This might be long but I have to purge myself from the diarrhoea of anger.

I was minding my own business jeje when Mtn sent me a message that i could get 1gig for 1500. Initially, I thought the department that oversees scamming activities at Mtn were out for the blood of innocent unsuspecting Nigerians who were unfortunate to have their sim cards like myself again, not until i kept getting numerous messages from Mtn about the goddamn plan. Atimes,50times a day. And my dear Brethren, one thing ive come to realise about mtn after all these years is that they get what they want from you whether u like am or not. There was this time I nearly joined Deeper life Bible church after they collaborated with Kumuyi to win my soul via sms but God that is God fought for me and my phone got stolen the next week.

knowing Mtn for having a good track record of spamming , i knew my my bail out of this situation was N1000. I asked around, and people confirmed they've also been getting such messages. Finally, I called customer care to confirm if Mtn was just trying to test my long throat or what! Cos honestly speaking,1.5gig for 1000? From thesame Mtn that gives is it not 2and half mb for 500naira or so? Definitely sounds too good to be true-but I was assured it was infact legit.

Na so I hussle 1000naira from thin air on the night of may 12 even though few minutes earlier, I was complaining of being broke to my roomates. I quickly ran to the card vendor with boxers and singlet, my N1000 tightly squeezed inbetwee my palms like a bribe. I no wan hear say dem decommission the plan 1second before I subscribe cos we all know Mtn and de-commissioning go hand in hand.

I recharged 600niara because i had 400naira on my line already but to my greatest surprise, i was told "failed due to insufficient balance". I could hear my mind blowing that kind of whistle Nigerian guys dey blow wen they see big nysah. I checked my acct bal and saw only 700naira on my phone. Ah han! Where my 300naira enter?

I checked my memory card to see if Mtn mistakenly transferred it there thinking it was my sim card but for where! Nothing. I was mad, I was furious. In short, I was in rage. First customer care agent said he couldn't even see any thing on my line. In his words, "the recharge card has not reached our office"...
but if we borrow money from una, E dey reach una office even before we load the card abi?

Second one said he doesn't know why my money was missing. Third said it was musicplus. Musicplus wey I no dey use abi? Musicplus that has since been de-commissioned? Fourth one said it wasn't musicplus, that I don't even have it activated on my sim. Fifth one said it was musicplus. Na im I kuku rest.

I had to painfully squeeze out another N300 from the thin air I initially squeezed N1000 from. While I was squeezing the 300naira, the air made it well known to me that it was dying and couldn't survive another squeezing. So all plans of allowing my sim card rest before subscribing the next morning were aborted. I no wan wake-up see 50naira for my sim card the next morning after Mtn collaborate with my village people for midnight while I was asleep.

I subscribed and was told "successful. Use *131*4# to check ur mb" . I checked and saw my 1.5gig in all its glory. The feeling was just, to put in one word "Refreshing". Despite the fact that ive only gone to church once this semester after my roomates kidnapped me in a black nylon and dropped me in-front St.Albert urging the ushers not to let the bag out of sight, I all of a sudden began quoting scriptures and praying for Mtn and it's staff while speaking in tongues.
Within minutes, I was catching up on the latest on science and world news, then switched to downloading my fav tv shows but to my dismay, the speed was too slow. Wetin person was use 80 to 90kb/s download sef. Midget p0rn? Or documentaries about short people?

I was persecuted and tortured by mosquitoes that night but the decision had already been made by my spirit "download completely or die trying". I used it for 3days without too many issues, save for the occasional not being able to connect I was experiencing from all my browsers not until yesterday, may 16, just 4 days later-disaster struck.

A friend had an important practical he wanted to check-up online, so I tried accessing the net but all efforts were futile after hours of trying and trying.The annoying or rather, surprising fact was that my data balance was showing I still had "905mb" and my network bar, full. There is nothing in this life I didn't try to make it work. I switched off my phone. Removed my sim. Wore my yellow T-shirt. Fried my sim card with olive oil but all to no avail.

