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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married (5396 Views)
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I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by BeastOfNoNation(f): 9:45pm On May 22, 2016 |
Hello Nairalanders!! ![]() Recently, I realized that the idea of marriage doesn't excite me AT ALL. This realization came about when I was talking to my older cousin who's sister just recently got engaged. I was very happy to hear the news and we were all celebrating for her and wishing her good things. So while I was hugging her, she looked at me and said "Ejirooo! Very soon we'll be celebrating your own engagement ooo!" So we started laughing and she went to talk to the other cousins and aunties. It now occured to me that she was right. One day I will kuku marry. And the thought of that seriously scares me. You see, I've had relationships before and I've met some of the nicest Naija guys on the face of the planet BUT I've never imagined myself being married to any of them. I've never even experienced real attraction to any of them ![]() Ironically, I've imagined myself being a mother (I'm very nurturing and maternal by nature) and I think it's part of the problem. I would like to adopt children in the future and I haven't met any Nigerian guy who is okay with that idea. Please let me clarify, I WANT TO HAVE MY OWN CHILDREN but I also want to adopt some so that I can give them a better life. I know that being a single mother carries a stigma in Nigerian society but I like the idea of it personally. Lots of fathers are not even directly involved in the rearing of their child anyway. My second issue with marriage is the multiple problems that can arise. Domestic abuse, Infidelity, Divorce, etc. It seems like everyday one person is having issues with their marriage and it's making me believe that this marriage thing isn't worth the pain. I don't like wahala in my life. I'm also afraid of those guys that control their women's lives and dominate in every aspect. I understand a male being masculine but I don't want to be regarded as a lesser human being to him. It seems like some guys can't differentiate between a wife and a slave ![]() My third issue is that I just don't really understand the need for marriage. I'm pretty self dependent and I can't imagine living with a man let alone marrying one and taking care of him for the rest of my life. While dating, me and my ex just did our own thing. We both had jobs so I didn't need money (plus I have a father if I really need anything ![]() ![]() I'm definitely going to marry just so that my mother will not shout but it will have to be somebody that does his own thing and isn't looking for the conventional wife. It just seems very inconvenient though. So my questions are: 1) What is the actual use of Marriage? 2) Do any other females feel this way? (I specifically ask females because I have met males who feel this way but if you are male you can answer too ![]() 3) Is marriage for everybody? ![]() Please respond! ![]() ![]() 4 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by tripplephi: 9:48pm On May 22, 2016 |
Wow am impressed with your open mindedness. I wish more ladies are like you. 1 Like |
Re: I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by Nobody: 9:49pm On May 22, 2016 |
So you want me to read all tat epistle because you no wan marry? ![]() ![]() ![]() Chief 9th wife loading... ![]() 3 Likes |
Re: I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by Nobody: 9:49pm On May 22, 2016 |
.... ![]() |
Re: I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by ERONX(m): 9:52pm On May 22, 2016 |
Your cup of tea 1 Like |
Re: I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by obiorathesubtle: 9:52pm On May 22, 2016 |
Didn't read.. Don't care! 1 Like |
Re: I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by Nobody: 9:53pm On May 22, 2016 |
if u know u can't get married, please stay away from d1cks 4ever 1 Like |
Re: I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by BeastOfNoNation(f): 9:54pm On May 22, 2016 |
slyIsaac: Sorry it was long ![]() |
Re: I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by pennytration(m): 9:54pm On May 22, 2016 |
Op i feel same way too. If not for d stigmatisation in the soceity, i personally dont want to get married. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by BeastOfNoNation(f): 9:55pm On May 22, 2016 |
2 Likes |
Re: I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by ivyy(f): 9:55pm On May 22, 2016 |
Marriage is not for everyone. I would suggest you do whatever suits you. If you think it wouldn't work for you then so be it. Who knows, someday you might also find a man who sweeps you off your feet. 2 Likes |
Re: I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by rose54321: 9:55pm On May 22, 2016 |
Your name "beast of no nation", that movie was wow. Now to the topic: As humans we need , at some point in life, companionship. Studies have proven that only those with strong companionship and relationships are truly happy in their old age. At this point in your life, all this marriage talk might sound like hullabaloo, but trust me that time will come when you yourself will crave to be loved by someone, crave to wake up beside someone, carve for that closeness, not one you can get from friends, an adopted child, or even your biological child, one you can only get from a companion. Y'all don't have to be married, marriage is over rated, but at least in a strong and committed relationship. 3 Likes |
Re: I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by BeastOfNoNation(f): 9:55pm On May 22, 2016 |
