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Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Countrygirl(f): 10:12am On May 16, 2016
ilovemylife:

Many many factors is what am really considering and my mum is num one of them
Your hapiness should be the num one factor u consider. If u know u won't be hapi with him, why marry him.

6 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by firstking01(m): 10:13am On May 16, 2016
ilovemylife:

Thinking about
You asking me?, should be asking you watchu mean by that huhundecided??...cos you never told us what you do for a living??
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by olac21(m): 10:31am On May 16, 2016
Gosh-i can see you're hurt emotionally that you're typing angrily!

1 Like

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by olac21(m): 10:34am On May 16, 2016
Countrygirl:
Your hapiness should be the num one factor u consider. If u know u won't be hapi with him, why marry him.

Cmon not that she's not happy with the man she's just hurt!you guys should encourage her a bit to give the guy one more chance and preparations are at top-notch,so she should calm down and engage the guy in a one-on-one talk!that's it dear!
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Mologi(m): 10:56am On May 16, 2016
ilovemylife:

Is not about sleeping around, is about doing it with someone I have known all my life
If am to be ur younger sis what will you advice me to do.
what i would have advised my sis!!
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by onstelly(f): 11:02am On May 16, 2016
OP you really need to calm down, I know how you feel trust me, but I don't think is enough reason to cancel the wedding plans
Like someone advice you talk to him about it, and from his responses we can now take it from them
Men will always be men trust me.
I understand you pain but just hold on till you talk to him and pls do that very fast!

Meanwhile Don't forget to vote REFINER
#IVOTEREFINER
#ISTANDWITHREFINER

1 Like

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by ilovemylife: 11:35am On May 16, 2016
olac21:

Good but pls dnt cancel the wedding plans!hope he works too cos I can assure you nearly all men are cheats(that's the truth)take care ma!
Thank you, he works too
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Nobody: 11:37am On May 16, 2016
ilovemylife:
I met a guy of 31 through my elder sister , last year February. He started asking me out but because I just came out of a bad relationship, I told him that I am not yet ready to go into a relationship now but he hanged on until August, by then we a have become good friends and we started dating. But three months into the relationship I noticed that my boyfriend has a thing with a lady that stays in the same street with me, a lady I have known all my life cos we grew up together, I confronted him and he told me that it was just a Fling and nothing more, so I told him to please stop whatever he is doing with the girl because we know each other and he promised too. I trusted him to because I can't be going around checking up on a man old enough to take care of himself. So during his birthday this year, he told me the girl called him to wish him happy birthday and asked him hope she will be getting an invite for the party, so he asked him if he should invite her, I told him he can that I don't have a problem with that. So he invited her for the birthday party and she came for the party and my boyfriend introduced me to her as his girlfriend, in that same party my boyfriend gave me the surprise of my life when he asked me to marry him and I accepted. we are now planning for our traditional wedding which is coming up July but I was shock to find out that my husband to be is still sleeping with that same girl because I stumble on their whatsapp chat. I feel like my world is crashing before my very eyes, I am so confuse, what should I do. I haven't confronted him yet and I am not ready to because I don't want another series of lies and deceit. This is man that has taken very good care of my financial but what of emotional and again it's not all about money for me because I am not going to be a poor wife. Should I walk out of this relationship and cancel the wedding plans? I am so confused now, because if he truly loves me as he claims, he should be able to respect me, another question I wanted to ask him is this, why that lady.
Please nairalander what should I do, confront him or what, I have even discuss this with any of my family member. And since this incident I have been very down, so many thought has been crossing my mind.
NB: will be 27 by August

You have been shown what you will live with for the rest of your life if you marry him.

the decision is now yours to make.

can you tolerate a cheating husband or not. that should be your question...to yourself.

oh BTW, he is never ever ever ever going to change. so don't think that you can change him later.

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by NiRfreak(m): 11:50am On May 16, 2016
.....what if you didn't catch him red-handed?....I'm sure you will be fine, living your normal life,thinking your fiancee is holy.

What if you caught him after the wedding?....will you divorce?

Deal with it with wisdom......Confront him with evidence and threaten to back out of the wedding.

If he's truly sorry after calling his bluff, then forgive him......but if he's not sorry...then............its dangerous

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by ilovemylife: 12:06pm On May 16, 2016
NiRfreak:
.....what if you didn't catch him red-handed?....I'm sure you will be fine, living your normal life,thinking your fiancee is holy.

