My kid sister Tola is a very pretty girl, very brilliant too, she just completed her Master's degree at 24. There's this guy who have been coming to our house (family house) since 2014. l once asked my immediate younger brother about him, he said this young guy actually befriended him and have been coming around because of Tola and that Tola have not given him a chance for just one day. l see the guy as coolheaded, straightforward and simple in my few chats with him, he got my number and have been calling me occasionally to say hi. I tried to investigate him a bit and discovered that he's a pharmacist from an average background in Ilesha, Osun State, he works with a Federal Government health facility in Ondo State. I'm fascinated by his simple nature and neatness each time l see him. l would want my sister to give him a trial but she doesn't seem to be interested in him. She's talking about scholarship for her PhD at the moment. I asked her about marital relationship but was shocked when she opened her mouth to tell me that the person she really loved isn't showing seriousness and that that guy coming to our house is damned too serious for her. Can you see the contradiction? One isn't serious while another is too serious. I am confused, l don't even know how to advise her to get serious even if she won't marry that young man. To me, SHE IS NOT SERIOUS!

wwwkaycom:
My kid sister Tola is a very pretty girl, very brilliant too, she just completed her Master's degree at 24. There's this guy who have been coming to our house (family house) since 2014. l once asked my immediate younger brother about him, he said this young guy actually befriended him and have been coming around because of Tola and that Tola have not given him a chance for just one day. l see the guy as coolheaded, straightforward and simple in my few chats with him, he got my number and have been calling me occasionally to say hi. I tried to investigate him a bit and discovered that he's a pharmacist from an average background in Ilesha, Osun State, he works with a Federal Government health facility in Ondo State. I'm fascinated by his simple nature and neatness each time l see him. l would want my sister to give him a trial but she doesn't seem to be interested in him. She's talking about scholarship for her PhD at the moment. I asked her about marital relationship but was shocked when she opened her mouth to tell me that the person she really loved isn't showing seriousness and that that guy coming to our house is damned too serious for her. Can you see the contradiction? One isn't serious while another is too serious. I am confused, l don't even know how to advise her to get serious even if she won't marry that young man. To me, SHE IS NOT SERIOUS!

She is not ready for a marital relationship at the moment, encourage her in her pursuit of a doctorate degree and hopefully she will finish at around 27, then she would have become matured emotionally to talk about marriage.

Monalisa185:
do these things

1..encourage her to pursue her PhD...

2...continue talking to her about the guy and about marital relationships..

3..help her search for the scholarship..

By doing the aforementioned, she would realize you have her interest at heart, then she might consider giving the guy a trial or even moving on by having interest in someone else..

Sound.

pls tell her she wont remain like that for long o!, this degrees you want her to keep gathering can become some thing else, once she missses her true love, na d beigining of trouble be dat o.ask her to look around and she will find plenty of PHD holders who are women, and yet not married, by the time her hussy asks her to dump that big big certs in the dust bin at home, what will she do?she needs brain reset.A man keeps coming to your house for long and you seem to be playing around with him!thats weird bro,talk real sense in to her.she isnt young as you think, she has to give some one real chance .its not enough to gather all d big degress, she has to have a good man by her side too.

Don't ever encourage her to pursue her doctorate degree o. How many men will want to marry a PhD holder at her age? How many single guys are PhD holder today? Don't u know guys may begin to avoid her like plague with her PhD? I know dt she may not want to marry someone dt has a lower qualification compares to her. It may b difficult for her to get who to marry cos of her educational status upon completion and have to wait till eternity. Let her find work to do first till she finds someone to marry, she can now further her studies after marriage.

tayo60:
Don't ever encourage her to pursue her doctorate degree o. How many men will want to marry a PhD holder at her age? How many single guys are PhD holder today? Don't u know guys may begin to avoid her like plague with her PhD? I know dt she may not want to marry someone dt has a lower qualification compares to her. It may b difficult for her to get who to marry cos of her educational status upon completion and have to wait till eternity. Let her find work to do first till she finds someone to marry, she can now further her studies after marriage.

