Hello Nairalanders,

I really need you advice because I don't really know how react to this. Whether to get angry or happy or indifferent.
I'll make the story as short as possible so I don't bore you.

I've been seeing this girl for more than 7 months now. She's 25. For real she's the kinda girl every man would want. That kinda girl you give 30k to get things for herself and she ends up spending 10k getting you things too.
Her humility, homeliness, sense of humor and beauty has got me thinking about the future. She just doesn't bore you for one minute. Am already thinking we are a couple.

Now! She told me about a vigil in her church. Invited me, though I don't like vigils (I hate anything that deprives me of a goodnight rest). I gave in and we both went for it.

Getting there, organisers and the invited guest said it was a deliverance vigil. Wetin concern me?
Soon they started. Guys like me just lock up. I saw girls dancing ajasco, shoki, alingo and other steps you could think of as they delivered them. I pondered within me "why e be say na only girls de carry all the demons, abi the demons de fear men?" As they continued dancing, fear begin hold me about ma girl oh. What if dis girl come dance her own? Anyway make we de see.

The pastor got to me, laid his hands "Nothing come out" turn my head left, right, east, west, north and south. I just lock up. He left me and went to my girl. Started na, first nothing happened oh.

Later, I started hearing " you're possessed with a seductive spirit, immoral spirit and fornication" I was like "What the hell?"

I wasn't angry the pastor said this things, I was just angry he couldn't just get on with the deliverance and talk to her later because I have been to churches where they deliver people, they just deliver you and talk about what's wrong later. They do this to preserve ones' dignity.
He just said a lot of many trash. I knew right there and then he just broke up my relationship when he said "Cut of relationship with any man and sex or you destiny will be destroyed "

Wetin I do this pastor na?

Now to set the records straight,
I disvirgined this girl (no jokes)
We haven't even had sex up to 8 times.

After the whole thing, we both went home. Walked her down and I went home.
Now, she hasn't said a word since Wednesday, I just don't know what to do? It's tearing me apart.

Though she told me she felt ashamed and scared when the pastor just spilled those stuffs.

I know exactly how women react to certain things especially when it's their pastor.
Why has religion just gotten a hold on women like this?
Does the pastor mean she shouldn't have sex or be in any relationship?
What exactly does he mean?

Guys I love this girl, I mean, I really love her. Am a man, I know when I love something. But I feel this religious metaphor is just tearing everything I cherish apart.
Please, how do I win this?
How do I get through to her?
I can't stop thinking about her

P.S - You can insult me. Yes! I know that crew. Truth is, I don't care. Mature advice will also be given so don't waste your energy.

Hey bro, tell dat pastor to go to hell.. and please marry that woman! If u leave her u are a coward!

ReabridCharles:

Why, in heaven's sake, should you take anything a pastor says seriously? If you don't, convince your girl not to.

Since she has all the qualities you need in a woman...Stop fornication with her and make her your wife.#Case closed.

@reabridcharlse Before I say anything, I'll like to know where the problem is coming from. From you or the girl?

church

***modified****

Dont allow that to scatter your relationship bro, just assure her of marriage( words go a long way) and make sure you live up to that... thats the only way to undo what that pastor has done bro ...

Hmmmmmm

OreoPaschal:
Since she has all the qualities you need in a woman...Stop fornication with her and make her your wife.#Case closed.

said it all..

STFUareyouG0d:
Before I say anything, I'll like to know where the problem is coming from. From you or the girl?

Read the post again. The deliverance wasn't on me. It was on her.

When it comes to Women deliverance, 'Pastors' have a full record of what should always be wrong with them. Abeg don't let it disturb you one bit, my advice is, if you truly love her as you've said, stop sex, put a ring on her and proceed with making it work even better than before.

talk2alabama:
Hey bro, tell dat pastor to go to hell.. and please marry that woman! If u leave her u are a coward!

Am not giving up on her man. I just hope she's not too.

How can he claim she has all those spirits? Someone you just de flowered. Forget the "pastor" and that church.

bicmitchum:


Why, in heaven's sake, should you take anything a pastor says seriously? If you don't, convince your girl not to.

Women and religion. How do I tell her the pastor she believes in is suddenly saying trash?

ReabridCharles:


Read the post again. The deliverance wasn't on me. It was on her.

I know, I understand you story. What I'm asking is, are you having problem with her cuz of what the pastor said? Cuz of the no sexx? Or shes staying away from you cuz the pastor told her to stay away from her BF?

OreoPaschal:
Since she has all the qualities you need in a woman...Stop fornication with her and make her your wife.#Case closed.

That's an option am willing to take. But seriously, you don't just wake up one morning and get married. Doesn't work like that.

OreoPaschal:
Since she has all the qualities you need in a woman...Stop fornication with her and make her your wife.#Case closed.

