Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by mac04: 7:54pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
[quote author=DevGuru post=47211430]NOTICE: Please, my story is still very long despite that I tried very hard to remove some unnecessary portions. But if you can be patient to read it to the end, then you are ready to give a mature opinion.
I am a Yoruba guy married to another Yoruba lady who happened to be the last of seven children. We met at the University and had a long courtship before we got married in 2014. I loved her so much and I believe she loved me too. We were each other's best friends. Shortly before we began to plan the wedding, on one faithful afternoon, I was watching the TV in my living room when I began to feel a slight pain in my lower abdomen. It got more intense within few hours and I had to go to a nearby hospital and by that time, the pain was inside my scrotum. The young doctor there didn't understand what was wrong and started injecting me with pain killers. I was kept there till midnight. The next morning, I noticed that one of my testicle was swelling up. I hen went to a teaching hospital where Orchitis was first diagnosed. After a week of antibiotics with no improvement, a consultant examined me and said it was torsion which should have been surgically corrected within few hours from the onset of the pain. As at that time, the testicle was dead. I had to go for surgery to have the dead one removed. My wife (then my fiancé) was with me in the hospital. She assured me that everything would be fine and that we could have as many kids as we wanted with just one left. I loved her the more.
Now we have a very beautiful daughter who obviously has my genes and delights everyone around her with her alluring beauty. We nearly lost her to a strange illness some months back but for God who used my mum to restore our daughter. That's another long story but not for this thread. My mum loves my family so much that even my wife knows that she can lay down her life for us to be fine. Since we got married, my wife hasn't worked owing partly to our daughter's health which is now very perfect. It's not been easy for me working day and night to feed the family and paying bills in a 3-bedroom apartment in Lagos but God has been helping us. My wife was so much loved in my family that people around thought she was my mum's daughter. Very hardworking and homely.
A little into her own family setup too... She has 4 female and 2 male siblings. All her siblings are married but very close to the parents. Because my wife and I were very close, I was aware of most of the happenings in their family, but I never even gave any thought to them on how they might affect my own marriage.... long story...
Last month, I repeatedly got home late due to an official event which I told my wife and I was talking to her on phone. One morning, she gave me a wild look and warned me never to come late again. I quickly noticed the strangeness in her actions and I comported myself by saying "I'm sorry, it won't happen again". We ate together and I left for work. I returned much earlier and was with her and my daughter for a couple of hours before went to bed after I told her I had a meeting the next morning.
When I woke up, I checked the time and realised I was running late. I greeted her and rushed out of the bed only for her to jump up too and say "We need to talk". Go on, I replied... Then she claimed she observed that I've been cold towards her since she tried to correct me the previous day. I denied it but she insisted, so I told her I would adjust and that I had nothing against her. She suddenly jumped at me and said I was going nowhere. I was very surprised as I asked her what was wrong with her. I begged her to let me go and if we had to discuss anything further, it could be later in the day after work. She grew wilder and began to abuse me verbally. I drew her out of my way so I could go have my bath and she grabbed my singlet and tore it down. I was shocked! I then grabbed her two hands and pushed her to sit on the bed. She just jumped up and said "this is what I've been waiting for". She rushed to her phone and called my dad. Immediately my dad answered the call, she suddenly began to cry saying "your son has been beating me since we woke up today"... It was like I was watching a nollywood movie. I looked like a poor citizen who had no money to eat but just got an allegation that EFCC had traced N1.4b to his account. My Dad called me immediately and ordered me to leave the house first before anything. Immediately, she called my mum too and said the same thing. My mum called me and began to cry that she never expected I would disgrace the family in such manner. I was sad and even had to shout at her cos she wouldn't let me say anything on phone. She didn't even give me time to explain what happened. My wife immediately called her eldest sister too and said the same thing. The sister called me and asked for what happened. I explained to her and she advised me never to raise my hand against her again, while she stylishly insulted me, but I disregarded that. I felt like Pastor Ken in the movie, 'The Price' who had to pay for what he did not do.
I had already missed my meeting but I had to go to work. That was the most horrible day for me at work because I couldn't even use my brain to do anything. I felt cheated and sincerely felt like doing what I had already suffered for. Then I felt the urge to use a bit of my power... I transferred some money to her account and then forwarded an SMS to her giving her 24hours to make up her mind on where she would love to go, either my family home or hers because I needed a break. Fee minutes later, her eldest sister called me to say my wife forwarded my SMS to her and that she was highly disappointed in me upon what she told me in the morning. I told her that I got more infuriated and betrayed seeing my wife ruin my reputation like that. She advised again and told me to go home and hug my wife. When I got home, my wife knelt down at the door and began to apologize that it was the devil. At that time, my elder sister called me and I narrated everything to her while my wife listened to me. The next morning, my wife continued to beg me. I saw the remorse and hugged her. We became happy again. The next day, I called her sister to thank her for her intervention.
