Stats: 3,186,583 members, 7,929,875 topics. Date: Saturday, 24 August 2024 at 04:53 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Should I Hold On Or Just Move On (6324 Views)
Am I Foolishly In Love Or Just Over-reacting? / Should I Hold On Or Break Up? / Should I Hold On Or Let Go? Help!!!! (2) (3) (4)
Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by sweerychick(f): 11:21pm On Jun 17, 2016 |
Okay, this is my first appearance as a nairalander, I normally visit this site as a guest, but due to my pressing issue I had to do a quick registration to seek advice from mature minds only. I've been in a relationship with this guy whom is my first love, for close to 4yrs now, I met him in university when I was a fresher, and he was in his finals then, he's tall (6ft, 3), chocolate skinned, and really good looking. Not that I was attracted to him because of his physical appearance, but he has a heart of gold, very caring, understanding and always there for me when I needed him. He was the one that deflowered me. Anyways soon after his Nysc in Oyo state 2013, by then I was in my 2nd year, he told me that he would love to marry me, that I am all that he desires, with all his sweet words, I accepted but on the condition that he allow me finish school, and do my NYSC, he agreed. Things were really moving on fine for us both until 2014 when he got a job with zenith bank, I noticed a lot had changed in him, he doesn't call me as he used to and he hardly pick up my own calls. Sometimes when I request for us to see he'll give me a thousand and one excuses for us not to see, sometimes his phones would be switched off for days, and when I finally get to reach him, he'll tell me that he's busy that I should call him later. When I call him later he will make our conversation so brief, not up to a min, sometimes 30 seconds. One day I was able to confront him at his place, and asked him why he's treating me this way he apologised to me and told me that I know that his work is very demanding, bank stress and all that coupled with his family ( he's the first child and his father is late) he's taking care of his mum and siblings. I accepted all that excuses, then later that day he told me that I should go back to school that he's expecting one of his cousin, I asked him which of his cousins he said that it's not my business, that I should just go, I insisted to stay because I'm in my boyfriends house and your cousin will understand, instead he got angry and for the first time he slapped and assaulted me, I cried and left the house, his friend saw me later that night and I explained everything to him, he said okay he'll talk to my boyfriend. My boyfriend in question didn't call me untill after 4days, he sent me a text message, telling me sorry, then afterwards he called me. I refused picking up his calls, then he sent his friend to mediate on his behalf. When I finally saw him (my boyfriend) he told me that he's so sorry about what he did, and promised for it not to happen again. I chose to forgive him under the condition that he will try and change, which he hasn't, he still does the same thing to me till now, even worse. I'm tired of his nonsense, and I really want to move on, but one mind is telling me to stay. I really love this guy and I don't know how my world would be if I loose him... Please advice me on what to do.. I don't think I can love any other person the way I love him. Matured advice please 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by Nobody: 11:27pm On Jun 17, 2016 |
One problem about first love is that we always think it is the most beautiful love and we will never love another like we loved our first love DELUSION. Sign: Anonymous, Nairaland 2016. 17 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by beejaybig: 11:29pm On Jun 17, 2016 |
Can understand every pain u feel but in all honesty it seems d guy doesn't luv U anymore n if dat be d case, U just have to move on n I know u can n will survive it. Be strong for ur own good n move on with ur life but if u can still talk to him abt it u can still try. 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by Nobody: 11:29pm On Jun 17, 2016 |
How do you know you won't find a better lover when you have not even tried. The worst thing a man can do to you is to assault you. If he refuses to change why don't you continue your education and enjoy your life day after day, you may not know when you have moved on and VOILA, your Mr Right will come. Goodluck 4 Likes |
Re: Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by Nobody: 11:36pm On Jun 17, 2016 |
Omo Jagagban.. First love always feel like loving the most wonderful person that you can't live without. But truly it gets better when you start loving someone else. My point is that if he keeps treating you like some statue to ignore. Just leave him alone and go epp yourself. There are One thousand and one male out there who are better than him and are ready to love you till thy kingdom come. 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by 2dice01: 11:38pm On Jun 17, 2016 |
you have the answer with you... |
Re: Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by Laveda(f): 11:42pm On Jun 17, 2016 |
