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6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. - Family (9) - Nairaland

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“domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage / 6 Ways To Make Your Home More Appealing To Visitors / How To Know And Avoid Domestic Violence In Nigeria (2) (3) (4)

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Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by GANJAFARMER: 7:01pm On May 09, 2016
josite:
. nice one but don't ever beat a child or anyone in anger.do it with love.for a child always face him down and lash the butt with short cane. don't even use a belt.for a grown up child like your wife just give her only one strategic slap on the cheek.women hate facial ugly marks so she won't insult u again.
grin grin Lmao
Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by stingbreed(m): 7:01pm On May 09, 2016
Wealthgang:
People who usually rant "never lay hands on a woman no matter what" are those who end up doing it. Its not just by ranting it, u have to understand d real principle behind that statement. I know this from experience.

So why should u generally not lay hands on a woman? Simple! Cos women are generally perceived as weaker (physically) than men, hence are defenseless.
In order words, d real quip should be "never lay hands on a defenseless person (male or female)" instead of "never lay hands on a woman". The latter is by no means a moral absolute.

Saying that it is never justifiable under any circumstance whatsoever, to "lay hands on a woman" is d stupidest thing anyone can say.
As a martial arts student, I wouldn't fight with a lady (non-martial arts) any more than I wouldn't fight a 12yr-old boy or a disabled person. They're defenseless.

In d case where a lady is not defenseless n tries anything physical with u, by all means defend urself.
If d lady is defenseless but provokes u, by all means control urself no matter what.
If she's defenseless but still attacks u, by all means give her a dirty slap. It shud end dere, punches n kicks n headbutts not allowed.

I remember an incident that happnd in UBA bank uniport (which is usually crowded). A girl was shouting n cursing in d bank over her 5k which was wrongly deducted n d staff were trying 2 calm her down. Then a boy sitting elsewhere told her 2 calm down, that d money was just 5k na and would be refunded. This didn't go well with d gal cos b4 we knew it, she walked up to 2 boy & slapped him hard. As if that wasn't enough, she took off her slippers n slapped d boy again with it, to d dismay of evry1. She wanted 2 hit him again b4 a guy drew her away. D customers inside d bank were so angry n some were prompting d boy 2 give d gal a dirty slap n were swearing d gal would have died if it was them. The boy didn't react but just walkd outside.

What happnd afta, I dnt know.

If u were in his shoes, what wud u do?
If it was me, I won't hesitate 2 slap her back n front. Y have d guts 2 slap me in public? "Never lay hands on a woman" my ass. Wud also do same if it was a guy.
Some women don't hesitate 2 slap n attack men because they have that mentality an absolute law is guiding dem n they kw how 2 cry a river when a finger touches them. Bullshit!

As for wife-beating, men who do dat are goats n I wonder how women still go ahead 2 marry such men. One big cause of it is poverty n blockheadedness. U hardly c wealthy/enlightnd pple pummeling their wives.
Where I blame women 4 it is y they allow themselvs 2 be beaten continuously all in d name of luv or i-want-to-save-my-marriage
Correct guy cool
Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by Ngoziada592: 7:01pm On May 09, 2016
It's obvious many of the men here will be paraded in future for killing their wives shocked don't listen o you hear, keep on beating. One day she will die on you and your name and face will be all over the papers and you yourself will be executed .

He who has ears let him hear . I'm sue when they were advising this man not to beat his wife this is how he was also running his mouth now he's on his way to execution. Go and ask him if it was worth it angry I'am sure he wishes he could go back in time , unfortunately he has ruined his life and family and some of you here will not listen till you do the same

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by kayti(m): 7:03pm On May 09, 2016
kizyalex10:
I rather be called a man who showcases hiss physical strength on his woman than to be known as a man who is ridicled by a woman.Nonsense,well am always praying to God to give me a wife that is jst good.because most women,90percent re no different from goats,some even goats re better.some woman can use thier mouth nd make u commit suicide.even actions.so I should die for her to be dat perfect gentle man,or jst to give her a manual reset nd take her to the hospital if d symptom of deafness persist after 3 days.rubbish
ur head dey Dia baddo young john