My Dad came a few days later to confirm that we had settled everything. Unfortunately, I wasn't around when he arrived, so he called me on phone and I told him I would be around in about 1 hour. Before my arrival, she spoke at length with my Dad but begged him not to allow us revisit the issue on my arrival so as not to raise dusts again. On my arrival, my Dad just advised me and said he was glad we had already settled it. Since then, I've tried to get my home together again. I started leaving my office earlier than usual even when I had unfinished tasks.
This morning, I was flipping through the apps on my wife's phone and saw Call Recorder. I opened it but discovered it had a password. As a techie, I traced the file that stores all the voice calls and began to play one of my wife's recent conversations. It was with her eldest sister who intervened into our matter then. I nearly fainted!!! The sister hailed her for acting as planned and they both laughed with satisfaction. My wife said she was happy that she successfully ruined my image in my family and they both laughed again. They said they were happy that my mum who always thought she had raised good children was made to realize that I was a beast who beats his wife and so on. But the most infuriating part was when her sister said she wanted to give her tips that would help my wife succeed in marriage. She advised my wife never to be open-minded with me and that she should begin to live a separate life while pretending to be a wife in my house. She said my wife should also open a secret account for herself so that family members can occasionally drop some token into it for her upkeep because men are unreliable and my wife agreed with all what her sister said.
I opened another and it was a conversation with her immediate elder sister - not the same as above. This one picked every member of my family and abused the hell out of us... including myself. My wife enjoyed the abuses and even cheered her to talk further. They both called me 'half man' with one testicle - a secret my wife claimed she would never reveal to anyone. In this conversation, my wife told her sister that she was very glad that she finished me through what she told my dad when I was absent, they called my mother all sort of names and this one even told my wife never to act like a good daughter-in-law towards my mother, she was advised to do everything possible to prevent my mum from visiting... and so on...
Now I am extremely mad. So many options are coming to my mind but I don't know where to start from. It is now obvious that I've been living with a stranger all the while. My day at work was so horrible that I had to leave before closing. My head and heart are both heavy now but I'm trying to put myself together. Any ideas? [/quote
Bro don't really know what to say but I prayed the God of peace will see you through this very difficult moment and your life will not be destroyed by the enemies. |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by mysticgal(f): 7:59pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Guy I wish you well but do well to cook your food because your wife look or seem like person wey fit do baba dudu with your food and kai she seems marinated by evil ones. Sorry oh ![embarassed](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/embarassed.png) 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by ummeey: 8:08pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
She told her sisters about your testicle? Man your wife is a SNITCH BITCH 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by kaboninc(m): 8:28pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
DevGuru
You and your wife are acting a classical nollywood movie...
Just tell us what your next move will be or keep us in suspense until next week's episode! |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by Nobody: 8:36pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
DevGuru: NOTICE: Please, my story is still very long despite that I tried very hard to remove some unnecessary portions. But if you can be patient to read it to the end, then you are ready to give a mature opinion.
I am a Yoruba guy married to another Yoruba lady who happened to be the last of seven children. We met at the University and had a long courtship before we got married in 2014. I loved her so much and I believe she loved me too. We were each other's best friends. Shortly before we began to plan the wedding, on one faithful afternoon, I was watching the TV in my living room when I began to feel a slight pain in my lower abdomen. It got more intense within few hours and I had to go to a nearby hospital and by that time, the pain was inside my scrotum. The young doctor there didn't understand what was wrong and started injecting me with pain killers. I was kept there till midnight. The next morning, I noticed that one of my testicle was swelling up. I hen went to a teaching hospital where Orchitis was first diagnosed. After a week of antibiotics with no improvement, a consultant examined me and said it was torsion which should have been surgically corrected within few hours from the onset of the pain. As at that time, the testicle was dead. I had to go for surgery to have the dead one removed. My wife (then my fiancé) was with me in the hospital. She assured me that everything would be fine and that we could have as many kids as we wanted with just one left. I loved her the more.
Now we have a very beautiful daughter who obviously has my genes and delights everyone around her with her alluring beauty. We nearly lost her to a strange illness some months back but for God who used my mum to restore our daughter. That's another long story but not for this thread. My mum loves my family so much that even my wife knows that she can lay down her life for us to be fine. Since we got married, my wife hasn't worked owing partly to our daughter's health which is now very perfect. It's not been easy for me working day and night to feed the family and paying bills in a 3-bedroom apartment in Lagos but God has been helping us. My wife was so much loved in my family that people around thought she was my mum's daughter. Very hardworking and homely.
A little into her own family setup too... She has 4 female and 2 male siblings. All her siblings are married but very close to the parents. Because my wife and I were very close, I was aware of most of the happenings in their family, but I never even gave any thought to them on how they might affect my own marriage.... long story...
Last month, I repeatedly got home late due to an official event which I told my wife and I was talking to her on phone. One morning, she gave me a wild look and warned me never to come late again. I quickly noticed the strangeness in her actions and I comported myself by saying "I'm sorry, it won't happen again". We ate together and I left for work. I returned much earlier and was with her and my daughter for a couple of hours before went to bed after I told her I had a meeting the next morning.
