Good evening members in the house. I purposely brought this topic to this section (family) cos I blive i'll have a mature responses and contributions.

I'll try to be brief as possible.
I met this lady 2014 but we started dating November last year. It took her a whole year for her to accept dating me.

But then, she told me that, there is something she will tell any man who desire to marry her bt, depend on the level of seriousness of the man.

Then, I took what she planned telling her hubby to be as nothing serious nt until d relationship began to wax stronger. After being in the relationship for a while, I discovered she posses virtually all d qualities I desire in a lady and wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with her.

I tried to make her tell me what she has in mind that she plan to tell her hubby to be, she refused. At this stage, our both parents re aware of our relationship and we planned to have our INTRO this June.

I proposed to her last week, she accepted and busted to tears. Initially, I thought it was a tears of joy, nt knowing it was something entirely different from my thought.

I took her home with different feelings within me since she couldn't stop crying. When we got to their house b4 she alighted, she hold my hands and told me me 'she's HIV positive'

I was startled for minutes. She said I should think about it if I still want the relationship.

I have make enquiries from Doctors if both of us can marry and He said yes Bt the am nt still convince. Please, Nairalanders, I need ur sincere advice on this issue...

Chaiiiii



Hmmmm what can I say oooo

But op are u sure?
Have u been sleeping with her? Unprotected?

Hmmm

***Modified ***
My dear,love conquers all it hides multitude of sin.
What of if she didn't tell you? and insisted you penetration raw? What would u have done if u became positive too?

Bros, it's one thing to meet a woman, it another difficult I mean very difficult thing to meet one who's ready to tell you all.
I ain't a doctor, but I know there is a way u both could go about it.
Also never you forget... The Balm of Gilead, he whose spoken words, turns captivity to joy. My dear op, take that case to him. Cuz I know and I tell u when every efforts his own can never, will never fail.

Goodluck to u and ur woman... May God Keep you both together. Amen

Yes, we had sex just once and it was protected

Omo see gobe...

...but love conqueres all

Oro pesi je


See u see gbege
U can go ahead if d doctor assure u


Are u sure u av nver had unprotected sex with her.

All d best

For those of you asking if he had unprotected s3x with her, he could have unprotected s3x without contracting the virus.
A man contracting the HIV from a lady is very slim except there are cracks. But a lady contracts it immediately a male carrier ejaculates in her, no matter the quantity of fluid.

Back to your concern OP. You may have to be sure that she isn't pulling your legs to watch your reaction. She may possibly be trying to gauge how you will tolerate or discriminate against disability.

histemple:

For those of you asking if he had unprotected s3x with her, he could have unprotected s3x without contracting the virus.
[/b]A man contracting the HIV from a lady is very slim except there are cracks. But a lady contracts it immediately a male carrier ejaculates in her, no matter the quantity of fluid.[b]

Back to your concern OP. You may have to be sure that she isn't pulling your leggs to watch your reaction.

Pls do not misinform people.

The HIV clinic is filled with both men and women, young and old. Boys n girls that are 18years, 20s inclusive, men and women in their 60s are also not left out.

We've both gone for test

Gasout:
We've both gone for test

and the result?

go for a test at a general hospital first to be sure..who knows she might use that to scare you just to know the kind of love you have for her..and if truely she is infected my brother alatise eh loma mo atise reh o

eyinjuege:


Pls do not misinform people.

The HIV clinic is filled with both men and women, young and old. Boys n girls that are 18years, 20s inclusive, men and women in their 60s are also not left out.

I didn't say they can't contract the virus through s3x, what I said was that chances for female to male transmission is SLIMMER than male to female. In s3x, the female is the receptor while the male is the depositor.
The virus is infectious and not contagious. It can't be transmitted via physical contact. It is mostly via blood.

Besides, s3x is just one of the many possibilities of contracting the virus, and that explains why we have a lot of virgin carriers of the dreaded virus.

