banio:
Wedding ring is more deadly than boxing ring. Most people are saying conversation is the best. I support. But personally, I have been asking my wife a simple question since January this year, and I have not got an answer.
Simple question " What did You do with the money I gave U to keep? "
Her answer is business. "What kind of business?". No answer up till now 13th day of May.
Marriage is complex

I hope you already know the answer : she's scared to death that you will not approve of what she spent it on. If she feels safe with you, she'll open up. She may have given it to 419 wonder bankers etc
May I join her in pleading with you to forgive?
Money can be made or lost but when there is life, there is hope.
Please forgive and forget. She will open up to you later. Don't expose her folly. She's a part of you.
I just feel the tension between both of you

No matter hw hurt or let down u get 4rm ur wife.. u guys must nt sleep ova it witout talking things out...u must develop a very rich communication habit wit ur wife...marriage is a full-time job..we shouldnt apply if we are nt ready...u and ur wife might be lackn a veri swt communication skillz...dia is no need kipn her in the house wen u the husband cn easily carry out all that u listd above witout remembering the vow u made to her b4 God...thankz & God bless us all

[quote author=guardian47 post=45591997][/quote]

I cherish your advice cos there are lots of truth in it but if you were in my position you wouldn't be thinking this way.

Imagine a woman calling all sought of names, clapping and hissing on you for days ? I'm sure you wouldn't like it and might do worse then what I did

MurphyInc:


Wow! you don't get it at all and I'm very sure you are still very single.let me tell u something, we've been married for 8 years and she been like that since we started having babies and you expect me to continue my life with her like that till she turn me to a sadist or till I got frustrated and hang myself ?

Imagine a wife calling her husband all sought of names over an argument.a woman that will categorically tell me that she knows I can't beat her cos I know the repercussion.

Very much married. My husband and I got into an argument yesterday and this morning we talked about it when tempers had cooled down. We even made fun of each other. We both had concrete points but we both did not handle the argument fully well. Despite the fact I was hurt, I went home yesterday and cooked him a delicious meal and he ate it all. Now we are about meeting up after work to go for an ice cream.
Your wife is totally wrong in calling you names. I don't agree with that kind of behaviour. You should sit her down and tell her it is not the right thing to do. You can argue your points without the name calling. I learnt a long time ago that you cannot take back what you say in the heat of anger. I had rather you walk away during the argument and come back in a couple of hours when tempers have cooled. As a married man you should spend the night in your house. Also in a light-hearted manner when you both are having fun, you should remind her that you are her husband and the father of her kids and therefore she should stop with the insults. She needs to act more maturely and handle her temper in a more civil way.

MasterofNL:

What is the best way to show your wife that you are not happy with her?

I mean when you are so offended at her.

I am thinking:

1. Stop eating her food. Go out and buy your own food and refuse to eat whatever she cooks.

2. Turn your back to her on the bed and don't make love to her.

3. Don't reply her when she talks to you or asks any question; just ignore her.

What you guys think?

The best way is to simply tell her and you will get an apology.
1
If you stop eating my food, I will cook your favourite meal, enjoy it with a third party, take selfies and flaunt it all over social media.

2
If you turn your back to bed and don't make love, I'll go clubbing and wear net and transparent lingerie and parade the bedroom with lap dance.

3
If you don't reply me when I ask you any question, I'll go Online to chat on facebook, Twitter, imo, skype, nairaland etc.

Ekii:
Just imagine how a supposedly married man reasons. What happened to having a good dialogue? Must you condescend to that level as opposed to being the head of your home? Na you go tire last last

After ttying to talk to her she wouldnt listen

what other type of dialogue are you talking about please?

omooba969:
There are wives who never learn nor listen. To even say sorry when they are wrong(that's if they even admit without arguing) is another ball game entirely.

Anytime you correct them, they feel you are attacking them so they get on the offensive even if the matter is not serious.

These ones are the insensitive type, inconsiderate & non-proactive.

I agree with you on this.

NLban:


Am sorry in advance, if you will feel offended by my comment. Why is it that women always lay emphasis on "how you say it" why on the other end, Women are the ones that talk any how. Go visit some homes and see how these women treat 'house helps' that do most of the domestic work. How many women here appreciate them just once a month. All they do is to see how they can maltreat such house helps.

The worse of it all is that, it is this same type of women who come on online to teach men how to talk to their wives.


Hmmmmm if you value good talk this much then why don't you practice it with people that relate with you on a much more closer level.

Why can't most women relate to people the same
Am not referring to you though. Hope you don't misunderstand my point.


****

I got ur point dear, there is no reason to get offended. Yes, there are women dat talks harshly to others, every one with its own character wt different upbringing. U can't say because some women are harsh and so u must treat all women harshly, that's bad. Come to think of it, any body(both male n female) who act badly, there must be a reason behind it. It is either there is a need not met or she may even suspecting something and she transfers d aggression on someone else. Every thing still bothers on how she's been treated in her house. In fact some of d options d op mentioned above could even b d reason. I am very sure u or even d op wouldn't want to b treated wt those options he gave when u offend ur spouse. Or beta still, let me ask u dis question, will u like it wen ur spouse deny u of sex simply because u offend her or u will b happy if she ignore u completely at home because u didnt do something she want u to do? Men or women, let's learn to treat others d way we would like to b treated. Hope u get wat I am trying to say

refreshrate:


After ttying to talk to her she wouldnt listen

what other type of dialogue are you talking about please?

you talk not once, not twice. yet no change. as if they doing you favour by staying married to you.
I understand your trouble bro.

salt1:


I hope you already know the answer : she's scared to death that you will not approve of what she spent it on. If she feels safe with you, she'll open up. She may have given it to 419 wonder bankers etc
May I join her in pleading with you to forgive?
Money can be made or lost but when there is life, there is hope.
Please forgive and forget. She will open up to you later. Don't expose her folly. She's a part of you.
I just feel the tension between both of you

Thank u. It's obvious he didn't keep d atmosphere for her to relate freely wt him. That is simply d reason she wouldn't say anything.

emmachukwu99:


I think I will do exactly as ur husband, but does he make love to you when he is angry? Or do u use sex to bribe him?

firstolalekan:

It is chores and not shores

Dang!
I can't believe I typed that. LOL

But then, that was the only thing you took from the post? Just one question dude, how are you faring as a hater?
It's a rhetoric question

babapressy:
Lol. As 4me weda we (me & my wife) hav issues or not am use to turning my back on her wen we are sleeping. I grew up wt dis kind of behaviour. I cnt even sleep wit any1 on same bed b4, bt nw dat am married i dnt av a choice bt sum times i wil disappear to d ground and sleep bt if my wife wake up and catch me eeh, no b smal wahalaa oo. She go halaa con cary face 4me 4sum time, bt me go shaparly appologise b4 e go cos wahala way go involve village chiefs.

Pack out of ur matrimonial home and abandon her and ur kids just like someone i know did. U move in wit ur lover just to drive ur point home.

Evina:


Dang!
I can't believe I typed that. LOL

But then, that was the only thing you took from the post? Just one question dude, how are you faring as a hater?
It's a rhetoric question

*hiss*
At my age, I don't answer nonsense question

Bluffly:


How many wives ask their husband for sex to talk of starving them with sex. They only ask once in a blue moon.

How do couples ask for sex?
I mean if you're in the mood as a woman, draw close to him and start caressing and kissing or just say, sweetie come n touch my nipple or if you are too "holy", say sweetie it's time for praise n worship.

These are the things I do

Nancy2016:


This is a terrible approach and some people will even call it emotional abuse. What you have achieved is a woman who will bow down to your desires. Did you ever ask her own opinion? Do you think the cause of your disagreement has been resolved? All you have just done is manipulated her into submission. It is due to these attitudes that we have a lot of oppressed and unhappy married women in Africa.

Wow, I kinda like ur way of thinking. That is wat most of them do and they thought they got women under their control. They are only mindful of themselves n Neva thought of hw their spouse feels

firstolalekan:

*hiss*
At my age, I don't answer nonsense question

LOL.

At "your age" you shouldn't hiss and you should also know that rhetoric questions don't need answers.

HAVEIT:
LadyF please understand marriage is not they way you are looking at it,it take understanding and maturity to have a good marriage.Pulsing communication does not mind you are not going to continue communication.Is only a pointer to there is an issues we need to resolve.No any other way is most suited then this.

hmmmm....I really cannot see how silent treatment and starvation can be a conflict resolution mechanism, I just can't. If I get married and hubby tries it with me, I will use pin and chook him on the bed with a wide smile let me see if he won't open that mouth that he decided to zip. I no fit fight abeg!

talk2alabama:
ladyF the op said let married people speak u be married woman? Eh?

lol abeg "leaf" me. Ayam married to Jesus, hence I fall into the married women category.

Evina:


How do couples ask for sex?
I mean if you're in the mood as a woman, draw close to him and start caressing and kissing or just say, sweetie come n touch my nipple or if you are too "holy", say sweetie it's time for praise n worship.

These are the things I do

You will agree with me that 1 out 10 do that. Women are major architects of sex deprivation in marriage

she decided to be your woman above all others. somewhere within you still lies the mojo that pulled that off. use it.

ladyF:

lol abeg "leaf" me. Ayam married to Jesus, hence I fall into the married women category.

married to Jesus! Why u nor go joing reverend sisters...



See no dey deceiv urself, go find boyfrnd.

ladyF:

I don't know if it's just me but not talking to someone you stay under the same roof with because you are upset is the height of childishness. I really cannot do it. What example is the OP going to be setting for his kids?

It would be nice if he even says the "so great a sin" that his wife committed. He is just destroying his marriage with his own hands. If he doesn't have sex with her, someone else will.

Imagine a woman saying she won't sleep with her husband on top say she dey vex? How smart!!! Wetin consign me sef. If he likes he should kukuma pack out of the house so the wife will know how "angry" he is.

Who told you that?

Bluffly:

You will agree with me that 1 out 10 do that. Women are major architects of sex deprivation in marriage

Really?
I'm always wary of statements made in assumptions and generalisations.

You can't be so sure Bros.

MasterofNL:


You're not married either so you can't really understand.

I don't have to be married to know. I wonder why discussion don't work with her...

I believe something is missing

Evina:


Who told you that?

I was quoting a modified version of dettol advert

emekamigo:
If you do all those to my heartless wife,she won't even look at you two times.She flourishes in quarrels.That is even when she starts calling her boyfriends in front of you.Thinking of leaving her though-looking for a way to tell her!

Wow! This is sad.

Why did you let this get so bad?

ladyF:

I was quoting a modified version of dettol advert

LOL.

Evina:


How do couples ask for sex?
I mean if you're in the mood as a woman, draw close to him and start caressing and kissing or just say, sweetie come n touch my nipple or if you are too "holy", say sweetie it's time for praise n worship.

These are the things I do

Praise and worship? You dey choir? Lol
*wife grabs hubby* oya baba xyz,unleash the python. Chai u married pple wont kee me biko hehehe

sheddy03:

you talk not once, not twice. yet no change. as if they doing you favour by staying married to you.
I understand your trouble bro.

I swear down
Then you start to look like you don't even know what you're doing because you're trying to make peace reign but for them na power tussle

OP do the 3 jare so far you no hit am all good & fine