Re: I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by BeastOfNoNation(f): 9:56pm On May 22, 2016 |
rose54321: The movie was seriously on point! but I actually named it after Fela Kuti's song. ![]() |
Re: I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by BeastOfNoNation(f): 9:59pm On May 22, 2016 |
ivyy: Maybe o! If SOMEHOW that happens, I'll come back and tell you people that I've changed my mind. ![]() Yeah you're right, I'm just doing my thing until it becomes a problem with my mother |
Re: I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by obiorathesubtle: 10:00pm On May 22, 2016 |
BeastOfNoNation:Itchy fingers my Dear.. I see you've seen the movie beast of no nation.. Interesting movie.. Wanna talk about it?? ![]() |
Re: I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by IamLEGEND1: 10:01pm On May 22, 2016 |
I honestly couldn't care less. Next möron pls. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by BeastOfNoNation(f): 10:03pm On May 22, 2016 |
obiorathesubtle: I would be happy to talk about it in another thread ![]() |
Re: I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by BeastOfNoNation(f): 10:04pm On May 22, 2016 |
IamLEGEND1: Then why did you comment |
Re: I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by ThreeGEEKS(m): 10:04pm On May 22, 2016 |
1. The Bible never said every woman must marry. Even though it is an institution ordained by God for the procreation of mankind. 2. You said you didn't want problem, then clearly marriage is not for you. Marriage is for those who can see a problem and rough it out together. Marriage is hard work. People get into the university hopefull never to have any "problem", but that is not always the case. And that never stopped others for going into the university because "they don't want problem" 3. In Marriage, you have to learn to compromise. If you see someone who meets 75% of your expectations, that's a gold find. Take it or leave it. You can never get all you are looking for from one person. Even God is still" Three persons in one" 2 Likes |
Re: I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by obiorathesubtle: 10:09pm On May 22, 2016 |
BeastOfNoNation: ![]() Somewhere else then.. Although, if you don't want to get married, that's fine.. If you change your mind, I'm single and straight ![]() |
Re: I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by BeastOfNoNation(f): 10:09pm On May 22, 2016 |
ThreeGEEKS: You said Marriage is for those who see a problem and rough it out together. Why would I readily give myself a problem? What is the reward for solving the problem? Please I hope I don't sound harsh. I'm just curious ![]() 1 Like |
Re: I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by Ayomide93(m): 10:10pm On May 22, 2016 |
BeastOfNoNation:whao, this is awesome. The idea of cohabiting or just having a baby is all I ever wished for not some senseless marriage and some fantasies of love. 4 Likes |
Re: I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by BeastOfNoNation(f): 10:10pm On May 22, 2016 |
obiorathesubtle: Lol I will write down your name and get back to you ![]() 1 Like |
Re: I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by Nobody: 10:11pm On May 22, 2016 |
Talking about insecurities in an insecure world that's why we turn to God for help. If you've never had any reason to be sad since you were born then marriage isn't for you k (just saying) |
Re: I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by obiorathesubtle: 10:13pm On May 22, 2016 |
BeastOfNoNation:Lol, I wonder how many names you've written down.. |
Re: I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by BeastOfNoNation(f): 10:16pm On May 22, 2016 |
Ayomide93: Exactly! I think it's just a natural thing. I think this marriage thing is just a way to tie people down and make them spend money on an unnecessary wedding. Which other species in this world gets married sef? In nature, the female usually raises the child by herself with no problem. There are some single mothers that raise their children alright. I wish I could just do that and have no issue. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by BeastOfNoNation(f): 10:17pm On May 22, 2016 |
maoweidong: I don't understand what you mean |
Re: I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by ThreeGEEKS(m): 10:17pm On May 22, 2016 |
BeastOfNoNation:Even life gives you problem but have you considered committing suicide? I think not, my point is that there's problems everywhere, so marriage should not be seen as a safe haven, it is hard work. Even if you decide not to marry, it would not make life easier because life will still give you problems till the last. |
Re: I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by BeastOfNoNation(f): 10:17pm On May 22, 2016 |
Re: I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by obiorathesubtle: 10:19pm On May 22, 2016 |
BeastOfNoNation:Lol. My bad.. We haven't drawn the circle of trust yet.. Btw.. I'm obiora. |
Re: I Am Female And I Don't Want To Get Married by rexpeter13(m): 10:22pm On May 22, 2016 |
I can understand where you are coming from,but that goes beyond your thinking,understanding and philosophy.Marriage might not suit your lifestyle but try have a boyfriend then raise kids eventually it's goin to be win win at the end of the day.You know what you want.It's really agonizing when you grow older and need your own just like you've your parents and vice versa it's always a joy of having your blood as your own,you might be surprised it marriage might work perfectly good for you.best of luck all d same |
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