What if you caught him after the wedding?....will you divorce?

Deal with it with wisdom......Confront him with evidence and threaten to back out of the wedding.

If he's truly sorry after calling his bluff, then forgive him......but if he's not sorry...then............its dangerous

Thanks for the advice
I am going to confront him and it's going to be today

1 Like

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Nobody: 12:23pm On May 16, 2016
danduchi:
If Linda is planning for traditional wedding in July, who wouldn't know since January? Hope I have answered ur question


That's not it, how do you know Linda Ikeji would kill to be in her position

2 Likes

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by raydatluvs(m): 12:28pm On May 16, 2016
Whoa!!! Being a guy myself,I find most of the comments really low,normally,I would just ignore but I felt you need to hear it blunt.. The flip is you can't change him,manage him.Everything is wrong with the youngman please and you don't have to subject yourself to this lifetime of worry becasue you are 27. Madness!!!
Sometimes I read comments on here and am wondering if its a sane person writing it,I don't want to quote any. We read stories of violence and wife beaters and you see comments like leave the marriage,didn't you see signs from this same set saying manage him,husbby is scare and the dumb likes.
You my dear,have seen the signs you need,I hope your story is not the case.
Btw,you might want to try the family section next time you have a serious issue like this and need experienced comments.no pun intended

22 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by ilovemylife: 12:45pm On May 16, 2016
raydatluvs:
Whoa!!! Being a guy myself,I find most of the comments really low,normally,I would just ignore but I felt you need to hear it blunt.. The flip is you can't change him,manage him.Everything is wrong with the youngman please and you don't have to subject yourself to this lifetime of worry becasue you are 27. Madness!!!
Sometimes I read comments on here and am wondering if its a sane person writing it,I don't want to quote any. We read stories of violence and wife beaters and you see comments like leave the marriage,didn't you see signs from this same set saying manage him,husbby is scare and the dumb likes.
You my dear,have seen the signs you need,I hope your story is not the case.
Btw,you might want to try the family section next time you have a serious issue like this and need experienced comments.no pun intended
Thank you but please is there anyway I can move this to the family section!
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by PinketteDawn: 1:07pm On May 16, 2016
Put your marriage plans on hold first and tell him your reasons. Get to know him better and see if this behaviour is what you can accept and live it. You are 27, trust me, there is no rush. Imagine going ahead now, having 2 or 3 kids and divorcing by 33 because you cannot tolerate his escapades. What then have you acheved? Marriage does not define you. You don't have to be married to be happy. You know your values and your morals. Never, ever, ever, sacrifice your morals or values because of marriage. At the end of the day, you will be very miserable, heartbroken, frustrated and ALONE in a marriage that is not working.

9 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by PinketteDawn: 1:11pm On May 16, 2016
Put your marriage plans on hold first and tell him your reasons. Get to know him better and see if this behaviour is what you can accept and live it. You are 27, trust me, there is no rush. Imagine going ahead now, having 2 or 3 kids and divorcing by 33 because you cannot tolerate his escapades. What then have you achieved? Let me tell you, he will not change oh...lol. If it is not that girl tomorrow, it will be another girl. Trust me on this.
Marriage does not define you. You don't have to be married to be happy. You know your values and your morals. Never, ever, ever, sacrifice your morals or values because of marriage. At the end of the day, you will be very miserable, heartbroken, frustrated and ALONE in a marriage that is not working.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by andreernest28(m): 1:20pm On May 16, 2016
The devil you know is much more better dan the one you dont know.pls i will employ you to talk to him.dont be scared of anything.If you want your marriage to work out.talk some real sense into him or else you live an entire life filled with pain with him.Wish you all the very best
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Nobody: 1:24pm On May 16, 2016
Jonathan sef embarassed

Anyway, wait till the NLC strike is be called off, for now, I am down and out with any positive comment on this matter.

BTW, you saw a message on whatsapp and concluded that your husband-elect is sleeping with your friend. undecided

1 Like

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by danduchi(m): 1:25pm On May 16, 2016
skarlett:



That's not it, how do you know Linda Ikeji would kill to be in her position
which sane woman above 35yrs wouldn't?
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Nobody: 1:27pm On May 16, 2016
ilovemylife:
I met a guy of 31 through my elder sister, last year February. He started asking me out but because I just came out of a bad relationship, I told him that I am not yet ready to go into a relationship now but he hanged on until August, by then we had become good friends and we started dating.