3 Likes

Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by Ngoziada592: 7:03pm On May 09, 2016
stingbreed:
Correct guy cool

Don't worry keep it up, hen you slap her and she hits her head against the wall and dies we will see you in newspapers grin

Continue oh wife and husband beaters grin when they parade you we will remind you grin
Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by kaziblake(f): 7:04pm On May 09, 2016
huntax:

Thanx for the compliment. You also seem to be well experienced. I'm sure u are much calmer than u put out to be. But in case u have friends that behave badly to men, advise them. No one condones women hitters, but it's safe not to light a match in a gas filled room.
My friends aren't married...still schooling tho.
Those insulting me don't know watsup..Thanks

1 Like

Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by Nobody: 7:06pm On May 09, 2016
Junior66:

maturity is for only men right? Women shoudnt outgrow childish acts too?


So if someone decides to be immature we should not decide to follow suit. That someone is insane does not make insanity a desirable thing. When they choose not to help you, you do not choose not to help yourself.

You can be more certain about your actions and not the actions of others.

Women should. However, do we murder them all or beat them to a pulp when they do not outgrow such childish acts?
Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by Ngoziada592: 7:07pm On May 09, 2016
Correct men, Abeg beat those women very well o after all bloggers have to eat grin when they parade you Seun will the first to have your face all over . See your brother, sure he was also making mouth tongue

1 Like

Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by coachwilcox(m): 7:08pm On May 09, 2016
5 ways to avoid becoming a woman beater

1. Develop ego and self respect for yourself as a man. A man who respects himself will never put up with the petulance and provocation of a woman. He'd rather walk away. No matter what the woman has to offer.

2. Be goal driven and ambitious. Never live a woman's dream for her and leave yours. Some men get married and forget about self development. They begin to live their wives dream. As soon as she's stable and independent and he's static, he begins to fade in their eyes. Respect is gone. Ego is bruised. Never make your wife's personal development supersede yours.

3. Avoid drama women like a plague. A lot of women are drama driven. They thrive on the dramatic relationship and must feed that drama fix.

4. Marry for the right reasons. Never marry a woman for beauty, her career , sex, pity, cause she had your child. Etc. marry only for lov and a woman with good character like in Proverbs.

5. Develop the fruitage of the spirit found in Galatians.

4 Likes 2 Shares

Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by Nobody: 7:10pm On May 09, 2016
mbhs139:


I quite agree with your submission, and I will give you one instance that happened during this fuel shortage crisis.

You know, we have been on the que at the station for only God knows how long. Only for this lady to come from no where to jump the qeue (keep wondering how that is possible, ... but it's real grin) with the excuse that she was just coming from the hospital.

To cut the story short, I insisted that she can't buy before me, I wasn't ready to yield my turn for her, so do other people. So, after I bought mine, the lady just came to me by the side of the car and dealt me a dirty slap, calling me all kind of names.

As I made to get down to deal with, she just grabbed the collar of my shirt and went down, slumped. Before you know it, people, Lagos lookers, don rush come... "wetin you do her..." is the shout. Since then, I avoid them and their wahala like plaque ... even my wife, I just dey look her when she starts her ...

U can imagine d nonsense! Some women are just bastards.
Slapping u for ur own right. 2moro her type would be d ones ranting "never lay hands on a woman".

