humbledbyfaith:
hi family landers,

I am so depressed as of right now..

I have a bro who recently got married to his fiancée..

we were happy as a family until my bro's wife started interfering in between my bro and I..
it all started when I had an urgent need in school, I approached my bro with the most humble scenery one can ever imagine, his wife just cut me short, and said they was no money, I was shocked as my bro sided with her and said they was no money.
I took it in good faith and went away.
later that day ,when they were back from work,I overhead my bro talking to someone in his bedroom..
I went closer and behold my bro was talking to his wife sis asking her if she had seen the alert of the money he sent to her..immediately I heard that,I just sat on the floor and sobbed loudly..

I wonder why my bro will be treating me and my junior bro like this ,we are orphans (lost dad and mum the same day in a car accident)my bro is in jss3 in a public school(my bro's wife changed him with the pretext that they couldn't afford the private school fee).me,I'm in my final year in the university, just remaining my project and my final year school fees..
I am really depressed as my mates have already gone to nysc..

I can't go to anywhere because of clearance and my bro has turned a deaf ear to my appeal to set me up with something I can do to at least clear my self in school..
I am not a lazy person, God forbid that I be lazy but I don't have the necessary incentive to startup something..

I am just fed up with the whole scenario, I have thought of suicide, but ithat will be foolishness as my junior bro will be left in this world to suffer alone..

If my parents are seeing all that is happening, they should please intervene on our behalf because I'm almost giving up... ;'(

sorry for bothering you all with my trouble

david290:
I am very disappointed at some comments on here especially those bearing a female moniker. It further reinforces my resolve not to marry a lady born and bred in Nigeria. For crying out loud how should an 'orphan' be expected to work and pay her school fees? Where is even the job? Are some people in this country at all? I am undergraduate as well. I pay 65k as an indigene. Aside the fact I may not be able to pay that sum if was to be working (and considering the fact some schools pay far above 100k), is it that easy combining academics with working? And the lady just added she is in her finals...
I always believe we have a heart that is large enough to accomodate all our loved ones. My mum is the first in my life. My immediate sister is next. I mean the hierarchy will follow in that order. If you're coming into my life to compete with these two then you got hell to contend. Whoever is going to have a place in my life will have to fight for it. My mum fight for hers by sacrificing selflessly for me. My sister believed in me when no one does and is always supporting my dream. No one, I repeat no one will ever come into my life to replace these two. Fight for your place in my life, that's all.
@Op, please disregard these agents of the devil. Turn for your help elsewhere. You do not need to invoke any spirit. Time will take care of everything or perhaps Karma. Myself too used to have one randy uncle like that. Today, karma has demoted him from an immigration officer to a cab man in Abuja. And the evil wife has fled. Just be positive. Surround yourself with people of substance and join organisation that are necessary. You will make it. I believe.

byvan03:
What did you demand money for? I don't see myself responding to a sibling that needs money for sorting in school even if am sitting on billions.

banmee:


Thanks for the info. I did not know that. One favor, how do I contact them. Not savvy when it comes to navigating links on NL.

humbledbyfaith:
that is what I have been suffering for 2yrs nw

WHOcarex:
Taar!!! Don't mind that liar. Go through her other topics you will see what I mean. She is just a jealous and lazy being. Bitter wicked thing. "worked in a saloon, I have been paying me and my bro fee" my ass. Her brother is simply tired of her attitude. Mtcheew

2sexynet:
this family section is filled with bitter souls.... it is mostly the women that will attack but when the case of mother in law is involved, you will see a different thing entirely.

No woman has right to come between me and my sibling. I will NEVER giver that power.

cococandy:
When someone gets married, their immediate family comes first then brothers and sisters come second.

When you act towards the wife or husband as if they've come to take something that belongs to you, it will breed friction. Your comments about your brother's wife since he got married shows you think that you guys should come first before her.
Sorry it doesn't work that way.

On the chance that your brother is really uncaring like you've painted, you have no choice than to fend for yourself.
If you didn't have him what would you do? See it as your cross and bear it.

Yes your brother was pulled from private school because your elder brother now has more responsibilities. You're in Nigeria. You've the seen the hard economic situation. When there's more responsibility than money coming in, everyone has to adjust. If he kept your brother in private school, where will the money to take care of his new duties as a husband come from? You may not even know how much money he makes. Don't assume.

