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Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Can I Cancel An Order Made With Jumiapay? / Help!!!!! I'm About To End My Marriage Plans / Do I Cancel My Wedding (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by idu1(m): 1:31pm On May 16, 2016
ilovemylife:

Is not about sleeping around, is about doing it with someone I have known all my life
If am to be ur younger sis what will you advice me to do.
jealousy no go kill you grin grin cheesy cheesy tongue tongue
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by robosky02(m): 1:31pm On May 16, 2016
.@ ilovemylife:

I met a guy of 31 through my elder sister, last year February. He started asking me out but because I just came out of a bad relationship, I told him that I am not yet ready to go into a relationship now but he hanged on until August, by then we had become good friends and we started dating.


RULE 1. never rush into a relationship especially when the old wound is not completely healed.



But three months into the relationship I noticed that my boyfriend has a thing with a lady that stays in the same street with me, a lady I have known all my life cos we grew up together, I confronted him and he told me that it was just a Fling and nothing more, so I told him to please stop whatever he is doing with the girl because we know each other and he promised too. I trusted him to because I can't be going around checking up on a man old enough to take care of himself. So during his birthday this year, he told me the girl called him to wish him happy birthday and asked him hope she will be getting an invite for the party, so he asked me if he should invite her, I told him he can that I don't have a problem with that. So he invited her for the birthday party and she came for the party and my boyfriend introduced me to her as his girlfriend, in that same party my boyfriend gave me the surprise of my life when he asked me to marry him and I accepted.

RULE 2: its better to start on a clean slat then enter a relationship where you have to deal with the EX, baggage's, just-but-inseperable-friends especially the opp sex

We are now planning for our traditional wedding which is coming up July but I was shocked to find out that my husband to be is still sleeping with that same girl because I stumble on their whatsapp chat. I feel like my world is crashing before my very eyes, I am so confused, what should I do. I haven't confronted him yet and I am not ready to because I don't want another series of lies and deceit. This is man that has taken very good care of my financial but what of emotional and again it's not all about money for me because I am not going to be a poor wife.


RULE 3: What you can't control in courtship will become a monster in marriage.
He can't be IN-LOVE with you and still be carrying the other girl like laptop bag every where.
you must SPEAK UP. communication is the key, you know what

tell him you are putting the wedding on hold for this, and watch his reaction.
if he truly loves you. then he will come clean. but if not his ACTION will tell


"Should I walk out of this relationship and cancel the wedding plans? I am so confused now, because if he truly loves me as he claims, he should be able to respect me, another question I wanted to ask him is this, why that lady.

RULE 4:
Most jealous girls will always want what you have just to get at you. she wished she is the one getting him hmm so the only way is to keep doing this...
call him to his senses and let him STOP or you will stop. if he is your man he will turn completely but if he is not
LET HIM GO WITH THE WIND...

mind you she is playing the spoiler.


Please nairalanders, what should I do, confront him or what, I have even discussed this with any of my family member. And since this incident I have been very down, so many thought have been crossing my mind.


RULE 5:
Learn to pray by yourself.
you will get a thousand advise here but pray and follow your heart

wish you the best decision

NB: will be 27 by August

3 Likes

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Nobody: 1:32pm On May 16, 2016
ilovemylife:

Thank you but please is there anyway I can move this to the family section!


cc; lalasticlala, dominique, seun
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by ummeey: 1:33pm On May 16, 2016
emeraldknytt:
It is no new thing that to-be marriages are put on hold temporarily or permanently, and yours is no strange case either. First and foremost, You should be thankful for coming across a truth that might hurt so bad yet transform your would-be moments of agony into pure tranquility and sheer bliss. That 'sly fox' took you for a 'dumb bunny', which evidently you aren't (based on the next course of action you're going to take), he toyed with you, took. you for granted and wishes to put a ring of doom in your finger. What nonsense! If you dont want to look silly, confront him like you'd if you caught them in the act. Let him know literally, there are millions of elligible suitors out there. Technically, such a weirdo has nothing really concrete and palpable to offer speaking of nuptial happiness. Unless you want to get wedded to Bill Cosby Jr, dont rethink and walk down the aisle........... of regret.
Kai see brain, see English. You have said it all

1 Like

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by danduchi(m): 1:34pm On May 16, 2016
skarlett:



don't be so sure of that dear, marriage is not a do or die affair
are you going tru emotional breakdown?
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by ICEFLAME419ja(m): 1:34pm On May 16, 2016
Greenbullet:
relax she is the Nokia torch light,u are the I phone6.u are wife material she is for banging purpose

And she might turn to baby mama

1 Like

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by D2diff: 1:35pm On May 16, 2016
Why does iya basira keep entering iya sule's room when she is not around? Do you know why?

