Definition of poverty mentality and low self esteem

rheether:
You see husband and you're complaining. Babe go ahead and marry him jhoor. He will still cheat on you anyway so it's a no win situation.

JustOzito:
do you love him?

Love? With all dis drama? If it happens now we no go hear word again. She shouldnt manage anytin,drop the guy like its hot biko.

Refer to my number two

EgunMogaji:


Ah yes, here comes religion, what took you so long

What if they are traditionalists?

you have spoilt it with lezz's nick

Don't really know about you guys but lezz i laugh in spanish

joseph1832:
I'm happy to tell you many of us don't cheat, and I'll have you know, myself, lezz and postmann are among the many, because we damn well make sure we date and marry women who won't turn out to be feminist man haters later on.

skarlett:



Baby daddy Joe, abeg do make I come chop baby dedication rice

Nna nothing does you.

CuteMorriz:
Then stop the jargon "Marriage is not for everyone "...because neither have you seen a full grown lady nor a young single lady who will attest that marriage is not for them

Point of correction, I never said marriage is not for everyone. Yes, I know English is not your native language but try to hide your ignorance next time

[s]I did not insult you...I only wanted to alert you so that you stop spewing such...jargon[/s]

Thrash

mimzy:
you have spoilt it with lezz's nick

Don't really know about you guys but lezz i laugh in spanish

Ah lezz is an african by nature, and a man can never deny his nature.

ilovemylife:
I met a guy of 31 through my elder sister, last year February. He started asking me out but because I just came out of a bad relationship, I told him that I am not yet ready to go into a relationship now but he hanged on until August, by then we had become good friends and we started dating.

But three months into the relationship I noticed that my boyfriend has a thing with a lady that stays in the same street with me, a lady I have known all my life cos we grew up together, I confronted him and he told me that it was just a Fling and nothing more, so I told him to please stop whatever he is doing with the girl because we know each other and he promised too. I trusted him to because I can't be going around checking up on a man old enough to take care of himself. So during his birthday this year, he told me the girl called him to wish him happy birthday and asked him hope she will be getting an invite for the party, so he asked me if he should invite her, I told him he can that I don't have a problem with that. So he invited her for the birthday party and she came for the party and my boyfriend introduced me to her as his girlfriend, in that same party my boyfriend gave me the surprise of my life when he asked me to marry him and I accepted.

We are now planning for our traditional wedding which is coming up July but I was shocked to find out that my husband to be is still sleeping with that same girl because I stumble on their whatsapp chat. I feel like my world is crashing before my very eyes, I am so confused, what should I do. I haven't confronted him yet and I am not ready to because I don't want another series of lies and deceit. This is man that has taken very good care of my financial but what of emotional and again it's not all about money for me because I am not going to be a poor wife. Should I walk out of this relationship and cancel the wedding plans? I am so confused now, because if he truly loves me as he claims, he should be able to respect me, another question I wanted to ask him is this, why that lady.

Please nairalanders, what should I do, confront him or what, I have even discussed this with any of my family member. And since this incident I have been very down, so many thought have been crossing my mind.

NB: will be 27 by August

a lady , who wants a guy , does not only gets dumped, but right in front of her, the guy proposed to another lady who she knew. Haba! wet in you think say she go do ! revenge na!

she got you back for snatching her man( in her mind o), but you can get back at her by forgiving your man who had Ear lier proposed to you in front of her.

punish him for a while, make life hard for him, but forgive and forget, while trying to find a lasting solution to the issue.

you leave him now and you might end up Marrying someone better , or someone much worse!.

ilovemylife:

Thanks you, tears rolled down my eyes as I read this price, do you know the only person am really considering is my mum, how is she gonna take this if I tell her am not going to go ahead with this, we have gone deep into the preparation and so many things has been bought and paid for. I have never been this hurt my whole life

Ur Mum won't spend the rest if Her life with an adulterous husband ooooo U WILL.



