A number of people saw their mothers battered and still celebrate 30yrs anniversaries so why should they leave their husbands who haven't done half of what their fathers did? @Mindfulness: most women don't stay because of finances... They stay because they want to stay aka for the kids. 4 Likes |
Re: Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by Nobody: 6:01pm On May 08, 2016 |
bukatyne: I think the reasons why women stay in these marriages are several. @bold This is one of them. |
Re: Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by bukatyne(f): 2:43pm On May 09, 2016 |
Mindfulness: @bold: I totally agree and finances (purely) is at the least of them 1 Like |
Re: Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by cococandy(f): 3:39pm On May 09, 2016 |
An adult is not a baby. Why will the world have to gather to solve her problem before she lends herself a helping hand?for a while now women are being educated on the dangers of being competently dependent yet some of them will choose otherwise and when they have problems they'll start looking for who to give them constructive solution to their problems. How can only one person help all the women? How can all the people even help all the women? Do you know how many privately funded NGO are in our country? Yet all their efforts seem to be yielding little result. What needs to be in place is an ingrained system that is structured to absorb such people and provide a soft landing for them. But These same women if you propose a bill that is supposed to help their plight, they will take the side of the misogynist dudes who love the status quo and shut it down. As if the approval of such men at that moment means more than their prospective future well being (since anything can possibly happen to anyone). Heaven helps those who help themselves. Talk about child support for the kids or alimony for those women who were made to sacrifice their career to raise kids, these same women will jump on you as if what you're saying is not meant to help them. I can assure you that any bill or social reform targeted to improving the conditions of Nigerian women will be primarily defeated by the women themselves. You can't help someone who deliberately chose suffering over liberation. If they do it to appear good according to the traditions that prescribes servitude for them or what, only them can tell. Mindfulness: 5 Likes |
Re: Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by Acidosis(m): 4:27pm On May 09, 2016 |
Majority of these women see these signs before tying the knot, so the best way to avoid an abusive marriage is to avoid an abusive boyfriend. 2 Likes |
Re: Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by Stillfire: 4:33pm On May 09, 2016 |
I lean more on Cococandy's thought process because I believe this attitude towards abuse is more psychological than the economics of financial status. You still find women staying with abusive men in developed countries where all reasonable tools have been provided to enable them to leave such abusive settings. Women who are financially stable or not can suffer abuse. So what's the psychology behind a female staying with an abuser, is the question we need to deal with and I don't have the answer. But a consistent factor or statistic that cuts across the rich or poor is that girls who witness domestic violence are more vulnerable to abuse as teens and adults. If you had fathers who were abusive to your mums, get help, seek counselling before getting into any form of partnership with the other sex. 3 Likes |
Re: Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by bukatyne(f): 4:50pm On May 09, 2016 |
Stillfire: I remember a senior staff in my University who stayed with her abusive husband despite the fact she was the bread winner. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by Nobody: 4:52pm On May 09, 2016 |
cococandy: words on marble, coco! 2 Likes |
Re: Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by Nobody: 5:13pm On May 09, 2016 |
cococandy: I agree but adults too sometimes need help. Why will the world have to gather to solve her problem before she lends herself a helping hand?for a while now women are being educated on the dangers of being competently dependent yet some of them will choose otherwise and when they have problems they'll start looking for who to give them constructive solution to their problems. Well, some were not brought up to be self-reliant. Others stopped working when kids came and find it difficult to find a job. Unemployment is a HUGE problem in Nigeria. How can only one person help all the women? How can all the people even help all the women? Do you know how many privately funded NGO are in our country? Yet all their efforts seem to be yielding little result. What needs to be in place is an ingrained system that is structured to absorb such people and provide a soft landing for them. I agree. But These same women if you propose a bill that is supposed to help their plight, they will take the side of the misogynist dudes who love the status quo and shut it down. As if the approval of such men at that moment means more than their prospective future well being (since anything can possibly happen to anyone). Well, if you don't get enough attention offline, your only chance to get it is online. They will call you too 'westernized' but in the same breath take pride in a religion brought to them by the same Westerners. Heaven helps those who help themselves. Words of wisdom. I agree 100%. But those who seek help, may temporarily find it in another human. We all need help, sometimes, don't we? Talk about child support for the kids or alimony for those women who were made to sacrifice their career to raise kids, these same women will jump on you as if what you're saying is not meant to help them. Well, yes. Some people need to learn the hard way. Life is the best teacher. And once they learned their lesson, they deserve a chance. My two cents. I can assure you that any bill or social reform targeted to improving the conditions of Nigerian women will be primarily defeated by the women themselves. Fortunately, I live in a country where majority of women respect themselves so I won't be having headache over women who are their own worst enemies. My heart goes out to their daughters. You can't help someone who deliberately chose suffering over liberation. I am not interested in helping those who don't ask for help but the ones who need and want it, should be helped. Even if only for the sake of their kids. |