I believe members of this forum have adviced you enough. You can't keep lamenting from year to year. At some point you'll have to pick yourself up and realize you're the only one you have. Goodluck to you.

david290:
I am very disappointed at some comments on here especially those bearing a female moniker. It further reinforces my resolve not to marry a lady born and bred in Nigeria. For crying out loud how should an 'orphan' be expected to work and pay her school fees? Where is even the job? Are some people in this country at all? I am undergraduate as well. I pay 65k as an indigene. Aside the fact I may not be able to pay that sum if was to be working (and considering the fact some schools pay far above 100k), is it that easy combining academics with working? And the lady just added she is in her finals...
I always believe we have a heart that is large enough to accomodate all our loved ones. My mum is the first in my life. My immediate sister is next. I mean the hierarchy will follow in that order. If you're coming into my life to compete with these two then you got hell to contend. Whoever is going to have a place in my life will have to fight for it. My mum fight for hers by sacrificing selflessly for me. My sister believed in me when no one does and is always supporting my dream. No one, I repeat no one will ever come into my life to replace these two. Fight for your place in my life, that's all.
@Op, please disregard these agents of the devil. Turn for your help elsewhere. You do not need to invoke any spirit. Time will take care of everything or perhaps Karma. Myself too used to have one randy uncle like that. Today, karma has demoted him from an immigration officer to a cab man in Abuja. And the evil wife has fled. Just be positive. Surround yourself with people of substance and join organisation that are necessary. You will make it. I believe.

humbledbyfaith:

thanks dear for your homely advice..
as for leaving the house, I have thought of that but sadly have no where to go..
both my maternal and paternal relations have turned their back o. is..our bro is our only hope..sadly enough..

bekpo:





It's saddened when such comments r duled out in situations like this. Most of us that had put on this shoe, we know what it means. However I love my wife and or however money I spend on my wedding, it cannot and can never set me against my family. Except I purposely refused to do it. I am the man of the house and u r not married only to me but my family. It will b a thing of joy for me to see my siblings progressing in life courtesy of me, after all the woman never know how we started.
My candid advice to u is simple, I may know u where not raised in a hard way, but u must adjust, go get a legitimate work and do, do it with the heart that u r responsible for ur self and if u fail, u fail ur self. Determined to succeed and u will succeed. I was once in ur shoe but I never gave up. But today I can confirm to u that I am a legal practitioner. I could remember vividly those period I will buy digestive biscuit of 5 naira ate it and am off to the class for TDD. But today am successful. I know u shall succeed as well. Cheers good luck.

2sexynet:
https://www.nairaland.com/tehn

darlenese:
U want to sound as pathetic as possible , but I don't want to fall for your story,as a final year student , if u are responsible , u should have a serious relationship by now , pls leave ur brother and his wife alone , most sister in law find it difficult to accept the fact that their brother is now closely tied to another woman who isn't their blood , they want to forever remain knitted witn their brother ,my dear mind or business and accept the fact that ur brother is now raising his own family ,

Stop cooking up pathetic stories and let ur brother be , u are no longer a kid, and u will have ur home someday , that your parents died is not enough reason to be sneaking and eaves dropping on ur brother's privacy !

As for your younger one going to a public school , there is nothing wrong with that , stop being emotional about it, your brother is only adjusting to the new realities on ground , you don't even know how much he earns, he has started a new family and he must be plan for his family !

As for invoking ur dead parents on ur brother , i will advise that u use that energy to pray for a good husband and a good job for yourself !

banmee:


I don't know if you are serious or not, but I have been thinking of doing something like this come first of January. It would be nice if we, and by we, i mean people who are not rich but can help students in Nigeria with small stipends to sustain them in school. I am thinking of giving one deserving student, no older than 22, 50 to a 100 dollars a month for a year, every year. Problem is the selection process. What do you think?

marvelous000:

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Baba, it still beats my imagination how a random woman with the title “wife,” will be able to hack into some guy's brain and rob them of their love and sense of responsibility to their family (especially female siblings).

I still can't fathom how the mental pillage works, but I'm certain of my radical immunity to such fuckery.
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2sexynet:
The emboldened should make you even pity the men who house those women. It is why I do not come around the family section because most of them are filled with evil selfishness. They see members of their respective husband's family as aliens, forgetting that they might need help from same people they alienate. it happened to me and today I render help to my predator of years ago. Pity the men that house them bro.

uwagimboo:

OP, if I must say, ur story is not complete..
*How come none from ur maternal home nd paternal home cares about you Some story about ur real personality is missing..

*Now u Know ur brother does not care about your welfare what re u doing now to succeed or do whining proffer solution.

* what if this same brother of urs slumps nd die today, will his widow also be responsible about ur welfare?

OP, as a christian I will say talk to God but u need to work out something for urself..

