Gudday pals,
it all started this way; I do patronize her mum in their restaurant smtimes she sends d food over, somehow I took her digit so as to order for food when I needed.
As time goes she started by calling to say hi even when their restaurant is not open.
Now d calls is frequent even at midnights and sundays.
As time goes she added me on all social platforms and always wants to chat me up.
Now she even check my phone and questions about my chats wit girls, also asks for t-fare and gifts.
My problem: this is not what I bargained for besides she is only 17 while I'm old enough to be her dad. As I'm 33. She even went as far as questioning my frnd on fbook...
Pls pals how do I tell her dat it can never be possible for me to keep her. She is too young for all this and I'm a principled guy.
Tnks
: Kelvin

Hav u sat her down and talked sense into her Sir?

Man up and tell her, tell her to face her studies nd don't be too nice! Set boundaries! Ur fone and who u chat with should be ur privacy bro. Shes too young for dat!

Be mean when you wannaa tell her

Hmmmm all is well

I can not imagine anyone going into my chats especially female folks. You broke boundary when you allowed her come too close and question your life now you are going to build a higher boundary

It's simple.

Quit communication/interaction with her both on social media and in reality.

Then you 'd be good.

Simples.

When she starts her usual chatting, try and steer the conversation to marriage things like bringing up Tiwa's marriage and steering it to how you are not ready for such. Once she starts trying to convince you...which i know she would...just drop a cluster bomb to incinerate whatever thoughts she has built up around you. Something like...

"Wait o, i hope you are not interested in me because na only you go run that lane. Smallie, you are better than that"

Something like this should be enough to make her do a rethink.

If she appears embarrassed, smile a bit to make her at ease. Its at this point that you IMMEDIATELY give her fatherly advice about her stage in puberty, impact on her studies, how you will always look out for her and being a mentor in the best way you can, how she will see someone who is fits her, usual key called patience...the whole works.
Do as not as much as give her time to think and start making a mountain out of this mole hill. Make your presence prominent. Once done, ask about her studies, it should make her scurry off.

Call her 'Smallie' again when next you come to eat or chat. If she says she doesn't like it, then you stop. The message has been sent, received, read and digested!

If she isn't embarrassed, shy or anything akin to disappointment. And she starts professing her undying love to you, then its more than serious. Just RELOCATE!!!
The love will fade as days goes.





AND PLEASE, PRAY BEFORE YOU EAT!!!!!!!


"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned,
Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned"

-Mourning Bride by William Congreve (1670-1729):

be totally honest to yourself. u led her on at some point, taking advantage of her naive nature. I just hope u havent slept with her.

You should never have collected her number in the first place, but that is in the past now and can't be changed. What you need to change is your attitude towards her. Show her you feel nothing for her romantically and sexually, and make her know you see her as a child. If you have to, tell her outrightly that nothing can happen between you two. The earlier you do this the better.

reserved111:
Gudday pals,
it all started this way; I do patronize her mum in their restaurant smtimes she sends d food over, somehow I took her digit so as to order for food when I needed.
As time goes she started by calling to say hi even when their restaurant is not open.
Now d calls is frequent even at midnights and sundays.
As time goes she added me on all social platforms and always wants to chat me up.
Now she even check my phone and questions about my chats wit girls, also asks for t-fare and gifts.
My problem: this is not what I bargained for besides she is only 17 while I'm old enough to be her dad. As I'm 31. She even went as far as questioning my frnd on fbook...
Pls pals how do I tell her dat it can never be possible for me to keep her. She is too young for all this and I'm a principled guy.
Tnks
: Kelvin

Relax...the girl has done nothing wrong. No need to go all nuclear on her. Just slowly drift away.

For smone saying she is not sure I've slept with her; why do u use such words on me? Hw could I do such a nasty thing...sleeping wit a teenager NO NO.

I treat her like an elder brother and always encourage ask her tins concerning her studies and encourage her to do better like me cos I showed her my ssce results and BSC degree. She just finished writing waec. I took time to examine her by telling her dat she is not yet ripe for marriage and she also needs to finish her studies cos she intend reading bus admin. But in response she told me dat even 13yrs gals get married bla bla bla. Anyway I will take u pple advice my withdrawing gradually

If you truly want to put a Stop to it, you know what to do.
Remember, it can happen to you because Karma is real.

