EgunMogaji:


Response embedded in original post.

If you review all my responses, you will never point out any RUDE or DENIGRATING remark while contesting your views or projecting mine.

However, I will want to plead with you to stop quoting my submissions if it's difficult for you to make your points without resorting to insults.

Words/phrases like "your frankly immature submissions", "obtuse data", etc are not ones I can entertain for long.

Thank you.

histemple:


If you review all my responses, you will never point out any RUDE or DENIGRATING remark while contesting your views or projecting mine.
However, I will want to plead with you to stop quoting my submissions if it's difficult for you to make your points without resorting to insults.

Words/phrases like "your frankly immature submissions", "obtuse data", etc are not ones I can entertain for long.

Thank you.

Stop wearing your ego on your short sleeves and stick to the discussion on hand.

Your request is denied and I will continue to quote you if necessary to counter any continued insensible points that you make.

No one here is your slave, so you don't get to make demands.

No data, and I included one from a renowned source, supports your individual and unproven and incorrect opinion that a non positive woman will get an HIV infection from an HIV positive man with 100% surety from a single sexual encounter. It's just plain wrong and silly.

http://www.catie.ca/en/pif/summer-2012/putting-number-it-risk-exposure-hiv

The level of stigma reeking off this thread is unbelievable!

Gasout:
Good evening members in the house. I purposely brought this topic to this section (family) cos I blive i'll have a mature responses and contributions.

I'll try to be brief as possible.
I met this lady 2014 but we started dating November last year. It took her a whole year for her to accept dating me.

But then, she told me that, there is something she will tell any man who desire to marry her bt, depend on the level of seriousness of the man.

Then, I took what she planned telling her hubby to be as nothing serious nt until d relationship began to wax stronger. After being in the relationship for a while, I discovered she posses virtually all d qualities I desire in a lady and wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with her.

I tried to make her tell me what she has in mind that she plan to tell her hubby to be, she refused. At this stage, our both parents re aware of our relationship and we planned to have our INTRO this June.

I proposed to her last week, she accepted and busted to tears. Initially, I thought it was a tears of joy, nt knowing it was something entirely different from my thought.

I took her home with different feelings within me since she couldn't stop crying. When we got to their house b4 she alighted, she hold my hands and told me me 'she's HIV positive'

I was startled for minutes. She said I should think about it if I still want the relationship.

I have make enquiries from Doctors if both of us can marry and He said yes Bt the am nt still convince. Please, Nairalanders, I need ur sincere advice on this issue...

Op, for a matter as serious and sensitive as this which affects one's life, health and well being you have delibrately chosen NOT to seek/ignore advice from experienced professionals (health personnel) and come to Nairaland (of all places) to receive advice?
If your story is true then I feel sorry for your fianceè and not for you.....she fell in love with the wrong guy.

Omo na wa o. At some point before the relationship got to proposal level she should have said something. Also before you ever had sex, condom or not, there is a risk that you had a right to decide if you wanted to take. I won't marry someone like that if na me sha.

abike12:
Omo na wa o. At some point before the relationship got to proposal level she should have said something. Also before you ever had sex, condom or not, there is a risk that you had a right to decide if you wanted to take. I won't marry someone like that if na me sha.

While I understand the fear of stigma, especially in Nigeria, the deception is the reason why I wouldn't marry such a person, not the affliction itself.

Onegai:
Meehnnnn. I shouted on your behalf o when reading this.

She should have told you. Since! This is not a secret to be kept this long. This is the equivalent of telling you she has a child, is barren or is a robot with Artificial Intelligence created by an Alien lifeform, few weeks to the wedding.

Seriously? Equivalent? YOu had to say this? You, ma'am, should keep your mouth shut for a looooong time!

nasha1:
That girl is evil, very evil.
there is nothing 4 u to contemplate other dan walking away. If u have a contagious terminal disease,u need 2 let the person u are in a sexual relationship with know immediately.It is not fair nd such a person can never be trusted.

frugal:


HIV is not a contagious terminal disease. Don't misinform people.

HIV is not even a terminal disease. Where do these Nigerians get their ideas from? You not only misinform people, you are also passing wrong judgement across.

onagoodday:

How Is he spreading ignorance

So what he said up there is right?

histemple:


If you don't know how to make your contributions without being rude, please don't quote me again. Thank you.

There is no nicer way of saying it I'm afraid.

Gasout:
Good evening members in the house. I purposely brought this topic to this section (family) cos I blive i'll have a mature responses and contributions.

I'll try to be brief as possible.
I met this lady 2014 but we started dating November last year. It took her a whole year for her to accept dating me.

But then, she told me that, there is something she will tell any man who desire to marry her bt, depend on the level of seriousness of the man.

Then, I took what she planned telling her hubby to be as nothing serious nt until d relationship began to wax stronger. After being in the relationship for a while, I discovered she posses virtually all d qualities I desire in a lady and wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with her.

I tried to make her tell me what she has in mind that she plan to tell her hubby to be, she refused. At this stage, our both parents re aware of our relationship and we planned to have our INTRO this June.

