hi family landers,

I am so depressed as of right now..

I have a bro who recently got married to his fiancée..

we were happy as a family until my bro's wife started interfering in between my bro and I..
it all started when I had an urgent need in school, I approached my bro with the most humble scenery one can ever imagine, his wife just cut me short, and said they was no money, I was shocked as my bro sided with her and said they was no money.
I took it in good faith and went away.
later that day ,when they were back from work,I overhead my bro talking to someone in his bedroom..
I went closer and behold my bro was talking to his wife sis asking her if she had seen the alert of the money he sent to her..immediately I heard that,I just sat on the floor and sobbed loudly..

I wonder why my bro will be treating me and my junior bro like this ,we are orphans (lost dad and mum the same day in a car accident)my bro is in jss3 in a public school(my bro's wife changed him with the pretext that they couldn't afford the private school fee).me,I'm in my final year in the university, just remaining my project and my final year school fees..
I am really depressed as my mates have already gone to nysc..

I can't go to anywhere because of clearance and my bro has turned a deaf ear to my appeal to set me up with something I can do to at least clear my self in school..
I am not a lazy person, God forbid that I be lazy but I don't have the necessary incentive to startup something..

I am just fed up with the whole scenario, I have thought of suicide, but ithat will be foolishness as my junior bro will be left in this world to suffer alone..

If my parents are seeing all that is happening, they should please intervene on our behalf because I'm almost giving up... ;'(

sorry for bothering you all with my trouble

Some Women!!!!! Hian just take it with good faith that things of these nature happens. I have nothing on me, you might be lucky if good and buoyant nairalanders storms this thread.

Ahmed0336:
Some Women!!!!! Hian

that is what I have been suffering for 2yrs nw

I'm not quite sure how any man lets his wife come between him and the family he's known his entire life, to be honest...it's just something I can't fathom.

I'm sorry about your plight but the only solution I can proffer is that you leave your brother and his wife be, seek your fortunes elsewhere.
When a woman has gained that much control over a man enough to turn him against his siblings, there isn't much that can be done without you coming off like the agent sent to break the marriage.
And you really gotta stop eavesdropping on their conversations - mind your business.

You're a woman, your brother's wife is a woman - are you seeing the bigger picture yet?

humbledbyfaith:
that is what I have been suffering for 2yrs nw

i have a friend who happens to be in similar situation. He is the first Son and have 3 younger ones. Him been wan marry i tell am say make him chill first, allow his immediate younger brother grad before getting married to avoid story that touches. And to be honest thats what saved his younger ones, Cos as he married chai!!! Him matter don pass our power cos we no just understand d dude again

crackhaus:
I'm not quite sure how any man lets his wife come between him and the family he's known his entire life, to be honest...it's just something I can't fathom.

I'm sorry about your plight but the only solution I can proffer is that you leave your brother and his wife be, seek your fortunes elsewhere.
When a woman has gained that much control over a man enough to turn him against his siblings, there isn't much that can be done without you coming off like the agent sent to break the marriage.
And you really gotta stop eavesdropping on their conversations - mind your business.

You're a woman, your brother's wife is a woman - are you seeing the bigger picture yet?

thanks dear for your homely advice..
as for leaving the house, I have thought of that but sadly have no where to go..
both my maternal and paternal relations have turned their back o. is..our bro is our only hope..sadly enough..

Ahmed0336:
i have a friend who happens to be in similar situation. He is the first Son and have 3 younger ones. Him been wan marry i tell am say make him chill first, allow his immediate younger brother grad before getting married to avoid story that touches. And to be honest thats what saved his younger ones, Cos as he married chai!!! Him matter don pass our power cos we no just understand d dude again

Oh God

humbledbyfaith:

thanks dear for your homely advice..
as for leaving the house, I have thought of that but sadly have no where to go..
both my maternal and paternal relations have turned their back o. is..our bro is our only hope..sadly enough..

You don't need to leave the house, what I meant by seek your fortunes elsewhere is that you seek other avenues to get the money you need - could be from friends or course mates.

As for your brother, try approaching him again when his wife isn't at home to have a discussion with him regarding the fees you need to pay before the school can let you go.
He is your brother, has always been your brother, and will always be your brother - there's no way he wouldn't want you to go for your NYSC assuming his wife hasn't completely messed up his head.