Re: Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by Nobody: 5:17pm On May 09, 2016 |
Stillfire: I don't disagree with you or Cococandy. I have seen enough financially independent women who would nonetheless endure domestic abuse. I also know that this is the result of upbringing and low self-esteem or the lack of it. However, different women have different reasons for why they choose to remain in a toxic and destructive relationship / marriage. I don't want to pigeon-hole all of them and I think that we should be very careful here. Some women stay because they feel helpless and would actually appreciate a helping hand. They and their kids deserve it. |
Re: Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by francis18: 6:08pm On May 09, 2016 |
darkenedrebel: CAPTAIN SAVE A HOE! HAHAHAHAHA MORE POWER ON YOUR ELBOW,YOU MIGHT JUST BE LUCKY TO HIT IT.BOY YOUR KISSING ASS GAME IS TIGHT! YOU CAN RECITE THE DICTIONARY FOR ME,I WONT MIND READING OR YOUR RAP SLANG,AMUSE ME. 5 Likes |
Re: Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by Nobody: 6:23pm On May 09, 2016 |
francis18: aren't you that transgënder? the one called Vickybee. you went from prominent to nonentity in two shakes of a Lamb's tail and now trolling is your new extracurricular. 1 Like |
Re: Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by francis18: 6:31pm On May 09, 2016 |
darkenedrebel: BOY DO YOUR THING, KISS THAT ASS! ENJOYING WATCHING A REAL MUMU. YOUR DREAM AND OBSESSION MAY COME TO PASS, JUST TRY HARDER. 6 Likes |
Re: Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by joseph1832(m): 6:56pm On May 09, 2016 |
This is among the reason why I'm a staunch advocate of couples living together before they tie the knot. Because, there is no way an abusive of cheating spouse will not show his or her true color when living with each other. There's a saying in pidgin English, "character be like smoke, e no dey hide". This is the surest way for couples to get to know each other and to know if they can live with each other. 1 Like |
Re: Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by joseph1832(m): 7:07pm On May 09, 2016 |
Happywoman:Ronke had the option of not getting married to that thing of a man. I tell you this, during the time of courtship, that man must have shown Ronke that he's abusive, but she, made the choice of marrying him and getting abused and finally killed. I've always said that women are often the bane of their own problems! That's what you see them do often. |
Re: Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by Ngoziada592: 7:33pm On May 09, 2016 |
joseph1832: That's not always true, some men will only become abusive when they start having financial or career problems. The the woman becomes the witch who is behind his problems and anything she does is interpreted as oh it's because he's now broke so it's honestly hard to know who a person really is when thing are goin well. Most people's real colors come out during adversity or when they suddenly become wealthy 3 Likes |
Re: Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by Ngoziada592: 7:39pm On May 09, 2016 |
joseph1832: I don't think that's always true, sometimes circumstances spchange within the course of a marriage and that's when you start seeing characteristics of your spouse that you've never seen before. But she should have left when he started beating her. On the other hand it's all the people around that will convince her God hates divorce and prayer can change anything, a woman fights for her home , blah blah. A girl was narrating how her father used to beat her mother and the woman moved out. Some of these people convinced her to give him another trail for just 2 weeks. Guess what he had killed her before the 2 weeks was over and he is a uniform man and got away with it. Apparently he and his colleagues were even boasting when they come on nairaland and we can see the signs and tell them to leave the people here will label us bitter women who hate marriage when they go back and die the same people that advised the, to go back will then be saying ahh why didn't she just leave the hypocrisy of Nigerians It takes a strong woman to say fu to society and run for her life and that's why I commend Tiwa. Let people run their mouths at least the babe is alive. Before you know it she will be remarried and move on whereas dead women can't 3 Likes |
Re: Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by byvan03: 7:41pm On May 09, 2016 |
No comment. |
Re: Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by cococandy(f): 9:57pm On May 09, 2016 |
darkenedrebel:thanks 1 Like |
Re: Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by dragonking2: 10:17pm On May 09, 2016 |
Most women are the architect of their marital failures..You don't expect to be verbally abusive and not receive a physical assault in return...but for instances that the man enjoys beating the wife despite her being calm, such woman should pack her load and leave ASAP 3 Likes |
Re: Walking Away- Domestic Abuse by bukatyne(f): 11:44pm On May 09, 2016 |
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