Vickyydera:
A man that truly loves you will do anything to please you, he will even spend a fortune on you.
I will advise you to stop spending on him, stop showing him you have money or pay his bills cos if you do he will be reluctant to buy you gifts and take care of your financial needs.

daddyrich:


I disagree with you completely. she needs a genuine advise not this...

buying gifts and meeting a woman's financial needs in a relationship is not all there is to prove true. love itself is priceless. though her boyfriend behavior is somehow worrisome but you need to find out why.

I have witnessed a practical case where a guy was showering the girlfriend with gifts and fancy outings in fancy places but he stopped immediately after wedding.

Next... are you sure this guy truly loves you or he's just tolerating you. if yes is answer, then I suggest you give him sometimes. he might be struggling with a past experiences which might have forced him to become too careful.

Besides buying you gifts how can you evaluate his love for you?

ErnieSmallzz:
wow i always thought i was very stingy but immediately i read this ur post, i found out i am still a learner beside ur boyfriend

OnaRegina:
When my boyfriend and I go out, I make sure to sometimes pay and don't leave him to pay all the time. I think I pay a lot of the time actually. He earns more than me. However, recently, we went out with some friends and when he tried to pay with his card, there was an issue with the POS machine so I had to pay for him and myself. He mentioned that he would give me the cash later for both of us. When we drove to the ATM later, he took out the complete amount (covering both our bills that I had paid). I noticed that he initially counted out the full amount but later only gave me the money he owed for just his own bill. He had told me in front of our friends that he would repay me the amount for both our bills and besides when he attempted to pay using POS at the restaurant, it was for both our bills. So I dont know why he did that.

Also, in the 9 months we've been together, he has never bought me a gift (not even on my birthday or valentines) and at Christmas, he gave me a book he'd just finished reading as my present. To be fair, I didnt give him anything for christmas but I did give him something for his birthday.

When I travelled, I asked him what he wanted and he said nothing as he didnt want to feel obliged to return the kindness. I found that odd. I wasnt trying to buy him something so he could return the favour. Nevertheless, I bought him a small gift anyway.

I spoke to him about it and told him that while I'm not expecting expensive gifts, giving in a relationship is nice. I suggested chocolates or flowers and he said he didnt know etc.

Are my expectations high (based on the brief background I've just given) or is this sounding like a stingy guy to you? I feel a bit resentful but want to be reasonable about the whole thing.

KingCheezyPuff:

I am serious cheezy. Do you watch Spongebob? U know the crab in that cartoon? The Op's boyfriend is more stingy than him

ErnieSmallzz:
I am serious cheezy. Do you watch Spongebob? U know the crab in that cartoon? The Op's boyfriend is more stingy than him

.. I was actually laughing at you an yer stinginess. Not op's bf.

Vickyydera:
From the writeup, I denoted that the supposed boyfriend doesn't love her the way she loves him. Love is meant to be reciprocated in a relationship.
He might be spending his dough on another woman.

SANDOSKI:

MRBrownJ:


Thanks for your response. I realise that giving isn't an olbigation. However, giving can show thoughtfulness or kindness towards the person you are giving to. Generousity is a positive trait. I am not forcing or expecting him to do anything against his will.

your BF was wrong there and you should have pointed that out then.



i guess you guys aint that different.... giving isnt an obligation

We aren't that different? It's me that was always offering and when I saw that he wasnt about that life, I chilled on it. Am I Jesus?[/b]


the man was honest enough to say he doesnt like being obligated to hand gifts, but instead you want him to act in ways that he isnt down with

[b]Nobody is obligating him. To say that i shouldnt buy you something because you dont want to have to do likewise is just funny. It shows a particular state of mind in my own opinion. Especially as i wasnt giving just so i could receive in return.
[/i]
giving for no reason whatsoever, or against ones will/wishes is wrong... if you wanna give gifts then by all means do so, and dont expect anything in return

I don't expect anything in return, nor do I ask for anything from him. I make no demands or requests. It's even nicer when someone gives ou something you never expected or requested.[i]


there is nothing like expecting a man to do what YOU desire... let him be himself, and either take it or leave it

sunnyt1:
I wont say much about the 1st case you narated, its completely illogical and i want to think he had something up his sleeves. Its totally impossible

Im quite bothered about the idea we have about love, reading thru comments here and what iv learnt from people overtime, is giving the only fruit of love? That seem to be the picture. Someone even said a guy who loves u will spend a fortune on u, thats absolutely worrisome. Nah, a guy who wants to use and dump u or who wants to cajole u will do everytin to impress u. Isnt this the reason behind gold-digging and manipulations in relationships lately?

Peoples' past experienece has a lot to do with how they spend in their subsequent relationships.

We need to know what love and stinginess really mean

daddyrich:


I disagree with you completely. she needs a genuine advise not this...

buying gifts and meeting a woman's financial needs in a relationship is not all there is to prove true. love itself is priceless. though her boyfriend behavior is somehow worrisome but you need to find out why.

I have witnessed a practical case where a guy was showering the girlfriend with gifts
and fancy outings in fancy places but he stopped immediately after wedding.

Next... are you sure this guy truly loves you or he's just tolerating you. if yes is answer, then I suggest you give him sometimes. he might be struggling with a past experiences which might have forced him to become too careful.

Besides buying you gifts how can you evaluate his love for you?

OnaRegina:
When my boyfriend and I go out, I make sure to sometimes pay and don't leave him to pay all the time. I think I pay a lot of the time actually. He earns more than me. However, recently, we went out with some friends and when he tried to pay with his card, there was an issue with the POS machine so I had to pay for him and myself. He mentioned that he would give me the cash later for both of us. When we drove to the ATM later, he took out the complete amount (covering both our bills that I had paid). I noticed that he initially counted out the full amount but later only gave me the money he owed for just his own bill. He had told me in front of our friends that he would repay me the amount for both our bills and besides when he attempted to pay using POS at the restaurant, it was for both our bills. So I dont know why he did that.

Also, in the 9 months we've been together, he has never bought me a gift (not even on my birthday or valentines) and at Christmas, he gave me a book he'd just finished reading as my present. To be fair, I didnt give him anything for christmas but I did give him something for his birthday.

When I travelled, I asked him what he wanted and he said nothing as he didnt want to feel obliged to return the kindness. I found that odd. I wasnt trying to buy him something so he could return the favour. Nevertheless, I bought him a small gift anyway.

I spoke to him about it and told him that while I'm not expecting expensive gifts, giving in a relationship is nice. I suggested chocolates or flowers and he said he didnt know etc.

Are my expectations high (based on the brief background I've just given) or is this sounding like a stingy guy to you? I feel a bit resentful but want to be reasonable about the whole thing.

Thanks for your sensible comments/advice.

OnaRegina:


It isnt just about what I desire though. Relationships are a two-way thing, aren't they? If a man will be stingy, he shouldn't come to my house expecting me to give him any food, abeg. [i][/i]

DLondonboiy:
nwanne, your boifriend is taking stinginess to a whole new level...