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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Politics / Foreign Affairs / LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit (3936 Views)
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LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by Nobody: 6:47pm On Jul 07, 2016 |
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will not be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. And Congratulations you have learnt German within minutes. 20 Likes 8 Shares |
Re: LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by coolebux(m): 7:11pm On Jul 07, 2016 |
Noooo! I can't imagine myself speaking English like an Abok! Europeans can quarrel and divide all they can, I no send them. 1 Like |
Re: LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by prof800(m): 4:50pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
Wow... very creative. 2 Likes |
Re: LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by Nobody: 6:03pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
prof800: Thank you |
Re: LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by pappy4real(m): 8:00pm On Jul 12, 2016 |
Kudoz man! Kretivity at it's pek 1 Like |
Re: LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by Freiburger(m): 9:00am On Jul 13, 2016 |
What a waste of time. The Brexit thing will have little or no effect on the popularity of the english language. |
Re: LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by Feraz(m): 1:03pm On Jul 13, 2016 |
prof800:Very creative. I was just smiling throughout. jagugu88li, nice one. Pity the only German sentence I can construct and say is "ich bin est mann!" ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by Nobody: 1:24pm On Jul 13, 2016 |
Freiburger: Sorry if you took offence, this was all meant as a joke ( I see your moniker and location). ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by Freiburger(m): 1:38pm On Jul 13, 2016 |
jagugu88li:Oh no offence at all. Your ideal is a very creative one I'll say. But I still think that after the whole negotiation process, the union between the Eu and the Uk will still be stronger than that of the Eu and Norway. Hope you get it. Bist du aus deutschland oder was? 1 Like |
Re: LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by Nobody: 1:47pm On Jul 13, 2016 |
Freiburger: Mm...mm...mm *shaking my head* |
Re: LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by seunny4lif(m): 11:00pm On Jul 13, 2016 |
![]() ![]() ![]() 1 Like |
Re: LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by Nobody: 5:12am On Jul 26, 2016 |
recycled. . . |
Re: LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by Nobody: 3:25pm On Jul 27, 2016 |
Re: LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by Nobody: 7:43am On Jul 28, 2016 |
Eist lav ze Inglish 1 Like |
Re: LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by Nobody: 12:51pm On Jul 28, 2016 |
jagugu88li:Was? what do u mean? |
Re: LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by Jtmanager(m): 9:42am On Jan 11, 2017 |
Germannnnn ![]() Feed me more |
Re: LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by jayriginal: 3:16pm On Jan 13, 2017 |
jagugu88li: Why are you taking credit for this when it's a really old joke? Its quite dishonest especially as it long predates Brexit. 1 Like |
Re: LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by Nobody: 3:21pm On Jan 13, 2017 |
jayriginal:Sir please, ask before making assumptions. Do you know who came up with this OR better yet, do you know me? 1 Like |
Re: LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by jayriginal: 3:27pm On Jan 13, 2017 |
jagugu88li: Whenever you put up something you didn't create, you ought to cite it's source. Knowing you is not relevant to this situation. This is a very old joke that has been passed around numerous jokes on social media. Someone even commended you and you tool credit for it. That's just wrong. 1 Like |
Re: LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by Nobody: 3:32pm On Jan 13, 2017 |
jayriginal:Exactly my point, its wrong because YOU don't know who came up with it. I did no mistake by taking credit, trust me |
Re: LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by jayriginal: 3:34pm On Jan 13, 2017 |
jagugu88li: Insinuating that you came up with it? Spare me. That has been around long before Brexit. |
Re: LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by Nobody: 3:37pm On Jan 13, 2017 |
jayriginal:Now we are moving forward. It wasn't shared here because of brexit....it was just relevant that's all. Lets do this......can you find out who came up with this and get back to me. |
Re: LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by jayriginal: 3:43pm On Jan 13, 2017 |
jagugu88li: I'd have better luck finding a needle in a haystack. If I claimed I'm the one who came up with this, how would you be able to prove me wrong? |
Re: LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by Nobody: 3:49pm On Jan 13, 2017 |
jayriginal:Fortunately you wouldn't. Sir please, if you're looking for a person to pick on today, I'm the wrong person. Wanna talk agriculture? |
Re: LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by jayriginal: 3:51pm On Jan 13, 2017 |
jagugu88li: LOL. No need. I'm off to play football. Take care. |
Re: LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by Nobody: 3:53pm On Jan 13, 2017 |
jayriginal:Enjoy! |
Re: LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by jayriginal: 7:11pm On Jan 13, 2017 |
jagugu88li: I'm back. Sore shoulder but good workout. So you know anything about snail rearing? |
Re: LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by Nobody: 8:49pm On Jan 13, 2017 |
jayriginal:Stop it. You were the chicken......workout, this guy jayriginal:Citrus, Grapes, Refinement |
Re: LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by jayriginal: 8:56pm On Jan 13, 2017 |
jagugu88li: I'm trying. You won't understand. It's been a while. Are we talking snails? What of feed formular and avoiding ants and stuff like that. |
Re: LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by Nobody: 9:05pm On Jan 13, 2017 |
jayriginal:No bro, I'm saying I know nothing about snails. Those I mentioned are what I know. jayriginal:Tell me you're not trying to be a chicken ![]() |
Re: LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by jayriginal: 9:12pm On Jan 13, 2017 |
jagugu88li: Ok, no snails then. I'm not chicken. In fact I'm pretty brave. Lucky I have ibuprofen in the house. It's not easy to be running around with young sprouts. Trying to regain the old me. |
Re: LOL: Germany Introduces New English After Brexit by Nobody: 9:22pm On Jan 13, 2017 |
jayriginal:Go to the gym tomorrow and tell me how you feel.....it'll still be the same OR you'll get immune to that ibuprofen before the old you kicks in...... Naa, don't mind me. |
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