When I woke up, I checked the time and realised I was running late. I greeted her and rushed out of the bed only for her to jump up too and say "We need to talk". Go on, I replied... Then she claimed she observed that I've been cold towards her since she tried to correct me the previous day. I denied it but she insisted, so I told her I would adjust and that I had nothing against her. She suddenly jumped at me and said I was going nowhere. I was very surprised as I asked her what was wrong with her. I begged her to let me go and if we had to discuss anything further, it could be later in the day after work. She grew wilder and began to abuse me verbally. I drew her out of my way so I could go have my bath and she grabbed my singlet and tore it down. I was shocked! I then grabbed her two hands and pushed her to sit on the bed. She just jumped up and said "this is what I've been waiting for". She rushed to her phone and called my dad. Immediately my dad answered the call, she suddenly began to cry saying "your son has been beating me since we woke up today"... It was like I was watching a nollywood movie. I looked like a poor citizen who had no money to eat but just got an allegation that EFCC had traced N1.4b to his account. My Dad called me immediately and ordered me to leave the house first before anything. Immediately, she called my mum too and said the same thing. My mum called me and began to cry that she never expected I would disgrace the family in such manner. I was sad and even had to shout at her cos she wouldn't let me say anything on phone. She didn't even give me time to explain what happened. My wife immediately called her eldest sister too and said the same thing. The sister called me and asked for what happened. I explained to her and she advised me never to raise my hand against her again, while she stylishly insulted me, but I disregarded that. I felt like Pastor Ken in the movie, 'The Price' who had to pay for what he did not do.
I had already missed my meeting but I had to go to work. That was the most horrible day for me at work because I couldn't even use my brain to do anything. I felt cheated and sincerely felt like doing what I had already suffered for. Then I felt the urge to use a bit of my power... I transferred some money to her account and then forwarded an SMS to her giving her 24hours to make up her mind on where she would love to go, either my family home or hers because I needed a break. Fee minutes later, her eldest sister called me to say my wife forwarded my SMS to her and that she was highly disappointed in me upon what she told me in the morning. I told her that I got more infuriated and betrayed seeing my wife ruin my reputation like that. She advised again and told me to go home and hug my wife. When I got home, my wife knelt down at the door and began to apologize that it was the devil. At that time, my elder sister called me and I narrated everything to her while my wife listened to me. The next morning, my wife continued to beg me. I saw the remorse and hugged her. We became happy again. The next day, I called her sister to thank her for her intervention.
My Dad came a few days later to confirm that we had settled everything. Unfortunately, I wasn't around when he arrived, so he called me on phone and I told him I would be around in about 1 hour. Before my arrival, she spoke at length with my Dad but begged him not to allow us revisit the issue on my arrival so as not to raise dusts again. On my arrival, my Dad just advised me and said he was glad we had already settled it. Since then, I've tried to get my home together again. I started leaving my office earlier than usual even when I had unfinished tasks.
This morning, I was flipping through the apps on my wife's phone and saw Call Recorder. I opened it but discovered it had a password. As a techie, I traced the file that stores all the voice calls and began to play one of my wife's recent conversations. It was with her eldest sister who intervened into our matter then. I nearly fainted!!! The sister hailed her for acting as planned and they both laughed with satisfaction. My wife said she was happy that she successfully ruined my image in my family and they both laughed again. They said they were happy that my mum who always thought she had raised good children was made to realize that I was a beast who beats his wife and so on. But the most infuriating part was when her sister said she wanted to give her tips that would help my wife succeed in marriage. She advised my wife never to be open-minded with me and that she should begin to live a separate life while pretending to be a wife in my house. She said my wife should also open a secret account for herself so that family members can occasionally drop some token into it for her upkeep because men are unreliable and my wife agreed with all what her sister said.
I opened another and it was a conversation with her immediate elder sister - not the same as above. This one picked every member of my family and abused the hell out of us... including myself. My wife enjoyed the abuses and even cheered her to talk further. They both called me 'half man' with one testicle - a secret my wife claimed she would never reveal to anyone. In this conversation, my wife told her sister that she was very glad that she finished me through what she told my dad when I was absent, they called my mother all sort of names and this one even told my wife never to act like a good daughter-in-law towards my mother, she was advised to do everything possible to prevent my mum from visiting... and so on...
