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Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? - Romance (6) - Nairaland

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Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Nobody: 2:24pm On May 16, 2016
catlova2:
Op dont let all these overaged single ladies confuse you. undecided

Three gbosas for you my man.

Misery loves company cheesy
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by SURElee(f): 2:26pm On May 16, 2016
One beautiful thing about relationship before the marriage gan gan is that the signs are always there, though some people ignore them even when adviced and when they can see those signs clearly.

Madam, don't come bck to NL with a long epistle of how your husband is bangng his ex girlfriend after marriage. And abeg I no wan hear say una drag una sef goIgando customary court go divorce o!

It's obvious you're willing to remain there since you're emphasizing you're 27yrs now.


God has been kind enough to show you signs that he would cheat on you in future. Except you'd rather drive jeeps, spend the cash and wear flashy clothes to display to society as. " MRS" while you lack emotional peace, totallove from your husband.


It's up to you Baby.
Peace out.

Marrage is sweet depending on the cutlery you choose to eat it with(depending on the man/ woman you choose to spend your life with)

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Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by joseph1832(m): 2:27pm On May 16, 2016
skarlett:



We wish to but if a suitable husband is not forthcoming, we won't break our neck. I'm going to ignore the insult but kindly respect yourself.

Thank you smiley


I hope you wouldn't call me a woman wrapper if I tell you this is the logic I subscribe to? I'm even thinking of having a baby mama. grin

1 Like

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Nobody: 2:27pm On May 16, 2016
onstelly:

Oga nawa oh, I didn't mean to sound rude but are you indirectly telling us you are cheating on your wife my runs girl,
And again is not about providing a good home but a happy one

1) you can be rude, it's your right, but you'll meet me at home cool

2) my private life is none of your damn bizwhacks. When I post my private life on Nairaland then you'll get to sink your fangs into matter.

It's about providing a good home, your husband is not responsible for your happiness. No man wants an "agbokoleri pantete". What's makes you happy? Sky diving, race car driving, charity, volunteering, commerce, etc do those things. Stop trying to make another human being the core of your happiness.

Don't worry, your seem young and that's the thing about age, it's a great educator.
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by jeje123(m): 2:29pm On May 16, 2016
KingAdeOluomo1:
@ ilovemylife see this is the truth about the matter arising here


But I will say you let him know by showing your evidences n just pretend to be really mad n watch his reactions if you feel his sorry about it then let it go it all part of life ....


I support dis advice jaweee honestly life is all about up and down throw the ball on the floor and let see what would happen

1 Like

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by D2diff: 2:29pm On May 16, 2016
I was expecting you to say something about educated vs uneducated women. It is an observation, it doesn't mean it is true. My observation was based on the fact that it is easier to find an uneducated woman with more than one husband than an educated one. Therefore saying women's infidelity is in return for a those kinda of favours is extremely flawed. And If I were to agree with you, would you mind telling me were why non-African women cheat?

AreaFada2:
Dude, we're advising a lady whose fiance cheats. Nobody has said some ladies don't cheat.

Remember that in a conservative society like 9ja, women cheating is mostly linked to poverty. And an educated woman is more likely to have a better job and earn more money than the uneducsted. The educated lady is also more likely to marry a better earner too.

On the average I mean, female unfidelity is for some pecuniary benefit: employment/promotion, money, grades, gifts, all paid trips, etc.

1 Like

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by pet4ril(f): 2:29pm On May 16, 2016
emeraldknytt:
It is no new thing that to-be marriages are put on hold temporarily or permanently, and yours is no strange case either. First and foremost, You should be thankful for coming across a truth that might hurt so bad yet transform your would-be moments of agony into pure tranquility and sheer bliss. That 'sly fox' took you for a 'dumb bunny', which evidently you aren't (based on the next course of action you're going to take), he toyed with you, took. you for granted and wishes to put a ring of doom in your finger. What nonsense! If you dont want to look silly, confront him like you'd if you caught them in the act. Let him know literally, there are millions of elligible suitors out there. Technically, such a weirdo has nothing really concrete and palpable to offer speaking of nuptial happiness. Unless you want to get wedded to Bill Cosby Jr, dont rethink and walk down the aisle........... of regret.
waooooo lovely and its coming from a male as well..... Thank you so much for not using the popular slogan that men are polygamous in nature... Thumb up for you mannnn