I will advice U to interrogate Him (calm headedly)


It might just be that they only had sex chat.

Engage him in a meaningful conversation and find out his reaction. This is not enough reason to put a stop to the proposed wedding.

D2diff:
Refer to my number two

I'll rather not

JustOzito:
do you love him?

Ojuju calabar @dp

ilovemylife:
I met a guy of 31 through my elder sister, last year February. He started asking me out but because I just came out of a bad relationship, I told him that I am not yet ready to go into a relationship now but he hanged on until August, by then we had become good friends and we started dating.

But three months into the relationship I noticed that my boyfriend has a thing with a lady that stays in the same street with me, a lady I have known all my life cos we grew up together, I confronted him and he told me that it was just a Fling and nothing more, so I told him to please stop whatever he is doing with the girl because we know each other and he promised too. I trusted him to because I can't be going around checking up on a man old enough to take care of himself. So during his birthday this year, he told me the girl called him to wish him happy birthday and asked him hope she will be getting an invite for the party, so he asked me if he should invite her, I told him he can that I don't have a problem with that. So he invited her for the birthday party and she came for the party and my boyfriend introduced me to her as his girlfriend, in that same party my boyfriend gave me the surprise of my life when he asked me to marry him and I accepted.

We are now planning for our traditional wedding which is coming up July but I was shocked to find out that my husband to be is still sleeping with that same girl because I stumble on their whatsapp chat. I feel like my world is crashing before my very eyes, I am so confused, what should I do. I haven't confronted him yet and I am not ready to because I don't want another series of lies and deceit. This is man that has taken very good care of my financial but what of emotional and again it's not all about money for me because I am not going to be a poor wife. Should I walk out of this relationship and cancel the wedding plans? I am so confused now, because if he truly loves me as he claims, he should be able to respect me, another question I wanted to ask him is this, why that lady.

Please nairalanders, what should I do, confront him or what, I have even discussed this with any of my family member. And since this incident I have been very down, so many thought have been crossing my mind.

NB: will be 27 by August

Calm down and let it simmer down before you take any decision. Like you said,the point isnt even the cheating but the fact that you have spoken to him about this particular gurl and he still went ahead. THis goes a long way to show he has no regards for your feelings and lacks self discipline..Didi he not think of how you wuld feel if you found out,im not saying anybody is above mistakes,buh that you have pointed it now means he shouldnt do it again.Evry1 telling you to go ahead will not be there with you in the marriage,its you and you alone,no 1 will be there when you cry in the night because you are hurt,ask yourself,are you ready to keep battling with trust issues as far as he is concerned,because i know right now,you dont trust him one bit,are you ready to keep bothering your head about where and who he is with the moment he is out of your sight?He is definitely sexually attracted to that lady,what if in the process ,he gets her pregnant,will you cope with that?After marriage,what is the guarantee that he wont keep going back to her?Ladies can be desperate you know.

Dont be rash about your decisions,i say dont confront but talk to him about it,you can put the wedding preparations on hold,heaven will not fall because of that. Your life isnt defined by marriage,dont join the number of women who on daily basis regret their marriages,You are seeing signs now,set things right before going further.

Some girls sha, wetin you find go him phone. I pray hypertension doesn't kill you. As for me ooooo, for a guy to propose to you in front of everybody simply shows he cares.

skarlett:


Point of correction, I never said marriage is not for everyone. Yes, I know English is not your native language but try to hide your ignorance next time



Thrash

For ur mind na you dey feel happy abi? Loooooolllllll...smh

Remember to update us when you confront him biko. We await...

My dear, I feel ur pain cos a lady too. But first and foremost what were u doing that made u stumble on d chat? Like I always tell my friends this is Nigeria and in this country its a mans world going through ur spouse's phone when u know you ain't ready for d outcome is suicidal, secondly if u leave him now what makes u feel that d next guy won't be worse off? I'd advice u confront him but in a cool manner, make him understand that u love him so much and this is hurting u, show him love and be understanding. Do ur best and leave d rest for God. U can't run away from ur relationship now cos of this if it were marriage would u quit? Hope to see ur wedding pics soon. Happy married life in advance my dear sister. Wish u all the best

Why are you so scared? You think women do not desire other men?

