To make it simple, the risk is just too much for ME to take..

E go really hard abeg..

anonymousreport:
how come we have plenty of m carrying it. Oga HIV is not not respecte of gender.

Dude, that's why I said its an erroneous belief. I was trying to point that out to someone that thought otherwise

my guy!!!...like say u don dey craze baa!, beta arrest that gal now, what would yu ve done if mistakenly she infected you with the virus..

Oga use ur head oo...dis wan don pass love

ndisy:




He is very correct, men don't easily get infected through unprotected sex as with women. Except direct blood contact is present, which might be reason you have most of those you listed. There have been cases of couples with an infected wife and negative husband and they have lived for several years together. Please find out more.

Those are serodiscordant couples. I think you need to find out more about them, because its not only men that can be negative while the partner is positive. The first cases of people who didn't catch HIV while exposed was seen in female prostitutes who remained HIV negative despite their exposure. It was assumed they had a natural resistance to the virus. Because you find a few serodiscordant couples doesn't mean men don't easily get infected. That sort of thinking is what makes the virus spread more, and making people choose such risky lifestyles

eyinjuege:


Pls do not misinform people.

The HIV clinic is filled with both men and women, young and old. Boys n girls that are 18years, 20s inclusive, men and women in their 60s are also not left out.

The person you quoted is right about what he said. Don't counter what you have no knowledge about.

why do you want to risk your life for a woman.. pls move on...jare that is not love o but foolishness

Bro, if you love her, go ahead and marry her. I am a HIV counselor tester, we have couples that the man is HIV negative and the wife is HIV positive. They have two children now and both children are negative. They is nothing to be afraid of, rather, you should support and encourage her to take her drugs.

....just like you won't stay if you had earlier knowledge of this. Don't marry her. Love grows and love dies. Let this one die

mentorandfriend:
The person you quoted is right about what he said. Don't counter what you have no knowledge about.

Are you kidding me?

It would take you or the person years to know half of what I know about HIV, and this isn't me trying to be corky.

kaybills:
Common guys he wasn't spreading dangerous information. Men have slimmer chances than women,but that isn't enough reason for one not to use protective measures. I always tell guys,shield your balls as well from her so you don't come in contact with her secretions,cos you might have a crack or a little bruised spot which could expose one to risk being infected. Tuck in those balls if you don't know her cos the condom only covers the stick

eyinjuege:


Are you kidding me?

It would take you or the person years to know half of what I know about HIV , and this isn't me trying to be corky.

Funny human being.

fadjnr:


Oga what are you saying nao. The chances of a male contracting the virus during unprotected sex is equal to that of the female because there's definitely going to be exchange of body fluids

bro, the chances are never equal, ask your doctor if u have any. to further confirm to you that the chances are not equal, there are many cases where a lady and a guy had unprotected sex, went for test and while d lady is positive, the guy is confirmed negative but there are hardly cases involving unprotected sex where the guy is positive and the lady tested negative.

She told you because she love you. Just pray over it for direction.

[right][/right]

eyinjuege:


Pls do not misinform people.

The HIV clinic is filled with both men and women, young and old. Boys n girls that are 18years, 20s inclusive, men and women in their 60s are also not left out.

DrLuv:
[/quote][quote author=eyinjuege post=46704919]

Pls do not misinform people.

The HIV clinic is filled with both men and women, young and old. Boys n girls that are 18years, 20s inclusive, men and women in their 60s are also not left out.

you are right but not absolutely. a friend of mine had unprotected Sex with his HIV Infested girlfriend for almost a year without him contracting it, not until they both went for Hiv test recently while planning their intro. it was discovered lady was HIV positive with higher viral load but d guy was Hiv free.

histemple:
For those of you asking if he had unprotected s3x with her, he could have unprotected s3x without contracting the virus.
A man contracting the HIV from a lady is very slim except there are cracks. But a lady contracts it immediately a male carrier ejaculates in her, no matter the quantity of fluid.

Back to your concern OP. You may have to be sure that she isn't pulling your legs to watch your reaction. She may possibly be trying to gauge how you will tolerate or discriminate against disability.

Your post is very misleading and poses a danger to uninformed minds. What crack is bigger than the penile opening of the urethra? The vaginal fluid has a high load of the virus and yet u say a man can be bleeping and may not get it?
While it may be true, there are a thousand and one factors that may be responsible for it, one of which is the mans immune system. An infected man may deposit a viral laden sperm in a woman with good immune response and she may not develop the infection. Both parties may only develop the infection following repeated exposures, which compromises their immunity.
Abeg make una protect unasef, I don talk finish.