I got fed up and called customer care.
The first agent said she was sorry and could see that I had data on my line. She advised i dial *466*1#. I asked what the code was going to do cos I heard a lot of monitoring spirits worked at Mtn. She said it was going to activate it(my data). True to her word, I got a message that my data has been reactivated. But what kept running through my mind was "I never deactivated data" so what need was there to re-activate? Who deactivated it? Come here let me slaaaaaap you. I let it go.But I was still unable to browse. The anger I was trying to suppress after opening my beans only to see a congregation of weevils holding a crusade inside was beginning to rise. The weevils so did damage and bore holes that my beans became transparent.

I called again and complained. The agent asked me to hold. Seconds later, I was hearing something that sounded like "there is no data on ur line". I was lying on my back but Immidiately I heard those words, I rose like Lazarus when Bros J command am that year to rise.

She was thanking me for calling Mtn, I was cutting the call. I dialed *131*4# and saw you have "0.00 mb". The same code that said I had "905mb" only minutes ago. No single page has opened throughout today so how da hell did I use 905mb within minutes, to do what? To download the saviour that would finally come to deliver us from Mtn? At what speed did he arrive sef?

To say I was mad is an understatement. . I called them again and the guy who picked told me to wait on the line. Minutes later, he said it was a technical glitch, that I wasn't the only one experiencing it. He apologised and said Mtn would work on it.

I called called called and called. At a point, Oghenekaro, the automated voice that normally welcomes you on dialling 180 began speaking yoruba instead of English, thinking language was enough to deter me from my quest. But they forgot the words of my Grand-father "a highly motivated man knows no barrier". I just told her to shut up by dialling the code that takes you customer care direct.

There was this agent i was complaining to, who waited for me to be done and cut the call. As iam typing this, Mtn is still yet to return my illegally deducted megabyte but they today ,sent me the-same sms that brought me to this unfortunate juncture in the first place...

New Offer! Get 1.5GB data for N1000. SMS 106 to 131 NOW. Validity/ 30 days

I took me N1000 naira to realise what people have been telling me for free all along "Mtn can never be trusted". "MTN are thieves". You that already has about a N1000 naira, N2000 or even more on ur phone with the aim of subscribing to their so called new offer, ask yourself this "Do I trust Mtn?" "What if I wake up one morning only to see my data gone"?

Ask yourself this "Is the worry/uncertainty of the data you legally bought with your hard earned money being wiped away at any moment worth the stress"?

"Dont you want rest of mind"?

I have taken it upon my self to educate people in my hostel on the dangers of using Mtn for anything. I dont even want to talk about thier so called useless "call bonus" to every network they give on recharge. I have so far, been able to convince 10people from subscribing. I told them to choose between Glo, Airtel and Etisalat instead.

Iam irritated.. Anything yellow now annoys me. I nearly slapped my roommate who has yellow teeth few mins ago for mentioning my name. And God save that Albino I always see at faculty of engineering from my wrath.

I had to subscribe their 30mb for 100naira so I can say what I want to say to somebody before i swell and burst from within, in my sleep.

#Mtn-ole##. Bring back my mb so I can exhaust it and move on to a better network.

www.nairaland.com/attachments/3725091_screenshot201605161953021_jpeg4e782a6a590b25e2a79a9e1bdabb9aea

signed. supported

the worst thing is that they'll soon bribe you and you'll shut up..

so pathetic..

Guy ur story too long but all the same sorry please. Accept my sincere apologies.
Thats the benefits of refusing to port out of naijas biggest ict scamming cabal

Ksslib:
This might be long but I have to purge myself from the diarrhoea of anger.

I was minding my own business jeje when Mtn sent me a message that i could get 1gig for 1500. Initially, I thought the department that oversees scamming activities at Mtn were out for the blood of innocent unsuspecting Nigerians who were unfortunate to have their sim cards like myself again, not until i kept getting numerous messages from Mtn about the goddamn plan. Atimes,50times a day. And my dear Brethren, one thing ive come to realise about mtn after all these years is that they get what they want from you whether u like am or not. There was this time I nearly joined Deeper life Bible church after they collaborated with Kumuyi to win my soul via sms but God that is God fought for me and my phone got stolen the next week.

knowing Mtn for having a good track record of spamming , i knew my my bail out of this situation was N1000. I asked around, and people confirmed they've also been getting such messages. Finally, I called customer care to confirm if Mtn was just trying to test my long throat or what! Cos honestly speaking,1.5gig for 1000? From thesame Mtn that gives is it not 2and half mb for 500naira or so? Definitely sounds too good to be true-but I was assured it was infact legit.

