I met her in church 2012, actually,her frnd was d one who caught my eyes @first, but I lost interest later. She n I became friends n soon became so fond of each other. On d 16th of May 2015,we decided to start dating officially. I got to find out that her level of IQ was kinda low, still, I never wanted no other cos I knew I could work on it. @first,she was catching up fast....even to d extent that I began to see myself in her. Strict,I was but.....I usually ask if I was too hard on her but.....her replies were always dsame (No). Mostimes,I feel m too harsh but she never complained..dis made my love for her grow so much faster. In April 2016,I bought a ring n I asked her to marry me. I saw tears in her eyes, I suddenly noticed I was in tears too. She didn't utter a word,she stormed out of my apartment Nd next tin she told me was dat she needs to pray abt it. I was a bit relieved until one day 16th May 2016(exactly one year later) she gave me d shock of my life.(guess she's bin planning it)......she said Iv always treated her like she was a nobody,I dnt respect her,I don't love her,I don't value n appreciate her. She said I only wanted to engage her cos I felt my ppl liked her dat I don't love her. She said,She'll find someone who will love,cherish,value n take her for who she is. All diz was over d fone. As I write,we avnt seen in 2 months n she warned that if I call,she wouldn't pick n dats exactly what she's been doing. Good ppl,what should I do? I cry everyday, hope I won't wound myself coupled with d fact that I live alone.. Plz help me. Did same girl dat I cld gv my life to actually sent a msg to me dat ppl dnt value wat dey av until its gone. I still never saw what I did to warrant such treatment... WHAT DO I DO TO MAKE HER COME BACK

Dude, it's time to drop that ring and move on...
Two months and counting, she wouldn't even talk to you.

Hmmm, I can't say I blame her. Her IQ may be low, according to you, but it sounds like she has an EQ of a genius because no offence, parts of your post do sound a little condescending eg. "She was catching up fast". I'm not saying that you put her down in her presence but she probably picked/sensed that you thought she was below par & not on your level intellectually. Maybe you acted out your thoughts subconsciously, IDK. Or maybe during the relationship some things were said, which she forgave but didn't forget (creating resentment in her), which made her realize you were only Mr Right Now rather than Mr Right. Shrugs.

If she thinks/feels she has a perfect match in someone else out there, then I suggest you let her be.

Op, no time . Just move on since she's made up her mind to look for someone better than you. In other words, 'she's done with you'.

BrideOfDracula:
Hmmm, I can't say I blame her. Her IQ may be low, according to you, but it sounds like she has an EQ of a genius because no offence, parts of your post do sound a little condescending eg. "She was catching up fast". I'm not saying that you put her down in her presence but she probably picked/sensed that you thought she was below par & not on your level intellectually. Maybe you acted out your thoughts subconsciously, IDK. Or maybe during the relationship some things were said, which she forgave but didn't forget (creating resentment in her), which made her realize you were only Mr Right Now rather than Mr Right. Shrugs.

If she thinks/feels she has a perfect match in someone else out there, then I suggest you let her be.

BrideOfDracula:
Hmmm, I can't say I blame her. Her IQ may be low, according to you, but it sounds like she has an EQ of a genius because no offence, parts of your post do sound a little condescending eg. "She was catching up fast". I'm not saying that you put her down in her presence but she probably picked/sensed that you thought she was below par & not on your level intellectually. Maybe you acted out your thoughts subconsciously, IDK. Or maybe during the relationship some things were said, which she forgave but didn't forget (creating resentment in her), which made her realize you were only Mr Right Now rather than Mr Right. Shrugs.
If she thinks/feels she has a perfect match in someone else out there, then I suggest you let her be.

yea,I guess I must av hurt her n she never forgave. U won't believe I kip dreaming n I saw her cm back..dnt js knw where pick up

According to the sixteenth commandment of poon, You must Never be afraid to lose her