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Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by collitexnaira(m): 2:30pm On May 16, 2016
All you guys advising her to marry a cheating man, can you as a man marry a cheating woman
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by bigerboy200: 2:30pm On May 16, 2016
U are wearing the shoes..so only u can tell where it hurts...The choice to stay or leave is fully yours.. If we say u shuld walk out of the fully matured relationship, who then will u marry as soon as possible,since u r obviously scared of your age..if we say u should stay and bear the brunt,we also won't b dere when u are crying over an eventual randy and cheating husband.... mind u tho..A man who isn't cheating today might be a Fela 2moro,Likewise, sum1 who is cheating today might as well be a future faithful husband..... I hav had a few relationships( youthful exuberance driven) whereby my main chicks knew I was cheating on a regular..In fact, I tell dem straight away that I am not the faithful type,but I make dem feel like d special one while I had my other flings,some were cool with it, others weren't.... but with time I changed to b a very responsible guy.A..He could change tomorrow and he could get worse....just talk to him in love and ask him if he ever hav plans of being responsible and faithful,also explain to him how is randy acts is affecting n hurting ur emotions.....mind u...Tiwa Savage matter still dey hot as fresh bread oh..

1 Like

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by joseph1832(m): 2:31pm On May 16, 2016
ilovemylife:
I met a guy of 31 through my elder sister, last year February. He started asking me out but because I just came out of a bad relationship, I told him that I am not yet ready to go into a relationship now but he hanged on until August, by then we had become good friends and we started dating.

But three months into the relationship I noticed that my boyfriend has a thing with a lady that stays in the same street with me, a lady I have known all my life cos we grew up together, I confronted him and he told me that it was just a Fling and nothing more, so I told him to please stop whatever he is doing with the girl because we know each other and he promised too. I trusted him to because I can't be going around checking up on a man old enough to take care of himself. So during his birthday this year, he told me the girl called him to wish him happy birthday and asked him hope she will be getting an invite for the party, so he asked me if he should invite her, I told him he can that I don't have a problem with that. So he invited her for the birthday party and she came for the party and my boyfriend introduced me to her as his girlfriend, in that same party my boyfriend gave me the surprise of my life when he asked me to marry him and I accepted.

We are now planning for our traditional wedding which is coming up July but I was shocked to find out that my husband to be is still sleeping with that same girl because I stumble on their whatsapp chat. I feel like my world is crashing before my very eyes, I am so confused, what should I do. I haven't confronted him yet and I am not ready to because I don't want another series of lies and deceit. This is man that has taken very good care of my financial but what of emotional and again it's not all about money for me because I am not going to be a poor wife. Should I walk out of this relationship and cancel the wedding plans? I am so confused now, because if he truly loves me as he claims, he should be able to respect me, another question I wanted to ask him is this, why that lady.

Please nairalanders, what should I do, confront him or what, I have even discussed this with any of my family member. And since this incident I have been very down, so many thought have been crossing my mind.

NB: will be 27 by August
Please listen to me, and listen very good. If cheating annoys you, then don't marry him because I can assure you that he will still continue to cheat on you after you marry him. But, if you can tolerate it, then go ahead and marry him.

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Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Nobody: 2:31pm On May 16, 2016
skarlett:



shocked shocked shockedNo kidding, whoever shows their love by cheating on a prospective partner undecided

U quoted me wrong...

i said "Cheating is not enough to cancel the plans if you truly love him and vice versa".

i did not say the guy is showing her love by cheating on her... i said cheating is not enough an excuse to cancel the wedding plans

i also went further to say that "Aint saying she shouldn't express her hurts ..." and this simply means i am not in support of what the guy did and she has a right to air her grievance .

Capisce? smiley

1 Like

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Countrygirl(f): 2:31pm On May 16, 2016
olac21:


Cmon not that she's not happy with the man she's just hurt!you guys should encourage her a bit to give the guy one more chance and preparations are at top-notch,so she should calm down and engage the guy in a one-on-one talk!that's it dear!
All am saying is that, her hapiness should be her priority. I didn't tell her to leave the man.
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by pet4ril(f): 2:31pm On May 16, 2016
JustOzito:
do you love him?
what has her loving him got to do with the situation?
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by CuteMorriz: 2:32pm On May 16, 2016
skarlett:



We wish to but if a suitable husband is not forthcoming, we won't break our neck. I'm going to ignore the insult but kindly respect yourself.