Na so I hussle 1000naira from thin air on the night of may 12 even though few minutes earlier, I was complaining of being broke to my roomates. I quickly ran to the card vendor with boxers and singlet, my N1000 tightly squeezed inbetwee my palms like a bribe. I no wan hear say dem decommission the plan 1second before I subscribe cos we all know Mtn and de-commissioning go hand in hand.

I recharged 600niara because i had 400naira on my line already but to my greatest surprise, i was told "failed due to insufficient balance". I could hear my mind blowing that kind of whistle Nigerian guys dey blow wen they see big nysah. I checked my acct bal and saw only 700naira on my phone. Ah han! Where my 300naira vamoose enter?

I checked my memory card to see if Mtn mistakenly transferred it there thinking it was my sim card but for where! Nothing. I was mad, I was furious. In short, I was in rage. First customer care agent said he couldn't even see any thing on my line. In his words, "the recharge card has not reached our office"...
but if we borrow money from una, E dey reach una office even before we load the card abi?

Second one said he doesn't know why my money was missing. Third said it was musicplus. Musicplus wey I no dey use abi? Musicplus that has since been de-commissioned? Fourth one said it wasn't musicplus, that I don't even have it activated on my sim. Fifth one said it was musicplus. Na im I kuku rest.

I had to painfully squeeze out another N300 from the thin air I initially squeezed N1000 from. While I was squeezing the 300naira, the air made it well known to me that it was dying and couldn't survive another squeezing. So all plans of allowing my sim card rest before subscribing the next morning were aborted. I no wan wake-up see 50naira for my sim card the next morning after Mtn collaborate with my village people for midnight while I was asleep.

I subscribed and was told "successful. Use *131*4# to check ur mb" . I checked and saw my 1.5gig in all its glory. The feeling was just, to put in one word "Refreshing". Despite the fact that ive only gone to church once this semester after my roomates kidnapped me in a black nylon and dropped me in-front St.Albert urging the ushers not to let the bag out of sight, I all of a sudden began quoting the scriptures and praying for Mtn and it's staff while speaking in tongues.
Within minutes, I was catching up on the latest on science and world news, then switched to downloading my fav tv shows but to my dismay, the speed was too slow. Wetin person was use 80 to 90kb/s download sef. Midget p0rn? Or documentaries about short people?

I was persecuted and tortured by mosquitoes that night but the decision had already been made by my spirit "download completely or die trying". I used it for 3days without too many issues, save for the occasional not being able to connect I was experiencing from all my browsers not until yesterday, may 16, just 4 days later.

A friend had an important practical he wanted to check-up online, so I tried accessing the net but all efforts were futile after hours of trying and trying.The annoying or rather, surprising fact was that my data balance was showing I still had "905mb" and my network bar, full. There is nothing in this life I didn't try to make it work. I switched off my phone. Removed my sim. Wore my yellow T-shirt. Fried my sim card with olive oil but all to no avail.

I got fed up and called customer care.
The first agent said she was sorry and could see that I had data on my line. She advised i dial *466*1#. I asked what the code was going to do cos I heard a lot of monitoring spirits worked at Mtn. She said it was going to activate it(my data). True to her word, I got a message that my data has been reactivated. But what kept running through my mind was "I never deactivated data" so what need was there to re-activate? Who deactivated it? Come here let me slaaaaaap you. I let it go.But I was still unable to browse. The anger I was trying to suppress after opening my beans only to see a congregation of weevils holding a crusade inside was beginning to rise. The weevils so did damage and bore holes that my beans became transparent.

I called again and complained. The agent asked me to hold. Seconds later, I was hearing something that sounded like "there is no data on ur line". I was lying on my back but Immidiately I heard those words, I rose like Lazarus when Bros J dey command am that year to rise.

She was thanking me for calling Mtn, I was cutting the call. I dialed *131*4# and saw you have "0.00 mb". The same code that said I had "905mb" only minutes ago. No single page has opened throughout today so how da hell did I use 905mb within minutes, to do what? To download the saviour that would finally come to deliver us from Mtn? At what speed did he arrive sef?

To say I was mad is an understatement. . I called them again and the guy who picked told me to wait on the line. Minutes later, he said it was a technical glitch, that I wasn't the only one experiencing it. He apologised and said Mtn would work on it.