But three months into the relationship I noticed that my boyfriend has a thing with a lady that stays in the same street with me, a lady I have known all my life cos we grew up together, I confronted him and he told me that it was just a Fling and nothing more, so I told him to please stop whatever he is doing with the girl because we know each other and he promised too. I trusted him to because I can't be going around checking up on a man old enough to take care of himself. So during his birthday this year, he told me the girl called him to wish him happy birthday and asked him hope she will be getting an invite for the party, so he asked me if he should invite her, I told him he can that I don't have a problem with that. So he invited her for the birthday party and she came for the party and my boyfriend introduced me to her as his girlfriend, in that same party my boyfriend gave me the surprise of my life when he asked me to marry him and I accepted.

We are now planning for our traditional wedding which is coming up July but I was shocked to find out that my husband to be is still sleeping with that same girl because I stumble on their whatsapp chat. I feel like my world is crashing before my very eyes, I am so confused, what should I do. I haven't confronted him yet and I am not ready to because I don't want another series of lies and deceit. This is man that has taken very good care of my financial but what of emotional and again it's not all about money for me because I am not going to be a poor wife. Should I walk out of this relationship and cancel the wedding plans? I am so confused now, because if he truly loves me as he claims, he should be able to respect me, another question I wanted to ask him is this, why that lady.

Please nairalanders, what should I do, confront him or what, I have even discussed this with any of my family member. And since this incident I have been very down, so many thought have been crossing my mind.

NB: will be 27 by August

Any Nigerian husband in Nigeria will sleep with many women in the course of a marriage.

If you can't deal with that then stay single.

Who do you think is maintaining all those runs girls? The jobless single youths?

PS:

Apologise to your husband for invading his privacy and never do it again. My wife knows better.

Does he have the capacity to provide you a good home, does he have the capacity to provide a good future for the children?

Think. Oh and if you ask your friends then you're doomed. They'll give you feminist feel good advices while they hide much more worse in their household.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by kingthreat(m): 1:27pm On May 16, 2016
Put the wedding on hold for like 6 months. In no time, the street babe go see that oppprtunity collect belle. After that you can put.the marriage on hold forever.

5 Likes

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by MabraO: 1:27pm On May 16, 2016
ilovemylife:
I met a guy of 31 through my elder sister, last year February. He started asking me out but because I just came out of a bad relationship, I told him that I am not yet ready to go into a relationship now but he hanged on until August, by then we had become good friends and we started dating.

But three months into the relationship I noticed that my boyfriend has a thing with a lady that stays in the same street with me, a lady I have known all my life cos we grew up together, I confronted him and he told me that it was just a Fling and nothing more, so I told him to please stop whatever he is doing with the girl because we know each other and he promised too. I trusted him to because I can't be going around checking up on a man old enough to take care of himself. So during his birthday this year, he told me the girl called him to wish him happy birthday and asked him hope she will be getting an invite for the party, so he asked me if he should invite her, I told him he can that I don't have a problem with that. So he invited her for the birthday party and she came for the party and my boyfriend introduced me to her as his girlfriend, in that same party my boyfriend gave me the surprise of my life when he asked me to marry him and I accepted.

We are now planning for our traditional wedding which is coming up July but I was shocked to find out that my husband to be is still sleeping with that same girl because I stumble on their whatsapp chat. I feel like my world is crashing before my very eyes, I am so confused, what should I do. I haven't confronted him yet and I am not ready to because I don't want another series of lies and deceit. This is man that has taken very good care of my financial but what of emotional and again it's not all about money for me because I am not going to be a poor wife. Should I walk out of this relationship and cancel the wedding plans? I am so confused now, because if he truly loves me as he claims, he should be able to respect me, another question I wanted to ask him is this, why that lady.

Please nairalanders, what should I do, confront him or what, I have even discussed this with any of my family member. And since this incident I have been very down, so many thought have been crossing my mind.

NB: will be 27 by August

Op which kind dirty story be the one
So of a guy sleeps with a girl dey would start discussing it on whatsapp?

