jusRadical:



I beg to differ.

It is not about courting very well. It is about honesty, truthfullness, straightforwardness, and being real.

My parents neither courted nor knew each before the day of introduction.

understanding each other is the real deal

I think u and the husband should pay the lady a visit

There was/is an issue that the couple is not telling you.

Kakamorufu:
cos it works for them dosent mean it will work for others. Their marriage were back in the days, nowadays things av changed.

How?

Has honesty changed? No.

Has truthfullness changed? No.

Has being real changed? No

Has straightforwardness changed? No

I smell gossip in here.

So you brought their matter to nairaland to gossip while you hype yourself as being sucessfully married for 3yrs.
Pls oga go find work and let thé couples be.

The man should know where to find his wife or he should find his way to court to dissolve the marriage. Marriage is not a do or die affair.

jusRadical:




How?

Has honesty changed? No.

Has truthfullness changed? No.

Has being real changed? No

Has straightforwardness changed? No

most answers to those are resounding yes. Gbam.

Learning

@snakie86

Read most of the write-up.
I don't think the marriage has hit the rocks, it's still salvageable. She won't be the first wife to walk out of the house at the early stage of marriage. By the time she spends sometime alone with herself she will begin to miss the guy. That an persistent pressure from parents and friends etc. I believe she will move back soon following talks fron elders and friends. It's not like the guy cheated on her or beat her. She's just having doubts that's all. Continue advising them correctly. And pray for them too if u are into that. They'll be alright.

jusRadical:




How?

Has honesty changed? No.

Has truthfullness changed? No.

Has being real changed? No

Has straightforwardness changed? No

Tolerance and endurance levels have changed!

Also there's more exposure and higher expectations between couples now

@OP:


The wife seems one with the bigger issues.

Even if the husband was all she said and wanted a model of what you guys 'have', she would have tried the suggestions your wife gave before 'giving up.'

She doesn't seem ready for marriage especially with her 'saucy' friend.

Since the husband is still interested in the marriage, there is still a solution.

Keep doing your Samaritan neighbor's part and help them with prayers. It is your business to mediate as they have brought it to your doorstep

God bless you and your home and bring them back together.

bukatyne:
@OP:


The wife seems one with the bigger issues.

Even if the husband was all she said and wanted a model of what you guys 'have', she would have tried the suggestions your wife gave before 'giving up.'

She doesn't seem ready for marriage especially with her 'saucy' friend.

Since the husband is still interested in the marriage, there is still a solution.

Keep doing your Samaritan neighbor's part and help them with prayers. It is your business to mediate as they have brought it to your doorstep

God bless you and your home and bring them back together.

God bless you too

snakie86:


Dont want to make this a tribal issue. They are both from the same state and the same town

That should be Umuleri or Ugwuleri.

Kakamorufu:
most answers to those are resounding yes. Gbam.

So if honesty, faithfullness, straightforwardness, reality, etc have changed, what have they become?

Most are word of mouth these days.

jusRadical:




So if honesty, faithfullness, straightforwardness, reality, etc have changed, what have they become?

snakie86:


God bless you too but i think the marriage is over based on my discussion with the husband some few hours ago.
I will brief our discussion when i can type proper

Ok then.

Others can learn.

I pray this doesn't get to fp.... How will the husband and wife feel seeing their issues on Nairaland....

Kakamorufu:
Most are word of mouth these days.

Well that is for them.

For me, my words, my thoughts and my actions matter most to me. I will account for them one day.

I have a name to live for. I have a race to run and I have a prize set before me.

Kakamorufu:
Most are word of mouth these days.

Well that is for them.

For me, my words, my thoughts and my actions matter most to me. I will account for them one day.

I have a name to live for. I have a race to run and I have a prize set before me.

Above all, I have unseen eyes and ears that see and hear me even in my most secret place.

snakie86:
I will keep updating as event unfold and trying to see if we can find a solution to this problem. Two months is just too soon to give up on your marriage and i believed moving out of the house was not a day or week plan by the wife

This is the oppurtunity you have to talk extensively with the man(husband to the lady).while at it you chip in some and most things the woman have been saying about her husband and things they were facing back then.

And to the woman(wife of the man) its obvious she has bad advicers. She wouldnt have left the house if and when she doesnt have were to go. But all in all keep trying if you can get her and talk some senses into her. But if her parents(mum) is in support of her moving out from her home even without getting to hear from the husbands side, its another problem.

[quote author=njiasi30 post=47810380]Firstly, u made a mistake by nt telling d man. U would ve saved D marriage by now. U would ve spoken to him man 2 man,in a nice way.pretend DAT u over heard when she was telling ur wife and she was bittered/crying bc she loves him. D hubby will feel remorse and make amend.

D marriage is 2 early 4 break up, d man is an introvert but he didn't balance things up. Women re 2 soft and dey love to b pampered, d man sleeping off everytime , it's painful Na. She was really lonely and no kids yet to fill in d gap DAT was why she got 2 close to ur family just to b happy. Dat was why she started comparing u 2 her hubby, every woman Will do d same when dey re nt seeing what dey desire...

