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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now (90927 Views)
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Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by Jethrolite(m): 12:16pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
DevGuru follow what GoldenJAT said to the letter before you end up dead. You have no marriage. Before anything make sure you get those audio recordings and tears of blood will not make you change your opinion. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by Nobody: 12:16pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
TV01:Of course, na so e go be. Forget them, they simply can't show face. Hopefully they are all getting, or have had the same stern warnings from their husbands - the ones that have of course .
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Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by baeboo: 12:17pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
@Op something triggerred your wife to act this way. what did you do to her? abi you dey patronise Edible Catering? How can a good woman turn to a jezebel overnight? Tell us the part you played biko. Am not in support of her actions ooo. But bia ooo esi no kporo gi Half man nwanyi bu Adanjor enjoy ya sef baeboo 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by Nobody: 12:21pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
Double |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by BoboFashion(m): 12:25pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
LuveU2: Done, how is ur day moving? |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by trishapal(f): 1:11pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
baeboo: People like baeboo won't stop re-iterating it that common sense is not common. If ur message was for the op (who claimed to be a Yoruba man), why talk to him in a strange language. besides, I'm sure you've never read the story. SMH On another note, mods should take this to FP: ![]() ![]() 4 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by drss(m): 1:16pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
bellong:@DevGuru follow dis ^^^ advice. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by baeboo: 2:28pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
trishapal:
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Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by Donemmy(m): 2:46pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
GoldenJAT:U spoke my mind Broda, @op ur wife is a good woman bt she is bn seriously brain washed & left wit no option than to play d script. keep ur evidence tight. Make sure ur wife is not aware of the evidence in ur possession. Quickly call a family meeting & make sure the sisters in questions r in attendence. Play cool without resentment to avoid suspcision frm ur wife. Trick them d meeting is to enable u appreciate their intervention. On d meeting day, pls comport urself, welcome everybody & thereafter play d evidence to d hearing of everybody & watch out for their reactions. |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by Nobody: 3:05pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
So she installed a software and recorded her own calls? ?? Makes no sense. I think you are not telling the whole story @ OP. Looks like you (as per techie ) installed the app in her phone to monitor her calls without her knowledge. Makes me wonder what you are really about! ! 11 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by Nobody: 3:16pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
Mehn this marriage thing is not for me like there are crazy women everywhere 8 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by Tochex101(m): 3:19pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
bakynes: Option 2 is screaming "choose me". I won't let them off the hook that easy. |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by Nobody: 3:27pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
Ujoan: People do install call recorder on their phones probably to listen to calls again or whatsoever reason. I do av a call recorder on phone. Anybody that can locate my source files will surely get to listen to my recorded conversation.. So in reality, his story in that aspect conforms with the norms. 7 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by crackhaus: 4:04pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
baeboo:Maybe she was never really a good woman you know? How can we be sure she did not even tell her sisters about the thing with his testicles right when it happened... 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by crackhaus: 4:13pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
Manipulative women who don't even recognize when they're being dishonest are a ticking time bomb, you don't keep one too close. I dont know about you OP, but my kind of personality seems to be different going by majority of the comments here. First off, what are you even doing here seeking for advise? The moment you found that recording was the moment your marriage ended, no need to mince words - anything you're doing now is just you hanging on to the strings of an already broken union. If it were me, everybody will hear those recordings...and by everybody, I mean EVERYBODY in both families that cares enough to make it their business. Im sorry, but to me I believe you've lost your wife...I dont even know how you're able to still live with and look at her after this - this is far worse than infidelity. 17 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by GoldenJAT(m): 4:14pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
Donemmy:it pains me that some1 who claims 2 love you, can go 2 such length 2mk u so emotionally wretched ....its really painful... still waiting for the Man in question 2 give us feedback 4 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by trishapal(f): 4:41pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
I'm praying that she hasn't poisoned him... GoldenJAT: |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by ranktzy(m): 4:44pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
bellong:Why will a woman turn on her husband who respects & treats her well, just because of what her sisters told her, to the extent of exposing his private health challenge & tarnishing his image before his family. She's not a teenager for goodness sake. For her to act like this simply shows the kind of heart(dark) she has. Unless she's been charmed, else there's nothing else to say concerning this matter. This is enough to break a man. Deceptive & dangerous. I can't stay in the same house with this woman, i won't feel safe anymore. 6 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by cococandy(f): 4:50pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