Babe you're the one in this not us. ![]() How long are you gonna endure the pains? Do you think he'll change? Ever thought about the sudden change of attitude? I think you shouldn't continue enduring pains all cause of 'first love' hey look out, there are better men out there, you can't keep going through all that.. But at the end it's up to you, make the right choice, you the one wearing the shoe you know where it hurts. ![]() 4 Likes |
Re: Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by toocutehector(m): 11:47pm On Jun 17, 2016 |
Like seriously I just don't get this. Estharfabian, pls if I should give u a resounding hot slap, will u forgive me since I am ur brother in the lord? ![]() ![]() |
Re: Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by falconey(m): 11:48pm On Jun 17, 2016 |
toocutehector: lwkm , too cute?? hahahhahha.....I gbadun this new moniker o |
Re: Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by toocutehector(m): 11:50pm On Jun 17, 2016 |
falconey:lol thanks to my e-friend Esther. She is the brain behind it ![]() She really knws how cute I can be ![]() |
Re: Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by Nobody: 11:51pm On Jun 17, 2016 |
Tori owo ofe alhaji ![]() #singing# |
Re: Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by Nobody: 11:54pm On Jun 17, 2016 |
Omittesb: Nice one ![]()
|
Re: Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by falconey(m): 11:55pm On Jun 17, 2016 |
toocutehector: she is a true friend , she wants ladies to bombard you with PM's. good luck . |
Re: Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by toocutehector(m): 12:00am On Jun 18, 2016 |
falconey:lmao.. nairaland ladies can be akpo-ish in terms of sending pm eh. Kai. Dem go like guy oo, buh to hit send pm button na like havard law exam.. |
Re: Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by Nobody: 12:06am On Jun 18, 2016 |
Re: Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by falconey(m): 12:07am On Jun 18, 2016 |
toocutehector: lwkm.........them want make him magically know say them like the certain guy and make the guy send the P.m . make he no be say Na them dey offer the product to customer no be customer request and demand. |
Re: Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by gabriel4u(m): 12:07am On Jun 18, 2016 |
It's obvious he as no regards for you anymore. Life goes on my dear after all am a guy too... Nothing can change us. If truly he loves you he would have took time from no time to check on you. There are thousands of guyz out there, who would cherish u. Don't forget u still building ur tomorrow.(studying). Wish u the best. |
Re: Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by toocutehector(m): 12:10am On Jun 18, 2016 |
falconey:dah one concern dem.. da kyn theory no dey exist for my dictionary.. any babe wey like me wey expect me make I "magically" knw say she like me, she go grow methuselah beards for her oto... |
Re: Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by EWAagoyin(m): 12:12am On Jun 18, 2016 |
Madam he don drop u off. ... Maybe one guy in same level with you in the school loves u whole heartly but because u wanna date tall guy with higher level see where you are now hmmm 1 Like |
Re: Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by abbeyology88(m): 12:12am On Jun 18, 2016 |
Sweetheart, you have a beautiful future ahead of you. That guy in question does not love you anymore. That's how we (guys) behave when we want to drop out of it. And who said you can't find a better guy? I bet you when the right guy comes your way, you would even regret knowing this guy you call you Love right now. The issue you're having is that he his the one who deflowered you and to me, that's you first love. Na so e dey do person. My dear, pls, MOVE ON and enjoy life. Tip: try hanging out with your friends and play a lot wit them, that will help you get your boiling heart cool and forget worries. *wink* |
Re: Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by Starlet50(m): 12:18am On Jun 18, 2016 |
Initially,I wanted to dismiss this thread as another useless nairaland relationship stories but the 'deflowering' part held me spellbound(I can relate to something like that).First love(sweet love) perfect and bright and it always seems to be the best thing that can ever happen to you.In my own opinion,maybe (1)he's trying to focus on his career and he wouldn't want u to finish sch and get married to a poor nigga so he's hustling (2)He's jst staying around so no other guy can have you.yeah dat stupid idea of keeping a wife material girlfriend while messing around wit other girls jst to go back to her when he's ready for marriage. (3)He's done with u and he doesn't want to tell u.Probably,because he doesn't want u to start crying about dat he broke ur heart.Ask his friend more about this.My Advice:Leave him,if he really wants u,he will come looking for u,not the other way round.The only reason u feel attached to him is because he's ur first love and he deflowered u.But make no mistake,u will neva love another guy the way u love him.Trust me I've been there. 1 Like 1 Share
|
Re: Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by njiasi30(f): 12:24am On Jun 18, 2016 |
My dear, it hurts when u love s/o and he does nt luv u in return. U re hurting urself D more by trying to force urself on him. It's obvious he does nt luv u, d hand writing is clear so move on with ur life. Never chase luv, if it isn't given freely, it isn't worth having. I Pray u find s/o dat is far more better Dan him. Cheer up ![]() |
