Hello,

I have a friend and he is 30years...I don't want to say he is lazy but I think he is...

I think he needs help, so I'm posting this to seek for mature advice and I'm going to show him this post..

He has been working for two years now with no savings, I mean no money at all and no property or investment...although he does not womanise or drink...I don't know where the money goes to...I've talked, nagged and even compared him to his mates...last time we calculated his finance he had 50k in savings but I asked him about his savings and he said its 8k, that he loaned his GUY some money...

He has no practical plan for his life, No educational plan too and he sleeps a lot...

His routine involves eating, playing game and sleeping after work and weekends.....

He is so stubborn to admit when he is wrong and gets all angry at me when I correct him...

I really want him to get his life in order and be a MAN...

People sha get problems for this life. Just wen I was thinking I did hav a problem.

Cutehector:
People sha get problems for this life. Just wen I was thinking I did hav a problem.

Do you think I'm disturbing myself?

I just don't think its normal, do you think I should let him be?

keppyy:


Do you think I'm disturbing myself?

I just don't think its normal, do you think I should let him be?

hian abi dem dey beg shit to smell befor? Of course you should let him be. Wen he wishes to grow up, he"l come to u

if the rent is paid, the bills are paid, he's fed well and there is food in the fridge, there is clothes on his back etc then he is TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS and thats all that should matter. why try to enforce YOUR desires unto others. did this man told you he was unhappy? did he said he was suffering because he had no investment?

live your life and let others live theirs at their own pace, doing what THEY desire!

Its easy, change of environment would solve his situation, chances are his current surrounding is too comfortable and not taking much of responsibilities. If he really was, Nobody would teach him to plan and save.

that's his life. I guess he is the first son because that's how they behave.

you may want to choose which sex you want in your child then read this


http://sagaciousguru..com.ng/2016/05/how-to-naturally-decide-sex-gender-of.html?m=1

Na wa o

Person nor fit to borrow him guy money again?

Why r u calculating his money for him?are u his account officer?

Leave him joor

Some babies walk at 7months,some at 14months,and the goal of walking will still be attained by both babies

Worry not...he will grow up some day

I think I understand his situation VERY WELL. Please do not force him into anything. Is your friendship a longstanding one? Do you have any idea about his medical history?

Just be good as a friend and let him live his dream the way he desires. If you have underlying plans (marriage?) with him, do not force your will. If you can't cope, look elsewhere for a Dangote or someone else with bigger dreams.

Some people are okay with 1 flat, 1 car or no car, food, water and sound health. In fact, I've met a lot more whose desires revolve around SERVING GOD, going to church, serving people and nothing more!

I know an Evangelist who burnt his certificates. Not everyone is greedy after all, we all must not hustle and die 'on top' currency like Dasuki, etc. A single stray bullet, or a ceased breath in 30seconds, and ops! DEATH!

Don't kill him please. Just take some time out of the city, and you'd discover that the so called poor villagers are happier with the little they have. What defines your own happiness (night clubs, swimming, picnic, etc.) may be offensive to another who loves his space (his movies, his books, game, and food).

DEGREE2466:
that's his life. I guess he is the first son because that's how they behave.

you may want to choose which sex you want in your child then read this


http://sagaciousguru..com.ng/2016/05/how-to-naturally-decide-sex-gender-of.html?m=1

Yes, he is the first son...

aaronson:
Its easy, change of environment would solve his situation, chances are his current surrounding is too comfortable and not taking much of responsibilities. If he really was, Nobody would teach him to plan and save.

He is in a new environment, far away from home...

Acidosis:
I think I understand his situation VERY WELL. Please do not force him into anything. Is your friendship a longstanding one? Do you have any idea about his medical history?

Just be good as a friend and let him live his dream the way he desires. If you have underlying plans (marriage?) with him, do not force your will. If you can't cope, look elsewhere for a Dangote or someone else with bigger dreams.

Some people are okay with 1 flat, 1 car or no car, food, water and sound health. In fact, I've met a lot more whose desires revolve around SERVING GOD, going to church, serving people and nothing more!

I know an Evangelist who burnt his certificates. Not everyone is greedy after all, we all must not hustle and die 'on top' currency like Dasuki, etc. A single stray bullet, or a ceased breath in 30seconds, and ops! DEATH!

Don't kill him please. Just take some time out of the city, and you'd discover that the so called poor villagers are happier with the little they have. What defines your own happiness (night clubs, swimming, picnic, etc.) may be offensive to another who loves his space (his movies, his books, game, and food).

I understand your analysis of the issue...

The diamond bank massive layoff of workers and the bad state of the economy should spurrr us to have a financial back up plan...

What if we lose this job (God Forbid)? No savings at all....

I'm not asking him to live in riches but just have a plan...

diportivo:
Na wa o

Person nor fit to borrow him guy money again?

Why r u calculating his money for him?are u his account officer?

