mimzy:
you have spoilt it with lezz's nick

Don't really know about you guys but le.zz i laugh in spanish

A man may be born with many character failings.

Pretty girls with intelligence and well sculpted body alignment is my only defect.

Your ass and eyes make me rue death for once.
If you only knew how compelling your body is, you won't lose hope of fück-redeeming me.

Op I think u should confront that evil friend of urs. And warn her if u ever catch her around ur man, u'd deal mercilessly with her.


Den continue the wedding plans with him, husband scarce oooooooooooooooooooooo.

Tosinayoko:

My dear I understand you... chat only cannot confirm that he is still sleeping with her, though the chat alone isn't good. For a guy to propose marriage to you, sister, he loves you poo
Don't mind all these ladies under 20 saying stuff out of ignorance. Call him and iron out issues with him, I'm very sure he wants you and not that other girl.
I'm 32+, not yet married because the one i actually respect not even love has not given me her heart yet. Pls communication is the key. He respect you!
Guyz don't marry whom they do not respect.

I know what I saw in his chat and if I say he is sleeping with the same girl, he is. We don't stay in the same city because I work in the state capital and he works in a town in the same state . So most times I am not always around, right now he knows I haven't been myself and he has been asking what's wrong. I plan going down to see him after work today and talk things over with him.
Just that I am very much hurt like now.

@OP

BON.

rheether:
You see husband and you're complaining. Babe go ahead and marry him jhoor. He will still cheat on you anyway so it's a no win situation.

She should go ahead and marry the guy and get killed by age 30!! It's obvious he aint gonna change as she has already pointed it out to him but he is still seeing her.

I wish her goodluck.

I don't get it, when a guy can't get any girl to fool around with they turn to vaseline. Then they finally manage and get the girl of their dreams, why don't they turn back to their beloved vaseline, at least instead of cheating

mizlovette:
My dear, I feel ur pain cos a lady too. But first and foremost what were u doing that made u stumble on d chat? Like I always tell my friends this is Nigeria and in this country its a mans world going through ur spouse's phone when u know you ain't ready for d outcome is suicidal, secondly if u leave him now what makes u feel that d next guy won't be worse off? I'd advice u confront him but in a cool manner, make him understand that u love him so much and this is hurting u, show him love and be understanding. Do ur best and leave d rest for God. U can't run away from ur relationship now cos of this if it were marriage would u quit? Hope to see ur wedding pics soon. Happy married life in advance my dear sister. Wish u all the best

Honestly I don't know what happened that day, don't use to go through his phone, I don't even have time because we don't stay in the same town, I work in the state capital. I really appreciate your advice

I would if I were you. I will call it quits, I can't start early in marriage to be coping with a wandering di.ck. It was someone like him that was bragging about how he cheated on his wife right from their wedding night. I don't know what's wrong with some men, few months to the wedding they'll still be busy running after other girls for relationships.



Discuss it with him though, let him know you know all he has been doing and you want to call it quits. If he finds his concubine so irresistible, he should marry her not trying to eat his cake and have it.

But if you know you can cope with an unrepentant cheat then move on, It is only a matter of time before the shameless woman you claim you know will start plotting means of destroying whatever you have.

The only thing I still find hard to understand,is why people can't just be responsible enough,when they are in a relationship. Too many dishonest boys/girls,men/women everywhere. Building solid relationships these days,seems like an herculean task. I'd advice you put things on hold. I personally,won't even go further with a cheating partner. I can't give myself hbp for nothing,and cannot dedicate precious time to checking/monitoring if I'm being cheated on. I deserve better.

Hmmm, @ ilovemylife, Marriage is a deal and if you enter thinking he will change after marriage that not possible. Cheating is cheating, either with someone you know or not. My advice is for you to be calm and be polite when asking him.

If it is true, take a break and get yourself in order. what you saw is a TEST that says 'CAN YOU HANDLE THIS IN MARRIAGE?.

Pray to the God to heal your broken heart. You need to take things slowly for now. God is love. peace

But how about talking to the girl in question when you girls are having fun. Not on the phone though. Like facial chat... Let her understand.

She should be reasonable,..
Sorry about your predicament

That Ȋ̝̊̅§ the price women pay when the check their boyfriends,husband to be,and husbands phone.women be guilded

Did anyone force you?

But truth me told, we are our own worst enemy, shebi it was in front of her that the guy propose to this girl. Yet she still dey sleep with the guy. Some women are worthless, I can't be comfortable being a man's play thing oh!