fem29:It's like a horror story. Goosebumps. What on earth does she hope to gain by behaving that way? |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by pamcode(m): 5:00pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
sumborri:So the lady still never forgive you. Thank God you never marry,marital home would have been hell. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by cococandy(f): 5:01pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
@bold, that's what I thought too. The sisters didn't come out of thin air to advice her to set her husband up like that. She must have told them he did this or that to her before they started advising her on how to ruin him. Maybe there might even be another dude on the line and she's looking for a way to totally disparage this one so she can feel free to leave him and go meet the new guy without the families labeling her bad. Lol. I hope I'm not adding fuel to the fire but I can't imagine what prompted her actions. I don't blame her sisters. I blame her. She opened the door to let them into her marriage. I keep saying relatives should keep their distance from people's marriages and only offer opinions when asked. We are just too nosy in this our country. Always finding out ways to poke noses into other people's affairs. Look at the result. andromida: 1 Like |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by baeboo: 5:12pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
crackhaus:A woman cannot start acting abnormal all of a sudden. something is wrong somewhere biko. The man might have done something,that made her to change 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by Nobody: 5:19pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
baeboo: I agree. There must be an issue that she must have brought up many times which he may have brushed aside. I am in no way condoning actions though. Just horrible. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by Nobody: 5:26pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
baeboo: I swear, me sef have been thinking this thing since morning. Is the man is the cause. Any evil woman was made so by the husband. Abi no be so? 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by GoldenJAT(m): 5:29pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
trishapal:its a possibility... but God ain't sleeping.. he saw those records for a reason..some women are wicked!!! don't know y.. but i so have this urge 2 talk with the man;. |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by mysticgal(f): 5:38pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
DevGuru I think it will be appropriate to address people here waiting for you, at least you come online, why not allay people's fear for you? Tell us the recent developments and so on. Inu 1 Like |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by baeboo: 5:51pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
fem29:maybe the man was cheating |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by toksbisola: 5:53pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
@OP; BE VERY VERY VERY CAREFUL. MY FIRST ADVICE TO YOU WOULD BE TO GO AND DO A DNA TEST IMMEDIATELY AND BE SURE THAT YOU ARE THE BIOLOGICAL FATHER OF YOUR DAUGHTER. This situation is not one to keep under wraps as your reputation has been badly tarnished by the one person that you love dearly and who knows, your life might probably even be in danger. Take this; You As an IT tech person; no one needs to tell you that you need all the recordings as evidence hence; 1) LISTEN TO ALL THE RECORDINGS; 2) KEEP 1,2,3,4 (ETC) COPIES OF ALL THE RECORDINGS IN CASE THE FIRST ONE GETS DAMAGED, YOU STILL HAVE SOME MORE SAVED ELSE WHERE; AND 3) TAKE NOTE OF EVERYONE INVOLVED IN THESE CONVERSATIONS AND BE SURE THAT EVERY ONE OF THEM IS AWARE THAT YOU KNOW WHAT HAS BEEN HAPPENING. THIS WOULD BE AFTER YOU HAVE HAD THE MEETING WITH YOUR FATHER AND FIL AS STATED BELOW. Your Dad You need to inform your father ASAP of this development and play back all the recorded conversations to him. He will guide you with wisdom on how to proceed. It’s not as if you don’t know how or what to do but you are seeking an elders wisdom. Your Mum For now don’t involve her in this development as she will find it too distressing to handle. She currently is very fragile hearing the accusation of beating your wife. SHE IS BROKEN so wait a moment before you get her involved. But she must be told but not at this stage. Your Father-in-law After you have had the meeting with your father, you need to arrange a meeting as follows, You, your Father and your FIL and then play all the recorded conversations to your FIL with your Father present. You are in theory seeking another elders’ wisdom. Be patient, and let your Father and your FIL give enlightenment on this matter. Your Mother-in-law You don’t need to inform her at this moment in time but she would also need to be informed after you see how things plan out after the meeting with your Father and FIL. You Sister-in-laws (Or any other person involved in the recorded conversations) What you would do regarding them would be determined after you have had your meeting with your Father and your FIL as things would progress from there after that meeting. In the case of your SILs, their husbands would need to be aware of the kind of wives they are married to and alert them to tell their wives to mind their own business and not meddle into someone else’s marital matters even if it is their family member. Your wife Thread carefully around her for now and don’t make her suspicious that you know what her game plan is and what she has been up to. Play the James Bond 007 and I Spy with her for now until you have had that URGENT MEETING WITH YOUR FATHER AND FIL. She is someone who doesn’t have a mind of her own. As she is the last born, it makes it even worst (No disrespect to any last born) as she seems to seek other people’s opinions before she decides on what to do and that's very dangerous if you ask me. Moving forward, whatever it is that you think you did to make your wife change overnight from a good person to what she has turned herself into needs to be checked. If you had done something that has probably upset her so bad that she is now taking her revenge (as that is what I see this as), that needs to be addressed urgently. Ask yourself these questions; 1) Do you still want to be with your wife after discovering this heart breaking development? 2) Can you love and trust her again after this betrayal? 3) After suggestions have been provided, would you be willing to put the past behind you and move ahead with your wife for the future? 4) If she apologised and is sorry for her actions, would you be able to accept and give your marriage another try without fear/frustration? If your wife is currently not working or running a business, then that needs to change as she has a lot of time on her hands which she is currently not using WISELY hence, the gossiping and idleness which has now turned into a toxic predicament. Finally dude, a number of suggestions have been provided to you here; but the decision to stay or leave is entirely your call. Therefore, be sure to make that decision wisely. All the best. I rest my case 8 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by Nobody: 6:07pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