Leave him joor

Some babies walk at 7months,some at 14months,and the goal of walking will still be attained by both babies

Worry not...he will grow up some day

He asked me to help him keep his head together...

I'm not against him giving his friend a loan but it has to be for something important...

Not for birthday celebration or to pay hotel bill...

Is he just a friend or is he a boyfriend?
sorry I don't know your sex

Op, if you can't cope with this in marriage, don't go in. This type of man will never - in fact you can never change a man who doesn't want to change.

If you can't cope with this in marriage, let him go now, no amount of talking, praying, begging or cajoling will change him.

tearoses:
Is he just a friend or is he a boyfriend?
sorry I don't know your sex

He is just a friend....I'm female

1money:
Op, if you can't cope with this in marriage, don't go in. This type of man will never - in fact you can never change a man who doesn't want to change.

If you can't cope with this in marriage, let him go now, no amount of talking, praying, begging or cajoling will change him.

He is just a friend and I'm female...

I just want him to be a better person....I'm tired of talking that's why I brought the issue out here so I'll show him the post and he will see his lifestyle is not normal....

For the sleeping issue, he said its good that his parents always like when they are sleeping to keep them out of trouble...

I said yes but as a child, that no parent will allow a mature man sleep as if his life depends on it...

keppyy:



He is just a friend....I'm female

Okay
If he is just a friend then you can do more without him feeling emasculated
for example you can ask that he gives you some money every month to keep aside for him
im assuming that you are trustworthy o!

Although to be honest, there are some easy going people who don't really care about riches and "noise"
They just live a simple easy life
If he is someone like that, Just make sure he has a little something saved away for a rainy day and then leave him alone.

tearoses:


Okay
If he is just a friend then you can do more without him feeling emasculated
for example you can ask that he gives you some money every month to keep aside for him
im assuming that you are trustworthy o!

Although to be honest, there are some easy going people who don't really care about riches and "noise"
They just live a simple easy life
If he is someone like that, Just make sure he has a little something saved away for a rainy day and then leave him alone.

Yes, it is that 'little' I'm asking him to save....

We earn almost 2million naira per annum and he has been working for 2years with a saving of 8000naira...

I have come to realize that nowadays girls/women are much more aggressive than guys in things money related. Ordinarily this would be good but they are relentless. They call it ambition, but Jesus it's something else now.

BoboYekini:
I have come to realize that nowadays girls/women are much more aggressive than guys in things money related. Ordinarily this would be good but they are relentless. They call it ambition, but Jesus it's something else now.

Do you think I'm overreacting?

I'm not asking him for money and we are not even dating...

keppyy:



Do you think I'm overreacting?

I'm not asking him for money and we are not even dating...

Nah, I'm just musing. Wouldn't ask you to go against your nature now, would we?

[quote author=BoboYekini post=46073875] Nah, I'm just musing. Wouldn't ask you to go against your nature now, would we? [/quote

I still don't understand you...

I don't see any issue with asking a man of about 30years to manage his finance properly...I'm not asking him to steal or go into fraud to make money...

I'm asking he manage the one he has been blessed with...

Okay...Maybe its none of my business...

We all have different default settings, some of us are worriers, always thinking and planning for rainy days ,some of us are just laid back and lethargic towards the future taking each day as it comes. It's okay for you to be concerned and supportive as you are being but you have to understand this is a grown man and there's very little you can do to change him.

If you continue going on about it you'll eventually come out as a nag and he might think you have an ulterior motive. A man in his 30s should know what he wants for himself and if he's not pushing for more perhaps he's content with the way things are.
We all have our definitions of contentment and happiness

CruellaDeville:
We all have different default settings, some of us are worriers, always thinking and planning for rainy days ,some of us are just laid back and lethargic towards the future taking each day as it comes. It's okay for you to be concerned and supportive as you are being but you have to understand this is a grown man and there's very little you can do to change him.

If you continue going on about it you'll eventually come out as a nag and he might think you have an ulterior motive. A man in his 30s should know what he wants for himself and if he's not pushing for more perhaps he's content with the way things are.
We all have our definitions of contentment and happiness

Well said...thank you

keppyy:



I understand your analysis of the issue...

The diamond bank massive layoff of workers and the bad state of the economy should spurrr us to have a financial back up plan...

What if we lose this job (God Forbid)? No savings at all....

I'm not asking him to live in riches but just have a plan...

Alright, I appreciate your good wishes for him. Your level of relationship with him would help define how best to help/support him. Are you guys dating? planning marriage?

OP let him be, atleast he is happy or would you derive joy to see him depressed?

Acidosis:


Alright, I appreciate your good wishes for him. Your level of relationship with him would help define how best to help/support him. Are you guys dating? planning marriage?

We are not dating at all... Just friends

keppyy:


We are not dating at all... Just friends

If he's 30, single, and exhibiting all these, then something is wrong. Try your best and leave the rest, experience is the best teacher.