Ilovemylife I will advice you to trend with care, don't make any rash decision oh, talk to him, you can put the marriage on hold for now to clear your head but don't cancel it at all, unless he didn't show any sign of repenting from his evil ways, dealing with a cheating partner can be stressful cos I have been there and I know what's up

He proposed to you and not her,
He has been taking care of you and not her
He is paying your dowry and not her
You would be his wife and not her
Put your card on the table and take out Love! Who is winning and who's loosing! Be smart and don't throw your life away because of this.
Show him the message and express your disappointment with respect.
Cancelling your wedding is not an option.
At the end of the day you would be the queen and she is just a call girl!
You should not be going through your man' phone! What do you expect to find?

If this is not good enough, leave him come come marry me! I don't cheat but I have about 25 close girlfriends.

ilovemylife:
I


met a guy of 31 through my elder sister, last year February. He started asking me out but because I just came out of a bad relationship, I told him that I am not yet ready to go into a relationship now but he hanged on until August, by then we had become good friends and we started dating.

But three months into the relationship I noticed that my boyfriend has a thing with a lady that stays in the same street with me, a lady I have known all my life cos we grew up together, I confronted him and he told me that it was just a Fling and nothing more, so I told him to please stop whatever he is doing with the girl because we know each other and he promised too. I trusted him to because I can't be going around checking up on a man old enough to take care of himself. So during his birthday this year, he told me the girl called him to wish him happy birthday and asked him hope she will be getting an invite for the party, so he asked me if he should invite her, I told him he can that I don't have a problem with that. So he invited her for the birthday party and she came for the party and my boyfriend introduced me to her as his girlfriend, in that same party my boyfriend gave me the surprise of my life when he asked me to marry him and I accepted.

We are now planning for our traditional wedding which is coming up July but I was shocked to find out that my husband to be is still sleeping with that same girl because I stumble on their whatsapp chat. I feel like my world is crashing before my very eyes, I am so confused, what should I do. I haven't confronted him yet and I am not ready to because I don't want another series of lies and deceit. This is man that has taken very good care of my financial but what of emotional and again it's not all about money for me because I am not going to be a poor wife. Should I walk out of this relationship and cancel the wedding plans? I am so confused now, because if he truly loves me as he claims, he should be able to respect me, another question I wanted to ask him is this, why that lady.

Please nairalanders, what should I do, confront him or what, I have even discussed this with any of my family member. And since this incident I have been very down, so many thought have been crossing my mind.

NB: will be 27 by August

Nice reply dear.....the fact that you are 27 shldnt ever let u get desperate or settle for any less than you deserve....if a man that just proposed to you and you are not married to yet has the effontry to do something like this.....he is never changing even after marriage....now you can confront him and he wld b sorry...thats cos you are not married yet....so what do you think would happen after you are married to him and he continues?....besides would you really be comfortable walking down the aisle with this guy knowing he can comfortably repeat this?....

ilovemylife:

My problem isn't about him cheating on me but doing it with a girl I have known a my life, we grew up together although we don't talk to each other, to me that's disrespecting me after giving me his word that he isn't gonna have anything to do with her again
Do think that's the kinda of man I wanna spend the rest of my life with. I am 27yrs yes but marriage doesn't define me. Thanks anyway

@ ilovemylife: Your choice dear. You can either make up with him or break up the wedding plans.

LOL and if the other lady sabi service Bobo wella and do pass am nko? wetin go happen?

dyadeleye:
You don't need to back out of the wedding sis, tactically turn the lady(old gf) to your friend and let her know you got wind of all the sexual relationship she is having with your husband to be...make her see reasons to leave your man to you.
Then that same night, give the blockhead some great sex...Bleep his Brain out like a porn star...afterward, discuss the issue of the girl with him....trust me, he's gonna change after that.

NB: and if he doesn't, you know what to do .....

bringbackourGEJ:
Did anyone force you?

That's insensitive

When it comes to infidelity stuff God will overlook some area on the judgment day... there are 2 qualities of ladies Wc we guys consider and it's rare to see a single body carrying both qualities... A lady dats good in BED and the one dats good at Home, how do we balance the equation?

HoneyB10:

That's insensitive

[b]
@ ilovemylife
Unfortunately, cheating is a problem that sticks around no matter how many times and how penitent he may sound if he admits to it. Reminds me of an adage that says no matter what you do to a cat, it would still steal fish because its attracted by the eyes not its back that you beat on.

Marriage is no games my dear, its better to be single than be in a relationship that is filled with suspicion, hate feelings for the one you are supposed to love above all. Your feeling of insecurity is worse still as you can not police a full grown man.

If you decide to go on, bear in mind you would still have to trust him if you want to love him. Any reason to make you doubt his honesty will take years to regain your trust and confidence for him again.

Forget about financial involvement and all that's already in for the marriage. Just think, what if he contracts a disease and transfers it to you, would money and all that is now involved matter anymore to you?

Imagine him bringing home a child and asks for your forgiveness are you ready to foster a child not yours.

In as much as I am not trying to discourage you but painting the different scenarios that can play out in the future.

