Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,206,906 members, 7,997,163 topics. Date: Friday, 08 November 2024 at 03:47 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? (36307 Views)
60% Of Married Women Don’t Love Their Husbands- Lady Says, See Response / Why Do Some Married Women Cheat? / Why Do Most Single Ladies Get Angry When Addressed As 'ma' (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (22) (Reply) (Go Down)
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by purplerain(f): 11:47am On Jul 12, 2016 |
Because you obviously have done the research and you now know what 95% of women want abi.... Stick to facts Biko. That ONE of your friend feels that way doesn't equate to 95% of women. Cheers oweniwe: 4 Likes |
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by BloodyCrook: 11:59am On Jul 12, 2016 |
crackhaus:The "kid" is under the illusion of false internet bravery and misconception. 4 Likes |
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by Nobody: 12:04pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
shaybebaby: Here is an extract from the book "Colonial Mentality in Africa" by Michael Nkuzi Nnam (p.45): Many tribes were matrilineal, and names were traced through the mother's side of the family. Married women not only kept their family names, but children also took their mother's names. Compare and contrast this with the Western world, where the mother, the wife and the children take the husband's name. (...) Crackhaus 3 Likes |
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by larabae13(f): 12:23pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
crackhaus:thank you dear....I'll surely mention you 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by Nobody: 2:11pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
Mindfulness: Only thing is I don't have the time to trot out links and sources like you guys. It is laughable how people can claim with strut that women not wanting to change their surnames to that of their husband's are merely affecting the ways of the Occident, when in fact the name-changing concept is a Western import brought to us by the self-same White men. Now all can see why I donn't even bother arguing or buttressing my points - it is more or less preaching to the choir. This sect only made sense when the likes of jackaal, cooogar etc were around. Now it's filled with little boys that are angry at the world and the White man. Let me use old Oyo empire as an example: before the advent of the Whites, before colonization, before the missionaries landed on African soil, the woman NEVER took up her husband's name. NEVER!!! That people don't know this beggars description and really questions the validity of the educational system in Nigeria. If the woman's name was Titilayo Owolabi and her husband's name was Adekunle Adewale, she would be adressed in public as: Titilayo, Omo Owolabi, Aya Adewale. Translation: Titi, child of Owolabi, wife of Adewale. She was NEVER adressed as Tilayo Adewale, it is only her children that would now take up the father's name. If anybody doesn't know this and refuses to believe it then let him/her go and buy the history of the Yorubas written by Samuel Johnson or any book at all on Yoruba culture and tradition, or better still conjure the spirit of their dead great great-grand-parents to ask them in person. It was when the White missionaries came that they brought the whole Mr. and Mrs. concept. Heck! Mr and Mrs are even English words. We did not and still do not have words for Mr and Mrs in Yoruba language, so how can something we do not even have the words for exist in the first place?. You know I'll rather go watch some TV than pursuing this lost cause of trying to proselytize close-minded and arrogantly ignorant fellows. It's pointless and a time-wasting venture IMO 15 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by francis18: 4:01pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
only thing is I don't have the time to trot out links and sources like you guys. LMAO SOMEONE WHO LIVES ON THE NET HAS THE GUT TO SAY HE DOESNT HAVE TIME AND COOGAR? YOUR NEMESIS? THE GUY MURDERED YOU HANDS DOWN AND YOU HAVE THE GUT TO SAY LITTLE BOYS? A 19 YEARS OLD TODDLER TRYING TO PRAY ON BORED JOBLESS DESPERATE WIVES? u know I'll rather go watch some TV than pursuing this lost cause of trying to proselytize close-minded and arrogantly ignorant fellows. It's pointless and a time-wasting venture IMO LMAO WHAT IS THERE ELSE TO DO?WHAT DO YOU DO? IF YOU ARE NOT IN SCHOOL, YOU ARE HERE TRYING TO TAKE AFTER COOGAR AND SCAM WOMEN BUT YOU WERE NOT LUCKY IN ROMANCE SECTION BECAUSE THEY FIGURED IT OUT AND YOU WERE DISGRACED! NOW YOU HAVE STUDIED THESE DESPERATE BIMBOS AND KNOW WHO CAN GET YOU UNDER THEIR PANTS BY JUMPING AND PLAYING CAPTAIN SAVE A HOE.CHECK THE FAMILY SECTION WOMEN HE FOLLOWS, HE KNOWS HOW TO MANIPULATE THEM,ESPECIALLY THAT BORED PATHOLOGICAL HOUSEWIFE IN AMERICA.IT IS NOT ABOUT ALL THE STUPID DEBATE WHICH 98% YOU TAKE FROM GOOGLE BECAUSE BOY YOU HAVENT BEEN NOWHERE EXCEPT YOUR OLD MAN RUSTED VILLAGE HOUSE.WHERE IS THE SONOFMARK?COME AND LECTURE THIS FOOL. LOOK AT THE LITTLE Arrow TRYING TO FORM HERE IS THAT A CHEST? ARE YOU HUNGRY OR WHAT AND PEOPLE THIS IS HIS SWAG PICTURE .THE BOY SURELY NEEDS SOME DOLLAR FROM THESE BIMBOS. GO BACK TO RAP SECTION WHEN YOU TRYANNA BE TUPAC. 10 Likes 3 Shares
|
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by francis18: 4:07pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
CRACKHAUS,BLOODYCROOK,JOSEPH1832 |