Hello bro,
you need to look at the positive aspect and also view the negative aspect of the issue.
make I tell u what u need to know..
Negative aspect in my view..

that lady is capable of killing u if she can hide that kind of secret.. See ur life is in danger if u don't know oo..

And also its not her fault for delaying that statement oo. She was scared that if she reveal such secret to any Niger guy.. Omo na so Dem go tear race oo.. Not really her fault..

if the doctor says u guys can go ahead I pray God will guide ur path.

Gasout:


Yea, exactly! Have only shared the issue with my pastor, though, with her consent.

He told me to pray about it if she's the choosen one for me. And he asked me this " can my faith carry it?"

get this book for her and ursef: The Unlimited Power of Faith - by David Oyedepo

mentorandfriend:
Funny human being.

.
The point is we don't need more people thinking its OK to engage in risky behaviour. The major source of transmission of the virus in Naija is from heterosexual intercourse, not woman on woman action. The risk is even higher in developing countries, and that has a lot to do with our risky behaviour towards sex.
Have you ever run an HIV clinic?
Anyways its nice for people to be aware, and to learn more about the virus, and how to protect themselves. Its actually sensible to be responsible for one's sexual health.

Na wah o, this girl get mind o

Afta intro u re tellin him HIV +, so d girl want d dude to spend his money buying HIV pills for d numba of yrs she will spend.

HIV nor be malaria o

Vickyydera:
Do you think she is worth ruining your life for?
I can't marry a HIV positive person,even if you like be an angel.
capisce!

if u become hiv+ before marraige will u remain single and celibate forever?

I don't know if your mother deh alive or dead. May God keep your family alive but Haa you need to buy big motor for her.

Her prayers no gree leave you.

quote author=Gasout post=46704436] Yes, we had sex just once and it was protected[/quote]

I know of a couples that have married. For 7 years now, the wife is positive while the husband is still negative. The wife is on drug and she follows the rules of the drug very well. And they have children. They have unprotected sex only when they want to have children.

I don't know if your mother deh alive or dead. May God keep your family alive but Haa you need to buy big motor for her.

Her prayers no gree leave you.

Na thanks giving come remain now

Ps on a more serious kite. It's nothing. As long as she is playing by the laid down rules. You are good to go with her.if you truly love her. Jut hold the hospital check ups like the way you will hold on to Jesus or Allah all the time.

[author=Gasout post=46704436] Yes, we had sex just once and it was protected[/quote]

Vickyydera:
Do you think she is worth ruining your life for?
I can't marry a HIV positive person,even if you like be an angel.
capisce!

[email] Ruining his life in what aspect/sense exactly? They point here's marriage, not some bf/gf relationship shii.

So? [/email]

U r. Confuse but to Tell the truth it doesn't matter Hiv patient live long have babies that r not infected. Awareness r being create for people to get married to them like the movie or soap opera called Shuga

@op

It's your decision to make. While not moving on in the relationship is not the best. Same as moving on. So I will advise u should do your research very well and involve God.