U don't need to b compatible 2 ve a perfect marriage. Marriage is all abt understanding, tolerance, endurance... Learning each other flaws and accepting it, apologizing even if u re right, DAT shows u value ur relationship more Dan ur ego.listening to each other, No one is perfect, we re all working towards perfection and pray 4 D best.

It's unfortunate she ve a bad friend dat adviced her wrongly, keep calling/texting, let her know her hubby is sorry and all dat, if u can reach d friend fine.Let her hubby go and beg his in-laws and see d outcome first. I wish u best of luck trying 2 reunite dem .simple

A woman who would leave her marriage barely 2 months later shouldnt be pandered to. Let the man wait 4 more months and then serve her divorce papers. Belive me he is better off...

She's not ready for marriage.

To marry is not by force.

I had a lenghty discussion

Am still in a shock

Op, thanks for all your effort so far to the ex couple. Thanks for sharing too, this has opened my eyes to certain things and I have learned one more time.


That singular part of a domineering spouse is a no no for me. One of the reason I never regret losing my last relationship one bit and thanking God for the relationship coming to an end. It is a red flag that most guys should not ignore.
From my experience, ladies like that always know best, never take others idea/advice and always want to have their ways.

The husband should just take it as his loss for spending that much for the wedding(on someone that doesn't worth it) to the extent of having debt to settle. He made the mistake of ignoring the reg flag probably with the mind that it is not a big deal.
The more we continue to be real and to use our head instead of allowing emotion to control us, the better we will be and the better our marriages would be.
Thank you once again. I appreciate

Wow what a lady, after all that finance on the wedding, she just walked out like it's nothing. I've never been a marriage person because I feel men always lose out, what's more annoying is the parents defending the child, anyway sha the guy should just focus on work and ignore marriage for now, some women are just useless.

Olami90:
Op, thanks for all your effort so far to the ex couple. Thanks for sharing too, this has opened my eyes to certain things and I have learned one more time.


That singular part of a domineering spouse is a no no for me. One of the reason I never regret losing my last relationship one bit and thanking God for the relationship coming to an end. It is a red flag that most guys should not ignore.
From my experience, ladies like that always know best, never take others idea/advice and always want to have their ways.

The husband should just take it as his loss for spending that much for the wedding(on someone that doesn't worth it) to the extent of having debt to settle. He made the mistake of ignoring the reg flag probably with the mind that it is not a big deal.
The more we continue to be real and to use our head instead of allowing emotion to control us, the better we will be and the better our marriages would be.
Thank you once again. I appreciate

Sincerely, have learnt a lot myself

..He received a divorce letter from a lawyer on the instruction of the wife (He showed me the letter), the wife has sued for divorce and she is claiming [b]damages and compensation. The husband is worried on the kind of compensation as they didn’t even go to the registry.
He already called the lawyer and estate of our building that he is moving out of the flat, they should find another tenant for the house and refunds to him the balance of his outstanding rent once they find someone to occupy the house.[/b]

Damages and compensation for what When she is the one that moved out of the house? When she is the one that packed things that didn't belong to her? When she put the man through emotional torture not knowing where she was?

Op is the man rich? Maybe it was a financial trap? I hope he has a good lawyer, he should countersue her st[upid as's!!

WTF!!


Also@snakie86 I'm not saying I doubt your story, but u can't sue for divorce before 6months of marriage. It's the Nigerian law. Unless there's something else we don't know?

Useless, unreasonable, dubious and self-centred are perfect words to use for some of these ladies.
They usually don't think deep before they act.Unfortunately, they are much in the world of today. No matter how much you have spent on them, it is still as if a man have done nothing. They just do not worth it.

Obviously she was never prepared for the marriage. I guess she just wanted to put on the gown and feel the vibes just like others.

By the time she would be regretting her actions, it won't be possible for her to make correction but I am sure she would pay for it in a way.

snakie86:


Sincerely, have learnt a lot myself.....i thought have seen it all before but the more i think about this even, the more i believe anything is possible in this life.
Lalasticlala please come help us have more insight and learn

Now that you've heard from the husband,you can now confirm what i posted earlier. It's just unfortunate that the man didn't see the red flags before marriage but like i said,these things happen so it's not the end of the world. He has learnt his lessons and won't be foolish a second time.

5minsmadness:



Damages and compensation for what When she is the one that moved out of the house? When she is the one that packed things that didn't belong to her? When she put the man through emotional torture not knowing where she was?

Op is the man rich? Maybe it was a financial trap? I hope he has a good lawyer, he should countersue her st[upid as's!!

WTF!!


Also@snakie86 I'm not saying I doubt your story, but u can't sue for divorce before 6months of marriage. It's the Nigerian law. Unless there's something else we don't know?

I was surprise too

Olami90:
Useless, unreasonable, dubious and self-centred are perfect words to use for some of these ladies.
They usually don't think deep before they act.Unfortunately, they are much in the world of today. No matter how much you have spent on them, it is still as if a man have done nothing. They just do not worth it.

Obviously she was never prepared for the marriage. I guess she just wanted to put on the gown and feel the vibes just like others.

By the time she would be regretting her actions, it won't be possible for her to make correction but I am sure she would pay for it in a way.

You can't satisfy a woman, ita not possible unless she's just happy generally.