The babe de try one trick she learn from Nollywood on you bro

histemple:


I didn't say they can't contract the virus through s3x, what I said was that chances for female to male transmission is SLIMMER than male to female. In s3x, the female is the receptor while the male is the depositor.
The virus is infectious and not contagious. It can't be transmitted via physical contact. It is mostly via blood.

Besides, s3x is just one of the many possibilities of contracting the virus, and that explains why we have a lot of virgin carriers of the dreaded virus.

Oga what are you saying nao. The chances of a male contracting the virus during unprotected sex is equal to that of the female because there's definitely going to be exchange of body fluids

*modified*. It has been brought to my notice that I was wrong about what i posted and I've taken corrections.

Gasout:
We've both gone for test

...incomplete sentence.. is this how you narrate story and you seek advice
i can see why this thread is not getting attention
after test is she confirmed positive?

carmag:


...incomplete sentence.. is this how you narrate story and you seek advice

i can see why this thread is not getting attention

after test is she confirmed positive?

My thouught exactly
D story seems like a fiction to me not reality.
He is seeking for attention
D story is incoherent
In d 1st story he nver said they went for a test
And even if u go for a test,u should say d result and not to make every one guessing as if d test is a quiz competition that cannot b released
He is a goood story teller to me

She's positive while mine is negative

4reala:
and the result?

Yes sir and mine is negative. But, the Doctor asked me to come for another test next 3 month.
Note: we only had protected sex just once

carmag:


...incomplete sentence.. is this how you narrate story and you seek advice

i can see why this thread is not getting attention

after test is she confirmed positive?

histemple:


I didn't say they can't contract the virus through s3x, what I said was that chances for female to male transmission is SLIMMER than male to female. In s3x, the female is the receptor while the male is the depositor.
The virus is infectious and not contagious. It can't be transmitted via physical contact. It is mostly via blood.

Besides, s3x is just one of the many possibilities of contracting the virus, and that explains why we have a lot of virgin carriers of the dreaded virus.

There aren't a lot of virgin carriers.
The ones you see are usually infected at birth by their mums and have grown up all their lives with the disease, coming regularly for treatment at the clinics or through blood transfusion.
Sex is the major way it's transmitted in Naija, and not just gay sex but sex between man and woman. Women too do have vaginal secretions, and can deposit. Men also catch other STIs from women like gonorrhea, syphillis, chlamydia and you'd agree with me those are quite common despite the men being the "depositors", and not the "receptors".
I understand the chances of a woman getting it from a sexual encounter is higher than a man's but I honestly don't think the difference is so much to be ignored.
We funny enough do have serodiscordant couples where one is positive and the other is negative despite being married or coupled up for years. Those ones seem to have some form of immunity against the virus.
Anyways, everyone should be responsible for their sexual health, and should always wear a condom. Partners should equally get tested and stay faithful to one another.

Do you think she is worth ruining your life for? I can't marry a HIV positive person,even if you like be an angel. capisce!

Gasout:
She's positive while mine is negative

gud, I think she acted wrongly by waiting too long to inform u about this. Even allowing u to do intro. Damn, she wass trying to tak u to a point of no return. Where u either face d shame of telling ur parent or keep quiet and continue wit d marriage cos of d love she had helped u build around her.
Before I giv my final suggestion, I will like u to knw who suggested protection, when both of u made love?

Its up to you (Your life at the end of the day) but if you are going ahead make sure you get as much information on what to expect as possible. Go in fully armed with info so you are fully prepared.

Next time when someone is telling you they wont tell you something until you are committed tell them to say it now or get lost

Something as serious and as life changing as this should have been mentioned much earlier on before emotions are involved. To me this reeks of deception. She knew what she was doing.

The truth is that HIV is not child's play and things like this should be disclosed much earlier on & not wait until long into the relationship.

Meehnnnn. I shouted on your behalf o when reading this.

She should have told you. Since! This is not a secret to be kept this long. This is the equivalent of telling you she has a child, is barren or is a robot with Artificial Intelligence created by an Alien lifeform, few weeks to the wedding.