In the meantime, try as much as possible to avoid anything that will cause direct altercations between you and his wife...do your chores, mind your business, and stay out of her way - you're the one who needs their help and even if you don't like your SIL, false humilty and loyalty always works wonders.

Remember to only have discussions with your brother when you both are alone.

crackhaus:

You don't need to leave the house, what I meant by seek your fortunes elsewhere is that you seek other avenues to get the money you need - could be from friends or course mates.

As for your brother, try approaching him again when his wife isn't at home to have a discussion with him regarding the fees you need to pay before the school can let you go.
He is your brother, has always been your brother, and will always be your brother - there's no way he wouldn't want you to go for your NYSC assuming his wife hasn't completely messed up his head.

In the meantime, try as much as possible to avoid anything that will cause direct altercations between you and his wife...do your chores, mind your business, and stay out of her way - you're the one who needs their help and even if you don't like your SIL, false humilty and loyalty always works wonders.

Remember to only have discussions with your brother when you both are alone.

thanks so much for ur matured advice.. my
God surely aint dead!!

I'm sorry about the current situation boo.

Just put it in prayers and God will come though for you.
When God wants to do his thing, he doesn't pay regard to one wife or the other somewhere. With him, it is "Jabez prayed....and God answered". There will be no long stories when you commit it to him.

Pray dear, and the money will come.

#You are in your finals, you're almost there.

What did you demand money for? I don't see myself responding to a sibling that needs money for sorting in school even if am sitting on billions.

Babe I remember you raising this topic and been advised extensively yet u didn't listen.
You hv shown urself to be somewhat jealous os ur SIL. U didn't want ur brother to progress and marry because u felt his attention and priority will shift and rightly so. You are not a young girl, make use of your time and start earning money for urself and please stop this self entitlement is u hv.

https://www.nairaland.com/3043054/tired-life-need

https://www.nairaland.com/2961350/could-it-brother-bewitched-something

humbledbyfaith:
ay family landers,

I am so depressed as of right now..

I have a bro who recently got marrier to his fiancée..

we were happy as a family until my bro's wife started interfering in between my bro and I..
it all started when I had an urgent need in school, I approached my bro with the most humble scenery one can ever imagine, his wife just cut me short, and said they was no money, I was shocked as my bro sided with her and said they was no money.
I took it in good faith and went away.
later that day ,when they were back from work,I overhead my bro talking to someone in his bedroom..
I went closer and behold my bro was talking to his wife sis asking her if she had seen the alert of the money he sent to her..immediately I heard that,I just sat on the floor and sobbed loudly..

I wonder why my bro will be treating me and my junior bro like this ,we are orphans (lost dad and mum the same day in a car accident)my bro is in jss3 in a public school(my bro's wife changed him with the pretext that they couldn't afford the private school fee).me,I'm in my final year in the university, just remaining my project and my final year school fees..
I am really depressed as mates have already gone to nysc..

I can't go to anywhere because of clearance and my bro has turned a dear ear to my appeal to set me up with something I can do to at least clear my self in school..
I am not a lazy person, God forbid that I be lazy but I don't have the necessary incentive to startup something..

I am just fed up with the whole scenario, I have thought of suicide, but ithat will be foolishness as my junior bro will be left in this world to suffer alone..

If my parents are seeing all that is happening, they should please intervene on our behalf because I'm almost giving up... ;'(

sorry for bothering you all with my trouble

well this might sound harsh. I don't feel sorry for you. only sorry about your parents.

1* what have you been doing from your year one till your final year? depending on your brother? do you also ask him for funds to get your sanitary pads and lingeries?

2* you eaves dropped and heard about some money being transferred into your brothers wife account, do you know what excatly the money is meant for? or you just concluded it's for her to enjoy.

3* eavesdropping is a very annoying attitude. STOP IT.

4* No your brother or is wife are not doing you any wrong, rather they want you to be independent.