"You must not fear. Fear is the love-killer. Fear is the ego-triumph that brings abject loneliness. You will face your fear. You will permit it to pass over and through you. And when your ego-fear is gone you will turn and face your lover, and only your heart will remain. You will walk away from her when she has violated your integrity, and you will let her walk when her heart is closed to you. She who can destroy you, controls you. Don’t give her that power over yourself. Love yourself before you love her."

please go in and vote for refiner
www.nairaland.com/3176659/miss-nairaland-contest-2016-elimination

Elowinner:
yea,I guess I must av hurt her n she never forgave. U won't believe I kip dreaming n I saw her cm back..dnt js knw where pick up

Who knows? Maybe she will come back or maybe she won't. Some guys tend to not appreciate what they have until it's too late. You could try having a talk with her. Ask her where you went wrong & try to make amends if you believe she's too good to let go. It could be that all she needs is a little more effort from you. IDK. Good luck.

sorry Op. You have to options, move on with your life or do everything doable to get her back.

Why not talk to her friends to help you. Better still, she knows your people according to you so why not talk to a senior member of your family to help you out. If she is a mannered girl, she wont ignore a call from your mum or elder sister. wish you all the best.

If you truly are so crazy in love gee, you have to do preettyy crayzie things to claim her back... You gotta intimidate your esteemed self and let her feel how worthless you could get cos of her. Let her feel like a god! ... If you can't, guy, let her go!

personally, i think her real boyfriend or husband to be, came back,and she is trying to play a guilt card so you can blame yourself the rest of your life, just confront her with this info, and see whatsup,,,,another thing is, since you found out that her IQ was very low, why are you still trying to be with her at all cost, don't you know that if really you think that her IQ is low,there is no way she will ever change, the IQ thing will always show up unexpected,maybe before kids or after kids,and it could lead to dropping her behinde and attending special occassions with a better chic, think on thaat

Dude be a MAN!!!




Grow some BALLS!!!




.....and walk away......

Wts wrong with guys sef.....she giving u attitude and u here howling......#pissedmuch

cbliss:
Dude be a MAN!!!




Grow some BALLS!!!




.....and walk away.....



Wts wrong with guys sef.....she giving u attitude and u here howling......#pissedmuch

bro.....it takes time to build a relationship, u dnt js walk away like that. I ve kinda invested all my time,money,emotions n what have u. Is not that easy

marriage is a lifetime stuff, that's makes it scary... she love's you but no one wants to be treated bad in the future. as long she's not seeing anyone else, keep trying to prove your love worth her. for those people always shouting move on, move ...is like they have not experienced true love.

Bros, attraction cannot be negotiated. Ive seen this play out far too many times to not fall for the lame crap about trying to talk sense into her head as is being suggested by some cringe inducing posts above. This will only lead to more tears by the time you see her looking lustfully at your friends/relatives whom you know are by far below your social and economic status.

Even if she decides to return after so much prodding by you, she'll just end up overcompesating, a diluted form of the genuine desire you once knew, leading to mental torture for you and her and then another painful breakup, loneliness and dry spell.

You really need to move on but try to always keep two or more in the kitty. A MAN WITH OPTIONS IS A MAN WITHOUT NEEDS. Women by nature love tension and drama and if you don't give her one, she'll create one for herself and you are once again a dead duck.

You may not agree with this but there are many beautiful women out there that you can still fall in love with and I guarantee you that the moment you go out well dressed, nicely perfumed and start approaching, you'll be drowning in more love than you ever imagined was possible.

But have it at the back of your mind that woman's love is conditional and opportunistic. In other words, it is based on how she feels, vis-a-vis competion, jealousy and the good feelings you are able to bring to her. She is not capable of loving you unconditionally in the manner you imagine is possible. That kind of love is only reserved for her kids and this is activated by maternal instincts.

Curvinus:
Bros, attraction cannot be negotiated. Ive seen this play out far too many times to not fall for the lame crap about trying to talk sense into her head as is being suggested by some cringe inducing posts above. This will only lead to more tears by the time you see her looking lustfully at your friends/relatives whom you know are by far below your social and economic status.

