I've a boyfriend, he is more or less my Fiance. We have been dating for two years now. He has so far refused to propose formally to me just because of the nature of my job. I'm hardly in the country due to the nature of my job, not my fault though. He isn't working for the now and he depends solely on my earnings yet he is not comfortable with what I do. I've tried getting a job for him, but he refuses to even get in touch with my contacts, claiming he is a man and must get a job by his own efforts.

I'm tired of waiting for him to settle down, but I deeply love him... I wouldn't want to leave him for some reasons, one of which is what his family would say when I do. I believe they would probably think I left him because he hasn't gotten a job. I'm really so confused on my next line of action.

Please advise!!!! I'm not getting any younger, not that I'm desperate oo...

You folks keep asking questions...you know the answers too...

neo2smart:
I've a boyfriend, he is more or less my Fiance. We have been dating for two years now. He has so far refused to propose formally to me just because of the nature of my job. I'm hardly in the country due to the nature of my job, not my fault though. He isn't working for the now and he depends solely on my earnings yet he is not comfortable with what I do. I've tried getting a job for him, but he refuses to even get in touch with my contacts, claiming he is a man and must get a job by his own efforts.

I'm tired of waiting for him to settle down, but I deeply love him... I wouldn't want to leave him for some reasons, one of which is what his family would say when I do. I believe they would probably think I left him because he hasn't gotten a job. I'm really so confused on my next line of action.

Please advise!!!! I'm not getting any younger, not that I'm desperate oo...

For your own good.....Stop giving him money, dump his lazy ass, and go for a guy with sense...no matter what you do in life, people will always talk....the signs of an irresponsible man is staring you in the face and you are saying what I dont know....better drop him fast!

Watch well b4 u limp sister

No responsible man wouldn't want a job no matter who gets d contact, don't let love cloud ur sense of reasoning


I wish u guys well tho'

It seems he's comfortable with the hand outs you give him.
You know exactly what to do girl. I won't even bother telling you.

ivyy:
It seems he's comfortable with the hand outs you give him.
You know exactly what to do girl. I won't even bother telling you.

I think her boyfriend has destructive ego.

Kondomatic:
I think her boyfriend has destructive ego.

That's right.
He should stop taking her money too. I wonder why his ego doesn't get in the way for that.

Dude's not responsible, plus he's got ego issues. If you get married to him, the problems will compound. That's when he'd do every irrational thing to prove to you that he's a man regardless of whether or not you're the breadwinner.

ivyy:

That's right.
He should stop taking her money too. I wonder why his ego doesn't get in the way for that.

That's why I called it a destructive ego.

It doesn't want him to see the danger in not making his own money.

He's still a boy.

How can a man decide not to work?strange.

in all...you guys are saying I should dump him...can you really do that to someone you trully love?

Fine he is egoistic, but he also has some other good traits too, hence I fell in love with him.

What I really need to know now, is possible ways I can make him accept a job from my contacts. He is the very suspicious type. I've begged some of my contacts to send him job invites, but he somehow finds out I'm involved and he backs out.

neo2smart:
in all...you guys are saying I should dump him...can you really do that to someone you trully love?

Fine he is egoistic, but he also has some other good traits too, hence I fell in love with him.

What I really need to know now, is possible ways I can make him accept a job from my contacts. He is the very suspicious type. I've begged some of my contacts to send him job invites, but he somehow finds out I'm involved and he backs out.

sometimes, u have to make a hard decision for the one u love....if u cnt leave him alone then i think u are happy as u are gvn him money.....leave him so that he can get sense or stay with him and keep on feeding him....

neo2smart:
in all...you guys are saying I should dump him...can you really do that to someone you trully love?

Fine he is egoistic, but he also has some other good traits too, hence I fell in love with him.

What I really need to know now, is possible ways I can make him accept a job from my contacts. He is the very suspicious type. I've begged some of my contacts to send him job invites, but he somehow finds out I'm involved and he backs out.

Love alone cannot hold down a relationship!.. Stop making stupid excuses for him.If he loves you the way you love him,he won't let his stupid ego get in the way of you helping him...heck... he will cherish you for trying to help him out....What I see here is a lazy human being with ego problems. For this economic hardship na hin person dey turn down contacts cos na him babe work am?....what non sense!!.....he's suspicious of what?....so he doesn't even trust you?.....and you're still making excuses for him?.......what's doing you sef?!

neo2smart:
in all...you guys are saying I should dump him...can you really do that to someone you trully love?

Of course not

Fine he is egoistic, but he also has some other good traits too, hence I fell in love with him.

Love is wonderful

What I really need to know now, is possible ways I can make him accept a job from my contacts. He is the very suspicious type. I've begged some of my contacts to send him job invites, but he somehow finds out I'm involved and he backs out.