Let her avoid people who think like this. They are dream killers and will make her unhappy in her choice.

Leave her alone.

blank:


Let her avoid people who think like this. They are dream killers and will make her unhappy in her choice.

seconded

obiak4:

seconded

blank:

Let her avoid people who think like this. They are dream killers and will make her unhappy in her choice.

I don't blame d two of you because you two are insane and never see beyond your roof top. Mother fuckers!

RadicallyBlunt:
Tell her say she no well. She's being unrealistic at 24, when would she learn that relationship is not about herself alone.
She's just being a usual kid reaching conclusion by what she sees on d surface. Agewise she's still at d level of giving guys conditions..I'm sure she's d type dat wll say she must be taken to shoprite 1ce a wk or proposed to with a diamond ring blabla..those are signs of early 20s. When she finish phD and she's still searching, she go realize say life get 2 versions. Those creating threads on why ladies of 30+ are still single, this is one of the reasons.
The same guy she claims to be too serious might have the emotional strenght she desires and may be loyal to her thru out life. Does she even know if its heartbrk that made him resolve into such a calmness? Or perhaps bcus he hasn't felt accepted. She hasn't even gone out with him to know who he really is and she's already reaching conclusion. Ur sister really needs to learn abt behavioural role in relationships. Bcus when one finds the right person, things change and liveliness sets in. D unserious guy she claims to love, does she know how many girls are after him? Anyway there's a saying that valuable things aren't attractive to a woman but the opposite does. If u don't believe me, ask eve abt d apple in garden eden
My advice, tell ur dangerously ambitious sister to learn more about how relationship works as much as she knows abt phD

You have spoken my mind. People like you are difficult to see on this forum who will speak d truth and nothing else. Unlike the two mother fuckers dt quoted me.

blank:


Let her avoid people who think like this. They are dream killers and will make her unhappy in her choice.

Ppl like you learn life lessons in a bitter way. Hw many phD does folounsho alakija has? Hw many phD doea dangote has?

The numerous phD holders in several universities today, who knows their names

tayo60:
Don't ever encourage her to pursue her doctorate degree o. How many men will want to marry a PhD holder at her age? How many single guys are PhD holder today? Don't u know guys may begin to avoid her like plague with her PhD? I know dt she may not want to marry someone dt has a lower qualification compares to her. It may b difficult for her to get who to marry cos of her educational status upon completion and have to wait till eternity. Let her find work to do first till she finds someone to marry, she can now further her studies after marriage.

Are you serious? I assume that you are joking.

RadicallyBlunt:

Ppl like you learn life lessons in a bitter way. Hw many phD does folounsho alakija has? Hw many phD doea dangote has?

The numerous phD holders in several universities today, who knows their names

Do you think people do their PhD to become famous?

RadicallyBlunt:
[i]Tell her say she no well. She's being unrealistic at 24, when would she learn that relationship is not about herself alone.

And so? Is it a reason to settle for less than what she wants?

She's just being a usual kid reaching conclusion by what she sees on d surface. Agewise she's still at d level of giving guys conditions..I'm sure she's d type dat wll say she must be taken to shoprite 1ce a wk or proposed to with a diamond ring blabla..those are signs of early 20s. When she finish phD and she's still searching, she go realize say life get 2 versions. Those creating threads on why ladies of 30+ are still single, this is one of the reasons.

I guess you wouldn't be giving conditions if you could, aight?

The same guy she claims to be too serious might have the emotional strenght she desires and may be loyal to her thru out life. Does she even know if its heartbrk that made him resolve into such a calmness? Or perhaps bcus he hasn't felt accepted. She hasn't even gone out with him to know who he really is and she's already reaching conclusion. Ur sister really needs to learn abt behavioural role in relationships. Bcus when one finds the right person, things change and liveliness sets in. D unserious guy she claims to love, does she know how many girls are after him? Anyway there's a saying that valuable things aren't attractive to a woman but the opposite does. If u don't believe me, ask eve abt d apple in garden eden

So what? Is she supposed to date him out of pity or become his therapist? How is his past her problem?