There are still men who are chaste and they are out there if infidelity means much to you.

My candid advice to you is don't go on with this marriage plans, as this would be one of the recurring decimals you would still see.

Above all pray and ask for God's help in your desire to get married and seek an experienced marriage counselor for this and other marriage engagement plans.
[/b]

kaykad:
LOL and if the other lady sabi service Bobo wella and do pass am nko? wetin go happen?

There is something we called upgrade... She go need step up her game noni.....no champion forever...ool

Why should he cheat with any lady at all...

Well said....

HaneefahRN:
I would if I were you. I will call it quits, I can't start early in marriage to be coping with a wandering di.ck. It was someone like him that was bragging about how he cheated on his wife right from their wedding night. I don't know what's wrong with some men, few months to the wedding they'll still be busy running after other girls for relationships.



Discuss it with him though, let him know you know all he has been doing and you want to call it quits. If he finds his concubine so irresistible, he should marry her not trying to eat his cake and have it.

But if you know you can cope with an unrepentant cheat then move on, It is only a matter of time before the shameless woman you claim you know will start plotting means of destroying whatever you have.

bringbackourGEJ:

Yes nah, the poor girl is hurting and you are talking another thing
Your username though

lekankolade:
When it comes to infidelity stuff God will overlook some area on the judgment day... there are 2 qualities of ladies Wc we guys consider and it's rare to see a single body carrying both qualities... A lady dats good in BED and the one dats good at Home, how do we balance the equation?

What are you now saying

D2diff:
I was expecting you to say something about educated vs uneducated women. It is an observation, it doesn't mean it is true. My observation was based on the fact that it is easier to find an uneducated woman with more than one husband than an educated one. Therefore saying women's infidelity is in return for a those kinda of favours is extremely flawed. And If I were to agree with you, would you mind telling me were why non-African women cheat?

You mentioned Nigerian women especially cheating and I mentioned to you that Nigeria is a conservative society before I talked about infidelity being more common among the poorer and less educated 9ja women as you already alluded to.

Conservative society means that the social consequences of adultery are severe. If poverty was less, our conservative nature means far fewer women would take that risk.

How many bank workers or telco workers are caught snatching cellphones or wallets from commuters at Mushin or Oshodi? Virtually none. Poverty has social consequences across the board.

To begin with, when chosing a partner, a Nigerian female bank manager is already more selective than a lady selling corn by the roadside. Because the corn seller needs every economic help she can get, the bank manager far less so.

Now regarding non-African women like the Swedes, dutch or Canadians, would you say they live in conservative societies like 9ja?

Even if they cheat and divorce , they will still get child support, alimony and other social safety net provisions from the state if needs be.

D2diff:
Definition of poverty mentality and low self esteem

lol.... well said.....Some females are the reason why all females suffer....

D2diff:
Definition of poverty mentality and low self esteem

Poverty? No. Low self esteem? Hell No. If only you know what the pressure is like.

I agree that the consequences are the reasons some women are deterred and that applies to some women irrespective of location and colour. However it does not negate the fact that women cheat.

I am not really concerned about the causes so I am sorry I won't be arguing with you on that. I am more interested in the reality which affirms that women cheat and this include those women married to richer and sometimes young men.

AreaFada2:


You mentioned Nigerian women especially cheating and I mentioned to you that Nigeria is a conservative society before I talked about infidelity being more common among the poorer and less educated 9ja women as you already alluded to.

Conservative society means that the social consequences of adultery are severe. If poverty was less, our conservative nature means far fewer women would take that risk.

How many bank workers or telco workers are caught snatching cellphones or wallets from commuters at Mushin or Oshodi? Virtually none. Poverty has social consequences across the board.

To begin with, when chosing a partner, a Nigerian female bank manager is already more selective than a lady selling corn by the roadside. Because the corn seller needs every economic help she can get, the bank manager far less so.

Now regarding non-African women like the Swedes, dutch or Canadians, would you say they live in conservative societies like 9ja?

Even if they cheat and divorce , they will still get child support, alimony and other social safety net provisions from the state if needs be.

ilovemylife:

Thanks you, tears rolled down my eyes as I read this price, do you know the only person am really considering is my mum, how is she gonna take this if I tell her am not going to go ahead with this, we have gone deep into the preparation and so many things has been bought and paid for. I have never been this hurt my whole life

Rex gave you the best advice ever. Its sad that some chics are consoling themselves that men cheat bla bla bla. Is it not women dey cheat with? Plsss enough of this settling for less from some ladies. Both men and women cheat and it is BAD,period. In Marriage, both parties have to learn how to deal with the various temptations that they encounter and strive forward. Marriage isnt easy but it isnt hard either if both parties decide to make it work. I wish you well my sister, all I can say is follow Rex's advice. Your age matters but your worth matters the most.