Also I found an article. See below
WHAT IS A “MIXED-STATUS” RELATIONSHIP?
A "mixed-status" relationship is a sexual relationship in which one partner is HIV-positive and the other is HIV-negative. This can involve a couple in a long-term relationship or a single encounter between two partners. You may also hear these terms to describe such relationships:
Serodiscordant
Discordant
Serodivergent
Magnetic
HIV-positive/negative
IS IT SAFE FOR MIXED-STATUS COUPLES TO HAVE SEX?
For mixed-status couples, the possibility of HIV infection is a constant reality. There is always a risk of transmitting HIV, but you can minimize it.
TIPS FOR THE HIV-NEGATIVE PARTNER
If you are the HIV-negative partner in a mixed-status relationship, here are steps you can take to reduce your chances of getting HIV:
Encourage your HIV-positive partner to get and stay on antiretroviral therapy (ART), and support your partner in taking all of his/her HIV medications at the right time. This “medication adherence” will lower your partner’s viral load, keep your partner healthy, and reduce the risk that HIV can be transmitted.
Use condoms consistently and correctly. When used correctly and consistently, condoms are highly effective in preventing HIV infection, as well as other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Both male and female condoms are available. For more information on condom use, see CDC’s HIV Basics: Prevention.
Choose less risky sexual behaviors. MouthAction is much less risky than anal or vaginal sex. Anal sex is the highest-risk sexual activity for HIV transmission. If you are HIV-negative, insertive anal sex (“topping”) is less risky for getting HIV than receptive anal sex (“bottoming”). Remember: HIV can be sexually transmitted via blood, semen (cum), pre-seminal fluid (pre-cum), rectal fluid, and vaginal fluid. Sexual activities that do not involve the potential exchange of these bodily fluids (e.g. touching) carry no risk for getting HIV. For information on ways to reduce the risk of getting HIV through sexual contact, see our page on Reducing Your Sexual Risk for HIV.
Talk to your doctor about pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP). PrEP is a way for people who don’t have HIV to prevent HIV infection by taking a pill every day. The pill contains two medicines that are also used to treat HIV. Along with other prevention methods like condoms, PrEP can offer good protection against HIV if taken every day. The CDC recommends PrEP be considered for people who are HIV-negative and at substantial risk for HIV infection. This includes HIV-negative individuals who are in an ongoing relationship with an HIV-positive partner, as well at others at high risk. For more information, see our page on PrEP.
Talk to your doctor right away (within 3 days) about post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) if you think you have had a possible exposure to HIV. An example of a possible exposure is if you had anal or vaginal sex with your HIV-positive partner without a condom, and you are not taking PrEP. Your chance of exposure to HIV is lower if your HIV-positive partner is taking ART consistently and correctly, especially if his/her viral load is undetectable. Starting PEP immediately and taking it daily for 4 weeks reduces your chance of getting HIV. For more information, see our page on PEP.
Get tested for HIV. You should get tested for HIV at least once a year so that you are sure about your HIV status and can take action to keep healthy. Talk to your doctor about whether you may also benefit from more frequent testing (e.g. every 3-6 months). Use the AIDS.gov HIV Testing and Care Services Locator to find a testing site near you, or use a home testing kit.
Get tested and treated for other STDs and encourage your partner to do the same. If either of you are sexually active outside the partnership, you should get tested at least once a year and talk to your provider about whether more frequent testing is of benefit. STDs can have long-term health consequences. They can also increase your chance of getting HIV. Find an STD testing site. Use the AIDS.gov HIV Testing and Care Services Locator to find a testing site near you.
TIPS FOR THE HIV-POSITIVE PARTNER
If you are the HIV-positive partner in a mixed-status relationship, here are steps you can take to reduce your risk of transmitting HIV to your partner:
Get and stay on antiretroviral therapy (ART). ART reduces the amount of virus in your blood and body fluids. ART can keep you healthy for many years, and greatly reduce your chance of transmitting HIV to your sexual partners if you take it consistently and correctly.
If you are taking ART, follow your health care provider’s advice. Visit your health care provider regularly and always take your medicine as directed.
Use condoms consistently and correctly. When used correctly and consistently, condoms are highly effective in preventing HIV infection, as well as other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Both male and female condoms are available. For more information on condom use, see CDC’s HIV Basics: Prevention.
Choose less risky sexual behaviors. MouthAction is much less risky than anal or vaginal sex. Anal sex is the highest-risk sexual activity for HIV transmission. During anal sex, it is less risky for you as the HIV-positive partner to be the receptive partner (“bottom”) than the insertive partner (“top”). Remember: HIV can be sexually transmitted via blood, semen (cum), pre-seminal fluid (pre-cum), rectal fluid, and vaginal fluid. Sexual activities that do not involve the potential exchange of these bodily fluids (e.g. touching) carry no risk for transmitting HIV. For information on ways to reduce the risk of transmitting HIV to your partner through sexual contact, see our page on Reducing Your Sexual Risk for HIV.
Talk to your partner about pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP), taking HIV medicines daily to prevent HIV infection. The CDC recommends PrEP be considered for people who are HIV-negative and at substantial risk for HIV infection. This includes HIV-negative individuals who are in an ongoing relationship with an HIV-positive partner, as well as others at high risk. For more information, see our page on PrEP.
Talk to your partner about post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) if you think your partner has had a possible exposure to HIV. An example of a possible exposure is if you had anal or vaginal sex without a condom or the condom breaks and your partner is not on PrEP. Your partner’s chance of exposure to HIV is lower if you are taking ART consistently and correctly, especially if your viral load is undetectable. Your partner should talk to his/her doctor right away (within 3 days) if they think they have had a possible exposure to HIV. Starting medicine immediately (known as post-exposure prophylaxis, or PEP) and taking it daily for 4 weeks reduces your partner’s chance of getting HIV. For more information, see our page on PEP.
Get tested and treated for STDs and encourage your partner to do the same. If either of you are sexually active outside the partnership, you should get tested at least once a year and talk to your provider about whether more frequent testing is of benefit. STDs can have long-term health consequences. They can also increase your risk of transmitting HIV to others. Use the AIDS.gov HIV Testing and Care Services Locator to find a testing site near you.
“I counsel my patients that the greatest gift an HIV-positive partner can give an HIV-negative partner is the gift of undetectability. The risk of transmitting HIV is decreased if one’s viral load is undetectable.”
-HIV Provider, Washington, DC
KEEP THE LINES OF COMMUNICATION OPEN
If you are part of a mixed-status couple, it is important that you and your partner communicate openly and often about safer sex practices and HIV prevention. Healthcare providers and local HIV/AIDS organizations can be important sources of information and support for you and your partner.
CDC’s Start Talking. Stop HIV. campaign has information and resources to help you start a conversation about safe sex and HIV.