EgunMogaji:


I'll rather not

D2diff:
Definition of poverty mentality and low self esteem

Na lie! That is the definition of a woman who knows what she wants, and she's prepared to look the other way, in other to get it.

Life is not diamonds and pearls, you know.

What is your fear? That he might cheat on you, ofcourse he will. Is up to you if u can handle that but the truth is that a lot of them do.

PresVA:
As in ehh.. most comments here are nauseating. .. These same people telling her to go ahead and marry a cheating partner will blame her tomorrow if she comes crying about how her husband impregnated someone or infected her with STD; they'll start asking her questions like whether the signs weren't there before they got married. ..

The signs are there now and they're telling her unfounded stuffs like "all men cheat" , "No perfect marriage", "The grass is not greener on the other side" bla bla bla
I pity those that bring their issues to nairaland. ..
I really wonder if the advise would have been same if it was a guy that caught his wife-to-be cheating...

@ ilovemylife , if you really love your life as you claim, then you know what to do...

Thank you

It is very simple, God has just opend ur eyes to wat u are about to get into, so it is left for u to decid on wat to do. If u can share and manage ur husband wit another woman den go ahead and marry him but if u can not my dear run for ur life.

queenoflafia:
Don't cancel your wedding plans pls.there is no perfect man and neither is there a perfect woman.just talk to him and let him know how what he is doing is affecting u.
The other day I said it was in their DNA,they called for my head

Its not in their DNA bt its stupidity n greed dat makes some men hold diamond n continue searching for bronze. Dat start wat u can't finish, since he is lying now u have options wat do u tink will happen wen u marry him? Any man dat cheats is not a man bt a coward

D2diff:
Why are you so scared? You think women do not desire other men?

Trust me on this, I have nothing to fear.

Women desire women, women desire men.

Nothing new under the sun.

Didn't TJ just tell the whole world that his wife and mother of his child polished about 5 or so men?

All your Nollywood yeyebrities that has turned husband snatching into a sport nko?


Puleeezeee

now were husband de scares like dollars.....follow ur mind and bear de consequences of ur actions

I disagree.

I am not saying women should say no to me who cheat. Wetin be my own? There is nothing wrong in that arrangement. If I find Nestle with a man who intends to marry another wife, na to leave or create a proper contractual arrangement. I can never give my all to such a man.

However I won't allow a woman to advice others to suck it up nor would I allow a woman to advice others to just leave except of course it is affecting her health.

joseph1832:
Na lie! That is the definition of a woman who knows what she wants, and its prepared to look the other way, in other to get it.

Live is not diamonds and pearls, you know.

[quote author=ilovemylife post=45662591]I met a guy of 31 through my elder sister, last year February. He started asking me out but because I just came out of a bad relationship, I told him that I am not yet ready to go into a relationship now but he hanged on until August, by then we had become good friends and we started dating.

But three months into the relationship I noticed that my boyfriend has a thing with a lady that stays in the same street with me, a lady I have known all my life cos we grew up together, I confronted him and he told me that it was just a Fling and nothing more, so I told him to please stop whatever he is doing with the girl because we know each other and he promised too. I trusted him to because I can't be going around checking up on a man old enough to take care of himself. So during his birthday this year, he told me the girl called him to wish him happy birthday and asked him hope she will be getting an invite for the party, so he asked me if he should invite her, I told him he can that I don't have a problem with that. So he invited her for the birthday party and she came for the party and my boyfriend introduced me to her as his girlfriend, in that same party my boyfriend gave me the surprise of my life when he asked me to marry him and I accepted.