Op Abeg tell another lie jare
Cos of FP u begin lie
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by wristbangle: 1:27pm On May 16, 2016
emeraldknytt:
It is no new thing that to-be marriages are put on hold temporarily or permanently, and yours is no strange case either. First and foremost, You should be thankful for coming across a truth that might hurt so bad yet transform your would-be moments of agony into pure tranquility and sheer bliss. That 'sly fox' took you for a 'dumb bunny', which evidently you aren't (based on the next course of action you're going to take), he toyed with you, took. you for granted and wishes to put a ring of doom in your finger. What nonsense! If you dont want to look silly, confront him like you'd if you caught them in the act. Let him know literally, there are millions of elligible suitors out there. Technically, such a weirdo has nothing really concrete and palpable to offer speaking of nuptial happiness. Unless you want to get wedded to Bill Cosby Jr, dont rethink and walk down the aisle........... of regret.

You nailed it from A to Z
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Nobody: 1:28pm On May 16, 2016
danduchi:
which sane woman above 35yrs wouldn't?


don't be so sure of that dear, marriage is not a do or die affair

6 Likes

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by mkpikpub(m): 1:28pm On May 16, 2016
ilovemylife:
I met a guy of 31 through my elder sister, last year February. He started asking me out but because I just came out of a bad relationship, I told him that I am not yet ready to go into a relationship now but he hanged on until August, by then we had become good friends and we started dating.

But three months into the relationship I noticed that my boyfriend has a thing with a lady that stays in the same street with me, a lady I have known all my life cos we grew up together, I confronted him and he told me that it was just a Fling and nothing more, so I told him to please stop whatever he is doing with the girl because we know each other and he promised too. I trusted him to because I can't be going around checking up on a man old enough to take care of himself. So during his birthday this year, he told me the girl called him to wish him happy birthday and asked him hope she will be getting an invite for the party, so he asked me if he should invite her, I told him he can that I don't have a problem with that. So he invited her for the birthday party and she came for the party and my boyfriend introduced me to her as his girlfriend, in that same party my boyfriend gave me the surprise of my life when he asked me to marry him and I accepted.

We are now planning for our traditional wedding which is coming up July but I was shocked to find out that my husband to be is still sleeping with that same girl because I stumble on their whatsapp chat. I feel like my world is crashing before my very eyes, I am so confused, what should I do. I haven't confronted him yet and I am not ready to because I don't want another series of lies and deceit. This is man that has taken very good care of my financial but what of emotional and again it's not all about money for me because I am not going to be a poor wife. Should I walk out of this relationship and cancel the wedding plans? I am so confused now, because if he truly loves me as he claims, he should be able to respect me, another question I wanted to ask him is this, why that lady.

Please nairalanders, what should I do, confront him or what, I have even discussed this with any of my family member. And since this incident I have been very down, so many thought have been crossing my mind.

NB: will be 27 by August

Stop going through his phones. You are hurting yourself. Every man does it
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by idu1(m): 1:28pm On May 16, 2016
Greenbullet:
relax she is the Nokia torch light,u are the I phone6.u are wife material she is for banging purpose
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by D2diff: 1:28pm On May 16, 2016
You are right. It is in their DNA. Most women don't cheat at all. It is only a negligible few do. And the ones that do must be alienswink

*sarcasm*

In fact, the penalties women face for cheating are SO LAX that you can't but agree that because it is impossible for women to cheat, it is no bother to crucify them when they do.

You are not smart. No offencesmiley
queenoflafia:
Don't cancel your wedding plans pls.there is no perfect man and neither is there a perfect woman.just talk to him and let him know how what he is doing is affecting u.
The other day I saw it was in their DNA,they called for my head

2 Likes

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by D2diff: 1:29pm On May 16, 2016
You are right. What about women that cheat? Oops! They must be aliens!

mkpikpub:


Stop going through his phones. You are hurting yourself. Every man does it
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Akkord4gov: 1:30pm On May 16, 2016
Greenbullet:
relax she is the Nokia torch light,u are the I phone6.u are wife material she is for banging purpose

Lol,u used my quote grin grin grin grin
Naso na,many guys will always have more than 1 phone but to be the expensive one na the koko
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by freezze(m): 1:30pm On May 16, 2016
ilovemylife:
I met a guy of 31 through my elder sister, last year February. He started asking me out but because I just came out of a bad relationship, I told him that I am not yet ready to go into a relationship now but he hanged on until August, by then we had become good friends and we started dating.