I called called called and called. At a point, Oghenekaro, the automated voice that normally welcomes you on dialling 180 began speaking yoruba instead of English, thinking language was enough to deter me from my quest. But they forgot the words of my Grand-father "a highly motivated man knows no barrier". I just told her to shut up by dialling the code that takes you customer care direct.

There was this agent i was complaining to, who waited for me to be done and cut the call. As iam typing this, Mtn is still yet to return my illegally deducted megabyte but they today sent me the-same sms that brought me to this unfortunate juncture in the first place...

New Offer! Get 1.5GB data for N1000. SMS 106 to 131 NOW. Validity/ 30 days

I took me N1000 naira to realise what people have been telling me for free all along "Mtn can never be trusted". "MTN are thieves". You that already has about a N1000 naira, N2000 or even more on ur phone with the aim of subscribing to their so called new offer, ask yourself this "Do I trust Mtn?" "What if I wake up one morning only to see my data gone"?

Ask yourself this "Is the worry/uncertainty of the data you legally bought with your hard earned money being wiped away at any moment worth the stress"?

"Dont you want rest of mind"?

I have taken it upon my self to educate people in my hostel on the dangers of using Mtn for anything. I dont even want to talk about thier so called useless "call bonus" to every network they give on recharge. I have so far been able to convince 10people from subscribing. I told them to choose between Glo, Airtel and Etisalat instead.

Iam irritated.. Anything yellow now annoys me. I nearly slapped my roommate who has yellow teeth few mins ago for mentioning my name. And God save that Albino I always see at faculty of engineering from my wrath.

I had to subscribe their 30mb for 100naira so I can say what I want to say to somebody before i swell and burst from within in my sleep.

#Mtn-ole##. Bring back my mb so I can exhaust it and move on to a better network.

www.nairaland.com/attachments/3725091_screenshot201605161953021_jpeg4e782a6a590b25e2a79a9e1bdabb9aea

i don laff tire for here

lekjons:
the worst thing is that they'll soon bribe you and you'll shut up..


so pathetic..

The only way Mtn can bribe me is to create a time machine that ll take me back to yesterday to compensate for my time wasted considering the important informations I wanted to gather from the net within the period they shut me out of civilisation.

Mtn took me back to the stone-age and left me there for a whooping 24hrs. I didn't know what was happening around the world. If not that I did the 30mb thing, I would have still been in the stone-age by now.

Mtn need more than bribe to pacify me.

your write up is funny

hahaha... This ur story dey like movie

MTN = The devils deal
they give you one they collect ten.

calddon:
Guy ur story too long but all the same sorry please. Accept my sincere apologies.
Thats the benefits of refusing to port out of naijas biggest ict scamming cabal

Yea.. Ive learnt from my mistake.

D story sweet die... Waiting for part 2

grayht:
D story sweet die...
Waiting for part 2

How far?

The write is so true and also funny the dude make me laff sote I threw my phone away without knowing I did.

This uniben boy don make me roll on the floor with laughter tire. Funny guy. Anyway I have never subscribed to any of Mtn data bundle before since I started using smartphones because I never and will never trust them. Airtel is my favourite followed by either Glo or Etisalat. I don't use the 25mb bonus they do give to me weekly on every #100 recharge.

my guy wetin i do you, you don make my phone fall my plate of soup where am laughing, i share ur pain. I have been dope like this by MTN

grayht:
D story sweet die...
Waiting for part 2

I said it! You like boooobs

AngelAhnie:
I said it! You like boooobs

boobs sweet die..

grayht:
boobs sweet die..

I noticed earlier when you said mine are too small

I really like your sence of humor.
Hope say you de take am hammar, cos u too good abeg.
BTW, Mtn pls fix the loops in your system.

He didnt lie na angel

haha.my own case is the exact opposite.
i subscribed for the 750mb for 500bucks.got 100mb extra.valid for one week.yesterday was the expiry date and they gave me additional 850mb. which i couldnt exhaust sharply anyway.

1 word of advise neva trust mtn Internet bundles they ve been scamming Nigerians since 600bc just stick with Glo and airtel. Works perfectly for me

Your writeup is hilarious

just a network issue that will be rectify soonest and I'm sure you'll get ur data back. Be considerate when talking to d CCR as u don't know wat would be of u tomorrow bro. Once behavelike that now I know better

I'm sure wat u re experiencing is just a network hitch that will soon be rectify, Op please don't take ur anger out on the CCR as they're just young youths like u trying to put food on their table. my conclusion.