We all have our stories, not until u re told, u will hide urs.

uplawal:
Nothing is wrong,i have just said what the Almighty demands from close families/siblings,you people are so ignorant of life,you do as you wish,no laws to guide you on the right path,if you people dnt know,its a very big sin to neglect your siblings in this situation,very big sin before Almighty God,and the siblings bond should never be broken,thats the way of God,and anyone doing opposite will reap it consequences,no matter what your siblings has done to you,they are your siblings and the ties should not break.Now the wife and husband has not only broken the bond but has wounded the ladys heart,left her shattered.

taryour:



well this might sound harsh. I don't feel sorry for you. only sorry about your parents.

1* what have you been doing from your year one till your final year? depending on your brother? do you also ask him for funds to get your sanitary pads and lingeries?

2* you eaves dropped and heard about some money being transferred into your brothers wife account, do you know what excatly the money is meant for? or you just concluded it's for her to enjoy.

3* eavesdropping is a very annoying attitude. STOP IT.

4* No your brother or is wife are not doing you any wrong, rather they want you to be independent.

5* it's not to late to get doing something with your hand. there is a whole lot of ideas and people are making millions for themselves.

don't even think about keeping malice with your brother or his wife, you will end up biting the finger that fed you. you are not a child so get busy lady.

best wishes.

uplawal:
I cant believe men with great minds like this still exist.may God bless you with a good wife when the time comes.

Luckygurl:


Cut the crap!!
If you tell me she's meant to be responsible for her upkeep, I wouldn't have any problem with that.
But saying she's supposed to have a boyfriend to cater for her needs is plainly absurd.
Or what was that you had in mind when you typed the emboldened?

Majority of us living off men we ain't related to since 16BC and priding in it as if it's some form of achievement.

2sexynet:
freecocoa, you no dey ever disappoint. It happens ooo. It really happens. It happened to us. That my younger sister left the house when mumsy died. But today same girl often send money for the child's school fees and I also pay as well, even this term, I don pay again.

Okijajuju1:




Hi OP,

Sorry for the hardship you and your sibling are experiencing. I will just like to ask you some questions to better understand things as much as I can.

What is your brothers financial status. Basically what does he do?

What is/was your relationship with your brothers wife prior to and after the marriage.

Do you and your sibling live with him?

Was he married before your parents passed on or after?

What was the relationship between your parents and the wife?

Is your brother the bread winner of his home or his wife?

Between them, who has the money?


Basically I will like to get a clearer picture of the dynamics in his home and the relationship between you all.

cococandy:

I've an assignment for you. Stop. Take a deep breathe. And ask yourself how your comment is helping the OP.

The fact that people like me advice her to stop looking up to her brother and try for herself doesn't mean we think he shouldn't help her.
Yes he should.
How about in this situation that he isn't doing it? What's a better advice than encouraging her to see herself capable than dependent?

Does your ranting against his wife and other posters help her? Instead of giving her constructive advice like things she can do to get by, you're indulging her in the pity party that she's been looking all year long.
Ask yourself again if after instigating her to hate the sister-in-law more, you'll be there to give her actual practical physical support that she needs when they get more and more alienated from her brother due to her attitude towards his wife (read her past posts).

Meanwhile you call yourself a good person. Taking the liberty to insult all the Christains on this thread by saying our way of life is evil. What have you done as a good Muslim to help her now?

You're even judging people you don't know. Maybe we should all call our brothers and sisters-in-law to come show you how our husbands have been helping them before you know you're not the only 'good' wife on this thread. Right? Madam good woman.

cococandy:

I've an assignment for you. Stop. Take a deep breathe. And ask yourself how your comment is helping the OP.

The fact that people like me advice her to stop looking up to her brother and try for herself doesn't mean we think he shouldn't help her.
Yes he should.
How about in this situation that he isn't doing it? What's a better advice than encouraging her to see herself capable than dependent?

Does your ranting against his wife and other posters help her? Instead of giving her constructive advice like things she can do to get by, you're indulging her in the pity party that she's been looking all year long.
Ask yourself again if after instigating her to hate the sister-in-law more, you'll be there to give her actual practical physical support that she needs when they get more and more alienated from her brother due to her attitude towards his wife (read her past posts).

Meanwhile you call yourself a good person. Taking the liberty to insult all the Christains on this thread by saying our way of life is evil. What have you done as a good Muslim to help her now?

You're even judging people you don't know. Maybe we should all call our brothers and sisters-in-law to come show you how our husbands have been helping them before you know you're not the only 'good' wife on this thread. Right? Madam good woman.

uplawal:
Abeg gerrout ,your comment is not a good comment abeg and dnt sound as if you like the brother to help,pls i dnt have time for wicked people like you and the rest.am not gonna reply you, i dnt care if you insult me.