My advice, tell ur dangerously ambitious sister to learn more about how relationship works as much as she knows abt phD

Dangerously ambitious. LOL.

What is he supposed to tell her? That a stranger on NL said that her dreams are not so important and that she should settle for less than she desires in a man?

Just imagine . Who did this to our youth?

No wonder we will always lag behind.

I feel sorry for yous

gidjah:
pls tell her she wont remain like that for long o!, this degrees you want her to keep gathering can become some thing else, once she missses her true love, na d beigining of trouble be dat o.ask her to look around and she will find plenty of PHD holders who are women, and yet not married, by the time her hussy asks her to dump that big big certs in the dust bin at home, what will she do?she needs brain reset.A man keeps coming to your house for long and you seem to be playing around with him!thats weird bro,talk real sense in to her.she isnt young as you think, she has to give some one real chance .its not enough to gather all d big degress, she has to have a good man by her side too.

tayo60:
Don't ever encourage her to pursue her doctorate degree o. How many men will want to marry a PhD holder at her age? How many single guys are PhD holder today? Don't u know guys may begin to avoid her like plague with her PhD? I know dt she may not want to marry someone dt has a lower qualification compares to her. It may b difficult for her to get who to marry cos of her educational status upon completion and have to wait till eternity. Let her find work to do first till she finds someone to marry, she can now further her studies after marriage.

Mindfulness:


And so? Is it a reason to settle for less than what she wants?




I guess you wouldn't be giving conditions if you could, aight?



So what? Is she supposed to date him out of pity or become his therapist? How is his past her problem?



Dangerously ambitious. LOL.

What is he supposed to tell her? That a stranger on NL said that her dreams are not so important and that she should settle for less than she desires in a man?

Ur understanding is very minute. U have debate sense but ure insensitive to reality

RadicallyBlunt:

Ur understanding is very minute. U have debate sense but ure insensitive to reality

Is that all?

Mindfulness:


Do you think people do their PhD to become famous?

Oh! I thought what ever is worth sacrificing timely marriage for shd be something d whole world shd honour you for. Perhaps u shd be reminded that u don't need a phD to succeed in life. If phD doesn't make a clear famous difference in ur life, then what's d worth?

Google this- "most reproductve age of a woman" and u'll see its btw 18 to 24. That's d age STi have almost no effect on reproductivity. When u use ur best times to catch fun and marry at 35, u may have to wait another 5yrs to recorect ur body from d effects of abortions, infections and unprescribed contraceptives used while u had a suitor in time but chose to catch fun with a guy who isn't serious about you. Many are in d "fruit of d womb" groups in churches 2day.

RadicallyBlunt:

Oh! I thought what ever is worth sacrificing timely marriage for shd be something d whole world shd honour you for. Perhaps u shd be reminded that u don't need a phD to succeed in life. If phD doesn't make a clear famous difference in ur life, then what's d worth?

First of all, a person can do a PhD without sacrificing ANYTHING.
Secondly, not everyone is after fame. Some people love to study and acquire knowledge. They do it for fun and fulfillment.
Thirdly, not everyone is obsessed with marriage in the way that they consider it the number one goal in their life.

Google this- "most reproductve age of a woman" and u'll see its btw 18 to 24. That's d age STi have almost no effect on reproductivity. When u use ur best times to catch fun and marry at 35, u may have to wait another 5yrs to recorect ur body from d effects of abortions, infections and unprescribed contraceptives used while u had a suitor in time but chose to catch fun with a guy who isn't serious about you. Many are in d "fruit of d womb" groups in churches 2day.