Organized Crime...

Ksslib:

The only way Mtn can bribe me is to create a time machine that ll take me back to yesterday to compensate for my time wasted considering the important informations I wanted to gather from the net within the period they shut me out of civilisation.

Mtn took me back to the stone-age and left me there for a whooping 24hrs. I didn't know what was happening around the world. If not that I did the 30mb thing, I would have still been in the stone-age by now.

Mtn need more than bribe to pacify me.

My guy, I want to state categorically, with unreserved apologies that you are the funniest dude on nairaland (I do not stand to be corrected ). Go to Innoson motors and pick any brand of your choice, tell them I sent you

Ksslib:
This might be long but I have to purge myself from the diarrhoea of anger.

I was minding my own business jeje when Mtn sent me a message that i could get 1gig for 1500. Initially, I thought the department that oversees scamming activities at Mtn were out for the blood of innocent unsuspecting Nigerians who were unfortunate to have their sim cards like myself again, not until i kept getting numerous messages from Mtn about the goddamn plan. Atimes,50times a day. And my dear Brethren, one thing ive come to realise about mtn after all these years is that they get what they want from you whether u like am or not. There was this time I nearly joined Deeper life Bible church after they collaborated with Kumuyi to win my soul via sms but God that is God fought for me and my phone got stolen the next week.

knowing Mtn for having a good track record of spamming , i knew my my bail out of this situation was N1000. I asked around, and people confirmed they've also been getting such messages. Finally, I called customer care to confirm if Mtn was just trying to test my long throat or what! Cos honestly speaking,1.5gig for 1000? From thesame Mtn that gives is it not 2and half mb for 500naira or so? Definitely sounds too good to be true-but I was assured it was infact legit.

Na so I hussle 1000naira from thin air on the night of may 12 even though few minutes earlier, I was complaining of being broke to my roomates. I quickly ran to the card vendor with boxers and singlet, my N1000 tightly squeezed inbetwee my palms like a bribe. I no wan hear say dem decommission the plan 1second before I subscribe cos we all know Mtn and de-commissioning go hand in hand.

I recharged 600niara because i had 400naira on my line already but to my greatest surprise, i was told "failed due to insufficient balance". I could hear my mind blowing that kind of whistle Nigerian guys dey blow wen they see big nysah. I checked my acct bal and saw only 700naira on my phone. Ah han! Where my 300naira enter?

I checked my memory card to see if Mtn mistakenly transferred it there thinking it was my sim card but for where! Nothing. I was mad, I was furious. In short, I was in rage. First customer care agent said he couldn't even see any thing on my line. In his words, "the recharge card has not reached our office"...
but if we borrow money from una, E dey reach una office even before we load the card abi?

Second one said he doesn't know why my money was missing. Third said it was musicplus. Musicplus wey I no dey use abi? Musicplus that has since been de-commissioned? Fourth one said it wasn't musicplus, that I don't even have it activated on my sim. Fifth one said it was musicplus. Na im I kuku rest.

I had to painfully squeeze out another N300 from the thin air I initially squeezed N1000 from. While I was squeezing the 300naira, the air made it well known to me that it was dying and couldn't survive another squeezing. So all plans of allowing my sim card rest before subscribing the next morning were aborted. I no wan wake-up see 50naira for my sim card the next morning after Mtn collaborate with my village people for midnight while I was asleep.

I subscribed and was told "successful. Use *131*4# to check ur mb" . I checked and saw my 1.5gig in all its glory. The feeling was just, to put in one word "Refreshing". Despite the fact that ive only gone to church once this semester after my roomates kidnapped me in a black nylon and dropped me in-front St.Albert urging the ushers not to let the bag out of sight, I all of a sudden began quoting scriptures and praying for Mtn and it's staff while speaking in tongues.
Within minutes, I was catching up on the latest on science and world news, then switched to downloading my fav tv shows but to my dismay, the speed was too slow. Wetin person was use 80 to 90kb/s download sef. Midget p0rn? Or documentaries about short people?