I'm thinking you're indulging her by picking her random calls (especially those made at odd hours), befriending her on Facebook, and giving her your phone.

You can't be telling her 'No' while smiling and expect her to back off; you have to be firm with her and cut off any ties that aren't business related.

I don't advise that you disconnect from her totally but you need to do the following:

1. Stop having your food sent to you at home. Go to the restaurant in person to eat.

2. Stop picking odd hour calls from her. If you must do, steer the conversation to productive topics. Keep it short.

3. Try cooking regularly on your own. This will minimize your going to her mom's restaurant to eat.

Hmmmm, slow kelvin playing with fire. Hian, you think all these rape stories we read are actually as they were reported? Sometimes, a willing mofo got himself into a tight situation where his word held no waters compared to the girl's. Once your image is smeared with rape, no form of atonements from her or even you will do any good.

Put your feet down, stop her from coming to your house and block her calls.Report her to someone elderly if not her mom, just tell whoever that the girl is getting to close and you don't want that. Geskia, I no want read stories that would touch!

reserved111:
Gudday pals,
it all started this way; I do patronize her mum in their restaurant smtimes she sends d food over, somehow I took her digit so as to order for food when I needed.
As time goes she started by calling to say hi even when their restaurant is not open.
Now d calls is frequent even at midnights and sundays.
As time goes she added me on all social platforms and always wants to chat me up.
Now she even check my phone and questions about my chats wit girls, also asks for t-fare and gifts.
My problem: this is not what I bargained for besides she is only 17 while I'm old enough to be her dad. As I'm 31. She even went as far as questioning my frnd on fbook...
Pls pals how do I tell her dat it can never be possible for me to keep her. She is too young for all this and I'm a principled guy.
Tnks
: Kelvin

The Worst lie you can tell anyone is the lie you tell to yourself.
"SOMEHOW" you collected her number ? Somehow ? Seriously ? Please explain SOMEHOW!
is it that when you went to the restaurant to get food they served the food along with the number as toothpick ?

You try to tell us why you took her number. Remember the day you asked for her number and remember the way you asked for it.
and by the way, why didn't you ask for the mum's number instead, since it was for the sole purpose of ordering food.?

She started calling and you probably started it. She started calling and you were leading her on, giving her all the green lights. when she calls, you clear your voice very well before you answer so that you can sound sweet in her ear. Just like a bird She followed your bread crumbs and now you are telling us another thing and trying to look all innocent and pure.

Excuse me!
From ordering food to midnight calls to giving her your phone to read your messages and having conversations about females on your phone and showing her your Bsc and WAEC results. How come ?

She has been coming to your house and you showed her your SHINNING Msc and Bsc and Phd and GCFR results to ENCOURAGE her while letting her read your messages and talk about females on your phone as well as discuss about marriage.

What else are you not telling us?
You kissed her? Yes/No
You smooched her? Yes/No
She gave you head? Yes/No
You have been 4keen her? Yes/No
Or it is only your certificate and your phone she came to see in your house? No/No.

because this your story seems to have been painted and cooked up in a way to make her look bad and make you look like the victim.

You say you were just being a big brother to her. But that's how these things start abi? Big brother Africa.

Tell yourself the truth.

frozenSun:


The Worst lie you can tell anyone is the lie you tell to yourself.
"SOMEHOW" you collected her number ? Somehow ? Seriously ? Please explain SOMEHOW!
is it that when you went to the restaurant to get food they served the food along with the number as toothpick ?

You try to tell us why you took her number. Remember the day you asked for her number and remember the way you asked for it.
and by the way, why didn't you ask for the mum's number instead, since it was for the sole purpose of ordering food.?

She started calling and you probably started it. She started calling and you were leading her on, giving her all the green lights. when she calls, you clear your voice very well before you answer so that you can sound sweet in her ear. Just like a bird She followed your bread crumbs and now you are telling us another thing and trying to look all innocent and pure.

Excuse me!
From ordering food to midnight calls to giving her your phone to read your messages and having conversations about females on your phone and showing her your Bsc and WAEC results. How come ?

She has been coming to your house and you showed her your SHINNING Msc and Bsc and Phd and GCFR results to ENCOURAGE her while letting her read your messages and talk about females on your phone as well as discuss about marriage.