Thank you smiley


Then stop the jargon "Marriage is not for everyone "...because neither have you seen a full grown lady nor a young single lady who will attest that marriage is not for them...I did not insult you...I only wanted to alert you so that you stop spewing such...jargon
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by joseph1832(m): 2:33pm On May 16, 2016
mimzy:


U quoted me wrong...

i said "Cheating is not enough to cancel the plans if you truly love him and vice versa".

i did not say the guy is showing her love by cheating on her... i said cheating is not enough an excuse to cancel the wedding plans

i also went further to say that "Aint saying she shouldn't express her hurts ..." and this simply means i am not in support of what the guy did and she has a right to air her grievance .

Capisce? smiley
You think? I believe if she hates it when her husband to be, cheats on her, then she should cancel, better save herself the headache of complaining all over social media.
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by onstelly(f): 2:34pm On May 16, 2016
EgunMogaji:


1) you can be rude, it's your right, but you'll meet me at home cool

2) my private life is none of your damn bizwhacks. When I post my private life on Nairaland then you'll get to sink your fangs into matter.

It's about providing a good home. Don't worry, your seem young and that's the thing about age, it's a great educator.
Am not as young as you think , so forget the looks but what am saying in essence is this, in as much as I wouldn't advice her to cancel her marriage plans. You sounded as if what the guy did was right and she doesn't have any right to be hurt, let's all try to be truth all the time and condemn what is wrong. He is cheating with someone close to her, someone he promised not to contact again haba!

Guess if it's a girl that cheated now, all hell will be let loose, anyways that my 2cent. Do have wonderful day
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Itsmenyou: 2:34pm On May 16, 2016
Madam, he will continue to cheat. Can you live with it? That's what you will need to answer, and by yourself. It may not always be this girl. A couple of days, weeks, months, or years down the line, it will be some other girl, or a handful of other girls, or a whole community of girls in different area codes, depending on how buoyant he becomes.

The only premise for which he will change is because he makes up his mind to, backed up by divine help, if he is so inclined.

You cannot change him, your confrontation will not. If you decide to go ahead (and something tells me you will; you're already counting how old you are) for your peace of mind, and your children, be prepared to NOT SNOOP. Hopefully, he will keep his misdemeanour away from the home he shares with you, or not. Time will tell.

Hope you make the right decision for you.

Cheers!
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Nobody: 2:35pm On May 16, 2016
tbh joseph...

How many men nowadays don't cheat??

At the end... you have a point..if she can't cope, she should cancel her plans to marry him.

joseph1832:
You think? I believe if she hates it when her husband to be, cheats on her, then she should cancel, better save herself the headache of complaining all over social media.
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by bigerboy200: 2:36pm On May 16, 2016
bigerboy200:
U are wearing the shoes..so only u can tell where it hurts...The choice to stay or leave is fully yours.. If we say u shuld walk out of the fully matured relationship, who then will u marry as soon as possible,since u r obviously scared of your age..if we say u should stay and bear the brunt,we also won't b dere when u are crying over an eventual randy and cheating husband.... mind u tho..A man who isn't cheating today might be a Fela 2moro,Likewise, sum1 who is cheating today might as well be a future faithful husband..... I hav had a few relationships( youthful exuberance driven) whereby my main chicks knew I was cheating on a regular..In fact, I tell dem straight away that I am not the faithful type,but I make dem feel like d special one while I had my other flings,some were cool with it, others weren't.... but with time I changed to b a very responsible guy.A..He could change tomorrow and he could get worse....just talk to him in love and ask him if he ever hav plans of being responsible and faithful,also explain to him how is randy act is affecting n hurting ur emotions.....mind u...Tiwa Savage matter still dey fresh as hot bread oh..
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by afoo02(m): 2:37pm On May 16, 2016
queenoflafia:
Don't cancel your wedding plans pls.there is no perfect man and neither is there a perfect woman.just talk to him and let him know how what he is doing is affecting u.
The other day I said it was in their DNA,they called for my head
You've been cheated from someone before
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by joseph1832(m): 2:38pm On May 16, 2016
rheether:
You see husband and you're complaining. Babe go ahead and marry him jhoor. He will still cheat on you anyway so it's a no win situation.
Men I think I like you for this fantastic post you made.
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Taiwo20(m): 2:39pm On May 16, 2016
D2diff:
So Another human being should become a back up and a second fiddle? How would it feel if another human turned you to an emergency solution?


The other lady is just warning his bed....that doesn't mean he doesn't love his girl or won't marry her....give him time,he would change
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Nobody: 2:40pm On May 16, 2016
mimzy:


U quoted me wrong...