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by crackhaus: 4:20pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
shaybebaby:Lol.. I understand how you feel I might have sounded cocky to have asserted that but you need to understand that it is the truth. As far as Nigeria is concerned, there are no cultures to my knowledge in which the ancestral lines are traced from the mother - what I mean by ancestral lines is limited to the family name since that's the crux of this thread. However, this is not to say that there aren't cultures that practise a matrilineal style society in Nigeria. In such places, most notably some regions under the old Northern caliphate, you can find villages where women rule the monarchy - I think they're descendants from the Tuaregs, can't remember exactly. There are also instances where property and land titles are inherited/traced from the mother's line, this is not family name - take note. When it comes to tracing ancestral and/or family lines, it was and is still done within the husband's family name. Don't be surprised that I could assert this boldly, I don't just learn about it today.. it's something I did over 3years ago. If you do know of any cultures in Nigeria where children used to bear their mothers surname or where the line of succession is traced using the mother's family line, I would really love it if you shared that with us - I don't know of any as far as the research has taking me. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by TV01(m): 4:23pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
darkenedrebel:So a long wordy post, strategic use of smileys, snide invective, overweening self-congratulatory smugness, and - so far - 6 affirmatory smileys. Your candidature for the NL hall of fame seems assured, even if only in the family section. But not so fast sir; Historically in the West, a woman would have a label - "Mrs" - that signified her marital status, and a name - "her husbands surname" - that identified her with a particular man. Historically amongst the Yoruba, a woman would have a title "Aya" - that signified her marital status - and a name "her husbands first name" - that identified her with a particular male. Pray tell, what was you point again? Particularly in light of the OP? The OP is clear, it is feminist ideology that is driving moves away from this norm. Especially via legislative intervention - thanks Crackhaus, I honestly was not aware. http://time.com/3940094/maiden-married-names-countries/ Mindfulness:Mindfulness, more thought, and consideration before posting please. First, kindly refer to the link above. Especially referencing Quebec and Greece. Second, if women were free to adopt any naming convention they choose post marriage, why would a law be needed? It's not as if it would expand choice? Ergo, the law - again refer to the link - can only be about restricting choice. Which is one of the lies of feminism, in that it belabours the point about choice for women, but in actuality, it restricts choice by ideological diktat. If we are talking anecdotally, it's interesting to note that many in this same West, and, who have no truck with, religious or cultural norms, marry and take their husbands surname - especially when children appear. They typically cite the unity and fullness this engenders. Some are now denied that choice by feminist driven legislation. How ironic. As a man, the woman that will be my wife will take my name. End of. If she wants to bear her fathers name, he may as well marry her. The name change signifies her moving from his authority and responsibility to mine. Not that it's crucial in and of itself, but fitting. It also signifies some of the marital obligation and responsibilities that fall on the husband. Likewise for offspring, my children will carry my name. End of. Even if FIL has no male sons, it is solely within my gift, if I choose to name my family or children to honour him. And I won't - at best one of my children will bear his name as first name. Men are and should remain jealous and territorial. She and they are mine . And at days end, where has the convention ever been that a man drops his surname upon marriage - an anecdotal question . TV 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by shaybebaby(f): 4:29pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
crackhaus:Will hit the library for some research, might find some e journals shedding more light on this. The problem with Africa is that we didn't keep written records of our customs prior to being colonised, most of our history is oral hence hard to say if or what has been misrepresented over time. 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by crackhaus: 4:38pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
Mindfulness:Are you making references to Nigeria or Africa? Of course there are matrilineal societies in Africa - some parts of Ghana, South Africa, Ethiopia, etc these are the ones I can recall off the top of my head. In Nigeria, what you had were cultures that allowed women to inherit land titles/ownership as well as women in the monarchy - there's a remote place in present day Kaduna where women are still ruling...a woman is queen, while her court is made up of men. I can't remember the name of the place. Same way you had warrior queens like Queen Amina of Zaria and Queen Idia of old Benin kingdom who led large armies of men to war. That said, eventually when it came time for any of these Queens to be married, they would take the name of the man they got married to. The misconception that Christianity came to impose patriarchy on Nigerian cultures is a myth started by people like you - there are no historical evidences to prove that Nigeria had a matrilineal society before the white men came. I already listed some of the countries that practised such, and they still do to this day. 3 Likes |
