What a cöck and büll story.

Nairaland never fails to deliver fantasy "marriage issues". Even IF this were real, @op it was none of your business to poke nose half as much as you did to the point where you were furnishing us with hourly updates?

Really?

You might as well lived with them. Obviously the parents were a lot more clued on than you, yet you castigate them for being cold? You "married for 3 years" suddenly understands marriage more than her parents who've been married for over 20 years? Or their daughter whom they've known all her life?

Seriously?

Tell this "neighbour" of yours to move on with his life. Marriage isn't a do or die affair. Better she walks now than when kids are involved.

Shikena.

snakie86:


I was surprise too, if he didnt show me the letter i will say probably he was lying but i saw the number mysef.....

As to the fact that if the story is tru, i can tell is its 100% tru, my wife is on nl too and she has stumbled on this story few minutes ago and called me because am not at home, there are things that was discussed (calls and chat) which i just dont want to share now

She's probably getting some really bad advice from somewhere. She will get paid in her own kind.

Sorry, it's 2yrs post marriage before a person can file for divorce, not six months. What she probably wrote was a petition. The husband should get a cut-throat lawyer who will counter-sue for millions. He'll have a field day with this, barring extenuating circumstances.

Counter suing will be counter productive, there is probably a lot of emotions flying round here so my view is that the husband should take a break from it all. Ignore any legal communications for a bit and give himself some headspace.

It is unusual for something to break down so quickly but not impossible.

I'd say her friends have nothing to do with this, in as much as she may have received advice ultimately she is responsible for her actions so let's remove others from the equation.

I'd advise the husband not plead or push for a reconciliation now. Not because I believe it is impossible but to remove the constraint of we must remain married or divorce.

There must be room for honest conversation, whatever emerges from it will determine the next course of action. But remember, something, however mundane pushes the wife into this action. Even if it is uncalled for, it was real enough to her to precipitate walking out. This must be found out, without judgement or censure.

He must be prepared to listen as well, because if they ever reconcile, they must know how they got to the point they were previously so as not to continue in the manner, address the issue and do it differently.

This is only possible if she wants to be with him and vice Versa after their chats. If her mind is unchanging afterwards, he should let it be. You can't force someone who doesn't want to be with you to stay.

But it's not all doom and gloom, every door shutting behind you is a gateway to something new. He should reflect without rancour on what went wrong, acknowledge where mistakes were made and take his new found knowledge into the future with him.

He sounds like a good person, perhaps she unwittingly did him a favour without realising. There is every to play for now, the chance to live the rest of his life and build better better relationship based on his new found experience. I am willing to bet that one-day he will look back to this moment and in his mind, say thank to her. This song comes to mind..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjibnWnkFZs

OP your story is a joke. You cannot file a petition and be granted even under 1 year in a Lagos Court unless you can prove Exceptional Hardship or Exceptional Depravity. You also need to prove a year's abandonment, public drunkenness, abuse or adultery to start filing. You cannot even file a Motion and you certainly cannot get married, move out under 2 months and get a legal petition for divorce, you will be advised to wait a year to see if your spouse contacts you and attempts reconciliation. Unless you are saying the document was typed by a lawyer and not filed. Take a picture of the petition and send it to me, or I label you a liar.

I see you have a blog as well and are calling for a super mod to move this story to the frontpage the idiotic stories people tell on NL for fame or self-promotion or scamming is getting so boring that truly I've been thinking of leaving this site. Let me go and waste my data elsewhere.

EfemenaXY:
What a cöck and büll story.

Nairaland never fails to deliver fantasy "marriage issues". Even IF this were real, @op it was none of your business to poke nose half as much as you did to the point where you were furnishing us with hourly updates?

Really?

You might as well lived with them. Obviously the parents were a lot more clued on than you, yet you castigate them for being cold? You "married for 3 years" suddenly understands marriage more than her parents who've been married for over 20 years? Or their daughter whom they've known all her life?

Seriously?

Tell this "neighbour" of yours to move on with his life. Marriage isn't a do or die affair. Better she walks now than when kids are involved.

Shikena.

The lady has found a rich guy and the parents are in support of her moving on with her life.

There is no epistle that will change her mind until she meets her Waterloo in the supposedly greener grass. Unfortunately, it will be too late for her to come back.

All the while she was coming to your house to complain, she was looking for you guys to support her in condemning the husband so she can have enough support in carrying out her secret plan.

Forget it, I am confident she is in another man's house currently.

She is a goner.. I pity the poor husband.

op tell us as it unfolds abeg

snakie86:
I will keep updating as event unfold and trying to see if we can find a solution to this problem. Two months is just too soon to give up on your marriage and i believed moving out of the house was not a day or week plan by the wife

OP MIND YA BUSINESS! You sef, you no de go work?