I proposed to her last week, she accepted and busted to tears. Initially, I thought it was a tears of joy, nt knowing it was something entirely different from my thought.

I took her home with different feelings within me since she couldn't stop crying. When we got to their house b4 she alighted, she hold my hands and told me me 'she's HIV positive'

I was startled for minutes. She said I should think about it if I still want the relationship.

I have make enquiries from Doctors if both of us can marry and He said yes Bt the am nt still convince. Please, Nairalanders, I need ur sincere advice on this issue...

If I were in your shoes, I do maintain good relationship with her but certainly not marriage.

Gasout:
Yes, we had sex just once and it was protected

Guy u get sense at all, run for ur life, did is death That we are talkng about, don't marry ur own funeral out of pity, she has warned u and u refuse to listen

histemple:
For those of you asking if he had unprotected s3x with her, he could have unprotected s3x without contracting the virus.
A man contracting the HIV from a lady is very slim except there are cracks. But a lady contracts it immediately a male carrier ejaculates in her, no matter the quantity of fluid.

Back to your concern OP. You may have to be sure that she isn't pulling your legs to watch your reaction. She may possibly be trying to gauge how you will tolerate or discriminate against disability.

PLEASE DO NOT MIS INFORM PEOPLE

HIV research has reached advanced stages and there drugs that now suppress the virus to an undetected level

OP PLEASE IGNORE ABOVE AND READ BELOW
1. U can go ahead with the relationship and have normal healthy children together.
2. U will have to make sure she adheres to her ART (Anti Retroviral Treatment) drugs. Ensure she takes them at the same and right time everyday
3. U can even have unprotected s3x with her without contacting HIV. BUT before you try this make sure she takes a test called VIRAL LOAD. If the result shows the level of her HIV is undetected then unprotected s3x is possible but not always advisable
4. Once in a while you may have to take pREP drugs. that Pre exposure drugs to ensure you do not contact the virus

Since you have been dating since 2014, I believe she is already on ART drugs and as such her viral load will be undetected. So you have absolutely nothing to worry about EXCEPT SHE STOPS TAKING HER DRUGS.

You can thank God I responded to this

My Guy, I currently work in an NGO that deals with HIV/AIDS. And am a pharmacist by profession.
The truth is that you can marry this girl and have kids free of the virus and yourself being negative. Rules of Engagement are:

1. She must be on her drugs for life and you will encourage her to be taking it.
2. Pls don't go about disclosing her status to other people. They will spread the news like wild fire and they will start discriminating her.
3. When you guys are ready to have a baby consult your physician.
4. When making love to her make sure she is properly wet.
5. Give God thanks.

Thanks for this sensible post

EgunMogaji:


Stop wearing your ego on your short sleeves and stick to the discussion on hand.

Your request is denied and I will continue to quote you if necessary to counter any continued insensible points that you make.

No one here is your slave, so you don't get to make demands.

No data, and I included one from a renowned source, supports your individual and unproven and incorrect opinion that a non positive woman will get an HIV infection from an HIV positive man with 100% surety from a single sexual encounter. It's just plain wrong and silly.

http://www.catie.ca/en/pif/summer-2012/putting-number-it-risk-exposure-hiv

Werehkpe:


PLEASE DO NOT MIS INFORM PEOPLE

HIV research has reached advanced stages and there drugs that now suppress the virus to an undetected level

OP PLEASE IGNORE ABOVE AND READ BELOW
1. U can go ahead with the relationship and have normal healthy children together.
2. U will have to make sure she adheres to her ART (Anti Retroviral Treatment) drugs. Ensure she takes them at the same and right time everyday
3. U can even have unprotected s3x with her without contacting HIV. BUT before you try this make sure she takes a test called VIRAL LOAD. If the result shows the level of her HIV is undetected then unprotected s3x is possible but not always advisable
4. Once in a while you may have to take pREP drugs. that Pre exposure drugs to ensure you do not contact the virus

Since you have been dating since 2014, I believe she is already on ART drugs and as such her viral load will be undetected. So you have absolutely nothing to worry about EXCEPT SHE STOPS TAKING HER DRUGS.

You can thank God I responded to this

Biko how will they make babies? Since he won't be having unprotected sex most of the time. And how will they make sure that their children will be negative.

Pardon my naivety and ignorance

Aptly put

keacy:
My Guy, I currently work in an NGO that deals with HIV/AIDS. And am a pharmacist by profession.
The truth is that you can marry this girl and have kids free of the virus and yourself being negative. Rules of Engagement are:

1. She must be on her drugs for life and you will encourage her to be taking it.
2. Pls don't go about disclosing her status to other people. They will spread the news like wild fire and they will start discriminating her.
3. When you guys are ready to have a baby consult your physician.
4. When making love to her make sure she is properly wet.
5. Give God thanks.

Gasout:
Yes! What's wrong with

Are you thinking of having children with this lady?

9jaRonin:


Op, for a matter as serious and sensitive as this which affects one's life, health and well being you have delibrately chosen to seek/ignore advice from experienced professionals (health personnel) and come to Nairaland (of all places) to receive advice?
If your story is true then I feel sorry for your fianceè and not you.....she fell in love with the wrong guy.