We are now planning for our traditional wedding which is coming up July but I was shocked to find out that my husband to be is still sleeping with that same girl because I stumble on their whatsapp chat. I feel like my world is crashing before my very eyes, I am so confused, what should I do. I haven't confronted him yet and I am not ready to because I don't want another series of lies and deceit. This is man that has taken very good care of my financial but what of emotional and again it's not all about money for me because I am not going to be a poor wife. Should I walk out of this relationship and cancel the wedding plans? I am so confused now, because if he truly loves me as he claims, he should be able to respect me, another question I wanted to ask him is this, why that lady.

Please nairalanders, what should I do, confront him or what, I have even discussed this with any of my family member. And since this incident I have been very down, so many thought have been crossing my mind.

NB: will be 27 by August
If you're yet to see a movie (War Room) you need to see the movie ASAP because it answered all your questions both asked plus unasked, Trust me.

It seems like we are saying the same thing.

EgunMogaji:


Trust me on this, I have nothing to fear.

Women desire women, women desire men.

Nothing new under the sun.

Didn't TJ just tell the whole world that his wife and mother of his child polished about 5 or so men?

All your Nollywood yeyebrities that has turned husband snatching into a sport nko?


Puleeezeee

Babe go and marry, men's DNA are wired to be polygamous by nature. Its not a curse you can never find a man that doesn't cheat. Your guy just want the best of both worlds. I'll advise you confront him and threaten to call off the wedding (but don't) and get some people from both sides involved that will straighten his head because before a man can make a decision to marry you, you can be sure he's madly in love and no woman wishes that the man ever recovers from this type of madness.

That's one, on the other hand ask yourself the right questions and ask God to lead you. I said that owing to a part of your write up that mentioned something about finance and being a poor wife. Enough said

Look at what you have done

ilovemylife:
....

Hope you are giving him our daily bread
On a serious note:
God just gave you an expo of what to expect in your marriage. It is left to decide whether or not you can cope with it. But I can tell you that 98% of men cheat. Its in our DNA.
Yesterday I read a post about a woman @ 61 still searching for a perfect man www.nairaland.com/3107286/yemi-fawaz-cant-marry-poor
So my dear, pls don't put off the wedding plans.
#Singing: oko (husband) won lode o by sound sultan

ilovemylife:
I met a guy of 31 through my elder sister, last year February. He started asking me out but because I just came out of a bad relationship, I told him that I am not yet ready to go into a relationship now but he hanged on until August, by then we had become good friends and we started dating.

But three months into the relationship I noticed that my boyfriend has a thing with a lady that stays in the same street with me, a lady I have known all my life cos we grew up together, I confronted him and he told me that it was just a Fling and nothing more, so I told him to please stop whatever he is doing with the girl because we know each other and he promised too. I trusted him to because I can't be going around checking up on a man old enough to take care of himself. So during his birthday this year, he told me the girl called him to wish him happy birthday and asked him hope she will be getting an invite for the party, so he asked me if he should invite her, I told him he can that I don't have a problem with that. So he invited her for the birthday party and she came for the party and my boyfriend introduced me to her as his girlfriend, in that same party my boyfriend gave me the surprise of my life when he asked me to marry him and I accepted.

We are now planning for our traditional wedding which is coming up July but I was shocked to find out that my husband to be is still sleeping with that same girl because I stumble on their whatsapp chat. I feel like my world is crashing before my very eyes, I am so confused, what should I do. I haven't confronted him yet and I am not ready to because I don't want another series of lies and deceit. This is man that has taken very good care of my financial but what of emotional and again it's not all about money for me because I am not going to be a poor wife. Should I walk out of this relationship and cancel the wedding plans? I am so confused now, because if he truly loves me as he claims, he should be able to respect me, another question I wanted to ask him is this, why that lady.

Please nairalanders, what should I do, confront him or what, I have even discussed this with any of my family member. And since this incident I have been very down, so many thought have been crossing my mind.

NB: will be 27 by August

They are just sleeping together nothing more dont jst walk away like dt u might become a perpetual loser. remember u no get much time