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Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? - Romance (5) - Nairaland

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Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by jeje123(m): 2:03pm On May 16, 2016
JustOzito:
do you love him?
No after year of dating tongue
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Eberex(m): 2:03pm On May 16, 2016
Just as always i don't read other people's comment before i drop mine, so it doesn't get polluted.

The guy move to propose to you even in front of this girl means one thing; the girl already saw it coming, but not after he has convinced her that it will not change his relationship with her. While you were all happy and saying yes to his proposal, the girl i bet you would be at one corner saying to her self " it wouldn't make any difference since he is mine, who needs a husband when i can still get what i want from him".

I can tell you he has been very discreet so far if not that you stumbled on his whatsapp, i wonder if you'd ever find out. Thank God you followed your instinct sha.

I can bet you the girl is also making it difficult for him to stop seeing her; i can't really say what she is doing, maybe in the bedroom who knows but as long as they are in the same locality, it will be very difficult.

My advise is this: confront him but don't tell him you read his whatsapp messages. Lets see if he will lie. If he lies, tell him to swear , in short tell him to swear on his unborn children or to swear on his love for you. If he denies and swears that he didn't do it, my dear you can go ahead and cancel it because it shows the level of respect he has for you. It also shows he can go to any level to hide anything he does behind your back.

On the other hand if he confesses without you letting him know you read his message, then you might have to look for a way to work it out with him.

5 Likes

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by papascode: 2:03pm On May 16, 2016
Because u saw ur husband to be with another lady sex chat you wan come cancel marriage. Lol.. Then u neva ready emotionaly to marry. See when you confront him about it and tell him that you are aware him go fear you also i think you just take him out sit him down smiling and then tell him. He will be shocked and respect you. So, my dear no end am ooo cos building another one no easy ooo! Hold him if you love him. And also make him go to church too. The lord is your strength!!
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Nobody: 2:04pm On May 16, 2016
CuteMorriz:
This is one lie ladies keep telling themselves. Please show me Just one woman in Nigeria that says they don't want to get Married....yet you come up to marriage is not for everyone...Do you or any female in your household don't ever wish to get married? Dey there dey console your self with jargons


We wish to but if a suitable husband is not forthcoming, we won't break our neck. I'm going to ignore the insult but kindly respect yourself.

Thank you smiley

2 Likes

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Nobody: 2:04pm On May 16, 2016
Resurgence:


This is quite disappointing.
I tag you for a decent and respectable man. I only just lost all my respect for you.

Not only do you sound arrogant but also like the kind of authoritative husband most women marry.

I Wish your wife the best.


Thank you, I never asked for your respect.

If I lost your respect because I'm true to my self then it means you never respected me but simply projected your needs and wants on me. I love myself more than I love you or your fake inconsequential respect.

You are nothing but a username so don't try to act all coy to me, I'm not buying.

I have nothing but sympathy for any loved one around you and for any man that'll be unlucky to pick up a damaged good like you.

My wife is laying next to me in bed right now and we'll be fine grin

1 Like

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by youngibeh(m): 2:05pm On May 16, 2016
Who told you there is any perfect relationship? One thing is sure, every man is a goat until he changes and decide to be upright. Beside, does your man know God? if yes, then approach him and let him know you are aware of his inability to keep to his promise

But if i may ask, why did you check his phone? that also means you dont trust him in the first place. As a lady if your relationship must last please stop checking who he speaks with, text or chat with. Go to your knees and pray for him while you keep showing the best of you. He will be filled with guilt and change for good.

Once again, pray and ask God for direction if you really love him but make sure you are sincere.

AM SPEAKING OUT OF EXPERIENCE![/b]

1 Like

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by KingAdeOluomo1(m): 2:05pm On May 16, 2016
Greenbullet:
relax she is the Nokia torch light,u are the I phone6.u are wife material she is for banging purpose
@ ilovemylife see this is the truth about the matter arising here


But I will say you let him know by showing your evidences n just pretend to be really mad n watch his reactions if you feel his sorry about it then let it go it all part of life ....

1 Like

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Drfinn: 2:08pm On May 16, 2016
Dear OP, words can't express how hurt you feel. Your hurt is made worse knowing your man is cheating on you with a lady you have known all your life. It's debasing. It's really saddening.

From your post both of you were friends for 5-6 months, and became lovers in the 7th (August). How has your sexual relationship been since you started dating? Is it a no-sex-till-marriage or sexual relationship? If it's the former, your man's cheating may not be unconnected with a desire for sexual gratification. If it's the latter i.e sex is involved it's either he's hyper sexual, you don't satisfy him sexually or the other woman fulfils he's sexual fantasies.

Relationships are built on trust. Once trust is broken the relationship is as good as been dead. Can you live with reality of a broken trust? It's never advisable to make rash decisions in a fit of rage. Your emotionally down, confronting him in this state will do more harm dan. He's definitely gonna be on d defensive. Another apology and promise never to see this other lady. Guess what? He's gonna go back to her!! Not immediately but certainly he will. There's something about dat lady he finds irresistible.