Even if she decides to return after so much prodding by you, she'll just end up overcompesating, a diluted form of the genuine desire you once knew, leading to mental torture for you and her and then another painful breakup, loneliness and dry spell.

You really need to move on but try to always keep two or more in the kitty. A MAN WITH OPTIONS IS A MAN WITHOUT NEEDS. Women by nature love tension and drama and if you don't give her one, she'll create one for herself and you are once again a dead duck.

You may not agree with this but there are many beautiful women out there that you can still fall in love with and I guarantee you that the moment you go out well dressed, nicely perfumed and start approaching, you'll be drowning in more love than you ever imagined was possible.

But have it at the back of your mind that woman's love is conditional and opportunistic. In other words, it is based on how she feels, vis-a-vis competion, jealousy and the good feelings you are able to bring to her. She is not capable of loving you unconditionally in the manner you imagine is possible. That kind of love is only reserved for her kids and this is activated by maternal instincts.

Thank you sir. So far, this is d best motivative talk I've heard. I guess you are a counsellor n if ure not, u shld think abt bcming one. Thank you sir.

BrideOfDracula:


Who knows? Maybe she will come back or maybe she won't. Some guys tend to not appreciate what they have until it's too late. You could try having a talk with her. Ask her where you went wrong & try to make amends if you believe she's too good to let go. It could be that all she needs is a little more effort from you. IDK. Good luck.

I actually did ask but u won't believe she said "I thought u were more experienced,u shld av figured it out" as if I am a magician. To crown it all,Shes not ready for dialogue.... Wat more can I do?

Elowinner:

I actually did ask but u won't believe she said "I thought u were more experienced,u shld av figured it out" as if I am a magician. To crown it all,Shes not re

ady for dialogue.... Wat more can I do?

Yeah. Maybe she needs more time to calm down.

Op forget about her.There is no lady that is irreplaceable.

Jorussia:
Op forget about her.There is no lady that is irreplaceable.

Think of the fact that I av bin so used to her. M always finding it difficult to let go.....js like when I lost my mom

BrideOfDracula:


Yeah. Maybe she needs more time to calm down.

Yeah.....I guess
I even hate the process of having to. Meet,bcm frndz......before d dating stage. Its too long

Walk away. You just want what you can't have. Even if you did date her, you would eventually lose interest and move on. Don't waste her time.

Elowinner:

Yeah.....I guess
I even hate the process of having to. Meet,bcm frndz......before d dating stage. Its too long

LOL. You'll be alright.

Elowinner:


Think of the fact that I av bin so used to her. M always finding it difficult to let go.....js like when I lost my mom

bros i hv been in your shoes before. I nv thought that i would be able to exist more than an hour without her,but its four years now and i have moved on.I repeat no lady is irreplaceable.

Elowinner:



Thank you sir. So far, this is d best motivative talk I've heard. I guess you are a counsellor n if ure not, u shld think abt bcming one. Thank you sir.

Acknowleged and as you navigate further into the emotional minefields of relationships, try not to repeat the mistakes you made previously. Never invest too much time energy or resources on a woman you are not married to. These are the biggest love killers as you are demonstrating the woman has higher sexual market value than you and we all know women like to date up because of their hypergamous nature, aka the need to upgrade and preserve the best genetics.

To you, being nice to her could be considered as making sacrifices but in her eyes, it is weakness and women have a dogs instinct at sniffing out weaknesses. This is why they friendzone nice guys. They think you are weak and can't protect them. Yes, we all know this is a big fallacy but what really does it matter. It doesn't change the fact this is how she feels. It is factory fitted.


So, do what works and not what feels right.

Welcome bck or or love swap

Adasun:
op it's simple.
Just do welcome back

Ah guess u always had it coming buh mayb jst did'nt notice d lil signs dt wia showing b4 she left,truth x dt u wia nva fully satisfied wiv her n wanted more dan she cld offer,nigga move on cos she ain't cmin bk...

Take heart. God is in control