I hope u no enter trouble sha! Some pple don die finish already 4 houz just dey find person head 2 put wahala on top.
Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by stingbreed(m): 7:12pm On May 09, 2016
Ngoziada592:


Don't worry keep it up, hen you slap her and she hits her head against the wall and dies we will see you in newspapers grin

Continue oh wife and husband beaters grin when they parade you we will remind you grin
U don't get do u? Domestic violence goes both ways. Just because a man is stronger doesn't mean he should take all manners of abuse.. What i'm saying is, as long as a woman doesn't get physical with me then i would never react physically.. I have been in a situation where i was being held hostage, i tried walking away but i was roughly pulled back, the door was locked on me & i had no where to go.. Women scare me

1 Like

Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by Nobody: 7:15pm On May 09, 2016
AbrahamLincoln:


You were right until the bolded.

I have been there and trust me
It is something shared by every class and
"Rude women are always rude".
.

Well, I said what I know based on experience. I hardly see rich men pummeling their wives. Its more rampant in poor homes n most of it boils down 2 lack of money n frustration.

I'm not saying d rich dnt do it at all. After all, chris brown use rihanna face as punching bag
Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by Iyawotuntun: 7:16pm On May 09, 2016
Me as a married woman, I totally agree with op and lastly abeg women, dnt ever argue with an angry man, if u kno he is angry dnt continue to run ur mouth and become defensive, u fit chop slap o! Ds are just practical ways to avoid it from happening in d ist instance

2 Likes

Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by Nobody: 7:16pm On May 09, 2016
GANJAFARMER:

Sometimes the way some of you reason can only be compared to that of an IQ of a third world rodent.
I thought you had sense until you said the above,obviously you are a fool with a capital letter F

2 Likes

Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by Toks2008(m): 7:16pm On May 09, 2016
Peaceworld:
The OP also brought the storm on his head by putting up such a funny title. Rather the title should be... SIX FACTS EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW IN ORDER TO AVOID POSSIBLE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE FROM VIOLENT-PRONE MEN IN RELATIONSHIPS. Thank you.

lol...apparently you dont understand what creative writing is all about.

the title is perfect...just that many people focus on titles without reading the contents.
Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by lazzy1: 7:16pm On May 09, 2016
A story was told of a woman who always quarrel with her husband and the quarrel always results into the beaten of her life. Disturbed by this she decided to seek for a solution to the Matter, so she went to see Babalawo. The babalawo gave her a white stone and told her that anytime her husband comes home and starts a quarrel, she should put the stone in her mouth and after trying, she should report back to him. She did just as she was told and peace finally returned to her home. So she now asked the baba the secret about the stone and he said that he did not add anything, it is just an ordinary stone. There's a Hausa adage that says 'idan bera yana da sata, dadawa ma na da wari'. It takes two to fight. When one is not cooperating, the fight will not take place.

3 Likes

Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by Ngoziada592: 7:18pm On May 09, 2016
stingbreed:
U don't get do u? Domestic violence goes both ways. Just because a man is stronger doesn't mean he should take all manners of abuse.. What i'm saying is, as long as a woman doesn't get physical with me then i would never react physically.. I have been in a situation where i was being held hostage, i tried walking away but i was roughly pulled back, the door was locked on me & i had no where to go.. Women scare me

I'm talking about those saying if a woman abuses them they will beat her. Even when some holds you man or woman, just do enough to get yourself out of their grip and just enough to defend yourself. If you go over board and the person dies in you, sorry is your name grin
Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by GANJAFARMER: 7:18pm On May 09, 2016
cekhoe:
I thought you had sense until you said the above,obviously you are a fool with a capital letter F
Why ? Because I said the ugly bitter truth ma'am ?

1 Like

Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by Nobody: 7:18pm On May 09, 2016
Doubleagent008:
I am more of the school of thought that believe that the original saying was " don't lay your hands on a LADY". Some women practically beg for it. e.g getting physical with a man, locking up his shirt almost strangling him, slapping and kicking him and his only way of escape is to send one or two brain resetting slaps to the woman. So now u are going to blame him?
A lady should be a Lady and a man should be a Man by appreciating and respecting a lady.
I personally don't beat a lady never have I done that since I have come of age. I try to avoid the situation totally.
I Like what you have up there. Those screaming never beat a woman are just singing a popular mantra. I personally analyse every situation before I crucify a guy for beating a lady.