Am not saying you shouldn't confront him. You have to as a matter of necessity. But you need to review your relationship first before doing same. How has your relationship been since August. Take every aspect into consideration. Especially your sexual lives. Do you both discuss sex freely. What did he tell you about his sexual history and fantasies. How knowledgeable are you in meeting a man's sexual needs. Since, your problem has a sexual undertone you have to look into your own sexual life first before addressing his.

If you heed my advice and take sometime to review your relationship in the last 9months then you can lovingly confront him. You must do same without criticism. Let him know how you feel about his inability to keep his promise. Ask him about your shortcomings especially in terms of sex if you both into it. Promise you won't be upset but determined to meet his sexual needs. Always know everyone however moral they may seem have certain fantasies. Lovingly get to know his, and he yours.

Am optimistic that after having this heart to heart talk with your man both of you will come out stronger and better appreciate yourselves. Kindly ignore the other lady. If you make any move against her directly or indirectly you stand to get hurt the more. As hard as it may seem assume she doesn't exist. Stick to your man. Shower him with respect. Yes respect!! Men crave respect a lot. Show him love, care and be more understanding. Besides don't be too hard on yourself and him. I see a bright future ahead of you two. Don't let some obstacle ruin it. Thanks.

1 Like

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Blessytee(f): 2:08pm On May 16, 2016
ilovemylife:

I am not looking for a perfect man my dear
Just a man that will respect me
Sleeping with her shows he doesn't have a single respect for me. Many many factors is what am really considering and my mum is num one of them
It's not mummy's life.It's your life.No matter how far you have gone in the preparation,you should follow your heart.
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by daclint(m): 2:09pm On May 16, 2016
If you're looking for a perfect guy or relationship out there, the truth is you ain't gonna find it . Just confront him .if u still love him then I suggest u don't cancel your wedding.






Speaking about wedding if u need a good photographer check my signature
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by 9jatatafo(m): 2:09pm On May 16, 2016
EgunMogaji:


My man cheesy

Women forget what most men want, feed us, f us and then leave us alone.

On another note I'm making lots of new juvenile friends today, I'm do happy I'm beside myself grin

The truth is women don't know how to play their kpekus role.
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Nobody: 2:09pm On May 16, 2016
danduchi:
Married life can as well change him.. Confront him and talk to him how you feel... Better marry him ooo, Linda Ikeji wish she has your opportunity.
change gini ? Joke of the century ...don't be delusional joor
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Maximus85(m): 2:11pm On May 16, 2016
Cheats don't deserve to live.
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Nobody: 2:12pm On May 16, 2016
skarlett:



We wish to but if a suitable husband is not forthcoming, we won't break our neck. I'm going to ignore the insult but kindly respect yourself.

Thank you smiley


I'm with you on this. All in the name of marriage people end up with asshooles and live with it all of their lives.

No one is perfect of course but who ever thinks cheating is no big deal in marriage will have to stay miles away from me.

4 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by IRserveMyComent(f): 2:12pm On May 16, 2016
queenoflafia:
Don't cancel your wedding plans pls.there is no perfect man and neither is there a perfect woman.just talk to him and let him know how what he is doing is affecting u.
The other day I said it was in their DNA,they called for my head

My dear it is not in their DNA. There are still A LOT of faithful men out there.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by YOLO1(m): 2:13pm On May 16, 2016
To start with, what has age gotten to do with the joy of marriage? You will be 27 by August so what? So u must settle for less cos of that. As to ur question, I won't say u should break up or not. You know what you want and what you need. If you're okay with him cheating on you, then you can go on with the proposed marriage. But I can bet you he will still cheat on you with more ladies aside this one u know after marriage. So think for urself and make the best choice. Wishing u d best.

2 Likes

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Nobody: 2:13pm On May 16, 2016
9jatatafo:


The truth is women don't know how to play their kpekus role.

Confirm.

But it's a viscous cycle.
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by D2diff: 2:13pm On May 16, 2016


The rule of the game is men can cheat because it is normal and women can cheat but they must not get caught


I don't have a problem with cheating. What's my own? It is zina in Islam but my problem is when people appriase a man who cheats but ridicule a woman who does the same. If I were to agree that it ia normal for men to cheat, why then do we have women that cheat? Is there something wrong with them or what? What is the difference between a man who has the emotional need of relieving himself with another woman and a woman who thinks her lover is better at sex than her husband?

cheesy cheesy cheesy

Let's continue to encourage infidelity on the part of men but don't remember to wake me up when you find your wife grinding another man.....that is a big if because women are more discreet at it than men.

1 Like

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Sanchase: 2:14pm On May 16, 2016
Tell him you are pregnant and its not his baby cheesy.

After a few mins tell him you were joking abt the pregnancy then talk to him about the girl saying if he don't stop you can't marry him.
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by gidjah(m): 2:14pm On May 16, 2016
skarlett:



I know this advice sounds really sincere to you but how do you know the bolded undecided
hahahaha see question?
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by 9jatatafo(m): 2:15pm On May 16, 2016
EgunMogaji:


Confirm.

But it's a viscous cycle.