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by Nobody: 4:46pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
crackhaus: If there were tribes all around Africa, in which names were passed from mother to child andin which a woman kept her family's name, then the concept is not a Western idea as some people would make us want to believe. And that's all. |
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by Nobody: 4:53pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
TV01: I jumped into the discussion when I saw Crackhaus referring to Greece, a country I had the pleasure to spend two years of my life in. And I was sure that he was wrong since most women I met there had their husband's name. And there STILL is no law - like in Quebec - which stops a woman from taking her husband's name in Greece. The evidence are famous celebrities, which I have mentioned on this thread. Feel free to google up on them. 1. Alkistis Protopsalti (singer) 2. Nana Karagouni (wife of a football player) 3. Efi Katsourani (wife of a football player) 4. Aleka Papariga (politician) @bold They were not and this is what the law that was passed in 1983 was about. "Other provisions, he said, would allow a wife to keep her own name for legal questions and to choose whichever family name she wished." http://www.nytimes.com/1983/01/30/world/greece-gives-wives-equal-voice-in-the-home.html |
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by crackhaus: 4:54pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
Mindfulness:I don't think I ever said it was a Western idea. It was someone who actually said that women taking their husband's name is a Western construct...and that is what I tried to disprove. And yes, there are still tribes in Africa that trace family lines through the mother's side till this day...but we talking about Nigeria, aren't we? Queen Elizabeth II isn't the first woman to rule the English monarchy, does this now mean Great Britain is a matrilineal society? I hope you understand what I'm trying to get at. |
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by Nobody: 4:55pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
crackhaus: I do. 2 Likes |
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by crackhaus: 4:58pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
Mindfulness:Lol, this issue of Greece nor just gree you believe. Are you saying I made up the statement about that enactment passed in 1983 about married women and keeping birth names? |
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by Nobody: 5:04pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
crackhaus: No, that's not what I am saying. I even know which sources you were referring to and I can confidently tell you and I have provided evidence that they are wrong because unlike in Quebec, in Greece women are free to take on their husband's name and many actually do. |
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by crackhaus: 5:18pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
TV01:You even bothered to respond to that incoherent post. The guy just wanted to try redeeming himself after what his friends did to him yesterday on this thread, obviously he felt bruised and came to soothe himself with that diatribe. Just imagine that post about how Yoruba women used to keep their maiden names, lol... such nonsense written and applauded by others who should have known better. Yorubas? Women kept their maiden names? When and where? 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by crackhaus: 5:19pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
Mindfulness:Okay then, it probably isn't enforced anymore if that's the case. We cool now? |
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by TV01(m): 5:20pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
Mindfulness:The point of the OP and, Crackhaus thrust, was feminism coming to bear on naming conventions. The Greek legislation restricts choice as it stops women dropping their maiden names if they so desire. End of. Your entry point and take did nothing to disprove that fact. Being free to append your husbands surname is not synonymous with being free to drop your maiden name and adopt his surname. Legislation in this regard restricts choice, it does not not expand it.Clear? TV 4 Likes |
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by Nobody: 5:23pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
TV01: I have come to disprove the statement that women are not free to drop their maiden names to take on their husband's name in Greece and I have several times. Have a nice day. |
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by Nobody: 5:23pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
crackhaus: All the time. 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by BloodyCrook: 5:29pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