On the contrary, I emboldened a part that caught my attention

i said "Cheating is not enough to cancel the plans if you truly love him and vice versa".

What I got from here is that he loves her (vice versa) so I asked, lemme rephrase, do people show their love by cheating?

i did not say the guy is showing her love by cheating on her... i said cheating is not enough an excuse to cancel the wedding plans
i also went further to say that "Aint saying she shouldn't express her hurts ..." and this simply means i am not in support of what the guy did and she has a right to air her grievance

The above should suffice, I never said you were in support of his cheating

Capisce? smiley

Non smiley
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by KingAdeOluomo1(m): 2:40pm On May 16, 2016
jeje123:
I support dis advice jaweee honestly life is all about up and down throw the ball on the floor and let see what would happen
life is too short jawe broda
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by poj(m): 2:40pm On May 16, 2016
Mologi:
Eni lori o ni fila... ..

Dnt marry him because u will see another man that doesnt sleep around.. ..

Because Na only u be the woman God created with punna...



Mo n wa iyawo ooo

Mr Mologi, with this your advice you fit no see iyawo for Nairaland o! lol
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by kulex2k1(m): 2:41pm On May 16, 2016
You already know the decisions ur gonna take... the writing has always been on the wall and boldly written for u to see.

Better not listen to some of d folks her giving advices like they are all saints...lol.

and No matter what anybody tells u here... ull still go ahead with what ur going to do
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Nobody: 2:41pm On May 16, 2016
ilovemylife:

Thanks for the advice
I am going to confront him and it's going to be today

Good decision then, watch his reaction and get a firm promise it'd never happen again ever! You might also want to discuss this with an experienced adult who isn't family. Truth is it's you putting on the shoe and knowing where it pinches, but most of these guys ranting about how you should cancel a wedding & "dump his ass" don't even know a thing about relationships talk less of marriage. Nairaland is the best and also the worst place to seek for advice.
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Nobody: 2:41pm On May 16, 2016
onstelly:

Am not as young as you think , so forget the looks but what am saying in essence is this, in as much as I wouldn't advice her to cancel her marriage plans. You sounded as if what the guy did was right and she doesn't have any right to be hurt, let's all try to be truth all the time and condemn what is wrong.

Guys if it's a girl that cheated now, all hell will be let loose, anyways that my 2cent. Do have wonderful day

Your age is relative, you still seem young.

Please quote where I said what the guy did was right. You're simply interjecting your own preconceived feminist agenda. Nothing wrong with that but be honest when debating.

I'm very wordy and afraid of nothing on two legs. You'll never have to make up words for me, I say what I mean regardless of whose Ox is gored.

I frankly don't give a rats backside about this fairy tale but simply expressed my opinion. Wether or not they marry, Anigilaje will still continue grin

Anyone can cheat, you lot need to stop putting emphasis on cheating, everyone cheats. You, haven't you ever looked at Odunlade and had a shiver run through you? Isn't that cheating? Haven't you ever wished you were married to Dangote?

Be real yah all, be really real.

I'm going to have a fantastic day. It is written.
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by D2diff: 2:41pm On May 16, 2016
1) if he is a Christian, he is committing a sin
2) If he isn't, he is a hypocrite if he finds it hard to allow another person warms her bed.



Taiwo20:



The other lady is just warning his bed....that doesn't mean he doesn't love his girl or won't marry her....give him time,he would change
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by joseph1832(m): 2:41pm On May 16, 2016
mimzy:
tbh joseph...

How many men nowadays don't cheat??

At the end... you have a point..if she can't cope, she should cancel her plans to marry him.

I'm happy to tell you many of us don't cheat, and I'll have you know, myself, lezz and postmann are among the many, because we damn well make sure we date and marry women who won't turn out to be feminist man haters later on. smiley

2 Likes

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Nobody: 2:42pm On May 16, 2016
D2diff:
1) if he is a Christian, he is committing a sin
2) If he isn't, he is a hypocrite if he finds it hard to allow another person warms her bed.




Ah yes, here comes religion, what took you so long grin

What if they are traditionalists?
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Nobody: 2:43pm On May 16, 2016
joseph1832:
I hope you wouldn't call me a woman wrapper if I tell you this is the logic I subscribe to? I'm even thinking of having a baby mama. grin


Baby daddy Joe, abeg do make I come chop baby dedication rice grin grin grin

1 Like

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