Oops! Women also cheatshocked. Keep defending infidelity. We will all suffer the consequenceswink

EgunMogaji:


Any Nigerian husband in Nigeria will sleep with many women in the course of a marriage.

If you can't deal with that then stay single.

Who do you think is maintaining all those runs girls? The jobless single youths?

1 Like

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by histemple: 1:35pm On May 16, 2016
ilovemylife:
I met a guy of 31 through my elder sister, last year February. He started asking me out but because I just came out of a bad relationship, I told him that I am not yet ready to go into a relationship now but he hanged on until August, by then we had become good friends and we started dating.

But three months into the relationship I noticed that my boyfriend has a thing with a lady that stays in the same street with me, a lady I have known all my life cos we grew up together, I confronted him and he told me that it was just a Fling and nothing more, so I told him to please stop whatever he is doing with the girl because we know each other and he promised too. I trusted him to because I can't be going around checking up on a man old enough to take care of himself. So during his birthday this year, he told me the girl called him to wish him happy birthday and asked him hope she will be getting an invite for the party, so he asked me if he should invite her, I told him he can that I don't have a problem with that. So he invited her for the birthday party and she came for the party and my boyfriend introduced me to her as his girlfriend, in that same party my boyfriend gave me the surprise of my life when he asked me to marry him and I accepted.

We are now planning for our traditional wedding which is coming up July but I was shocked to find out that my husband to be is still sleeping with that same girl because I stumble on their whatsapp chat. I feel like my world is crashing before my very eyes, I am so confused, what should I do. I haven't confronted him yet and I am not ready to because I don't want another series of lies and deceit. This is man that has taken very good care of my financial but what of emotional and again it's not all about money for me because I am not going to be a poor wife. Should I walk out of this relationship and cancel the wedding plans? I am so confused now, because if he truly loves me as he claims, he should be able to respect me, another question I wanted to ask him is this, why that lady.

Please nairalanders, what should I do, confront him or what, I have even discussed this with any of my family member. And since this incident I have been very down, so many thought have been crossing my mind.

NB: will be 27 by August

I have always advised wives/husbands to stop scrutinizing their spouse's messages or monitoring every move.
It does more bad than good and it has never helped any relationship to be stronger.

If you love him just marry him and pray for him not to stop cheating but to be a respectful and responsible husband/father. Nobody can stop a cheat.

3 Likes

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Nobody: 1:37pm On May 16, 2016
D2diff:
Why does iya basira keep entering iya sule's room when she is not around? Do you know why?

Oops! Women also cheatshocked. Keep defending infidelity. We will all suffer the consequenceswink


I'm neither your mate nor your errand boy so you don't get to answer to you.

You will surfer the consequences of your actions.

What I defend is my responsibility, grow a pair and own yours.
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Wasquad(m): 1:38pm On May 16, 2016
queenoflafia:
Don't cancel your wedding plans pls.there is no perfect man and neither is there a perfect woman.just talk to him and let him know how what he is doing is affecting u.
The other day I saw it was in their DNA,they called for my head

Concurred 100% but with God's Phobia Few of us r still Humble and decent.
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Nobody: 1:38pm On May 16, 2016
danduchi:
are you going tru emotional breakdown?


grin grin grin because I said marriage is not a do or die affair, I'm now going through emotional breakdown, you must be very simple undecided

11 Likes

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by NigerianScholar: 1:38pm On May 16, 2016
ilovemylife:
I met a guy of 31 through my elder sister, last year February. He started asking me out but because I just came out of a bad relationship, I told him that I am not yet ready to go into a relationship now but he hanged on until August, by then we had become good friends and we started dating.

But three months into the relationship I noticed that my boyfriend has a thing with a lady that stays in the same street with me, a lady I have known all my life cos we grew up together, I confronted him and he told me that it was just a Fling and nothing more, so I told him to please stop whatever he is doing with the girl because we know each other and he promised too. I trusted him to because I can't be going around checking up on a man old enough to take care of himself. So during his birthday this year, he told me the girl called him to wish him happy birthday and asked him hope she will be getting an invite for the party, so he asked me if he should invite her, I told him he can that I don't have a problem with that. So he invited her for the birthday party and she came for the party and my boyfriend introduced me to her as his girlfriend, in that same party my boyfriend gave me the surprise of my life when he asked me to marry him and I accepted.

We are now planning for our traditional wedding which is coming up July but I was shocked to find out that my husband to be is still sleeping with that same girl because I stumble on their whatsapp chat. I feel like my world is crashing before my very eyes, I am so confused, what should I do. I haven't confronted him yet and I am not ready to because I don't want another series of lies and deceit. This is man that has taken very good care of my financial but what of emotional and again it's not all about money for me because I am not going to be a poor wife. Should I walk out of this relationship and cancel the wedding plans? I am so confused now, because if he truly loves me as he claims, he should be able to respect me, another question I wanted to ask him is this, why that lady.