TV01:TV his very self Nice illustration. Logical and factual submissions backed by well constructed phrasing. But, if I may add, do not quote or trade points with that 19 year old shamer. He will never own up to fact even if you turned it into a shade and put it on his face! He has, with false airs and emboldened ignorance, argued here the West aren't pressuring by lobby, grants, aids and diplomatic manoeuvring, African countries into accepting homosexuality at an institutional level. That's the "child" for you. For an African born and raised in Nigeria to submit that wives don't use their husbands names pre-colonial era is just proof internet access is as devastating as it is expedient for growth. The boy asks of Google subjectively and gets the "facts" he wants to argue with. The ability to sieve facts and truth from the pool of information online is as alien to him as sky-diving is to Nigerians. I have found him arguing too that homosexuality is also an african accepted convention too. One schooling as it stands is enough. 4 Likes |
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by crackhaus: 5:30pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
shaybebaby:This is very true, and it is a very big problem. To be honest, it is also the reason we are quick to accept/adopt any and all things foreign, because we don't even know what we as a people are supposed to stand for. I never fail to use China as a model to explain how a country can be one of the most technologically and industrially advanced today, but have still been able to preserve and respect their millennial-old cultures and traditions. |
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by TV01(m): 5:34pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
Mindfulness: Perhaps in an alternate reality. Your own post clearly show that they can have both, but not his only. http://time.com/3940094/maiden-married-names-countries/ In many countries, a woman taking her husband's surname is a breach of local custom, or even illegal TV 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by crackhaus: 5:40pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
TV01:Exactly. |
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by joseph1832(m): 5:41pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
crackhaus:Where and When? I'll tell you. In a time, a place where teenagers started meddling in the affairs of adults, got spanked, and ran to the internet to redeem their battered ego and deceive the mindless just to ease their wanton pain. 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by Nobody: 5:41pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
TV01: The following female celebrities from Greece have dropped their maiden names ENTIRELY and taken on their husband's name: 1. Alkistis Protopsalti (singer) 2. Nana Karagouni (wife of a football player) 3. Efi Katsourani (wife of a football player) 4. Aleka Papariga (politician) Is any of these names hyphenated? And this is an extract from an article from 1983, which summarizes what the law is about: "Other provisions, he said, would allow a wife to keep her own name for legal questions and to choose whichever family name she wished." http://www.nytimes.com/1983/01/30/world/greece-gives-wives-equal-voice-in-the-home.html I have lived in Greece, I have Greek friends and I know what I am talking about. If you don't believe me, go and visit the Greek community in London and tell them that their women are not allowed to take on their husband's name and tell us their reactions to your assertion. |
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by crackhaus: 5:49pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
Mindfulness:Of course it's definitely not a convenient solution, it is the height of absolute confusion - daddy bearing a different surname, mummy bearing her own hyphenated version of the surname, and then children bearing either of the two. 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by Nobody: 5:52pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
BloodyCrook: In all fairness, everyone on this forum quotes whatever fits their standpoint without questioning the reliability of the sources as long as they buttress his or her opinion. I remember someone quoting 5 or more websites to prove he was right. I took the time to check the soucers and I wasn't surprised by what I found there. The institutions that sponsored the research had ulterior motifs. Objectivity was far from what research should be about. Even politicians use statistics and 'expert opinions' as it suits them. It's difficult for someone who has not been trained in empirical social research to distinguish between valid, representative and reliable research and research that does not meet the criteria. And I have seen it severally here. In this day and age, you can find anything to prove your or disprove someone else's claims. |
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by TV01(m): 5:53pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
Mindfulness:Living in Greece, does not make one a Greek constitutional expert . But all the time on NL (+ your long and expensive education ), should make it easy to grasp, no one has actually said Greek women cannot take on their husbands surnames. Socially, they are allowed to have their husbands names only. Legally - in Greece - they are not allowed to drop their maiden names. Did you pass through Greece as a migrant TV 2 Likes |
Re: Why Do Married Women Have To Be Addressed As Mrs? by Nobody: 5:54pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
crackhaus: Not my problem. I hope everyone is happy. |
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (22) (Reply)
Marital War: You Are My Girlfriend, Not Wife – Husband (Photos) / Woman Left Bloodied After Her Husband Battered Her. Graphic Pics / Generator Fumes Kill Couple In Edo State, Corpses Discovered By Son.Photos/Video
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 130 |