5* it's not to late to get doing something with your hand. there is a whole lot of ideas and people are making millions for themselves.

don't even think about keeping malice with your brother or his wife, you will end up biting the finger that fed you. you are not a child so get busy lady.

best wishes.

keepingmum:
Babe I remember you raising this topic and been advised extensively yet u didn't listen.
You hv shown urself to be somewhat jealous os ur SIL. U didn't want ur brother to progress and marry because u felt his attention and priority will shift and rightly so. You are not a young girl, make use of your time and start earning money for urself and please stop this self entitlement is u hv.

https://www.nairaland.com/3043054/tired-life-need

https://www.nairaland.com/2961350/could-it-brother-bewitched-something

by dear..

it seems everyone doesn't get the real picture..

@taryour..
I virtually paid my school fees since my year 2 up till my finals..

I hustled through hair dressing and all but I have stopped all that now.. as I want to fully concentrate on my final year of study..
mind you,upon inception, I literally take care of my self and my little bro..
my bro treats us with apparent disdain...
whatever the wive have spoken to him I don't know...
I have tried to bring her to my heart as a sister Inlaw but it seems she sees me as a competition for her husband..
well,I leave everything to God Almighty...

thanks dear

Thats the problem with folks back home. Dependency life style is killing some folks!! you depend on you brother for something like say na your birth right. My guy, like u said you are not lazy, there are lots of things you can do to bring u some small change while you wait to go serve, teaching, sell food stuffs and all. I did it, hustled and learned depending on people won't get u nowhere unless God shows mercy. U need to wise up.

When you try your luck by doing like brother 50 cent said in his movies, work hard or die trying, you will be surprised at your inner strength. So look for way to fend for yourself without depending on him. At some point he carried you all on his shoulders. Now his hearts is elsewhere.

Warning:-
Don't get married if you have immediate family financial obligations.

lalasticlala can you please help me get more helpful advice on how to survive this

humbledbyfaith:


by dear..

it seems everyone doesn't get the real picture..

@taryour..
I virtually paid my school fees since my year 2 up till my finals..

I hustled through hair dressing and all but I have stopped all that now.. as I want to fully concentrate on my final year of study..
mind you,upon inception, I literally take care of my self and my little bro..
my bro treats us with apparent disdain...
whatever the wive have spoken to him I don't know...
I have tried to bring her to my heart as a sister Inlaw but it seems she sees me as a competition for her husband..
well,I leave everything to God Almighty...

thanks dear

oh my bad. sorry about my previous post. you dint put the part where you funded your fees and for your younger bro. it is well, such is life. God will sure see you thru this trying times. it is only but for a little while.
be strong.

taryour:



oh my bad. sorry about my previous post. you dint put the part where you funded your fees and for your younger bro. it is well, such is life. God will sure see you thru this trying times. it is only but for a little while.
be strong.

thanks dear.

I feel so down

Not funny at all. I wished the environment is like what we have here. 20 credits hours/schedule and 20 hours part time job tutoring, washing toilet, cafeteria assistant, students office assistant etc
I'm sure if she had said something like please brother I have 30 thousand from my small so and so konkiri business, and need your help to make up etc it would have yielded better response from him.
Every human for himself/herself...that's what I learnt here. You will not reach your destination if you wait on anyone.

Favored4gud:
Thats the problem with folks back home. Dependency life style is killing some folks!! you depend on you brother for something like say na your birth right. My guy, like u said you are not lazy, there are lots of things you can do to bring u some small change while you wait to go serve, teaching, sell food stuffs and all. I did it, hustled and learned depending on people won't get u nowhere unless God shows mercy. U need to wise up.

.

humbledbyfaith:
hi family landers,

I am so depressed as of right now..

I have a bro who recently got married to his fiancée..

we were happy as a family until my bro's wife started interfering in between my bro and I..
it all started when I had an urgent need in school, I approached my bro with the most humble scenery one can ever imagine, his wife just cut me short, and said they was no money, I was shocked as my bro sided with her and said they was no money.
I took it in good faith and went away.
later that day ,when they were back from work,I overhead my bro talking to someone in his bedroom..
I went closer and behold my bro was talking to his wife sis asking her if she had seen the alert of the money he sent to her..immediately I heard that,I just sat on the floor and sobbed loudly..

I wonder why my bro will be treating me and my junior bro like this ,we are orphans (lost dad and mum the same day in a car accident)my bro is in jss3 in a public school(my bro's wife changed him with the pretext that they couldn't afford the private school fee).me,I'm in my final year in the university, just remaining my project and my final year school fees..
I am really depressed as my mates have already gone to nysc..