Zedoo:
She has no right to drag you down this lane!
What kind of lady does that?
It means she wasn't even prepared to love anyone (doesn't even love you) hence "whoever" comes along and loves her with her status is the "right man". What kind of love testing is that? Under normal circumstances she would hav resisted sex frm you because there was a "slim" chance you could've gotten hiv. While its no big deal to marry a hiv positive woman, when she puts you on suspense this long only to tell you now, she is an untrustworthy person I am sorry to say....so if you say you no dey marry again now you go be bad person....when In reality it will be very easy for her to jst move on with her life and look for the next "husband that will accept her as she is ONLY after proposing".
You don't put the cart before the horse oga, for someone to bait you with this kind of thing and not even say it when your love was waxing stronger (in your own head o) means genuine feelings are not involved on her part. Two good years? Somebody with real feelings would have said something earlier because she too will feel bad to hurt you...but no not this one.... Oga my advice, leave that gurl, NOT because she is hiv positive but because she has no true feelings....

No matter how much doctors tell you the emotional trauma of this shocking knowledge will far outlast the physical fact that she has hiv. Think properly. People may say I am harsh in my judgement, but its just what I think. No need to beat around the bush.... Only God knows what else she is "waiting" to tell you on your wedding night or after 5years of marriage....

The truth is always harsh. Well said.

D O N' T M A R R Y HER.

nasha1:
That girl is evil, very evil.
there is nothing 4 u to contemplate other dan walking away. If u have a contagious terminal disease,u need 2 let the person u are in a sexual relationship with know immediately.It is not fair nd such a person can never be trusted.

D lady is a delibrate terrible player nd a devil, she took d guy to a point of no return, she worked on his love nd trust, for d lady to wait till he proposed i see it as delibrate wickedness. The guy should RUN

Gasout:
Good evening members in the house. I purposely brought this topic to this section (family) cos I blive i'll have a mature responses and contributions.

I'll try to be brief as possible.
I met this lady 2014 but we started dating November last year. It took her a whole year for her to accept dating me.

But then, she told me that, there is something she will tell any man who desire to marry her bt, depend on the level of seriousness of the man.

Then, I took what she planned telling her hubby to be as nothing serious nt until d relationship began to wax stronger. After being in the relationship for a while, I discovered she posses virtually all d qualities I desire in a lady and wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with her.

I tried to make her tell me what she has in mind that she plan to tell her hubby to be, she refused. At this stage, our both parents re aware of our relationship and we planned to have our INTRO this June.

I proposed to her last week, she accepted and busted to tears. Initially, I thought it was a tears of joy, nt knowing it was something entirely different from my thought.

I took her home with different feelings within me since she couldn't stop crying. When we got to their house b4 she alighted, she hold my hands and told me me 'she's HIV positive'

I was startled for minutes. She said I should think about it if I still want the relationship.

I have make enquiries from Doctors if both of us can marry and He said yes Bt the am nt still convince. Please, Nairalanders, I need ur sincere advice on this issue...

Dear I feel your delimna and pain. it was wrong of her to have kept d secret from you till now. but am guessing she was trying to keep the news from spreading if u or the men in her life don't love her. U knw how we generally discriminate those living with the virus. you have seen the obvious responses here. Ask her though why she kept it long .

I am suspecting that her status is also d reason she has only allowed you make love to her once.

like many of the wise advice here, I humbly ask that you go for more counselling. Ask her abt her medication. . support her even if u are not gong to marry her at d end.Sometimes these ppl live healthier and longer than some of us without the virus. I know there is information on how you or ur unborn children cant get d virus . seek help. love conquers all. Above all trust God. I wish u luck. will be praying for u and won't mind knowing the outcome of ur decision.

pls Nairalandrrs ppl living with HIV /AIDS are humans like you. STOP THE DESCRIMINATION AND STIGMATIZATION.

Gasout:
Yes, we had sex just once and it was protected

Gasout:
Yes, we had sex just once and it was protected

did u use ur tongue to clean her london gate?