Gbam! On point Sir!
Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by Nobody: 7:18pm On May 09, 2016
Strahovski1:
Useless...

No matter what. You have no right to hit a woman. A man abuse you would you punch him? NO. But a woman you will.

*Pulls out dick and start masturbation on threaD*

Lol dude nice one
Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by Toks2008(m): 7:19pm On May 09, 2016
Iyawotuntun:
Me as a married woman, I totally agree with op and lastly abeg women, dnt ever argue with an angry man, if u kno he is angry dnt continue to run ur mouth and become defensive, u fit chop slap o! Ds are just practical ways to avoid it from happening in d ist instance

Im always glad when i read comments from married people because hey can rrelate better with most of my articles.

1 Like

Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by 9ja4show: 7:19pm On May 09, 2016
Vinshu:
Your misogyny is pathetic . Real men don't lay hands on women.

If you don't have something to say,just read and keep shut , he is not supporting violence but just stating the obvious

When a man tells you I will beat you ,you will tell him you will kill me today or you won't rest..

2 Likes

Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by Ngoziada592: 7:19pm On May 09, 2016
Wealthgang:

Well, I said what I know based on experience. I hardly see rich men pummeling their wives. Its more rampant in poor homes n most of it boils down 2 lack of money n frustration.

I'm not saying d rich dnt do it at all. After all, chris brown use rihanna face as punching bag

It's true poor men are usually frustrated, angry and insecure. A rich man will just divorce and move on . It's dangerous to marry a poor, frustrated man

1 Like 1 Share

Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by Naikkie(f): 7:21pm On May 09, 2016
OP, your topic is flawed just by using the words 'main cause'. From an academic and intellectual stand point, you should not have listed your points as if they are facts, no social survey, no research backing etc. It's better written as 'your opinion'.

My take on this is that 'MUTUAL RESPECT BY BOTH PARTIES' would prevent domestic violence on either party.

Reading your back and forth arguments with people is really sad. You did not 'educate/inform' people you sounded as someone who would like to impose his views on people and get angry at suggestions/or other people's views.

To the mods, this is not front page worthy, so much generalization without notable social survey on a very depressing social issue.

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by Onezie(f): 7:21pm On May 09, 2016
mavinkalot:
Me wey dey cook serve my wife and kids! Is that one brusing ego? Please men spare me that ego BS. cooking for my family on many occasions have increased and consolidaated my other half's(wife's) love, loyalty and respect. Marriaage is like a box; you put in strawberries, vanilla, chocolate, then u get many more of these flavors. If u sit tight and demand a list of attitudes from ur wife, without u doing much u are archaic. Just as u love to be served food just when u are hungry; the woman loves same. No be same intestine she get? Foe me, It all depends on how u see ur wife. When I wash my wife's panties n clothes, cook and serve her, I am see it as I am doing that for myself or my other half. I feel joy n effortless in doing it. Cus na my own. There is a way u wud treat ur wife, u get the best of her not insults. Bring the best of her out. My wife is me. No big deal try ooking for ur wife n serving her. Try helping her in domestic chores esp those times she maybe getting choked with home chores only for her to see thaat it has been fixed by u. JOY, u hv reinjected life in her. Just as she is busy rushing back from office for market, just to make soup. She gets ur call akin her to come home straight n forget that stress. She meets the delicious soup served by u for her. Bro it takes notin from ur ego but adds to ur respect n love bank. I hv boys or wud be havin boys, so I hv to teach them how to handle a womn. My wife being the only femaale amongst four men needs all of the lov and Protection. You beat ur wife up the next minute u expect her to cook, kiss n pet u before u eat. Haba! U be witch? It is gabbaage in and gabbage out. GIGO! Wot u give her she multiplies n brings back. Give her abuse, she multiplies it n gives u back. Give her sperm, she mutiplies it n gives u baby. Wake up men!
God bless u nd ur family,ur wife must be very lucky to have you.You are a real man!