Re: Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by BabaAlabi: 2:31am On Jun 18, 2016 |
|
Re: Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by mashnino(m): 4:23am On Jun 18, 2016 |
When you started the story.. You were like "he has a gold heart" And then when i got to the assault part, i hissed 3 times whilst smh Aunty move on.. Help yourself... 1 Like |
Re: Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by Nobody: 5:28am On Jun 18, 2016 |
sweerychick: Please, move on! His attitude towards you shows he has lost interest. He has also shown signs of violence, that's the Green Light for you to leave! What makes you think he'll change? Today, it's a slap... Tomorrow, he's throwing you down the stairs. Leave him. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by Nobody: 7:13am On Jun 18, 2016 |
Honestly, these kind of things could be difficult to deal with sometimes... When your heart's dictating and you just can't be sensible. You love him, that's why you're finding it pretty hard to let go. But, you need to face reality, there isn't any fulfilment in that relationship with him acting that way. You're hopeful...waiting for a change, waiting for that sweet old him to reawaken, waiting for him to see that you're right for him and would be all he ever needs. Bitter truth is that he won't be realizing any of those anytime soon, as long as you decide to stick with him and tolerate his misdemeanors. It's hard. I totally understand your dilemma. But you just have to make the decision to walk away and cut him out of your life. If you and him will ever have a beautiful relationship again, this just might be the only way possible. An advice on how to go about it... I don't think you should "formally" break up with him. He might find a way to sweet talk you to stay, or worse still, accept the breakup scornfully expecting that you'll come back to him. Just cut off communication totally with him and stop seeing him. #My opinion. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by photoshoot(m): 7:15am On Jun 18, 2016 |
Re: Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by Nobody: 8:22am On Jun 18, 2016 |
toocutehector:Ehn ![]() fvck, why ![]() |
Re: Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by NemzySeries(m): 8:37am On Jun 18, 2016 |
gals are wonderfully & fearfully made walahi......aw wud a man b beating & directly giving u signs dat U're no longer significant to hiz life & all u cud do or say is "I still luv him wit all my life & heart" jst bkos he deflowered u instead of but ur emotions behind & wait 4 d man dat wud turn ur deflowered heart into a Garden of Roses......... lemme tell u sumtin it only takes d grace of God 4 a man to luv 1 woman & TankGod U've noticed hiz weakness early enuf to wake up frm ur emotional sleep & get moving. Dis 1 U're saying u luv him wit ur life lemme ask u dis question "if he wuz dead wud u follow him to d grave bkos U're inluv, emotionaly tied to him or bkos he deforested u"? 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by nsiazu: 8:42am On Jun 18, 2016 |
![]() 1. Its because he deflowered you and you lost your virginity that's why you can't let go. 2. You have realized that he loved you before but after he has seen all your body and used you he no longer likes it again because he has had sex with you and wants something new now. 3. Don't force yourself on him again. Its a lesson to other girls reading this that 99% of guys that have a virgin girlfriend will do same if you allow them have sex with you. 4. No guy is worth your virginity except your husband because he has sworn and paid your bride price. 5. You have to move on @sweerychick. Leave him and move on. Don't force yourself on any guy that comes again and don't have sex again until you are married. You are now a virgin from today if you can make this decision. 6. Start to love your religion. if Christian, love Jesus Christ and if Muslim love your religion too. That's the way you will see he will leave your mind. 7. I hope I've helped someone. Remember @sweerychick Jesus Christ loves you more than anyone on earth. 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by sweerychick(f): 9:58am On Jun 18, 2016 |
mashnino:he only did it once outta anger, and I don't really blame him cos I was really stubborn that day and wanted to create a scene, because he was driving me nuts. besides he hasn't assaulted me again, except for his non charlatan and uncaring attitude towards me, which I'm sick and tired of. I just wish things could be the same with both of us as it used to be before he got his job |
Re: Should I Hold On Or Just Move On by ArinzeAlec(m): 10:45am On Jun 18, 2016 |
Dude apparently looks like he has moved on. Clearly distance yourself from him for the while. Dont be available to him always. Form busy with your lectures too. Then, If the brother asks you to see him, tell him you cant with flamzy excuse. Then watch him razzle for your love baby girl. If you get done with him, you can hit my DM. |
I Am In Need Of A Long Cucumber, And I Need It Now.- Hot Lady Cried Out / MEN!! No Woman Deserves The Ring, They Are ALL H0es, Go Mgtow!(photos) - Redpill / My "Wife To Be" Blocked Me On Whatsapp, Two Days Later She Got Married
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 68 |