I can't go to anywhere because of clearance and my bro has turned a deaf ear to my appeal to set me up with something I can do to at least clear my self in school..
I am not a lazy person, God forbid that I be lazy but I don't have the necessary incentive to startup something..

I am just fed up with the whole scenario, I have thought of suicide, but ithat will be foolishness as my junior bro will be left in this world to suffer alone..

If my parents are seeing all that is happening, they should please intervene on our behalf because I'm almost giving up... ;'(

sorry for bothering you all with my trouble

Hmmm Not again!!!

You never reach to marry
Dead parents ko.! You go invoke tire.

Pls if you are a christian go to your church for funds. No be only to collect tithe them sabi.

If a Moslem, you know your way to the mosque.

If neither of the two. Go get a boyfriend ojare. No be only to do osho free . If you dey chop frog chop better one

Love no dey this one oh.
This is emergency. As you no fit find work take support yourself..it better you know where you are skilled and go for it. Let your Bros breathe abeg.

Time you use to complain from last yr you suppose Don sell 40k recharge card for traffic in one week.

My dear..carry your self and find your way ojare.

N'a your type dey collect handout money 100 times yet no result.

taryour:



oh my bad. sorry about my previous post. you dint put the part where you funded your fees and for your younger bro. it is well, such is life. God will sure see you thru this trying times. it is only but for a little while.
be strong.

Taar!!! Don't mind that liar. Go through her other topics you will see what I mean. She is just a jealous and lazy being. Bitter wicked thing. "worked in a saloon, I have been paying me and my bro fee" my ass. Her brother is simply tired of her attitude. Mtcheew

Dats d reason I neva wanted 2 get married on time. I don't want anything 2 stop me 4rm helping my siblings.
Op, with God nothing is impossible. Prayer is ur only solution, u can even fast 2 top if of.

WHOcarex:
Taar!!! Don't mind that liar. Go through her other topics you will see what I mean. She is just a jealous and lazy being. Bitter wicked thing. "worked in a saloon, I have been paying me and my bro fee" my ass. Her brother is simply tired of her attitude. Mtcheew

hi..
please don't aggravate my already wounded soul..

I haven't really described more horrible details to you to ascertain my stance that I am trying

Chillisauce:
You never reach to marry
Dead parents ko.! You go invoke tire.

Pls if you are a christian go to your church for funds. No be only to collect tithe them sabi.

If a Moslem, you know your way to the mosque.

If neither of the two. Go get a boyfriend ojare. No be only to do osho free . If you dey chop frog chop better one

Love no dey this one oh.
This is emergency. As you no fit find work take support yourself..it better you know where you are skilled and go for it. Let your Bros breathe abeg.

Time you use to complain from last yr you suppose Don sell 40k recharge card for traffic in one week.

My dear..carry your self and find your way ojare.

N'a your type dey collect handout money 100 times yet no result.

Don't mind her

humbledbyfaith:
hi..
please don't aggravate my already wounded soul..

I haven't really described more horrible details to you to ascertain my stance that I am trying

Stop whining!

When someone gets married, their immediate family comes first then brothers and sisters come second.

When you act towards the wife or husband as if they've come to take something that belongs to you, it will breed friction. Your comments about your brother's wife since he got married shows you think that you guys should come first before her.
Sorry it doesn't work that way.

On the chance that your brother is really uncaring like you've painted, you have no choice than to fend for yourself.
If you didn't have him what would you do? See it as your cross and bear it.

Yes your brother was pulled from private school because your elder brother now has more responsibilities. You're in Nigeria. You've the seen the hard economic situation. When there's more responsibility than money coming in, everyone has to adjust. If he kept your brother in private school, where will the money to take care of his new duties as a husband come from? You may not even know how much money he makes. Don't assume.

I believe members of this forum have adviced you enough. You can't keep lamenting from year to year. At some point you'll have to pick yourself up and realize you're the only one you have. Goodluck to you.

Anabel:
But truthfully, unless your bro is just wicked. He should have a mind of his own. Must a woman control him in marriage? I'm a lady o. But I don't interfere in a guy's family issues. I've learnt my lesson big time from that.

Endure the Rainey days to enjoy to the Sunshine. Marrying a terrible woman is a big problem... God shall help us to choose a vitreous n good one.

Sit your brother down and talk