What else are you not telling us?
You kissed her? Yes/No
You smooched her? Yes/No
She gave you head? Yes/No
You have been 4keen her? Yes/No
Or it is only your certificate and your phone she came to see in your house? No/No.

because this your story seems to have been painted and cooked up in a way to make her look bad and make you look like the victim.

You say you were just being a big brother to her. But that's how these things start abi? Big brother Africa.

Tell yourself the truth.

Take it easy naaa..Na quarrel

Excuse me !!!!
he came to be advised stop scolding cause it might be you tommorow...

A car tracker could be your best investment.
Protect your car mow as delay could cost you more...
Call in for more info..

My dear I think there's something you are not telling us, you are in love with her just that her age is giving you concern if not who gave her access to your phone and even the impetus to warn your friends on social network. Leave the girl, don't betray the mum bcoz she might see you as a nice guy.


Your advise is what the girl needs right now.

Kelechi2020:


Take it easy naaa..Na quarrel

Excuse me !!!!
he came to be advised stop scolding cause it might be you tommorow...

A car tracker could be your best investment.
Protect your car mow as delay could cost you more...
Call in for more info..

i am scolding who ?
if that is what you understood after reading my response then that's good for you.

bros....change the restaurant you eat. create a distance btw both of you. block her on social media....and abeg...go and marry.

She is just a teen....who is totally crushing on you... It's a normal phase in a girl s life...

Stop going there to eat. Very soon you'll wake up to realise she's pregnant with your third kid. And youll wonder how you got to that point.





A whole lot of birds looking for where to perch. Don't be the refugee nest. This struggle is real

Tnks to some of u dat gave gud advice, but I must say most people her sound corrupt by saying who knws if she is giving me head, kissing, smooching, se-?x etc. Hav I even tried dose tins in my life even at my age. Not to talk of wit a 17yrs old gal.
For pple that say I should go and marry; I will like u to take me where I can go and marry cos I don't knw any where u can just GO AND MARRY.

no wahala here now, sit her down and tell her in clear terms ur definition of the relationship. If she has an ulterior motive she will simply withdraw. U dnt negotiate wit d devil

First of all, it's no crime sleeping with a teenager. You just have to wait till she's 18.

That said, her mother is either really careless or is encouraging her daughter along this path. Spending too much time with a male customer is something she should have nipped in the bud, in your home no less. How does that even happen?

Be careful, mate, this girl could turn out to be your wife, maybe baby mama or enemy.

She should stop coming to your house and you stop eating at that restaurant for a whlile. Or you could continue with things as they are and give her an unforgettable gift on her 18th birthday.

I wonder why people are coming hard out on the OP. It was not strange sometimes back to have a sort of big brother(non relative) that teaches lessons/gives you advice as a young girl and you can be sure he won't take advantage of you and you see him as an elderly brother I guess this is what OP is thinking but times have changed nobody is innocent anymore some 12 year old know more and quite a lot than their agemates 10-15 years back and the cases of elderly men taking advantages of girls has reduced all that big brother parole.

reserved111:
. I took time to examine her by telling her dat she is not yet ripe for marriage and she also needs to finish her studies cos she intend reading bus admin. But in response she told me dat even 13yrs gals get married bla bla bla. Anyway I will take u pple advice my withdrawing gradually

The girl seems to have a crush on you but me I will say she's on a get a husband mission and I won't be surprised if her mum is totally in support hoping you may marry her .

Bros this one is not withdrawing gradually matter please run, nobody will pity you when you are accused of sleeping with a minor if you fall for that, you may even end up getting accused for rape if she decides to say you raped her. So before the devil tempts you to do the unthinkable run very fast.

All that brotherly advice shelf it now.

Stop going to their restaurant to eat
Stop ordering food from them
Stop picking her calls whether late night or not
Stop allowing her come to your place,block her on social media unfriend from face book etx

Mr reserved111 it sounds harsh but it will help.

On the flip side if its that you are interested in her(people have married from uncle uncle to marriage) Do all the points above then when she's of age or matured enough you can go and ask for her hand properly.



Modified: I just read your other posts now and I think you are actually leading the young girl on. repent oo.

I only believed u op when u said that u were old enough to be her dad...That was the only thing that made me feel that maybe, u are serious about this..... and i had to respond.