Now I am extremely mad. So many options are coming to my mind but I don't know where to start from. It is now obvious that I've been living with a stranger all the while. My day at work was so horrible that I had to leave before closing. My head and heart are both heavy now but I'm trying to put myself together. Any ideas? First hope you got all the audio messages, first forwarded it all your family members and her family members to avoid lies, next is to divorce her. Don't accept her plea. |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by Ishilove: 8:36pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
GoldenJAT: call a family meeting sharply....giv them no room 2 suspect that you are up2 something,do make sure every1 of her siblings are there ...as well as urs.. play those records for them... and divorce her.. the marriage is over already... Just tell urself d hard truth.... u married a wolf in sheep clothing... that family is a cult,prepare 2c and hear more than u can take.... ur time start's now.. I personally be following you up.. don't mind having ur number... stories like these one.. is what makes men treat even d good women with disdain. ...it breaks my heart 2 know that those that can clean ur tears are actually d ones that will make u cry blood.. u will come out stronger. the Lord is ur strength! DevGuru, this poster has said it all. Truth is your wife is a stranger. I wish you the best. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by Ishilove: 8:48pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
DevGuru: UPDATE
I sincerely appreciate the fact that almost everyone here regards this matter a very serious one, this alone warms my heart a little. I have read through every single comment on this thread and I appreciate everyone. I couldn't take down the names of those whose comments aligned with my aim of keeping my marriage, but I thank everyone all the same. I realised from a myriad of comments that informing my people will mean a beginning of the end for my marriage. My daughter too is a major consideration. Above all, she's carrying another 6 week pregnancy. I have therefore decided to eliminate (or maybe suspend as the case turns out) informing any of my family members. I decided to play the records to her while I added some words. I started by telling her that my love for her made me decide to talk to her and not to anyone who would possibly fuel separation in my home like her sisters have done. She was shocked because she had never heard any allegation from me towards her elder ones before. She thought I was crazy and I wanted to bring up what was not. Then I played a little while I summarised the wildest words from her sisters which I heard in other discussion. For the FIRST time, my wife couldn't deny ANYTHING as she was convinced beyond doubt that she had been finished. She cried bitterly as I talked further but did not know what to do. But what pained me further was that it was obvious she cried because she saw that I was going to turn to an emperor and ridicule and justifiably disgrace her elderly advisers, NOT really because I was betrayed.
Right there, I was looking for a particular one to play and then even heard what I didn't hear before. Her eldest sister said she had discussed with some other siblings to intensify efforts towards her job search that as soon as she gets a job, she would have to be sending money home for them to create something for her in their town so she could come settle. She cried further as she heard it too. I told her the implications of what she had done to me with her people and then left her in the room because my baby girl was disturbing me. Anytime our voices are not friendly, she interrupts and cries for attention. I took my daughter to the living room and was playing with her.
After about 1 hour, she came to the living room and fell down before me as she cried further, saying "I'm sorry". Then I asked her to state exactly what she was begging me for - her betrayal or her siblings' offence. She knows me very well, she quickly said her betrayal (even though I knew that wasn't the primary cause of her heavy heart). Then I told her I was willing to forgive her in the spirit of upholding my marital vows to her. I explained further that for the sake of our daughter and the unborn one(s), I was willing to forgive her and build a stronger home with her. She felt a little relief knowing that she was getting back into me. I then said "but from this minute, I'm in a ruthless war with anyone, I repeat, ANYONE who is determined to break my home as I now have to guard our togetherness jealously". I stated further that the only thing I would hold against her was if she ever stood in my way. Just as if a thunder just struck and killed someone dear to her, she cried loudly again saying "she had finished her life". She said she would be the one to suffer in the war I just declared and that I should just allow her to call all of them and tell them never to meddle into our affairs again. I refused to fall for that trick and held my stance that my resolve was not going to change and I walked away. Since then till this moment, she has been like a mourning widow. When it was time for food, we ate together as usual and I've been the one trying to talk now. She hasn't spoken with anyone on phone since then, although I don't know about Whatsapp or BBM chat. Now she's waiting for the next available opportunity when she could plead for her sisters again... only God knows for how long the waiting would be. Let me quickly mention that she sent me an SMS from the bedroom a while ago: I CAN SEE THE HANDWORK OF THE DEVIL IN THIS WHOLE MATTER, PLS LET'S TRY TO RESIST THE DEVIL THIS TIME SO HE CAN FLEE FROM OUR HOME. I BEG YOU IN THE NAME OF GOD DEAR".... I simply replied from the living room: "ON THE CONTRARY HONEY, I CAN SEE THE HAND OF GOD. CAN'T YOU SEE IT?"
On another note, I do not want to assume that she will not tell her sisters, although it might take a while because she knew they would rebuke her for delivering them into the hands of their 'enemy' through Call Recorder. But before she informs them, I think I'd follow someone's advice here too that I should reveal it to someone who could keep it away from my mum and sisters, which is surely my Dad - just to put someone in the know, in case I begin to smell rat poison in my food... lol. What do you think? You're such a good writer. I mean, i can actually picture everything. Your narrative flowed easily, keeping us spellbound to the very end. Lovely ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) Meanwhile your wife needs some hot factory resetting slaps because it seems she can be easily manipulated. Last born ish. Please stand your ground and do as you're planning. Tell someone, your Dad or a mature sibling. This kind of thing is too heavy for one person 5 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by yetseyi(f): 8:49pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
DevGuru I think her parents and your dad should know about the calls
Oga TV01 and Bellong there's an update ooo 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by Spydamannn(m): 8:53pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
pharmagba: I feel very sorry for you, but a man got to be a man Firstly I don't know the real sickness and precise age of your daughter but one thing you must know is it is not good for a wife to have too much free time as it is a veritable devils workshop you ought to ensure she is working; open a shop for her or impregnate her so she continue baby nursing,
Now to your findings first of all copy it somewhere else like your phone and then confront her with it, play everything to her hearing, pause at intervals to ask her what you've done wrong, please don't be aggressive or angry; control your emotions. Ask her what she has to say.