Hmm. Go to a hospital, a Federal or State one (Teaching hospital is better). Tell them to counsel you (they usually have counselling groups for people living with HIV). Also, ask her if she goes for counselling and follow her. Ask her for her drugs, take a good look at them. Who pays for them? Get every single info you can, there is no more time for secrets. In fact, if she insists on not telling you anything, threaten to walk away. She has to make it clear beyond a shadow of doubt what your reality will be.

Then decide if you want to live with it or not. And all the best in your decision.

But if she's lying, call off the wedding. For now. Because she's a dunce. Which kain nonsense test be dat??

That girl is evil, very evil.
there is nothing 4 u to contemplate other dan walking away. If u have a contagious terminal disease,u need 2 let the person u are in a sexual relationship with know immediately.It is not fair nd such a person can never be trusted.

I perfectly understand that it was hard for her to tell you the truth BUT she should have done it before sleeping with you. Even though you two used protection, her decision to have s.ex with you without telling you that she is HIV positive was highly irresponisble to say the least. In some countries, she could have been jailed for this.

It is your decision whether you want to marry someone who is HIV positive and you know if you can be married to a woman you will have to use condoms with for the rest of your life BUT if you leave her, tell her to warn any man that she is HIV positive BEFORE she sleeps with them. Some people will kill her if she does what she did with you.

And the person above who acts like the risk of a man contracting HIV is minimal needs to be banned for spreadig dangerous misinformation.

Op, it hurts but I think it's best u call off d engagement. It's just like one lying abt his/her genotype, dis is a health issue which ought 2 have been discussed ab initio.
I don't think she is worth d risk.

You don't tell a child to remove hand from fire, Do you?

..ok op you can go ahead with the marriage remember you loves her so much, and love conqueret everything

and again love is blind.. yes we all agree

ok ...again ....don't brake her heart u know she also loves u as wells

you'll be happily married as long as you use condom to enjoy the rest of the marriage...
no problem you'll be safe

but if eventually you have unprotected sex with her..

"""hehehe don't come here again to open another thread

Now this is serious.

Keeping the information from you for that long is where the problem is.She should have been open with you from the start.
I have seen some men/women go ahead with marriage in situations like this.It's left for you to decide.
Get well informed if you decide to.

@op. Harsh as it may sound, do your sanity a favour by taking a walk away from that relationship and don't look back.

She's given you the option to go, you've had a chat with the medical practitioners and yet you aren't fully convinced. Why? Because deep down within you, you know it's the right thing for you to do.

Save both yourselves further grief and just end it. You'll get over her with time. Meanwhile, there are other girls out there to pick a wife from.

To be very candid, I'll walk away...
I share the same thought with Vickyydera. Nothing, I repeat Nothing will make me go ahead with such...
This is for all....by all means #StayClean

Na wa oooooo, when you thought you have heard it all and you see this. She should have even told you before having sex with you either protected or unprotected, what if something was wrong with the condom during the act? even condom manufacturers said it is only 99.9% safe, the remaining 0.1 could be disastrous you know. @Gasout, "Love Conquers all" but before going deep into the relationship think it about it carefully and be sure you really want to do it if not its best you go your separate ways so you wouldn't end up miserable and also making her life more miserable along the line. But there are a lot of magnetic couples (when a partner is infected and the other is not. Don't mind me I learnt that word from SHUGA) who have had great stories to tell. maybe you should get yourself more enlightened about it before going into it. Ask God for direction and he will guide you. Decide and act wisely. Be blessed.

Was she wrong for not telling you about her HIV status? Totally.

Was she being a little deceitful? Yes

Thank God you're test came out negative. Its a difficult decision to make, and one you must think deeply about.
If you decide to go ahead with the marriage plans, it'd be difficult, cus even your professed undying love for her will be tested greatly.
You could just walk away and move on with your life, in a couple of months you'd be over the disappointment and probably meet someone new.
Tough choice OP, but I believe there's nothing love cannot conquer and there's nothing God cannot do. I'd probably get bashed for saying this, but I've heard of instances where God cured HIV carriers. Pray with her, pray for her, believe God can do it. It is well with u