I'm also a medical practitioner and I can tell you that the guy was only advised from a professional point of view.
If any of them were in his shoes, I really think they would've walked away from the issue of marriage.

U sound like u love this lady so I will try and give u a good simple explanation of what lies ahead. It is completely ur choice to take a decision and be responsible for that:
Step one: Go for a HIV test.
Step two: if u are HIV positive that makes u concordant. See ur clinician for possible initiation into care or treatment of HIV(AntiRetroviral Therapy-ART).
Step three: if u are negative that leaves u discordant(till after three months).
The Gist: it is possible for a discordant couple to be married and make HIV free babies and also remain discordant. This is successful when an infected partner is adherent to her ARV drugs and treat opportunistic infections as soon as possible. What the ARVs does mainly is to reduce viral replication thereby reducing the viral load in the system and boasting immune system.
U may be meeting ur partner most times with some protection but upon decision to make babies, with support from ur health care provider u can meet her unprotected.

Guy relax. There are two sides to it. Have u had her tested to verify her claim as per her HIV status? If yes and she is truly positive. I beg don't fall for her deceit. She shouldn't have waited until after u had proposed before telling u her status if she truly loved u.on the other hand, she might just be testing u with this and want to see if u truly love her. I want u to request for a test before u go ahead with ur marriage plans. Good luck.

Gasout:
Yes, we had sex just once and it was protected

Actually you can go ahead and marry the girl. But u must be ready for lifelong condom use, except when you want to make babies. In that case, u will be commenced on pre-exposure prophylaxis(PrEP) and continue until one month after exposure.

Most of all dis hiv carriers r not truthful. Ask her all u need to know about her. Be careful she may be pretending just to win your love for marriage.

Raypawer:
Most Childish response so far, better grow up!

..Oga!!

i didn't want to exchange words with you
my response isn't childish, pls go back and check how many (LIKES ) for that response

..its for those who understand my message.
thank u

It may sound funny bt guy u kW God can do all tins, if u HV a genius love for her just go ahead believing God dat he will whatever he said he would do. Dnt give up God will see u 2ru if only u actual believe in God

The million dollar question every one didn't even bothered to ask. It's not easy but please put your heart aside and use you brains to think. You are in love and it will be very hard to think we'll but you have to for the sake of ur unborn kids

general1970:
How did she contracted the disease?

my brother this will be the test of wat true love is .being HIV positive is no longer a death sentence infact u can still have kids and raise of family. all she needs do is to be placed onART drugs wch try to reduce the viral load and boost her immunity while u r placed on pre exposure prophylaxis.... the choice is urs

histemple:
For those of you asking if he had unprotected s3x with her, he could have unprotected s3x without contracting the virus.
A man contracting the HIV from a lady is very slim except there are cracks. But a lady contracts it immediately a male carrier ejaculates in her, no matter the quantity of fluid.

Back to your concern OP. You may have to be sure that she isn't pulling your legs to watch your reaction. She may possibly be trying to gauge how you will tolerate or discriminate against disability.

If it's so difficult for men to contract HIV, then where did the women contract it from? Didn't infected women contract it from men who contracted it? Or did all the infected men have *cracks* on their p3nises? Just wondering

histemple:
For those of you asking if he had unprotected s3x with her, he could have unprotected s3x without contracting the virus.
A man contracting the HIV from a lady is very slim except there are cracks. But a lady contracts it immediately a male carrier ejaculates in her, no matter the quantity of fluid.

Back to your concern OP. You may have to be sure that she isn't pulling your legs to watch your reaction. She may possibly be trying to gauge how you will tolerate or discriminate against disability.

Always is a strong word there. Fine a lady carries a higher risk than a man does, cause of the large surface area of the female tract,, plus presence of immune modulator cells,, but the most important factor here for transmission is the viral load

Gasout:
Yes, we had sex just once and it was protected

If truly you had sex just once and it was protected while living in fear?secondly am not seeing the love between both of you as a genuine one,if she truly loves you that could have been the first thing she could have told you not last.
Thinking deeply my brother no man or woman can give you advice on what to do with your life except only yourself so whatever the outcome of your decision is i wish you good luck in life

eyinjuege:


Nice read.
But do remember that statistics differ in both developed and developing countries.

Got something for you too.

http://mobile.aidsmap.com/HIV-risk-levels-for-the-insertive-and-receptive-partner-in-different-types-of-sexual-intercourse/page/1443490

The probability for transmission for vaginal intercourse remains less than 1%. Thats my point. The probability of contracting HIV is very low. But still doesnt mean we should take the risk.

histemple:
For those of you asking if he had unprotected s3x with her, he could have unprotected s3x without contracting the virus.
A man contracting the HIV from a lady is very slim except there are cracks. But a lady contracts it immediately a male carrier ejaculates in her, no matter the quantity of fluid.

Back to your concern OP. You may have to be sure that she isn't pulling your legs to watch your reaction. She may possibly be trying to gauge how you will tolerate or discriminate against disability.

...And you think she can cry so heavily as she did even when pretending?