Let her know it is betrayal, threaten her you will summon a family meeting of both family and see her reaction. If or not she apologies don't tell anybody either your family or her. NEVER.. It must not come from your mouth. But make a stand none of her family members should have your respect. They must never come to your house. Don't give reasons, don't pick or answer their calls until you see full repentance in her. which must be after like a year. .it is her family that must bear the brunt and punishment Nothing more
Don't divorce her she is your wife, folly is in the mind of a woman. I know it will definitely leave a scar in your relationship, forgive her still and try to let go, call her from work and be a good father and husband. advices that can help and kill |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by YourCoffin: 9:07pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
This whole thing is beginning to sound too real to be unreal. I know what good story tellers are capable of. Op I hope you are not toying with people's emotions here? 1 Like |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by pharmagba: 9:19pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
Spydamannn: advices that can help and kill The moment you marry, you've given a woman permission to kill you 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by bellong: 9:32pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
@Devguru,
Like I said earlier, you have to tell her parents. They need to call their daughters to order.
Yes, you can tell your dad. Your mum may not be able to handle it.
If your wife insists on staying with her sisters, ask her to choose either you or them. It will be her decision to break her own home. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by peeparty(m): 9:44pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
At this point ama so speechless..it so clear she's being influenced by her own people.. only the Holy Spirit can give you directions in cases like this.. #seek it. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by Nobody: 9:57pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
Devguru, I do not understand WHY you did not ask WHY she did this. Why did you not get to the bottom of the whole matter. It is not about her 'begging '. I don't know what it is with nigerians and begging. You do the wrong thing knowingly then you start begging when caught.
You are simply brushing it under the carpet and it is still going to rear it's ugly head again. If should doesn't have a reason for doing this, then you should divorce her cos she must be EVIL 20 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by Pyno30: 10:15pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
Ok |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by mylove4him(f): 10:27pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
O boy see the people that are viewing the thread.
Op may God give you the wisdom to handle this matter and forgive her totally. I am telling you that you won't be able to forget. Marriage isn't easy o. Some have head but no cap and some have cap but no head.
Mod, why take this to front page? You are calling teenagers to this thread. Please keep it where it is. We don't need this real life issue to be spammed. |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by Petroking: 10:28pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
Call a family meeting of your wife and yours. Do not make it sound like there is something wrong.. Make it sound like something of joy. Then when everybody comes together and sited. Greet everyone first and say I will like you all to thank my wife for always been a lovely wife also and that before you go on. You will like everyone to listen carefully to what you have. Ask your wife in a lovely way to please lend you her phone, connect it to a sound system and play the recordings one after the other. Once you are done with everything. Head for a divorce immediately that should be done asap DevGuru: NOTICE: Please, my story is still very long despite that I tried very hard to remove some unnecessary portions. But if you can be patient to read it to the end, then you are ready to give a mature opinion.
I am a Yoruba guy married to another Yoruba lady who happened to be the last of seven children. We met at the University and had a long courtship before we got married in 2014. I loved her so much and I believe she loved me too. We were each other's best friends. Shortly before we began to plan the wedding, on one faithful afternoon, I was watching the TV in my living room when I began to feel a slight pain in my lower abdomen. It got more intense within few hours and I had to go to a nearby hospital and by that time, the pain was inside my scrotum. The young doctor there didn't understand what was wrong and started injecting me with pain killers. I was kept there till midnight. The next morning, I noticed that one of my testicle was swelling up. I hen went to a teaching hospital where Orchitis was first diagnosed. After a week of antibiotics with no improvement, a consultant examined me and said it was torsion which should have been surgically corrected within few hours from the onset of the pain. As at that time, the testicle was dead. I had to go for surgery to have the dead one removed. My wife (then my fiancé) was with me in the hospital. She assured me that everything would be fine and that we could have as many kids as we wanted with just one left. I loved her the more.
Now we have a very beautiful daughter who obviously has my genes and delights everyone around her with her alluring beauty. We nearly lost her to a strange illness some months back but for God who used my mum to restore our daughter. That's another long story but not for this thread. My mum loves my family so much that even my wife knows that she can lay down her life for us to be fine. Since we got married, my wife hasn't worked owing partly to our daughter's health which is now very perfect. It's not been easy for me working day and night to feed the family and paying bills in a 3-bedroom apartment in Lagos but God has been helping us. My wife was so much loved in my family that people around thought she was my mum's daughter. Very hardworking and homely.
A little into her own family setup too... She has 4 female and 2 male siblings. All her siblings are married but very close to the parents. Because my wife and I were very close, I was aware of most of the happenings in their family, but I never even gave any thought to them on how they might affect my own marriage.... long story...