Yeah it is. Love girls that speak in tongues on duty
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Taiwo20(m): 2:16pm On May 16, 2016
Because say I wan sign for Eyimba FC doesn't mean that I can play for Lobi Star FC as a charity match....

As long as I know my home is still and will remain Aba.
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by D2diff: 2:16pm On May 16, 2016
You are a very good pyschicsmiley




You should know.undecided
EgunMogaji:


I can spot kids from dysfunctional families a mile away grin

When you get the courage to type it do so, I don't okay guessing games. You see I'm a grown up and not a snort nosed runt.
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Nobody: 2:17pm On May 16, 2016
D2diff:
You are a very good pyschicsmiley




You should know.undecided

Hi kids, animaniacs is on grin
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by IRserveMyComent(f): 2:17pm On May 16, 2016
My anger is if a lady does this they would label her an olosho. My dear confront him with the evidence u have. If need b suspend everything briefly till you have trashed the issue out. Unless u are ready to tolerate cheating in ur home.

A broken engagement/relationship is better than a broken marriage.

1 Like

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by AreaFada2: 2:19pm On May 16, 2016
D2diff:
Women with self sufficient and gentle husbands do not cheat at all abiundecided

You know the funniest thing about this. Women tend to stick to just one extra marital partner while men might have a couple of them. It still doesn't change the fact that most women also cheat especaillw in Nigeriaundecided. I am not even talking about educated women, in fact it seems like uneducated women are more willing to try other men than educated ones.
Dude, we're advising a lady whose fiance cheats. Nobody has said some ladies don't cheat.

Remember that in a conservative society like 9ja, women cheating is mostly linked to poverty. And an educated woman is more likely to have a better job and earn more money than the uneducsted. The educated lady is also more likely to marry a better earner too.

On the average I mean, female infidelity is for some pecuniary benefit: employment/promotion, money, grades, gifts, all paid trips, etc.
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by D2diff: 2:19pm On May 16, 2016
So Another human being should become a back up and a second fiddle? How would it feel if another human turned you to an emergency solution?
Taiwo20:
Because say I wan sign for Eyimba FC doesn't mean that I can play for Lobi Star FC as a charity match....

As long as I know my home is still and will remain Aba.
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Nobody: 2:21pm On May 16, 2016
Op dont let all these overaged single ladies confuse you. undecided

1 Like

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by 99foxxy(f): 2:21pm On May 16, 2016
My dear sister sorry, for i no how you're feeling right now. please such a man will still cheat even in marriage, confront him, even though he will still deny. I want you to also know she's not the only girl he's cheating with. it's a good thing you know before hand, so my advice to you is, confront him, tell him your piece of mind and finally stop snooping through his phone. My dear all men are cheats by nature so our duty as women is to over look, endure or walk away. Don't kill your self for any man. Even as you're down, he's out there enjoying with other girls while you're dying emotionally, take it easy and do what your heart says. Sorry, the Lord is your strength.
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by PresVA: 2:21pm On May 16, 2016
asuustrike2009:
Don't marry him. Yes there's no perfect man or woman but in this case God has exposed his infidelity to you before marriage. I know for sure if it was a guy that posted this, all hell will let loose against the girl but they will suggest things like " love is blind", "patience" e.t.c if it was the female folk. You don't a prophet to tell that your fiancee isn't the right man for you
As in ehh.. most comments here are nauseating. .. These same people telling her to go ahead and marry a cheating partner will blame her tomorrow if she comes crying about how her husband impregnated someone or infected her with STD; they'll start asking her questions like whether the signs weren't there before they got married. ..

The signs are there now and they're telling her unfounded stuffs like "all men cheat" , "No perfect marriage", "The grass is not greener on the other side" bla bla bla
I pity those that bring their issues to nairaland. ..
I really wonder if the advise would have been same if it was a guy that caught his wife-to-be cheating...

@ ilovemylife , if you really love your life as you claim, then you know what to do...
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by onstelly(f): 2:21pm On May 16, 2016
EgunMogaji:


Any Nigerian husband in Nigeria will sleep with many women in the course of a marriage.

If you can't deal with that then stay single.

Who do you think is maintaining all those runs girls? The jobless single youths?

PS:

Apologies to your husband for invading his privacy and never do it again. My wife knows better.

Does he have the capacity to provide you a good home, does he have the capacity to provide a good future for the children?

Think. Oh and if you ask your friends then you're doomed. They'll give you feminist advices while they hide much more worse in their household.
Oga nawa oh, I didn't mean to sound rude but are you indirectly telling us you are cheating on your wife my runs girl,
And again is not about providing a good home but a happy one

1 Like

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Nobody: 2:22pm On May 16, 2016
"Hypocrisy is the contrivance of a false appearance of virtue or goodness, while concealing real character or inclinations, esp. with respect to religious and moral beliefs; hence in general sense, dissimulation, pretense, sham. It is the practice of engaging in the same behavior or activity for which one criticizes another. In moral psychology, it is the failure to follow one’s own expressed moral rules and principles.[1]"

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypocrisy

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