Visit To The Villa
Mr President, sir. Good afternoon, sir. Sorry sir, oh. E pele, sir. Doh. Sorry, sir. I'm sorry I came late. I was in church when I got Uncle Lie's text message and I had to rush down. In fact, our service ended abruptly because we didn't have sufficient fuel and we couldn't get anywhere. It's not as if we even had money to buy the fuel sef. But Mr President, how are you feeling now? Sorry, sir. E pele, sir. You will soon be fine, she'ti gbo?
But sir, I don't understand oh. Uncle Lie said you were suffering from Mene Mene disease and that one of your ears was terribly aching. Is that true, sir? When did that one start? Can you hear me, sir? Hello? Okay, sir. But excuse, sir, I know how you got this disease oh. It's the fault of these Nigerians sha. Every time, they will be calling your name. There's no petrol, they will call Buhari. No tomatoes, they will call you. The country is in turmoil, they will call your name. Even the Niger Delta Avengers are busy avenging everywhere, they will still shout Buhari! Sir, why will you not go deaf when they want to blind your ears with complains?
But sir, have you heard that the country is difficult? I could not even pay offering today due to paucity of funds. Everything is just on the high side and they have not paid us since December last year. It's just the grace of God that has been keeping us. As for the Avengers, I heard that Zack Snyder wants to come and collabo with them. Sir, is that not a blessing to our pneumonic entertainment industry?
Sir, am I talking too much? Can you hear me, sir; because Uncle Femi Sina is looking at me out of the corner of his eyes. Sorry, sir. E pele, sorry.
Ehen, as I was saying, sir. You got this disease because of the people of God that you are leading. Don't mind them, oh? God will heal you. But they can complain sha. That reminds me sef. Sir, there's really no petrol oh and the price is even high. It's not as if I'm complaining sha oh, I’m just saying my own.
So sir, how are we going to do it now? Have you taken any drugs? Ah ah? You've not taken drugs bawo? Oh, they want to fly you abroad for treatment? Abroad ke? But Mr President, there are many hospitals in Nigeria na. Can't you just go and get treatment in one the big hospitals here? You don't trust the hospitals? Ah ah, shebi your people said you have disbursed money to revamp the health sector? Oh, you don't trust the doctors? Hehehehehehe. Don't mind them jare. They are just vexing. They have not been paid for months so you just have to pity them. Shebi you kukuma like to say that you feel our pains, so bear with the doctors. And you cannot even go to any University teaching hospital now. What do they have there that could possibly cure you? Sir, shey you can see that nothing is really working? That's why everybody is shouting your name upandan, making you go blind in one ear. Yeye Nigerians, they cannot just adjust; making noise everywhere. Mtsheeew. Sorry, sir. Hope the ear is not disturbing you?
So sir, that means you will still travel out abi? Hmmmmm. Okay oh. After all, not all of us can afford hospitals in Nigeria, not to talk of outside the country. Ordinary agbo we don't even have money to buy. Oya, go well, Mr President. I'm sure Prof can handle things when you're gone. He should be used to it by now. But sir, come back oh. We don't want 2010 to repeat itself oh! Before we will now hear that Prof is the new president.
Sorry sir, ehn? I've been talking too much. Don't mind me jare. Sorry sir. Doh. Let me be on my way now, sir. I will come check on you again before you fly out. Thank you, sir. Sorry, sir. Doh. E pele. You will soon be fine, inu go?
So sir, I’m going oh. I'm going, sir. Sir, I said I'm on my way. Sir…… Okay, sir. I don't have transport back home, sir. Oh. I should follow Aunty Kemi? Thank you very much, sir. Get well soon!
P.S: All sentences, words, clauses and phrases were deliberately used the writer; before una go dey think say I no know book.
I am Immanuel Eromonsele Ujiadughele I, and I wish the president speedy recovery.



Source: https://www.facebook.com/ujiadughelee1/posts/711427168960964

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