Last month, I repeatedly got home late due to an official event which I told my wife and I was talking to her on phone. One morning, she gave me a wild look and warned me never to come late again. I quickly noticed the strangeness in her actions and I comported myself by saying "I'm sorry, it won't happen again". We ate together and I left for work. I returned much earlier and was with her and my daughter for a couple of hours before went to bed after I told her I had a meeting the next morning.
When I woke up, I checked the time and realised I was running late. I greeted her and rushed out of the bed only for her to jump up too and say "We need to talk". Go on, I replied... Then she claimed she observed that I've been cold towards her since she tried to correct me the previous day. I denied it but she insisted, so I told her I would adjust and that I had nothing against her. She suddenly jumped at me and said I was going nowhere. I was very surprised as I asked her what was wrong with her. I begged her to let me go and if we had to discuss anything further, it could be later in the day after work. She grew wilder and began to abuse me verbally. I drew her out of my way so I could go have my bath and she grabbed my singlet and tore it down. I was shocked! I then grabbed her two hands and pushed her to sit on the bed. She just jumped up and said "this is what I've been waiting for". She rushed to her phone and called my dad. Immediately my dad answered the call, she suddenly began to cry saying "your son has been beating me since we woke up today"... It was like I was watching a nollywood movie. I looked like a poor citizen who had no money to eat but just got an allegation that EFCC had traced N1.4b to his account. My Dad called me immediately and ordered me to leave the house first before anything. Immediately, she called my mum too and said the same thing. My mum called me and began to cry that she never expected I would disgrace the family in such manner. I was sad and even had to shout at her cos she wouldn't let me say anything on phone. She didn't even give me time to explain what happened. My wife immediately called her eldest sister too and said the same thing. The sister called me and asked for what happened. I explained to her and she advised me never to raise my hand against her again, while she stylishly insulted me, but I disregarded that. I felt like Pastor Ken in the movie, 'The Price' who had to pay for what he did not do.
I had already missed my meeting but I had to go to work. That was the most horrible day for me at work because I couldn't even use my brain to do anything. I felt cheated and sincerely felt like doing what I had already suffered for. Then I felt the urge to use a bit of my power... I transferred some money to her account and then forwarded an SMS to her giving her 24hours to make up her mind on where she would love to go, either my family home or hers because I needed a break. Fee minutes later, her eldest sister called me to say my wife forwarded my SMS to her and that she was highly disappointed in me upon what she told me in the morning. I told her that I got more infuriated and betrayed seeing my wife ruin my reputation like that. She advised again and told me to go home and hug my wife. When I got home, my wife knelt down at the door and began to apologize that it was the devil. At that time, my elder sister called me and I narrated everything to her while my wife listened to me. The next morning, my wife continued to beg me. I saw the remorse and hugged her. We became happy again. The next day, I called her sister to thank her for her intervention.
My Dad came a few days later to confirm that we had settled everything. Unfortunately, I wasn't around when he arrived, so he called me on phone and I told him I would be around in about 1 hour. Before my arrival, she spoke at length with my Dad but begged him not to allow us revisit the issue on my arrival so as not to raise dusts again. On my arrival, my Dad just advised me and said he was glad we had already settled it. Since then, I've tried to get my home together again. I started leaving my office earlier than usual even when I had unfinished tasks.
This morning, I was flipping through the apps on my wife's phone and saw Call Recorder. I opened it but discovered it had a password. As a techie, I traced the file that stores all the voice calls and began to play one of my wife's recent conversations. It was with her eldest sister who intervened into our matter then. I nearly fainted!!! The sister hailed her for acting as planned and they both laughed with satisfaction. My wife said she was happy that she successfully ruined my image in my family and they both laughed again. They said they were happy that my mum who always thought she had raised good children was made to realize that I was a beast who beats his wife and so on. But the most infuriating part was when her sister said she wanted to give her tips that would help my wife succeed in marriage. She advised my wife never to be open-minded with me and that she should begin to live a separate life while pretending to be a wife in my house. She said my wife should also open a secret account for herself so that family members can occasionally drop some token into it for her upkeep because men are unreliable and my wife agreed with all what her sister said.
I opened another and it was a conversation with her immediate elder sister - not the same as above. This one picked every member of my family and abused the hell out of us... including myself. My wife enjoyed the abuses and even cheered her to talk further. They both called me 'half man' with one testicle - a secret my wife claimed she would never reveal to anyone. In this conversation, my wife told her sister that she was very glad that she finished me through what she told my dad when I was absent, they called my mother all sort of names and this one even told my wife never to act like a good daughter-in-law towards my mother, she was advised to do everything possible to prevent my mum from visiting... and so on...