The Greatest Mistake a Man will make is to marry a woman who is not psychologically,emotionally and physiologically prepared for marriage...Marriage is not wedding...Wedding is for a day,Marriage for a Lifetime,MEN STOP WASTING MONEY ON LADIES THAT WANT TO WED BUT CAN'T STAY IN MARRIAGE...Personally i insist women should contribute at least 30% of wedding expenses so as to see marriage more like a partnership...The Man wedded a lady that contributed nothing to her marriage that's why she left without feeling the pain of losing anything. #LessonsLearnt

Both of them were not ready for marriage. Simple.
First principles of marriage (1)fasting&prayer and (2) communication.
I have seen couples who kicked it off right from the start and yet I always see marriages breaking up everyday.
If u think its always lovey dovey, pls save yourself the heartbreak and don't marry.

jusRadical:
The wife maybe was not prepared for marriage.

She was a house wife right? She expects the man to come home and start washing plates after a hectic day at the office?

They were only 2 at home then right? So what does she do with her time when the husband is at work?

Why did she not do what you adviced her to do?

I have feeling that she was not truthful to you. If she told you about her husband, why did she not tell you about her intention to pack out?

The things she complained about are nor serious issues.

Is that her friend legally and contently married?

I think that she must gave made up her mind to leave for no reason.

There ia a way that seems right to a man but its end na die.

Why is she not picking you calls?

She has bad friends and many skeletons in her wardrobe or cupboard.

she is a lesbian

Better it end now


The man should forget the girl jor and marry again


The love is gone and gone forever


Of this happen to me..... Il move on with life sharp sharp


Yes it stings but ish happens


Its gud to have thick skin and stop being too emotional


Move on abeg

MisterPresident:
Not to make this a tribal issue, but please is the wife from the south-west?

The answer to this question will help with a research I'm doing and I will share my views once you answer this question.

Thanks.

what has south west got to do with this issue.

This is a very sad one. Even though the husband might have goofed, I believe the blame squarely lies on the lady's shoulder. She's in a marriage and not a fling. It's not something that you just give up on. And from this narrative it seems she did not make enough effort to tell her husband what was wrong. It all boils down to the fact that she probably never really loved him.

snakie86:
Am still in a shock if what is happening is still a reality, one thing i understand from the guy’s perspective is that even though he is an introvert, he will definitely talk to you if you engage him in deep conversation, ask him questions and he will answer you but once you don’t ask him anything, he will just be to himself. He is not the type that strike conversation first. I never think our conversations will even last that long as the only thing he wanted to tell me was that he was leaving the building but he opened up once i started asking question.
Am still wondering what is the tolerance level someone should have in a marriage? Does it means that the wife already had another suitor out there waiting for her and that was the reason she also had to come in the legal way?

I do watch it in TV or hear it that marriages break but this is still a great shock to me. Why go into a marriage when you are not ready? Why say i do with someone when you know your heart lies with someone else, why pretend in your marriage?

I don’t even know the possibility of the guy falling in love again, his love life i believe can never be the same again, it will definitely take a special person to change his mind about love. Every one of us have our deficiencies but once our partners understand us, we will live by it.
The same way the husband is having a sleepless night, am still having same too whenever i think of them. The guy has packed his cloth out of the house and the only thing remaining is the set of chair, he had already drop his key for us as the lawyer said he will be coming to inspect the house.

Have stop calling the wife again and promised the husband to always keep in touch but the question that still ring on my mind is maybe things wouldn’t have turn out like this if we had intervened at the initial stage but we don’t just want to be putting our mind in people’s affairs as we also have our own biting us on our feet.......Am still in a shock state of mind, what a two months wasted marital life

This may sound absurd but if u dig deep you may find out that the wife and her friend are probably involved in an amorous relationship... Just my 2cents

They both lied to themselves from the beginning. There's something each person thought the other had. When they got married one of them found out that thing doesn't exist. The marriage has to pack up because the foundation holding it doesn't exist from the beginning.

mrwonlasewonie:
Op i have a feeling the so called saucy friend knows her where about so what you will do is to pet her,beg her and calm her down. If she talks anyhow ignore all that.just find a way to soften her heart then when you have gotten her attention and trust ask her about her friends where about or who will know of her whereabouts; you will see ,she'll tell you

YOU'RE a man na.you guys know your ways around with women especially calming them down. Just try it.if possible buy something for her and give your wife to give her so that she won't think you're trying to make passes at her.you can give your wife money to buy anything she feels a woman might like. It could be hand bag,clutch purse, necklace or Ankara.just do it to make her divulge information .bottonline is infiltrate her

I was actually beginning to think you will suggest the op date the lady too in addition to all the many stuffs you listed above. Mtsheeew!

As if someone made him a justice of peace.

What you suggested above is way beyond his brief.