But three months into the relationship I noticed that my boyfriend has a thing with a lady that stays in the same street with me, a lady I have known all my life cos we grew up together, I confronted him and he told me that it was just a Fling and nothing more, so I told him to please stop whatever he is doing with the girl because we know each other and he promised too. I trusted him to because I can't be going around checking up on a man old enough to take care of himself. So during his birthday this year, he told me the girl called him to wish him happy birthday and asked him hope she will be getting an invite for the party, so he asked me if he should invite her, I told him he can that I don't have a problem with that. So he invited her for the birthday party and she came for the party and my boyfriend introduced me to her as his girlfriend, in that same party my boyfriend gave me the surprise of my life when he asked me to marry him and I accepted.

We are now planning for our traditional wedding which is coming up July but I was shocked to find out that my husband to be is still sleeping with that same girl because I stumble on their whatsapp chat. I feel like my world is crashing before my very eyes, I am so confused, what should I do. I haven't confronted him yet and I am not ready to because I don't want another series of lies and deceit. This is man that has taken very good care of my financial but what of emotional and again it's not all about money for me because I am not going to be a poor wife. Should I walk out of this relationship and cancel the wedding plans? I am so confused now, because if he truly loves me as he claims, he should be able to respect me, another question I wanted to ask him is this, why that lady.

Please nairalanders, what should I do, confront him or what, I have even discussed this with any of my family member. And since this incident I have been very down, so many thought have been crossing my mind.

NB: will be 27 by August

Look well before you leap. Marriage is not something you go into because of just money or beauty. You have to bring so many things together.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by missyge(f): 1:30pm On May 16, 2016
ilovemylife:
I met a guy of 31 through my elder sister, last year February. He started asking me out but because I just came out of a bad relationship, I told him that I am not yet ready to go into a relationship now but he hanged on until August, by then we had become good friends and we started dating.

But three months into the relationship I noticed that my boyfriend has a thing with a lady that stays in the same street with me, a lady I have known all my life cos we grew up together, I confronted him and he told me that it was just a Fling and nothing more, so I told him to please stop whatever he is doing with the girl because we know each other and he promised too. I trusted him to because I can't be going around checking up on a man old enough to take care of himself. So during his birthday this year, he told me the girl called him to wish him happy birthday and asked him hope she will be getting an invite for the party, so he asked me if he should invite her, I told him he can that I don't have a problem with that. So he invited her for the birthday party and she came for the party and my boyfriend introduced me to her as his girlfriend, in that same party my boyfriend gave me the surprise of my life when he asked me to marry him and I accepted.

We are now planning for our traditional wedding which is coming up July but I was shocked to find out that my husband to be is still sleeping with that same girl because I stumble on their whatsapp chat. I feel like my world is crashing before my very eyes, I am so confused, what should I do. I haven't confronted him yet and I am not ready to because I don't want another series of lies and deceit. This is man that has taken very good care of my financial but what of emotional and again it's not all about money for me because I am not going to be a poor wife. Should I walk out of this relationship and cancel the wedding plans? I am so confused now, because if he truly loves me as he claims, he should be able to respect me, another question I wanted to ask him is this, why that lady.

Please nairalanders, what should I do, confront him or what, I have even discussed this with any of my family member. And since this incident I have been very down, so many thought have been crossing my mind.

NB: will be 27 by August
If he cnt still b cheating on u with d lady despite his promise den i dnt think the wedding is worth it cos hel dp worse wen u are finally together... And my dear sis, U knw wat dat means.


Confront him nd hear his flimsy excuse dis time...


Pray also before u make ur decision.
God will help u...

2 Likes

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by idu1(m): 1:31pm On May 16, 2016
ilovemylife:

Is not about sleeping around, is about doing it with someone I have known all my life
If am to be ur younger sis what will you advice me to do.
jealousy no kill you grin grin cheesy cheesy tongue tongue
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Infinitikoncept(m): 1:31pm On May 16, 2016
Its a dicey issue when you had to find out yourself & I know it can bring so much emotional pains. Sit him down and ask him exactly what he is looking for in the other lady?
If you mean anything to him & if he wants the relationship with you to lead to marriage or not?
I don't want to sound churchy but if the guy really wants you it will be a personal decision which he needs to settle in Christ Jesus himself.
For those saying he will continue after getting married na lie una talk.

2 Likes

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