Now I am extremely mad. So many options are coming to my mind but I don't know where to start from. It is now obvious that I've been living with a stranger all the while. My day at work was so horrible that I had to leave before closing. My head and heart are both heavy now but I'm trying to put myself together. Any ideas? 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by ISpiksDaTroof: 10:30pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
DevGuru: UPDATE
I sincerely appreciate the fact that almost everyone here regards this matter a very serious one, this alone warms my heart a little. I have read through every single comment on this thread and I appreciate everyone. I couldn't take down the names of those whose comments aligned with my aim of keeping my marriage, but I thank everyone all the same. I realised from a myriad of comments that informing my people will mean a beginning of the end for my marriage. My daughter too is a major consideration. Above all, she's carrying another 6 week pregnancy. I have therefore decided to eliminate (or maybe suspend as the case turns out) informing any of my family members. I decided to play the records to her while I added some words. I started by telling her that my love for her made me decide to talk to her and not to anyone who would possibly fuel separation in my home like her sisters have done. She was shocked because she had never heard any allegation from me towards her elder ones before. She thought I was crazy and I wanted to bring up what was not. Then I played a little while I summarised the wildest words from her sisters which I heard in other discussion. For the FIRST time, my wife couldn't deny ANYTHING as she was convinced beyond doubt that she had been finished. She cried bitterly as I talked further but did not know what to do. But what pained me further was that it was obvious she cried because she saw that I was going to turn to an emperor and ridicule and justifiably disgrace her elderly advisers, NOT really because I was betrayed.
Right there, I was looking for a particular one to play and then even heard what I didn't hear before. Her eldest sister said she had discussed with some other siblings to intensify efforts towards her job search that as soon as she gets a job, she would have to be sending money home for them to create something for her in their town so she could come settle. She cried further as she heard it too. I told her the implications of what she had done to me with her people and then left her in the room because my baby girl was disturbing me. Anytime our voices are not friendly, she interrupts and cries for attention. I took my daughter to the living room and was playing with her.
After about 1 hour, she came to the living room and fell down before me as she cried further, saying "I'm sorry". Then I asked her to state exactly what she was begging me for - her betrayal or her siblings' offence. She knows me very well, she quickly said her betrayal (even though I knew that wasn't the primary cause of her heavy heart). Then I told her I was willing to forgive her in the spirit of upholding my marital vows to her. I explained further that for the sake of our daughter and the unborn one(s), I was willing to forgive her and build a stronger home with her. She felt a little relief knowing that she was getting back into me. I then said "but from this minute, I'm in a ruthless war with anyone, I repeat, ANYONE who is determined to break my home as I now have to guard our togetherness jealously". I stated further that the only thing I would hold against her was if she ever stood in my way. Just as if a thunder just struck and killed someone dear to her, she cried loudly again saying "she had finished her life". She said she would be the one to suffer in the war I just declared and that I should just allow her to call all of them and tell them never to meddle into our affairs again. I refused to fall for that trick and held my stance that my resolve was not going to change and I walked away. Since then till this moment, she has been like a mourning widow. When it was time for food, we ate together as usual and I've been the one trying to talk now. She hasn't spoken with anyone on phone since then, although I don't know about Whatsapp or BBM chat. Now she's waiting for the next available opportunity when she could plead for her sisters again... only God knows for how long the waiting would be. Let me quickly mention that she sent me an SMS from the bedroom a while ago: I CAN SEE THE HANDWORK OF THE DEVIL IN THIS WHOLE MATTER, PLS LET'S TRY TO RESIST THE DEVIL THIS TIME SO HE CAN FLEE FROM OUR HOME. I BEG YOU IN THE NAME OF GOD DEAR".... I simply replied from the living room: "ON THE CONTRARY HONEY, I CAN SEE THE HAND OF GOD. CAN'T YOU SEE IT?"
On another note, I do not want to assume that she will not tell her sisters, although it might take a while because she knew they would rebuke her for delivering them into the hands of their 'enemy' through Call Recorder. But before she informs them, I think I'd follow someone's advice here too that I should reveal it to someone who could keep it away from my mum and sisters, which is surely my Dad - just to put someone in the know, in case I begin to smell rat poison in my food... lol. What do you think?