My thoughts exactly

1. Tell her no more sex till u marry
2. Get an engagement ring
3. Propose
4. Get married
5. Thank us later

STFUareyouG0d:
I know, I understand you story. What I'm asking is, are you having problem with her cuz of what the pastor said? Cuz of the no sexx? Or shes staying away from you cuz the pastor told her to stay away from her BF?

Seriously I don't know. I don't have issues with her but like I wrote, she's not talking to me. Her number is switched off. I don't just know what to do. The only tin she ever said was "am ashamed of myself "

Funny sturffs I don't know why people, especially Nigerians take pastors as God That girl is possessed if she agrees to what the pastor said Oponu Nigerians do not have a mind of their own

Targaeryian:


My thoughts exactly

1. Tell her no more sex till u marry
2. Get an engagement ring
3. Propose
4. Get married
5. Thank us later

Bro, you want me to hurry myself because of what a pastor said? C'mon... Na Nigeria you de oh...

theEYe21:
Funny sturffs I don't know why people, especially Nigerians take pastors as God That girl is possessed if she agrees to what the pastor said Oponu Nigerians do not have a mind of their own

What do I do? Am hurting

jopretty:
When it comes to Women deliverance, 'Pastors' have a full record of what should always be wrong with them. Abeg don't let it disturb you one bit, my advice is, if you truly love her as you've said, stop sex, put a ring on her and proceed with making it work even better than before.

My dear, e no de worry me oh. Wetin de worry be say she go just go dark because of wetin pastor talk.

maxti:
How can he claim she has all those spirits? Someone you just de flowered. Forget the "pastor" and that church.

That's the funniest tin. I disflowered her

Lmao! He said she has a fornicative spirit,does she fornicate with other men?? He said if she has sex with a man ,she will destroy his destiny,has your hustle been going fine lately? I'm sure your babe fine ,so for seductive spirit,no problem..what u need now is to seat her down and make her see reasons why keeping silent isn't the best solution..pray about it and look for ways to remove those spirits (that's if she has oo) cos truly how many real pastors do we have nowadays.communication is key bruh...iv always wondered why I don't fall when pastors begin to run deviverance ,u go see women dey dirty their cloth say na deliverance them dey reciv...

ReabridCharles:


Seriously I don't know. I don't have issues with her but like I wrote, she's not talking to me. Her number is switched off. I don't just know what to do. The only tin she ever said was "am ashamed of myself "

Go see her, be free with her, show her you aren't bothered about the whole hogwash from the pastor. Make her feel relaxed and safe with you. She might be feeling embarrassed and all that, but try make her feel there's nothing to be worried about.

If she's acting up truly cuz she feels embarrassed like she claimed, then you can still have her back. But if she's acting strange cuz she's acting according to the pastors BULLSHYT advice to cut you off, I'm afraid you might not have her back. Cuz girls and believing pastors are like 5 & 6.

During my NYSC year, I lost my girl to this same 'my mum's pastor said I should cut off with my present BF' BULLSHYT

I wish you all the best sha

Go back and ask that pastor for advice concerning both of you and your future plans for her. This will most likely reveal some things to confirm the word of the pastor and how genuine he is. Good luck.

If she worship pastor like her God leave her, if she's not that kind of person and has a mind of her own, she's worth it.

ReabridCharles:


What do I do? Am hurting

Dexema:
Go back and ask that pastor for advice concerning both of you and your future plans for her. This will most likely reveal some things to confirm the word of the pastor and how genuine he is. Good luck.

Thanks but no tanx. Am not going back der

Then have a long talk with her, ask her what she makes of what he's said and her decision not forgetting to remind her of your undying love.

ReabridCharles:


My dear, e no de worry me oh. Wetin de worry be say she go just go dark because of wetin pastor talk.

STFUareyouG0d:
Go see her, be free with her, show her you aren't bothered about the whole hogwash from the pastor. Make her feel relaxed and safe with you. She might be feeling embarrassed and all that, but try make her feel there's nothing to be worried about.

If she's acting up truly cuz she feels embarrassed like she claimed, then you can still have her back. But if she's acting strange cuz she's acting according to the pastors BULLSHYT advice to cut you off, I'm afraid you might not have her back. Cuz girls and believing pastors are like 5 & 6.

During my NYSC year, I lost my girl to this same 'my mum's pastor said I should cut off with my present BF' BULLSHYT

I wish you all the best sha

Thanks man...

ReabridCharles:


Am not giving up on her man. I just hope she's not too.

nice one. She won't give up on u either

ReabridCharles:


Thanks man...

you welcome

Op, I think this is actually the best thing that happened to you. Because if you guys were married this would have been a bigger problem.

Now the only person that can convince her to stay with you and choose you over the pastor on this forum is you. You have spent alot of time with her, so just relax and think about how she reasons and you will come up with something. And know that it may take some time, it hard to debunk a strong believe. If you also get through this you will know that you have reduced an external influence on your relationship (it's hard enough managing it without them sometimes).

But if you think it's a general women problem and there is someone in nairaland with a manual on how women work, abeg send me a copy or borrow me after you are done.

But seriously, Goodluck