Here is the thing...Dads has commanding tone of voices that indicates that they are serious. Use it. No kid will cross the boundary when that tone surfaced...

Maybe u have a genuine mindset about her being only a kid and therefore u feel u have to be nice.but your failure to let her know her limits is actually what the problem is/was....

If u are serious about discharging her, you know what to do....But if u do not know....

<<<<All FB should be blocked...Water should find it's level.

<<<<When she calls, it will be how are u,how is your mother...how is your mother's business....any other conversation she tries to talk about, tell her u are busy....If she tries to talk, bring out your daddy's tone of voice...

<<<<<Her visitation will be only to bring u food, and stay at the door way and receive your food just the normal way people order Pizza...

Oga you sef wan do... you just want us to validate that 17 years is not too small... otherwise you know what to do. What stop the blunt in you... would you tell us if your younger sis is making such move on a man. Abegi!

frozenSun:


The Worst lie you can tell anyone is the lie you tell to yourself.
"SOMEHOW" you collected her number ? Somehow ? Seriously ? Please explain SOMEHOW!
is it that when you went to the restaurant to get food they served the food along with the number as toothpick ?

You try to tell us why you took her number. Remember the day you asked for her number and remember the way you asked for it.
and by the way, why didn't you ask for the mum's number instead, since it was for the sole purpose of ordering food.?

She started calling and you probably started it. She started calling and you were leading her on, giving her all the green lights. when she calls, you clear your voice very well before you answer so that you can sound sweet in her ear. Just like a bird She followed your bread crumbs and now you are telling us another thing and trying to look all innocent and pure.

Excuse me!
From ordering food to midnight calls to giving her your phone to read your messages and having conversations about females on your phone and showing her your Bsc and WAEC results. How come ?

She has been coming to your house and you showed her your SHINNING Msc and Bsc and Phd and GCFR results to ENCOURAGE her while letting her read your messages and talk about females on your phone as well as discuss about marriage.

What else are you not telling us?
You kissed her? Yes/No
You smooched her? Yes/No
She gave you head? Yes/No
You have been 4keen her? Yes/No
Or it is only your certificate and your phone she came to see in your house? No/No.

because this your story seems to have been painted and cooked up in a way to make her look bad and make you look like the victim.

You say you were just being a big brother to her. But that's how these things start abi? Big brother Africa.

Tell yourself the truth.

Mskrisx:





Op go hate u eeh?

Thanks MsKrisx
have i said anything wrong? Abi i dey lie?

How can a 31 year old man be giving a young girl green light and later come here to paint the girl bad like she is now a pest and even be asking what he should do. At 31 you don't know how to tell a child to stop calling your number and leave you alone then what will he do if she was one year older than him or even his age mate. na NTA or AIT he go reach to make announcement.

All these pals saying: tell her to stop calling you, talk to her wit fatherly voice, block her, be mean wit her and all dat...
No matter what she deserve my respect besides I'm smone that treat children wit respect even kids of 4 years, I can't beat a child rather I talk to them wit d same respect as I talk to adults. You don't need to Snub a child if u want to get best result.
Besides I never said dis young gal is sort of rag dat u just need a way to dispose. She is a very pretty and intelligent young woman dat every man will want to keep if she were to be of age or wen she get to ripe age. Advice I seek is hw to make her remove adult kind of feelings till she get to d bridge.

reserved111:
All these pals saying: tell her to stop calling you, talk to her wit fatherly voice, block her, be mean wit her and all dat...
No matter what she deserve my respect besides I'm smone that treat children wit respect even kids of 4 years, I can't beat a child rather I talk to them wit d same respect as I talk to adults. You don't need to Snub a child if u want to get best result.
Besides I never said dis young gal is sort of rag dat u just need a way to dispose. She is a very pretty and intelligent young woman dat every man will want to keep if she were to be of age or wen she get to ripe age. Advice I seek is hw to make her remove adult kind of feelings till she get to d bridge.

mah niggah

Please just chill one more year and shine the Congo very well. Be honest with yourself and remember it is a crime.

Maybe her mum is hoping you will put a ring on it and you are hoping to chop and clean mouth. Remember the hunter ends up one day as the hunted. Don't come here and ask us how to get rid of her once her belly starts swelling o. So many guys have trod this path you take and ended up married or supporting children outside wedlock.