Cc: ezechueze, Mafking, AccidentalGenius, RadicallyBlunt, ojun50, GoldenJAT, olempe, LuveU2, goldbim, phabulous88, pharmagba, 2goodbobo, PezzoNovante, marvelous000, Tritri, IRserveMyComent, AlienStar, STENON, krak101, AccidentalGenius, danduchi, samsam2019, uchedydy, Ruemufaith, sashishalom, ednut1, bakynes, sumborr, general111, byvan03, obiak4, Eketem, obiak4, emekachimek, elektra, priceaction, segzy0i, MizzD, richyfunky, bellong, nnamdibig, Timbuktou, TheArchangel, tearoses, andromida, HaneefahRN, TV01, Amelian, WellEndowed, Jethrolite, baeboo, trishapal, drss, Donemmy, Ujoan, pcguru1, Tochex101, pastorpussy, crackhaus, ranktzy, cococandy, mysticgal, toksbisola, Okikiki, succourplanet, Darla, ummeey, kaboninc, BiggyB242, Ishilove Ok, I dont want to call you "foolish" as I do not know your age or how Nigerian culture handles marriage issues such as this, but I'll tell you this: You're living with a snake that'll not hesitate to strike you when the opportunity presents itself. Take that anyway you want to. In your best interest, and if you really love your life, separate (at the very least), continue providing her money for your child's upkeep till you figure out what it is you really want to do. But living with her--for now-- is dangerous to your health. Also, let your mum and dad hear the recordings. Be safe and good luck. 23 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by Elebiju: 10:31pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
Now I'm scared to get married. 4 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by rosy1992(f): 10:32pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
This is so touching . You both should give yourselves some break for the main time before finding a means of sorting things out. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by babayega(m): 10:33pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
OP, do you really think you have a future with her? The love is tainted...forever! 4 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by repogirl(f): 10:33pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
OP, this story is too hard for me to swallow o. What would possess a sane woman to listen to such devilish advice if you yourself have not done anything to her. Is she mad ![](/faces/huh.png) ? Abi she is under a spell ![](/faces/huh.png) I just can't get it sha. Anyway you need to call a family meeting immediately, so that you are vindicated and to prevent future false allegations. Only God knows what plans they have prepared against you. It's time to protect yourself by letting everyone know what is really going on. Pls don't divorce her just yet,she is being influenced wrongly and if that relationship is cut off then she might get her senses back. |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by jajainall(m): 10:34pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
My own take is ....copy all the recorded files to your phone as evidence, and seek for divorce . Like you bro, I cherish n love my wife seriously but no woman born of a woman can insult my Mum and I continue to stay with her under same roof all in the name of marriage ......provided I have a proof just like you .
Be a man ...... 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by Nobody: 10:35pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
Plzz don't take this issue lightly! Inform your dad! I fear she might be "persuaded" to go diabolical. 5 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by packagerz: 10:35pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
Bro, God bless you,u need to pray for wisdom in this, but relax, I had better story pass yours, but don't look @family,her sister's words and all her action. Just relax and don't show her you know all dis stories pls.but act and watch.....it will come to pass I bet it with you...just pray for her and she will change. Read ur bible and pray.God will put u tru,give u strength to over come it but don't push her out...let from jesus's christ pls. Forgive and forget.if she like she shld open acc or disrespect your family but God will save u... All d best bro |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by tete7000(m): 10:37pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
DevGuru: NOTICE:Any ideas? To start with what does her family looks like? What kind of relationship exists between her mother and her father? Her siblings, are they married? If yes, what sort of relationship exists between them and their spouses? Answers to these questions can help you locate the source of your problem and thus help you device how to approach finding solution to it. General attitude of her home towards marriage matters. |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by MrD2: 10:37pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
AlienStar: I can never advise you to divorce her esp since she is not infidel... This generation forgot that marriage must have it's ups & down, it ain't a bed of roses. And you should know that she knew her siblings b4 you (I'm ain't justifying her o, buh it's the reality) so it may be easy for them to manipulate her esp as she's the last born! So now copy does recordings to your phone (as proof) and ask her about it, tell that this is her home that she shouldn't allow her siblings to run it for her to avoid expensive mistake. I think you shouldn't invite a 3rd party and always pray together ("cause the family that prays together, stays 2geda".) I disagree with you. This is not what you approach with kid's glove. 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by Taryur3(m): 10:37pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
If not for the sake of bearing children that is biblical too...60 percent of men will remained single becos of this type of evil women.I won't advise the Op to divorce her,I will simply advise him to Call both party family meeting since he had all the call records and surprised them that he is aware of all thier evil plans...now the woman wI'll becareful to take any advise from siblings and she will definitely hate them all.but it would have been so sweet if he divorced her so that she will lack the care she has been having on platter of gold. (Not the best though ) 4 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by ahahnow: 10:37pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
i advice you to kill them 1 Like |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by saintdennis(m): 10:38pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
Very very fake story.
Chaiii I been dey believe untill I read the final line. Mtcheeew 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by Marvel1206: 10:40pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
Mr Devguru... This story touched me to the marrow.. Infact i was almost in tears... What could have caused this ![](/faces/huh.png) My advice: Call a meeting or like a party or just cook up smfn to celebrate, you would be lucky if your wife's birthday is around the corner.. Inviting only your wife's siblings, your parents and of course her.. (To clear their minds(The siblings) of any foul play) In the living room.. Don't make this violent.. Prepare a speech(An emotional one would be better that would touch their hearts) then play the recording you might have obtained... Something is bound to happen... Cc: Devguru 1 Like |
Re: My Wife's Siblings Are Breaking Us Apart And I'm Mad Right Now by olaarie(m): 10:40pm On Jul 05, 2016 |
Mafking: Bro your matter pass nairaland.o
Your story just wan destroy my mood ni... My sincere advice: You will be dead soon if you do not divorce her. RIP to you in advance. Don't kill ursef because of her pussy, better ladies are out there. 1 Like |