I was persecuted and tortured by mosquitoes that night but the decision had already been made by my spirit "download completely or die trying". I used it for 3days without too many issues, save for the occasional not being able to connect I was experiencing from all my browsers not until yesterday, may 16, just 4 days later-disaster struck.

A friend had an important practical he wanted to check-up online, so I tried accessing the net but all efforts were futile after hours of trying and trying.The annoying or rather, surprising fact was that my data balance was showing I still had "905mb" and my network bar, full. There is nothing in this life I didn't try to make it work. I switched off my phone. Removed my sim. Wore my yellow T-shirt. Fried my sim card with olive oil but all to no avail.

I got fed up and called customer care.
The first agent said she was sorry and could see that I had data on my line. She advised i dial *466*1#. I asked what the code was going to do cos I heard a lot of monitoring spirits worked at Mtn. She said it was going to activate it(my data). True to her word, I got a message that my data has been reactivated. But what kept running through my mind was "I never deactivated data" so what need was there to re-activate? Who deactivated it? Come here let me slaaaaaap you. I let it go.But I was still unable to browse. The anger I was trying to suppress after opening my beans only to see a congregation of weevils holding a crusade inside was beginning to rise. The weevils so did damage and bore holes that my beans became transparent.

I called again and complained. The agent asked me to hold. Seconds later, I was hearing something that sounded like "there is no data on ur line". I was lying on my back but Immidiately I heard those words, I rose like Lazarus when Bros J command am that year to rise.

She was thanking me for calling Mtn, I was cutting the call. I dialed *131*4# and saw you have "0.00 mb". The same code that said I had "905mb" only minutes ago. No single page has opened throughout today so how da hell did I use 905mb within minutes, to do what? To download the saviour that would finally come to deliver us from Mtn? At what speed did he arrive sef?

To say I was mad is an understatement. . I called them again and the guy who picked told me to wait on the line. Minutes later, he said it was a technical glitch, that I wasn't the only one experiencing it. He apologised and said Mtn would work on it.

I called called called and called. At a point, Oghenekaro, the automated voice that normally welcomes you on dialling 180 began speaking yoruba instead of English, thinking language was enough to deter me from my quest. But they forgot the words of my Grand-father "a highly motivated man knows no barrier". I just told her to shut up by dialling the code that takes you customer care direct.

There was this agent i was complaining to, who waited for me to be done and cut the call. As iam typing this, Mtn is still yet to return my illegally deducted megabyte but they today ,sent me the-same sms that brought me to this unfortunate juncture in the first place...

New Offer! Get 1.5GB data for N1000. SMS 106 to 131 NOW. Validity/ 30 days

I took me N1000 naira to realise what people have been telling me for free all along "Mtn can never be trusted". "MTN are thieves". You that already has about a N1000 naira, N2000 or even more on ur phone with the aim of subscribing to their so called new offer, ask yourself this "Do I trust Mtn?" "What if I wake up one morning only to see my data gone"?

Ask yourself this "Is the worry/uncertainty of the data you legally bought with your hard earned money being wiped away at any moment worth the stress"?

"Dont you want rest of mind"?

I have taken it upon my self to educate people in my hostel on the dangers of using Mtn for anything. I dont even want to talk about thier so called useless "call bonus" to every network they give on recharge. I have so far, been able to convince 10people from subscribing. I told them to choose between Glo, Airtel and Etisalat instead.

Iam irritated.. Anything yellow now annoys me. I nearly slapped my roommate who has yellow teeth few mins ago for mentioning my name. And God save that Albino I always see at faculty of engineering from my wrath.

I had to subscribe their 30mb for 100naira so I can say what I want to say to somebody before i swell and burst from within, in my sleep.

#Mtn-ole##. Bring back my mb so I can exhaust it and move on to a better network.

www.nairaland.com/attachments/3725091_screenshot201605161953021_jpeg4e782a6a590b25e2a79a9e1bdabb9aea

bro ur write was so funny dat I laugh and fall for chair.
anyway I am very sorry for your pain I pray they return ur data

I doff my hat for this writer, u funny die! Anyway, as for Mtn - Mobile Thieves of Niaja.. they have been involved in shady dealings since 10000 BC...thnx for this info, and to think I was about subscribing to this their mago mago new data plan..u made me dodge this bullet

Op do you have a blog? If you don't, it's high time you opened one