None of your business. Find a woman who wants to marry in her early twenties - there are millions of them around the world - and stop telling people to settle for what they do not desire to settle for.

I guess you won't be there if she suffers for the rest of her life.

Mindfulness:


First of all, a person can do a PhD without sacrificing ANYTHING.
Secondly, not everyone is after fame. Some people love to study and acquire knowledge. They do it for fun and fulfillment.
Thirdly, not everyone is obsessed with marriage in the way that they consider it the number one goal in their life.
None of your business. Find a woman who wants to marry in her early twenties - there are millions of them around the world - and stop telling people to settle for what they do not desire to settle for.

I guess you won't be there if she suffers for the rest of her life.

Fun? Ok fun is better than giving a 2yr suitor a chance. Lol u dant wanna marry. Its either u're still in a delusion world hoping to find the level of love that doesn't exist or u were heartbroken. The earlier u realize that no man or nobody whosoever can be there for you in all ways, the better u'll adjust to reality. That's d best healing to mind pain

RadicallyBlunt:

Fun? Ok fun is better than giving a 2yr suitor a chance. Lol u dant wanna marry. Its either u're still in a delusion world hoping to find the level of love that doesn't exist or u were heartbroken. The earlier u realize that no man or nobody whosoever can be there for you in all ways, the better u'll adjust to reality. That's d best healing to mind pain

You are reading too much into it. She is NOT into this guy and this is it. It is so simple. And if she isn't now after two years, she won't be in ten. She may marry him out of despair because people like you love to tell women about age and time but he will NEVER get her to love him. It is or isn't.


Why doesn't the guy find someone else worthy of his time and effort instead of running into her house like a stray dog? This is the last girl alive?
Why would a guy even do it? Is he so desperate? He doesn't respect himself?

And yes, FUN is MUCH better than dating someone out of pity or despair.

Mindfulness:


You are reading too much into it. She is NOT into this guy and this is it. It is so simple. And if she isn't now after two years, she won't be in ten. She may marry him out of despair because people like you love to tell women about age and time but he will NEVER get her to love him. It is or isn't.


Why doesn't the guy find someone else worthy of his time and effort instead of running into her house like a stray dog? This is the last girl alive?
Why would a guy even do it? Is he so desperate? He doesn't respect himself?

And yes, FUN is MUCH better than dating someone out of pity or despair.

Nah. I think its you who's reading three much into it. Re-read my orignal post, I never said she shd marry him. All I vehemently said was she shdnt be superficially conclusive. No one can tell, she might be loosing a good opportunity by being superficially decisive and its an attribute of the young. Simple!

RadicallyBlunt:

Nah. I think its you who's reading three much into it. Re-read my orignal post, I never said she shd marry him. All I vehemently said was she shdnt be superficially conclusive. No one can tell, she might be loosing a good opportunity by being superficially decisive and its an attribute of the young. Simple!

Well, you said more than this. Anyway. I don't think she is superficial since he has been coming to their house for TWO ENTIRE YEARS now so she has seen enough and she still doesn't fancy him. Don't you think that he has been trying for too long?

Mindfulness:


Well, you said more than this. Anyway. I don't think she is superficial since he has been coming to their house for TWO ENTIRE YEARS now so she has seen enough and she still doesn't fancy him. Don't you think that he has been trying for too long?

That's ur view. Now view it this way..Don't you think someone who remains cool for 2yrs studying you really loves you? Someone who knows u wanna go for phD and likes you for it bcus he likes seriousness. The same phD you may have to hide from suitors in future, because in turn you would appear most serious and educated than ur suitors.

Don't you think a girl who adores an unserious guy for abt only God knows how many years is been waiting for too long too?

RadicallyBlunt:

That's ur view. Now view it this way..Don't you think someone who remains cool for 2yrs studying you really loves you? Someone who knows u wanna go for phD and likes you for it bcus he likes seriousness.