The estrange husband of the lady who absconded should be the one doing all the above if really he wants to find her.

Whether he accepts to continue the marriage is another matter.

May God protect us men from evil women hiding behind beauty or "yellow" skin.

Men should realise that no matter your sincerest effort, some ladies are not just wife material by any stretch of the imagination.

snakie86:
I will keep updating as event unfold and trying to see if we can find a solution to this problem. Two months is just too soon to give up on your marriage and i believed moving out of the house was not a day or week plan by the wife

That's what negative friends can cause. The wife choose to listen to friends who are not after her welfare. U and ur wife did your best to help her out. I am certain that she will come to her senses. But I just hope it's not too late.

The problem is with the wife. She was advised to talk to d husband about it what was her response like? Damn! Let me summarize it, the woman was not ready for the marriage. She only got married because oda women especially people of her age were already married.

Third party in my marriage? God forbid!!.They destroy marriages at an alarming rate

BellaElla:
Oga morning o. In my opinion I believe you are too involved in their marriage. Firstly it is only an irresponsible wife that visits neighbours everyday without reason. You and ur wife shouldn't have let it get that frequent. Its not a behaviour to encouraged and breeds over familiarity and disrespect. Another thing is when she started complaining about her marriage to u people, you should have known the kind of woman she was. That woman can set u up, she can cause issues between u and ur wife . She is not a wise person to associate with. However its not late to disassociate urself. Distance urself from their issues. Stop calling the woman. E no concern u. Let the man and his family sort it out. It would surprise u that when they are talking about their wahala or name would be mentioned. Over familiarity between neighbours dey always bring insult.

This is the best advice so far...i'm still reading tho. Very mature comment.

The OP is acting like he doesn't realise these people have existed b4 moving into the compound.
Let their friends settle the issue, let their families settle the issue b4 his own marriage gets dragged into the matter.

Why allowing a disrespectful wife even continue frequenting ur home? OP you lucky she hasn't infected your wife.

In summary: learn to mind your business!

ALSO B4 I BELIEVE THE STORY SHOW US EVIDENCE lols

snakie86:




I will say am the type that doesn't like meddling into people's affair. More reason why i didn't even say anything at the beginning with the believe that they will overcome it.
After the wife complained and what happened, have been hearing from the husband for the past five days now and we have discussed at length and we still discuss in some few minutes now as he already told me he want to see me.
The husband was even the one that gave me the wife's number to help talk to her because neither me or my wife has her number, the only one i ever had prior before now is the husband phone number.
We are not taking side and blaming anyone of them, I know there is little i can do and both families should try and sort things out between them.

My dear, the 2 commenters you responded to have spoken my mind. You have tried over and beyond what some of their so called relatives will be prepared to do. leave the matter alone! And what ever you do, do NOT beat yourself up by playing the guilt card. You and your wife did what you could at the time. If they are meant to be,so be it. if they aren't,so be it too. Let sleeping dogs lie o.

MisterPresident:
Not to make this a tribal issue, but please is the wife from the south-west?

Most likely.

MisterPresident:
Not to make this a tribal issue, but please is the wife from the south-west?

The answer to this question will help with a research I'm doing and I will share my views once you answer this question.

Thanks.

dude divorce is everywhere. It doesn't have anything to do with any tribe. Its rampant in d west though. That m not prod of cos m from dere

snakie86:
I have been hearing about this kind of issue but not seen one until it happened close to me. I know this might be a little bit long but i just want to put it out and learn from people to find a resolution......

Haven read through I realized that there might be another side to the story......

But dear God help me not to take the kind of decision this woman took. amen

Please mend their home. Amen

Little wonder the bible says; he who finds a wife has found a good thing!

EfemenaXY:
What a cöck and büll story.

Nairaland never fails to deliver fantasy "marriage issues". Even IF this were real, @op it was none of your business to poke nose half as much as you did to the point where you were furnishing us with hourly updates?

Really?

You might as well lived with them. Obviously the parents were a lot more clued on than you, yet you castigate them for being cold? You "married for 3 years" suddenly understands marriage more than her parents who've been married for over 20 years? Or their daughter whom they've known all her life?

Seriously?

Tell this "neighbour" of yours to move on with his life. Marriage isn't a do or die affair. Better she walks now than when kids are involved.

Shikena.

you need mental check. From judging the op to giving advice. Don't tell me you are the wife snatcher?

Whether true or not, I think I learnt a lot from this story.

--. It goes to say, a relationship is never and always never about one person. You should always talk...it helps.

--. Always read your partners; mood, signs, speech, it helps too.

mrwonlasewonie:
etunde,etitun bere.always bringing out tribal issues where there's no need for it.isshhh

the guy is IBO. That m sure. That's why they are the most-disliked tribe in nigeria especially their men

Will keep saying this, Love is truly never Enough for any marriage..