Its good you're really sticking by your man through thick and thin. Encourage him to apply for a job in the company of one of your contacts, let him not know you're behind the scene. When he gets the job, don't ever bring it up in any conversation that you helped him out. Note: let him be the one to apply

skarlett:


Of course not



Love is wonderful




Its good you're really sticking by your man through thick and thin. Encourage him to apply for a job in the company of one of your contacts, let him not know you're behind the scene. When he gets the job, don't ever bring it up in any conversation that you helped him out. Note: let him be the one to apply

You are speaking Britinish......lol



Did you miss the part she said "...somehow he manages to find out.." ?

skarlett:


Of course not



Love is wonderful




Its good you're really sticking by your man through thick and thin. Encourage him to apply for a job in the company of one of your contacts, let him not know you're behind the scene. When he gets the job, don't ever bring it up in any conversation that you helped him out. Note: let him be the one to apply

it won't work. He's gonna get suspicious when I encourages him to apply for a job in a particular company. All he wants is to get a job on his own without my help in any form. Problem is he isn't sending his Cvs to companies where I've friends.

JeffreyJamez:


You are speaking Britinish......lol
Did you miss the part she said "...somehow he manages to find out.." ?

True that

Well, since love conquers all there's no need for her to bother him with getting a job. They can live comfortably happily ever after on what she makes. She can even give him the money to pay her bride price sef, so they'll get married and everyone is happy

skarlett:



True that

Well, since love conquers all there's no need for her to bother him with getting a job. They can live comfortably happily ever after on what she makes. She can even give him the money to pay her bride price sef, so they'll get married and everyone is happy

give him money to pay my bride price hmmm...I think I already know what he is going to say when I make such suggestion. Nothing far from "over his dead body"

neo2smart:
it won't work. He's gonna get suspicious when I encourages him to apply for a job in a particular company. All he wants is to get a job on his own without my help in any form. Problem is he isn't sending his Cvs to companies where I've friends.

you don't mean it

I suppose he's not suitably qualified to get a job in the companies he's applying to without your help

skarlett:



True that

Well, since love conquers all there's no need for her to bother him with getting a job. They can live comfortably happily ever after on what she makes. She can even give him the money to pay her bride price sef, so they'll get married and everyone is happy

Why do I have a feeling you're being mischievously sarcastic

neo2smart:
give him money to pay my bride price hmmm...I think I already know what he is going to say when I make such suggestion. Nothing far from "over his dead body"

Okay

skarlett:



you don't mean it

I suppose he's not suitably qualified to get a job in the companies he's applying to without your help

He's not qualified to be a man!.... he should turn in his Man-Card Asap!

skarlett:



you don't mean it

I suppose he's not suitably qualified to get a job in the companies he's applying to without your help

Qualifications isn't the issue, He is sometimes over qualified for the jobs he applys to. He never seems to pass the interview stage.

JeffreyJamez:


Why do I have a feeling you're being mischievously sarcastic

of course I am


She's head over heels in love with him, wouldn't wanna burst her bubbles. Besides look at the thread, y'all are saying the same thing but she's adamant on what she thinks is good for her, so wetin be my own?

skarlett:



of course I am


She's head over heels in love with him, wouldn't wanna burst her bubbles. Besides look at the thread, y'all are saying the same thing but she's adamant on what she thinks is good for her, so wetin be my own?

heheheh she never ready!

neo2smart:
Qualifications isn't the issue, He is sometimes over qualified for the jobs he applys to. He never seems to pass the interview stage.

You are beginning to annoy me

lemme go and find somewhere else to be great biko....

JeffreyJamez:


He's not qualified to be a man!.... he should turn in his Man-Card Asap!

his fiancee thinks he is jor, don't be such a killjoy

skarlett:



his fiancee thinks he is jor, don't be such a killjoy

lol concern both them........make I go swallow my malaria medicine biko.....

neo2smart:
Qualifications isn't the issue, He is sometimes over qualified for the jobs he applys to. He never seems to pass the interview stage.

Must be from the village, he should see a pastor asap

please guys...you don't have to be sarcastic to convey your message.

Love aside, let's all just see this as a way of helping a fellow human being stand on his feets without knowing where the help is coming from.

I had thought of breaking up with him, then work underground to help him get a job...but what if he doesn't want me back when I return to him after he must have gotten a job, without him thinking I deserted him while he was jobless.

neo2smart:
please guys...you don't have to be sarcastic to convey your message.

Love aside, let's all just see this as a way of helping a fellow human being stand on his feets without knowing where the help is coming from.

I had thought of breaking up with him, then work underground to help him get a job...but what if he doesn't want me back when I return to him after he must have gotten a job, without him thinking I deserted him while he was jobless.

As the Human being doesnt want to help himself nko....will you now put your life on pause because of an Over grown baby?....


you sure say this guy no use juju for you so....because I am still trying to phantom how this is even a discussion!