It doesn't matter whether he loves me as long as I don't love him. It has to be mutual. That's the point.

The same phD you may have to hide from suitors in future, because in turn you would appear most serious and educated than ur suitors.

I would much rather remain single than to marry a man who feels intimidated by my degree.

Don't you think a girl who adores an unserious guy for abt only God knows how many years is been waiting for too long too?

The girl is no different from the guy that has been coming to her house for two years. They both want someone who doesn't want them.

RadicallyBlunt:

Oh! I thought what ever is worth sacrificing timely marriage for shd be something d whole world shd honour you for. Perhaps u shd be reminded that u don't need a phD to succeed in life. If phD doesn't make a clear famous difference in ur life, then what's d worth?

Google this- "most reproductve age of a woman" and u'll see its btw 18 to 24. That's d age STi have almost no effect on reproductivity. When u use ur best times to catch fun and marry at 35, u may have to wait another 5yrs to recorect ur body from d effects of abortions, infections and unprescribed contraceptives used while u had a suitor in time but chose to catch fun with a guy who isn't serious about you. Many are in d "fruit of d womb" groups in churches 2day.

Good grief! You are so backwards, myopic and narrow-minded. So women who get married after 35 are riddled with STIs, have committed several abortions and need 5 years to "recorrect" their bodies. What kind of oloshos do you interact with? With all the available sex education out there, you think women don't know how to take care of their bodies sexually? Most responsible and educated women take good care of themselves.

coca butter, i hope your sense of reasoning and analysis hasn't gotten demented?, i shall never ask the young lady to halt her quest for career pursuit,but all this big big certs, wont do her any good if her hussy wouldn't want a career woman abi no be so?plenty of una, i say plenty of una get big big degree and yet not able to settle down , i have a female best friend who is currently lecturing in the best public institution in nigeria today, i am still praying for marrital break tru for her o!i hope you, cocoa butter is married or rather planning to marry?, else na one chance you dey so o!, by the time you are young you are supposed to accept simple nice but gentle men coming your way,but una beauty go dey shack una , na for old age when una time don pass, una go dey go from prayer house to prayer house, looking for holy husband.pls GET SOME SENSE DEAR.

cococandy:
Just imagine . Who did this to our youth?

No wonder we will always lag behind.

I feel sorry for yous

RadicallyBlunt:

That's ur view. Now view it this way..Don't you think someone who remains cool for 2yrs studying you really loves you? Someone who knows u wanna go for phD and likes you for it bcus he likes seriousness. The same phD you may have to hide from suitors in future, because in turn you would appear most serious and educated than ur suitors.

Don't you think a girl who adores an unserious guy for abt only God knows how many years is been waiting for too long too?

So what if the guy loves her? You cannot force love.

wwwkaycom:
My kid sister Tola is a very pretty girl, very brilliant too, she just completed her Master's degree at 24. There's this guy who have been coming to our house (family house) since 2014. l once asked my immediate younger brother about him, he said this young guy actually befriended him and have been coming around because of Tola and that Tola have not given him a chance for just one day. l see the guy as coolheaded, straightforward and simple in my few chats with him, he got my number and have been calling me occasionally to say hi. I tried to investigate him a bit and discovered that he's a pharmacist from an average background in Ilesha, Osun State, he works with a Federal Government health facility in Ondo State. I'm fascinated by his simple nature and neatness each time l see him. l would want my sister to give him a trial but she doesn't seem to be interested in him. She's talking about scholarship for her PhD at the moment. I asked her about marital relationship but was shocked when she opened her mouth to tell me that the person she really loved isn't showing seriousness and that that guy coming to our house is damned too serious for her. Can you see the contradiction? One isn't serious while another is too serious. I am confused, l don't even know how to advise her to get serious even if she won't marry that young man. To me, SHE IS NOT SERIOUS!

since 2014!!! some guys are really dull when it comes to women... chasing a women for 2years! what for...