pharmagba: Best advice. Spot on. |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by succourplanet: 6:50pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
This is serious. |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by Nobody: 7:30pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
How sad! Please OP, I don't even know how safe you are now in your home, maybe the next plan will be to poison you. Please summon a family meeting with your extended family and hers. It is the heart of betrayal! Smh 1 Like |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by DevGuru: 7:30pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
UPDATE I sincerely appreciate the fact that almost everyone here regards this matter a very serious one, this alone warms my heart a little. I have read through every single comment on this thread and I appreciate everyone. I couldn't take down the names of those whose comments aligned with my aim of keeping my marriage, but I thank everyone all the same. I realised from a myriad of comments that informing my people will mean a beginning of the end for my marriage. My daughter too is a major consideration. Above all, she's carrying another 6 week pregnancy. I have therefore decided to eliminate (or maybe suspend as the case turns out) informing any of my family members. I decided to play the records to her while I added some words. I started by telling her that my love for her made me decide to talk to her and not to anyone who would possibly fuel separation in my home like her sisters have done. She was shocked because she had never heard any allegation from me towards her elder ones before. She thought I was crazy and I wanted to bring up what was not. Then I played a little while I summarised the wildest words from her sisters which I heard in other discussion. For the FIRST time, my wife couldn't deny ANYTHING as she was convinced beyond doubt that she had been finished. She cried bitterly as I talked further but did not know what to do. But what pained me further was that it was obvious she cried because she saw that I was going to turn to an emperor and ridicule and justifiably disgrace her elderly advisers, NOT really because I was betrayed. Right there, I was looking for a particular one to play and then even heard what I didn't hear before. Her eldest sister said she had discussed with some other siblings to intensify efforts towards her job search that as soon as she gets a job, she would have to be sending money home for them to create something for her in their town so she could come settle. She cried further as she heard it too. I told her the implications of what she had done to me with her people and then left her in the room because my baby girl was disturbing me. Anytime our voices are not friendly, she interrupts and cries for attention. I took my daughter to the living room and was playing with her. After about 1 hour, she came to the living room and fell down before me as she cried further, saying "I'm sorry". Then I asked her to state exactly what she was begging me for - her betrayal or her siblings' offence. She knows me very well, she quickly said her betrayal (even though I knew that wasn't the primary cause of her heavy heart). Then I told her I was willing to forgive her in the spirit of upholding my marital vows to her. I explained further that for the sake of our daughter and the unborn one(s), I was willing to forgive her and build a stronger home with her. She felt a little relief knowing that she was getting back into me. I then said "but from this minute, I'm in a ruthless war with anyone, I repeat, ANYONE who is determined to break my home as I now have to guard our togetherness jealously". I stated further that the only thing I would hold against her was if she ever stood in my way. Just as if a thunder just struck and killed someone dear to her, she cried loudly again saying "she had finished her life". She said she would be the one to suffer in the war I just declared and that I should just allow her to call all of them and tell them never to meddle into our affairs again. I refused to fall for that trick and held my stance that my resolve was not going to change and I walked away. Since then till this moment, she has been like a mourning widow. When it was time for food, we ate together as usual and I've been the one trying to talk now. She hasn't spoken with anyone on phone since then, although I don't know about Whatsapp or BBM chat. Now she's waiting for the next available opportunity when she could plead for her sisters again... only God knows for how long the waiting would be. Let me quickly mention that she sent me an SMS from the bedroom a while ago: I CAN SEE THE HANDWORK OF THE DEVIL IN THIS WHOLE MATTER, PLS LET'S TRY TO RESIST THE DEVIL THIS TIME SO HE CAN FLEE FROM OUR HOME. I BEG YOU IN THE NAME OF GOD DEAR".... I simply replied from the living room: "ON THE CONTRARY HONEY, I CAN SEE THE HAND OF GOD. CAN'T YOU SEE IT?" On another note, I do not want to assume that she will not tell her sisters, although it might take a while because she knew they would rebuke her for delivering them into the hands of their 'enemy' through Call Recorder. But before she informs them, I think I'd follow someone's advice here too that I should reveal it to someone who could keep it away from my mum and sisters, which is surely my Dad - just to put someone in the know, in case I begin to smell rat poison in my food... lol. What do you think? Cc: ezechueze, Mafking, AccidentalGenius, RadicallyBlunt, ojun50, GoldenJAT, olempe, LuveU2, goldbim, phabulous88, pharmagba, 2goodbobo, PezzoNovante, marvelous000, Tritri, IRserveMyComent, AlienStar, STENON, krak101, AccidentalGenius, danduchi, samsam2019, uchedydy, Ruemufaith, sashishalom, ednut1, bakynes, sumborr, general111, byvan03, obiak4, Eketem, obiak4, emekachimek, elektra, priceaction, segzy0i, MizzD, richyfunky, bellong, nnamdibig, Timbuktou, TheArchangel, tearoses, andromida, HaneefahRN, TV01, Amelian, WellEndowed, Jethrolite, baeboo, trishapal, drss, Donemmy, Ujoan, pcguru1, Tochex101, pastorpussy, crackhaus, ranktzy, cococandy, mysticgal, toksbisola, Okikiki, succourplanet, Darla, ummeey, kaboninc, BiggyB242, Ishilove 31 Likes 4 Shares |
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