Please nairalanders, what should I do, confront him or what, I have even discussed this with any of my family member. And since this incident I have been very down, so many thought have been crossing my mind.

NB: will be 27 by August
*in pasuma's voice*. Leaving a guy...because he cheated on you....is just like...leaving a country,because of rain




On a more serious note. Dump his ass. Tell him u r not more doing. To avoid troubles with ur marriage as he is likely to continue.
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by maxwelloweezy(m): 1:39pm On May 16, 2016
God loves u my dear sis u better run

1 Like

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by salvation77177: 1:41pm On May 16, 2016
Girl, you have your life to live. So, it's left for you to decide. But be reminded that marriage is a life time journey and you are expected to bear the consequences of any decision you take today.
Good luck.

1 Like

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by andyanders: 1:42pm On May 16, 2016
emeraldknytt:
It is no new thing that to-be marriages are put on hold temporarily or permanently, and yours is no strange case either. First and foremost, You should be thankful for coming across a truth that might hurt so bad yet transform your would-be moments of agony into pure tranquility and sheer bliss. That 'sly fox' took you for a 'dumb bunny', which evidently you aren't (based on the next course of action you're going to take), he toyed with you, took. you for granted and wishes to put a ring of doom in your finger. What nonsense! If you dont want to look silly, confront him like you'd if you caught them in the act. Let him know literally, there are millions of elligible suitors out there. Technically, such a weirdo has nothing really concrete and palpable to offer speaking of nuptial happiness. Unless you want to get wedded to Bill Cosby Jr, dont rethink and walk down the aisle........... of regret.

You said it all.

For me, the relationship cannot work out cus the guy cannot be faithful no matter what. It is even an insult looking at a lady that knows all about your husband's na,.ked......ness.

For me, call off the so called relationship because money cannot buy comfort with time, you will regret his actions and start blaming yourself and asking why me' why me' why me and it will be too late. Maybe when you take in if you eventually get married, the lady will also take in and two of you will end up throwing joint naming ceremony.

2 Likes

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Kaira333: 1:42pm On May 16, 2016
emeraldknytt:
It is no new thing that to-be marriages are put on hold temporarily or permanently, and yours is no strange case either. First and foremost, You should be thankful for coming across a truth that might hurt so bad yet transform your would-be moments of agony into pure tranquility and sheer bliss. That 'sly fox' took you for a 'dumb bunny', which evidently you aren't (based on the next course of action you're going to take), he toyed with you, took. you for granted and wishes to put a ring of doom in your finger. What nonsense! If you dont want to look silly, confront him like you'd if you caught them in the act. Let him know literally, there are millions of elligible suitors out there. Technically, such a weirdo has nothing really concrete and palpable to offer speaking of nuptial happiness. Unless you want to get wedded to Bill Cosby Jr, dont rethink and walk down the aisle........... of regret.
. Bros no vex ooo Patrick O. na ur elder brother?
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by isnovic(m): 1:42pm On May 16, 2016
ilovemylife:

Is not like he cheated my dear, he did it with someone I have know all my life, someone he promised not to contact again, someone who was there when he asked me to married him, someone I haven't talked to all my life till she came for his birthday party February this year.
I am hurting and I feel so ashamed that my husband to be can stoop this low.
But all the same thanks for you advice


My dear it is not a low. You tacitly gave approval to the act like all ladies do.

Ambiguity.

If you allowed her to the birthday knowing the history of both what were you expecting?

Every guy and lady chemistry operate on a number, once this number is achieved or forced both items will Bleep themselves, or loose control if they have done it before.

So decide if you want to postpone the wedding bells and seek a chance to observe a positive change from your man or you want to forfeit same totally.

If the former, then plan to speak with the lady, understand the relationship she has with your man and simply have a sister to sister talk.

If this doesn't go as plan; enter combative mode: study your rival and outdo her simple.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by tuna4servi(m): 1:44pm On May 16, 2016
U can walk out of d relationship mumu,what if u didn't not see the chat nko? Even wen u guys marry a man dat wants to cheat will cheat for sure. Wo no advice just follow ur but take ur brain with u
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by pweetychyka(f): 1:44pm On May 16, 2016
Brb OP!
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Vikkiboi(m): 1:44pm On May 16, 2016
[b]@ ilovemylife

This matter is a very simple and complicated matter depending on the angle u are viewing it.

Before going into the subject matter, can we all ask ourself this question 'can a man claims to love his wife/gf and still have a sexual PURE affair with another lady with no stringed attached'?

Let me leave u guys to answer that and let me go back to the main issue.