1 Like

Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by Revolva(m): 7:23pm On May 09, 2016
Umm if any woman fall my hand I go do am justice

1 Like

Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by nkemdi89(f): 7:23pm On May 09, 2016
dare2differ:
So you chose your brothers and your father? sad.

If you grow up in an abusive home where you have been made to understand that abuse is the only way to solve issues. You can't fully blame them unless you have tried to get them help
I guess we are on a parallel side on these issue as you seem not to decipher the point I am trying to make, what concerns brother, father or an abusive home in all these I said? It can be a contributive factor, but that isn't my point.
Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by Ngoziada592: 7:23pm On May 09, 2016
Toks2008:


Im always glad when i read comments from married people because hey can rrelate better with most of my articles.

Many of us here are also married but if course you are not happy to hear from us since we don't agree with you. No one is saying some women aren't trouble makers, out point is your article is all about blaming the victim. Both parties in a marriage will provoke each other from time to time so everyone must learn to control their reactions and if you feel the person will lead you to do something you'll regret then it's time to leave. The same way some men will keep cheating till the wife snaps and kills him, does that ever make it right? Your Thread should have been balanced but you are onpbviously prejudiced. When s woman kills her husband will you write a thread about how men are responsible for their wives killing them
Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by Ngoziada592: 7:25pm On May 09, 2016
9ja4show:


If you don't have something to say,just read and keep shut , he is not supporting violence but just stating the obvious

When a man tells you I will beat you ,you will tell him you will kill me today or you won't rest..

When a woman is jealous and you keep cheating don't be blame her too much or be suprised when she kills you a Abi
Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by Nobody: 7:27pm On May 09, 2016
GANJAFARMER:
Why ? Because I said the ugly bitter truth ma'am ?
do you even have any idea about the IQ of a rodent?, I tried to reason with your point,but comparing some ladies to that is an insult and anything coming from you is viewed by me as trash,so please don't quote me again

1 Like

Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by greetings(f): 7:30pm On May 09, 2016
Domestic violence is trending and very sensitive but if op had stopped at the first and last fact, I wouldn't have a problem. Because I mean being gullible and ignoring signs of violence is your fault and even at that, it's not because she deserves it. It's because there's a defect in the character of such a man that beats up the wife.

If I agree with your other points it means we can also conclude that the woman that died on Saturday deserves it, or that titi arowolo killed by husband in lagos years too caused it, so.......? In another twist, would you say that man that was stabbed by his lawyer wife in ibadan caused it too by being gullible and complacent. I guess no, you would say he was a gentleman and she's evil. So therefore the same applies, when you beat your wife no matter what you are evil!

Domestic violence has triggers, and it evolves overtime. From emotional abuse to verbal abuse then physical abuse. The abuser almost always has a defect in character and resort to these means to inflict pain upon his or her victim.

Also,you failed to underline why your point 2 to 4 is so.. or is it not possible that the woman may have being often provoked before she starts behaving in such ways. Note there's a difference between a proper lady or woman and a "bitchy" one.

Therefore, I do not agree that these are facts..... until you carry out a "root cause analysis" or research proper.


My point of view!

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: 6 ways women can avoid domestic violence. by Coldfeets: 7:30pm On May 09, 2016
cr7lomo:



I don't believe in the " a man shouldn't hit a woman no matter what" crap u posted...do u expect the man to keep on being abused and disrespected mentally, after spending so much on wedding and bride price ...infact , u de craze for head. Most women are becoming increasingly stupid by the day. If u can't control ur mouth, I also will not be able to control my hand... Will u insult a person with a gun?? If u know ur husband has the strength to beat u if u intentionally and continuously insult him, then its certain you are a witch and he will do to u what they do to witches

Correct man!!!

I like that: will you insult a person with a gun?

Abeg wetin be your brand? Just collect am sharp sharp, I'll pay.

1 Like

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