My advice: don't break the relationship pls.

There is no perfect marriage, man or relationship but u can make it work and move it to d perfect level.

Your husband to be loves u, if not, he wuldnt av even made effort to propose to u infront of that lady. And he is still going on with d marriage plans.

He is not the major problem, the other lady is the main problem.

They are just attracted sexually to eachother, and what that means is that she is doing something u ain't doing well, or she has something that trips your man that you don't have or that just luv having it without any affection involve.

All what you need to do is to invite the lady for a dinner.

Let her see reasons why she should leave your husband and seek for hers.

Tell her you know about everything that happened, infact u can shed crocodile tears just to make her so sober.

Then after, face your husband with facts and tell him if he really wants dis to go on.

If he is so sorry and sober after all these, then go on with d marriage.

ain't saying there are no good men, but we are so hard to find.[/b]

5 Likes

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Nobody: 1:45pm On May 16, 2016
ilovemylife:

I am not looking for a perfect man my dear
Just a man that will respect me
Sleeping with her shows he doesn't have a single respect for me. Many many factors is what am really considering and my mum is num one of them

Then why are you on here asking questions?

You want a man that'll respect you and you feel this one doesn't.

I feel sorry for this man and the kids you'll have if you do marry him.

You already are entering the marriage wounded and with vengeance.
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by colli247(m): 1:45pm On May 16, 2016
this is a warning signal for you becareful
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by danduchi(m): 1:45pm On May 16, 2016
skarlett:



grin grin grin because I said marriage is not a do or die affair, I'm now going through emotional breakdown, you must be very simple undecided

I said so because I gave you reasons am not suppose to tell u and u still try to sneak ur way out... My dear, in Africa, its a do or die for every lady.
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Nobody: 1:46pm On May 16, 2016
mimzy:
hmmm rex , let's be careful.

Most guys cheat and it's not cos they do not love their spouse/girlfriend.

OP honestly, trust me , the grass is NOT greener on the other side. Water your own well and see how it well it flourishes.

Cheating is not enough to cancel the plans if you truly love him and vice versa.

Aint saying she shouldn't express her hurts but cancellation of the wedding just seems too extreme a measure for me.



shocked shocked shockedNo kidding, whoever shows their love by cheating on a prospective partner undecided

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Abagworo(m): 1:47pm On May 16, 2016
If you are searching for a Saint then its better you stay single. 99% of men date more than a woman but it boils down to ability to conceal it from the main girl. You can make him give you most of his attention but not all. I'm being sincere here.

1 Like

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by permsec: 1:47pm On May 16, 2016
You can consult Dyt. She has a great level of idea about issues as pertains to this. But aS for me,I think some part of u is in love with the dude because of his pocket.




Thank me later.

3 Likes

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Malc(m): 1:47pm On May 16, 2016
Deleted

3 Likes

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Fortune2446(m): 1:48pm On May 16, 2016
He has been Sexually attracted simple, you are a wife material
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by greggng: 1:49pm On May 16, 2016
I am not gonna be economical with the truth. That man is a big cheat and you can never change him. Solution tell him you don't want the relationship again. Reason you cannot afford a cheat as a husband. God has shown you the true nature of the man don't expect him to come down and help you separate from him. Don't be stupid out of desperation to marry cos you re getting old. Is better to be single than to be in a marriage with a cheat

6 Likes

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Kobeje(m): 1:49pm On May 16, 2016
[quote author=EgunMogaji post=45671649]

Any Nigerian husband in Nigeria will sleep with many women in the course of a marriage.]

I disagree with you on that point. Many may be doing it, BUT RHERE ARE MANY MORE MEN WHO UNDERSTAND AND GUARD THE SANCTITY OF THEIR MARRIAGES. And so will not sleep with another woman.

I make bold to say it.

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Luvties(m): 1:49pm On May 16, 2016
queenoflafia:
Don't cancel your wedding plans pls.there is no perfect man and neither is there a perfect woman.just talk to him and let him know how what he is doing is affecting u.
The other day I saw it was in their DNA,they called for my head

God bless you for this. Some are telling her to cancel the marriage for this simple issue...

One advice is that, trust your man and stop spying on his phone to avoid scenarios like this.

He is not perfect neither you, but with time you will get use to each other and everything will work out for good.

You may dumb him thinking he will come apologizing and he endup marrying the other lady what will you then do? Kill yourself

Be wise lady and be prayerful because someone is not happy that you will be getting married.

Good luck.

1 Like

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by achoudeh(m): 1:49pm On May 16, 2016
King Solomon had 700 wives and cheated on them with 300 concubines. Your boyfriend cheats on u with 1 lady and we can't have peace . My sister read the bible!

Follow what your mind tells you

Happy married life indvance

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